Am I foolish or something?

O

OniTatsujin

Dragon of Wrath
Adventurer
Joined
Jul 31, 2004
Messages
1,488
Location
Norg, my NEW hometown...i wish...
I just.. need to vent or something, but... this is a little story for all of you.

About 5 months ago, I met this girl. We talked for hours, and then we started to date. She was just great, and we just fell in love. We kept it going for 3-4 months. We really liked each other. However, at the 3-4 month line, she decieved me. But she asked for forgiveness, and I forgave. I thought everything was good, but the following day, she dumped me. Said she needed time alone, and left. She didn't come into contact for about 2 weeks. Then she came back after the 2 weeks, and asked to get back together, I took her back...

Well, through the week, I find out she started having feelings for my friend, who we will call K, and he liked her. When I found out, she decided to keep with the relationship. However, one night me and her faught. K was there, it was an unexpected fight. My friend, who we will call T, was there too. But I stormed off from the arguement, and T chased after me. She said to K, that she still had feelings for him, and he did too. They kissed and the whole nine yards. I didn't know about that till later. So me and her patch things up, and I was a bit happier, but then I find out that her and K did what not, and I just couldn't trust her at that moment. So I dumped her, and said I need to be alone to think. She kept coming back trying to get me back. I refused.

Soo.... she jumped on my friend K, they start dating. Me and her get into an arguement again, something stupid. I tried to be her friend, but it wasn't working, she didn't help. My friend K, told me to go fuck off and leave them alone. That hurt. I helped K with so much crap... then he just did that... He could have tried to make peace, but he'd rather just take her side of things. However, a week or so later. I hear from my friend, who we will call Z, that she is going to break up with him. I asked why, she said because she truly loves me.

At that moment, I still did love her, Don't know why, I just did. So when she did, me and her talked. She agreed to making this work. She said she loved me. That soon fell short. The whole week we went back together, she treated me like shit. Then last night, her and Z talked. Both admitted they liked each other. Z already has a girlfriend, but he's going to dump her for my now ex. My now ex, tried to dump me for a different reason, she didn't know I knew of her and Z. I told her I knew, and she got pissed off. So now her and Z are going to be together.

Am I foolish? To even think she wouldn't hurt me again?
It's just painful... 2 friends backstab you, and her backstab you 2 to 3 times. After last night, I wanted to be her friend, but she just turned a cold shoulder on me, and so i'm just going to say fuck it. She treated me like shit, then hurt me like that. I'm done.

Here's a twist to this story though:
A month ago, I had a crazy weird random dream where, her and Z both admit they liked each other. Z dumped his girlfriend, and she dumped me. So the 2 can go out. However, later on, she dumps Z. Unknown reason. I told Z this dream a month ago, when I had it. I've had so many crazy weird random dreams before, that came true too. Will this one come true? I have no clue, but if it does, i'm just going to laugh.

So there... I'm sitting here, angry, and a bit upset. But mostly just angry, both at her, and myself. Her for treating me like shit, and I doubt this week she "loved" me. And angry at myself for trusting her again. I've been backstabbed before, and I didn't trust people for awhile, then I started trusting again, and this happens. I'm done trusting people.

But the question still remains, am I foolish?

I think so.
 
Hon - don't feel foolish.

*You are still in high school, if I remember correctly....right? In highschool and college, people are really still figuring out who they are, and relationships...well, they are "beginner" relationships. *NOT to put them down - they are important because they teach you a lot. But there is always going to be a lot of confusion....and unfortunately, broken hearts. :evil: <3 Goes with the territory.

Do not feel badly for being a trusting person who wanted your relationship to work. There will be many other girls who you will fall for - and some will turn out crazy, and some will mistreat you (and some you will mistreat) and one day, you will find the one. :)

Keep your chin up, you are a sweetie. <3
 
Oni - all I have to say is KICK that BISH TO THE CURB. Think about it my friend.. she went from K to Z while still draggin you along... sounds familiar :roll: and that's just wrong . Honestly, do you think she is worth the time, emotion, and energy? If she truely "loves" you, then why would she put you through this torment? Is she stupid to think you will just sit there and continue being her lifeboat? There are a lot of other women out there that will give you the attention and love you truely deserve. I know it's hard, but think with your brain and not with your heart right now.

I agree with Jen that yes this could be a time in her life filled with confusion, but remember you have a choice and that is to get rid of that negative factor, especially one that has the audacity to move from one friend to another.... /fume.
 
Yeah - I am sure she is confused and all - but Jaz is right....still kick her ass to the curb. Just because highschool is hard, doesn't mean you need stick with someone who makes you feel bad. Screw that. Life is short - you don't have to surround yourself with people that make you miserable. Take it from someone who has put up with far more jackasses than I care to remember. ;)

I was just trying to say - DO NOT beat yourself up over someone else being an ass....you will meet a lot of them. <3
 
Ehh it is always easy to say someone is foolish when you are looking in from the outside and have no emotional attachment to anything or anyone in the situation. All I can say is that it sounds way too dramatic for my tastes. I like things to be pretty simple. I won't answer any questions for you but I'll just jot down a couple of questions with yes or no answers.

Would a friend screw around with your girl? Yes/No
Would your girl, if she loved you, mess around with your friend? Yes/No
If someone betrays you once, is it likely they could do it again? Yes/No

Now you can be brave/stupid (depends whom you ask) and not be cautious with your heart but you'd be a braver/stupider man than I. :D

Goodluck!
 
jazper said:
Oni - all I have to say is KICK that BISH TO THE CURB. Think about it my friend.. she went from K to Z while still draggin you along... sounds familiar :roll: and that's just wrong . Honestly, do you think she is worth the time, emotion, and energy? If she truely "loves" you, then why would she put you through this torment? Is she stupid to think you will just sit there and continue being her lifeboat? There are a lot of other women out there that will give you the attention and love you truely deserve. I know it's hard, but think with your brain and not with your heart right now.

I agree with Jen that yes this could be a time in her life filled with confusion, but remember you have a choice and that is to get rid of that negative factor, especially one that has the audacity to move from one friend to another.... /fume.
Click to expand...

Ditto

She is just using you because you are being a doormat. You keep taking her back after she treats you like shit, so when you do taker her back again she respects you even less. I have been in this situation before and my advice to you is cut your losses and tell her to go screw herself. She is bad news for you and trying to keep a romantic relationship, or even a friendship with her is just going to drag you down and mess with your head. Is it going to hurt... yes. But things will get better in the long run and you will have learned a valuable lesson, once a girlfriend cheats on you with a friend of yours dump her ass and break off all contact for good.
 
Well, I sorta won a bit now. I talked to Z, and he's staying with the girl he has now. He doesn't feel like doing that to her. Despite how he feels for my now ex. From messages she's sent him, and he's let me read. It sounds as though she is just using me, and also K, so she wouldnt' be alone. She said to him, "I gave up everything to be with you! Then you back out! I need you! I have no one left!" Z, replied with: "Oh so, you don't need to love me really, because I'm the only one that will take you." She replied with, "No, I have Jin and K by my side."
That message... was actually quite funny to read. She thought I would take her back after all this shit. :D Nope. Z, doesn't want a part of it either. However, my friend K, is just being severely stupid right now. He wants a chance with her.. but that's how he is, he hates being alone too. So.. yeah.. people are just messed in the head. She -did- have me, until she blew it and tried to leave me for another of my friends. So yeah, i'm totally done with her.
 
You did the right thing man, congratulations.

I know this may sound like an ass thing to say, but I hope she realizes what an idiot she is for doing all this. After she kept trying to get with your friends and all the fighting you still wanted to get back together with her and even be friends with her and she pulls this crap..... she's lucky to even be around you at all. It may seem like crap right now, but when you look at this later, she's just going to be know as a bitch and your going to leave this relationship smelling like roses.

As for your friends, I dont know enough about them to say much but im not at all that surprised. Guys are dogs and if they know that you were willing to take her back and stuff, maybe they thought she was good enough to ruin a friendship over. its a real slimy thing to do, but how well do you know these friends of yours....
 
Oni- I'm glad you and your friend Z were hit with barblindga :wink: . Keep that chin up coz there are other MUCH BETTER fish in the sea and this girl is just an anchovy :x . Guys can be so stupid at times coz they think with the wrong head or open themselves up too early. You're a good guy so if K is really a friend, the best thing you can do for him is just be there when he falls. Some guys need to learn the hard way I guess. and it looks like your friend K is past the point where anything you say to him would just be negative reinforcement. Now don't get me wrong, DON'T FOCUS on their situation.. just keep him in the back of your mind while YOU move on to better and brighter things. :D
 
I say its your turn to do the backstabbing. (If you can), try to get the girl alone while she and "Z" are still dating. Put the moves on her, tap that shit, then walk out of her life. Oh, and brag to "Z" about it too. "Z" and the girl will now probably break up, and "Z" will accuse you of backstabbing, but he'll also be pissed at the girl so they break up. That way this bitch is out of you and your friends lives, and you'll all have backstabbed eachother. When you've ALL done something to hurt eachother, its much easier to become friends again.

Overall, I think you, "K", and "Z" need to get her out of your lives. She's a crazy whench and needs to be bum rushed by a big hairy man.


EDIT: Well, apparently I should have read EVERYTHING before making a post. Guess you figured it out after all and remained friends with your buds. I still think my way would have been better though, especially the bum rush from the hairy guy. Me laugh.
 
jender said:
*You are still in high school, if I remember correctly....right? In highschool and college, people are really still figuring out who they are, and relationships...well, they are "beginner" relationships. *NOT to put them down - they are important because they teach you a lot. But there is always going to be a lot of confusion....and unfortunately, broken hearts. :evil: <3 Goes with the territory.

Do not feel badly for being a trusting person who wanted your relationship to work. There will be many other girls who you will fall for - and some will turn out crazy, and some will mistreat you (and some you will mistreat) and one day, you will find the one. :)
Click to expand...

So true.
 
Gr.. the worst thing is though, she's not even caring for what she did. Niether is Z, he still hangs out with her. I'm still doubting the situation. I don't know.. It's just sad how she used to be a nice person, now she really doesn't care if she hurt me, or if she hurt Z's g/f. Z's g/f after all was her friend...
 
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