Saturday, November 7, 2009
HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
Is the glass half empty or half full? This is a matter of perception - and an important one. The person who sees the glass as half full leads a generally happy life. The one who sees it as half empty? The guy or girl who is simply NEVER happy about anything - and in my business - too often a hopeless douchebag who just needs to throw herself off a cliff and finally relieve the world of a profound drain on its emotional resources.
To exemplify today's cerebral observation, I offer two individuals, both of whom ran a minimum- size color ad in The Village Voice last week. One had NEVER run in the paper before. And one had previously, but has no recollection of anything and hence, was for all intents and purposes a first-time advertiser. Now I'm very aware of how the response rolls from one of these ads. Yes, print is dead - but you wouldn't know it from the overwhelming response a photo of a big set of juggzz garners in the world's leading alternative paper.
Individual #1 is a big-breasted, reasonably even-tempered black girl. A few days into her 7 day run in the paper, she called to report with a giggle, that all manner of nuts and bolts call from The Voice. She did NOT complain about all the riff raff a girl has to sift through when running in that paper. But rather...thanked me for choosing her best picture and designing a very attractive ad. Really, her only complaint was that the dreaded monthly visitor arrived on the second day of the ad preventing her from making more money from her investment. We gabbed for a while, pleasantly conversing like the old friends we actually are NOT (I only recently met this girl via a blanket e-mail solicitation). Both of our perspectives viewed the glass as half full. The ad ran...the number was correct....the image appealing...and though a biological function stood in the way of a total victory...and some of the respondents were a little unworthy, it was a successful venture nonetheless.
And now...to yesterday's "half empty" chick. THIS is an Aryan European diva - a physically endowed lady for sure - but a miserable mother fucker whose muddled mind prevents her from seeing anything in a positive light. While the first girl was amused by the smorgasbord of bizarre respondents, the second girl was horrified! Instead of picking through all the oysters to find that pearl (and they ARE in The Village Voice...I had one client who alleged that she "dated" Garry Marshall and Jeff Goldbloom from that paper), she labeled EVERYBODY who responded to her ad a loser! The glass was definitely half empty from her perspective. I got no "thank you's" for running an attractive ad that made her phone ring like crazy...and no pleasant conversation from the girl! Just a lot of verbal poop about how fabulous she is...and everybody else ISN'T!
The end result of these two diametrically opposed perspectives in the case of these two girls sorts out like this: Girl # 1 with the "half full" attitude, has a sugar daddy from an old eros ad, who actually has her on the company payroll! She fools around with ads and what not to augment her income...but in fact, has deep feelings for the sugar...and would marry him in a "heartbeat" (her word) if he proposed. And whenever he says "jump," she's only too eager to ask plaintively "How high?"
Conversely, the "half empty" chick is on a constant search for the perfect sugar daddy who never seems to come into her life. And she has no clue that the reason she never finds him is simply because of her crappy "half empty" attitude!
I ponder today's astute observation and come to the conclusion that there IS something to be learned in today's rant. I am not a 100 % "half empty" guy. Nor am I a 100% "half full" guy. But after conversing with these two girls yesterday, I realize that aspiring to be a 100% "half full" guy will leave me so much happier in life that it's a worthy pursuit. So I'm gonna count my blessings that I have this job instead of the one driving a cab. I'm going to appreciate the clients who treat me fairly and pay on time. And I'm even gonna say "thanks" to the "half-empty" chick for the occasional lighter moments and hot physical interaction we've enjoyed in the past.
Yes, for at least the next ten minutes, I'm going to view the world as a glass half full! It's a bright, sunny and cool day. I could complain that I have to ride to 53rd and 8th to pick up a delinquent payment and cry about why the fuck these people can't pay on time. But instead, I'm going to view the voyage as an opportunity to get a little exercise...make a few bucks...and then enjoy autumn in Central Park, riding around the Park Drive on my trusty (though in need of major repairs) Schwinn. And you know how I'm gonna accomplish all this? It's easy. Just view the glass as half full. That's all it takes!
