I have been getting a few PM's from various people askin where i have been and such so i thought i would give you all an update. I want this to be short because my boyfriend makes fun of me for making these long winded very personal posts about my life. I make these posts because i like to have them in writing and it is nice to get feedback, honest feedback from people who can't judge me. Hi Will since you might still check this site lol and i love you <3
The real start of my mental problems can date back to when i was 11, but that is a little far back there. School started this fall and i had a heavy weight on my shoulders. After being on academic probation for the 2nd semester in a row i needed to get my ass into gear. I do not consider myself a dumb person. I view my self as educated and intelligent...most of the time.
In about 2 weeks i was already getting into my depressed moods. I have had depression since about 6th grade. I was using substances to cover up a lot of my inner pain, but the week of the 8th was the worst. I had been prescribed Lorazapam for my anxiety problems. I was starting to abuse it to get high so i could take the edge off. Then, on Sunday the 13th i hit bottom. I had attempted to kill myself just out of, what i call, no where. I was just in my room doing homework, something had bugged me, not sure what it was and i reached for old reliable Lorazapam to take the edge off, well, it ended up being much more, i mouthed quiet a few and decided to just say fuck it. I had taken a lot of what was left in the bottle and topped it off with some Nyquil. After about 20 mins i completely blacked out and i remember slight things. I remember cutting up my left arm and stumbling outside. Luckily for me my friends saw what was going on and called my mom asking what they needed to do. They had called an ambulance, which took apparently 30 minutes to get there...yeah they call saying their friend needs help and it takes them 30 minutes.
It was about 5AM and i wake up in Western Maryland Hospital. I wake up to find bandages on my arm and a IV in my arm. A "Crisis Manager" i think her title was comes in and starts telling me things that i really don't remember. One thing that stuck in my mind was when she said, "You can either sign this and come into the pshych ward voluntarily or we can force you to." I just signed the thing and waited till i got up there. I spent 2 days in hell. I don't remember anything specifically about the place, it just smelled like death.
On Tuesday of that week my mom comes and gets me and i am transferred to Sheppard Pratt in Towson, about 5 minutes from my house. I spent 9 days in there. I was able to get on the right medications and get another review of my diagnosis. I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Type II Disorder.
Currently i am now just living at home on medical leave from school doing a day program at the hospital to keep myself in check. It has been an experience and has really opened my eyes to a lot of things. The best part about this was my parents, sister, boyfriend, and friends where there for me the entire time.
-Kelyon
The real start of my mental problems can date back to when i was 11, but that is a little far back there. School started this fall and i had a heavy weight on my shoulders. After being on academic probation for the 2nd semester in a row i needed to get my ass into gear. I do not consider myself a dumb person. I view my self as educated and intelligent...most of the time.
In about 2 weeks i was already getting into my depressed moods. I have had depression since about 6th grade. I was using substances to cover up a lot of my inner pain, but the week of the 8th was the worst. I had been prescribed Lorazapam for my anxiety problems. I was starting to abuse it to get high so i could take the edge off. Then, on Sunday the 13th i hit bottom. I had attempted to kill myself just out of, what i call, no where. I was just in my room doing homework, something had bugged me, not sure what it was and i reached for old reliable Lorazapam to take the edge off, well, it ended up being much more, i mouthed quiet a few and decided to just say fuck it. I had taken a lot of what was left in the bottle and topped it off with some Nyquil. After about 20 mins i completely blacked out and i remember slight things. I remember cutting up my left arm and stumbling outside. Luckily for me my friends saw what was going on and called my mom asking what they needed to do. They had called an ambulance, which took apparently 30 minutes to get there...yeah they call saying their friend needs help and it takes them 30 minutes.
It was about 5AM and i wake up in Western Maryland Hospital. I wake up to find bandages on my arm and a IV in my arm. A "Crisis Manager" i think her title was comes in and starts telling me things that i really don't remember. One thing that stuck in my mind was when she said, "You can either sign this and come into the pshych ward voluntarily or we can force you to." I just signed the thing and waited till i got up there. I spent 2 days in hell. I don't remember anything specifically about the place, it just smelled like death.
On Tuesday of that week my mom comes and gets me and i am transferred to Sheppard Pratt in Towson, about 5 minutes from my house. I spent 9 days in there. I was able to get on the right medications and get another review of my diagnosis. I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Type II Disorder.
Currently i am now just living at home on medical leave from school doing a day program at the hospital to keep myself in check. It has been an experience and has really opened my eyes to a lot of things. The best part about this was my parents, sister, boyfriend, and friends where there for me the entire time.
-Kelyon
