offensive

ok... im Arakuu... Jarett is my friend and the other guy is someone my friend knows... i was just messing with him (me and my friend always joke about sexual stuff, to scare people, and i went far and lold, i dont mean any of this, duh, sorry if it offends anyone..." oh, he had a light limegreen...

Greetings, pissants. We're going to play a little game that pays homage to the "greatest joke ever told," the Aristocrats joke. As some of you may have seen with the recent documentary release, the Aristocrats joke is a joke/game that comedians play with each other that, until recently, wasn't...

Could somebody translate this for me? It's in a Tom Clancy novel (The Bear and the Dragon) and while it is described as "Best said to somebody while you already have a gun pointed at them" an english translation isnt given. With that, it may be offensive, but I'm just curious. I've tried Google...