E
EllySeiko
Guest
I don't honestly know how many of you go to starbucks on anything close to a regular basis. but i hope that there are some who read this who do, or know people who do, and will try to pass this info on to those who need it.
I got to work yesterday at my local starbucks at 615 AM. i'm not gonna bitch about how early that is, for 2 reasons: 1) it wasn't 5AM which is the opening shift, and i have 2 of those coming this week TT_TT and 2) i'm sure there are ppl who get up earlier than 430, or get up at 430 daily, so i probably have nothing to complain about. Anyways, throughout the day (which wasn't really so bad, i guess) i kept making mental notes of things customers did that were rude, or downright mean!
list time!
1) throwing your money on the counter: we aren't whores, ya know... we may be part of the "service" industry, but we aren't slaves, so don't treat us like we're less than you because we're getting your coffee for you. in fact, since you clearly don't want to get it yourself, you should be thanking us, as well as we're thanking you for your patronage. so, be kind, and hand us your money in a civil and polite way.
2) getting angry in line: dude. it's 630 on a friday morning, it's business rush hour, and you aren't the only one in this starbucks who doesn't want to stand in line. if you can't deal with it, then learn to leave your house 5 minutes earlier, or DON'T COME TO STARBUCKS! if you storm into our store in your suit, and spend the 5 minutes you have to wait in line staring at your watch, changing your weight from foot to foot while huffing and puffing or mumbling "come on!" under your breath, you may very well end up getting slow service from one of the more subversive and vengeful baristas.... like myself. however i'm also an actor, and will put my lack of vim and vigor up as the necessity to do it correctly! so not only will i be fucking with you, you won't know!
3) paying with anything over a $20 bill before lunch: dude. fuck you. you can't walk in at 7 AM, and throw down your hundred (see number one, you inconsiderate prick) muttering some half-hearted comment about "sorry, that's the smallest i have", and order a grande pike's place (for a whopping total of $1.86). you were downright LUCKY AS FUCK that i happened to have 4 $20's in my drawer to make your stupid $98.14 in change. otherwise you would have not only received 30 or so dollars in singles, but you would have cleaned out my drawer and ruined the mornings of everybody i couldn't make change for because i had none, until my boss set the time delayed safe, and got me change from it. like i said, fuck you!
4) if you walk into my store, i will be all smiles and personality to you. would it KILL you to be happy for once?: if you walk into my store when you're the only person in there, and then literally tell me to "just take the money and give me my coffee" when i start to say something that vaguely resembles conversation, then you are lucky i don't give you the box cutter to go with it. seriously, woman! grow a personality! i said "have you seen [such and such movie]" and she responded with the aforementioned curt snarl. wtf did i do to you lady!?
5) repeatedly telling me how necessary it is for your coffee drink to be decaf or sugar free. i heard you the first time, it's written on the cup, DROP IT! i UNDERSTAND you are diabetic or have a heart condition, because you've said it THREE TIMES!!! jeezus, would it kill you to have a little faith in my ability to do my job? if you've been given the wrong thing before, i'm sorry, but it wasn't me so don't treat me like it was!
6) ordering one thing and telling the person making it a different story: if you order a latte, and then walk over to the hand off counter (where we hand you your drinks, we have funny little PC terms for everything lolz) and then ask the barista "oh, you know, can you put any of those syrupy things in the latte?" like you don't already know, you're cute but fuck you. you may end up swindling starbucks out of 40 cents or so, but i think Corporate can handle that. all you've really done is make yourself look like a sneaky deceitful bitch to the people doing honest work.
look, all i'm saying is that we need some respect too. We have to deal with all of these problems hundreds of customers per day. when you walk into my store, i will almost always greet you with a smile, and a "Hi, what can we get for you today!". would it be so much effort to say "Hi, i'd like ----" in a cheerful tone? or if you're not having a good day, i've consoled customers as well! just don't take anything out on us! We're here to serve you coffee, not let you treat us like dirt. just because i work at starbucks, and ergo am clearly not the corporate macho man that wants his dry cappuccino at 140 degrees, with 6 and a half pumps of toffee nut syrup, soy and 2 extra shots of espresso, but i'm also only 18, and in college, so pardon me if i haven't made it to the top of the money chain yet!
ok, gotta add one to the list
7) don't assume we are gonna just be able to listen to your order once and get it down: boy, do we try our damnedest to do so, but if you have every box on the cup filled, and some more than once, you need to bear with me if i ask you for your order again. and also, if it's a complicated drink, wait for me to finish one cup before you start another, if it's a simple drink, please just go on. the more complicated the drink, the more time i have to dedicate to... parsing it, if you will. i have to translate the gobbledy++++ (w00t i spelled it right, the first time, and spell check agrees!!!) you just gave me of fritalian word vomit, and translate into what we know, so that you don't come back to us later and bitch about your incorrect drink (i'mma gonna add another to the list
) we're trying, but you know what? we're not machines! we have minds just as flawed as yours, so gimme a second to make sense out of the disordered blathering you want me to make into a drink.
8) omg, we're human! O_O say it aint so!!!: dude, if we fuck up. we're sorry. but don't get pissy with me! chances are if you are polite and say, "oh this was supposed to be ---" we'll not only make it for you again, we'll give you a "recovery certificate", which is one of those little slips that gets you a free drink, whatever you want, one time use! but if you come over bitching about, "this isn't what i ordered!" then fuck off, and make it yourself!
9) be VERY VERY CAREFUL when picking up your drink, make sure IT'S YOURS!!!: i can't tell you how many drinks i've had to remake because somebody picked up the wrong one and left before making sure. dude, if your in a hurry, wouldn't it be better for you to take 2 SECONDS and make sure that's the right drink, rather than getting half way to work and finding you've gotten a double tall *dirty chai*, instead of a double tall *raspberry mocha*? dude, if you don't absolutely LOVE dirty chai, you are going to ruin your day with your first sip of that thing. (personally, i don't like chai OR espresso, so combining them is like... the rape and massacre of the village of tastebuds) if you start to sip something expecting a flavor like hot version of raspberry chocolate chip ice cream, and get really strong spiced tea combined with espresso, your day will be epic fail. it's like a curse really.
would it KILL y'all to just be good nice people to your baristas? please? we're friendly ppl, and those people that ARE nice usually are the ones we have relationships with outside of starbucks too! i met a really nice woman who's taking piano with the dean of my college, and she gave me her business card because we were talking about brahms when she came in, and she was just so excited that i was a musician from the school where her teacher is dean that she offered to accompany me if i ever needed her! DUDE! do any of you know how hard it is to find a good accompanist when you need one at a music school? by the time you need one, EVERYBODY needs one. now i have one that NOBODY else at my school knows! she's MINE! mwahahahah!!! [cough...] sorry. but seriously! be nice, we're nice, it doesn't hurt! i promise!
i'll leave you with a description of this little old lady who is IMHO the greatest customer i've ever met. She comes in usually every day, mid-afternoon ish. and orders the same thing every time. she might get a larger one on a particularly cold day, but usually it's a decaf tall nonfat with whip peppermint mocha. she's adorable, and polite, and sweet, and knows us all by name, and we know her by name. she's always asking how school is, or asking our manager how her dogs are (my manager has 2 show dogs, both irish wolfhounds O_O BIGBIGBIG puppies) and she deserves a friggen award for being the greatest starbucks customer EVER!
so there, be like her. you should come visit me in my starbucks and observe her, to learn how a good starbucks customer should act.
to all of you who are already good starbucks customers, thank you very much. i appreciate your kindness, cuz as much as we smile, being there from 5 in the morning till 230 sucks bigger balls than pee wee herman and Miros' illigitimate man-children.
fo' sho'
(<3 miros: you're just who i thought of when i was thinking of who to make fun of for sucking balls... i'm not really sure why... but [shrug] if the condom fits!)
I got to work yesterday at my local starbucks at 615 AM. i'm not gonna bitch about how early that is, for 2 reasons: 1) it wasn't 5AM which is the opening shift, and i have 2 of those coming this week TT_TT and 2) i'm sure there are ppl who get up earlier than 430, or get up at 430 daily, so i probably have nothing to complain about. Anyways, throughout the day (which wasn't really so bad, i guess) i kept making mental notes of things customers did that were rude, or downright mean!
list time!
1) throwing your money on the counter: we aren't whores, ya know... we may be part of the "service" industry, but we aren't slaves, so don't treat us like we're less than you because we're getting your coffee for you. in fact, since you clearly don't want to get it yourself, you should be thanking us, as well as we're thanking you for your patronage. so, be kind, and hand us your money in a civil and polite way.
2) getting angry in line: dude. it's 630 on a friday morning, it's business rush hour, and you aren't the only one in this starbucks who doesn't want to stand in line. if you can't deal with it, then learn to leave your house 5 minutes earlier, or DON'T COME TO STARBUCKS! if you storm into our store in your suit, and spend the 5 minutes you have to wait in line staring at your watch, changing your weight from foot to foot while huffing and puffing or mumbling "come on!" under your breath, you may very well end up getting slow service from one of the more subversive and vengeful baristas.... like myself. however i'm also an actor, and will put my lack of vim and vigor up as the necessity to do it correctly! so not only will i be fucking with you, you won't know!
3) paying with anything over a $20 bill before lunch: dude. fuck you. you can't walk in at 7 AM, and throw down your hundred (see number one, you inconsiderate prick) muttering some half-hearted comment about "sorry, that's the smallest i have", and order a grande pike's place (for a whopping total of $1.86). you were downright LUCKY AS FUCK that i happened to have 4 $20's in my drawer to make your stupid $98.14 in change. otherwise you would have not only received 30 or so dollars in singles, but you would have cleaned out my drawer and ruined the mornings of everybody i couldn't make change for because i had none, until my boss set the time delayed safe, and got me change from it. like i said, fuck you!
4) if you walk into my store, i will be all smiles and personality to you. would it KILL you to be happy for once?: if you walk into my store when you're the only person in there, and then literally tell me to "just take the money and give me my coffee" when i start to say something that vaguely resembles conversation, then you are lucky i don't give you the box cutter to go with it. seriously, woman! grow a personality! i said "have you seen [such and such movie]" and she responded with the aforementioned curt snarl. wtf did i do to you lady!?
5) repeatedly telling me how necessary it is for your coffee drink to be decaf or sugar free. i heard you the first time, it's written on the cup, DROP IT! i UNDERSTAND you are diabetic or have a heart condition, because you've said it THREE TIMES!!! jeezus, would it kill you to have a little faith in my ability to do my job? if you've been given the wrong thing before, i'm sorry, but it wasn't me so don't treat me like it was!
6) ordering one thing and telling the person making it a different story: if you order a latte, and then walk over to the hand off counter (where we hand you your drinks, we have funny little PC terms for everything lolz) and then ask the barista "oh, you know, can you put any of those syrupy things in the latte?" like you don't already know, you're cute but fuck you. you may end up swindling starbucks out of 40 cents or so, but i think Corporate can handle that. all you've really done is make yourself look like a sneaky deceitful bitch to the people doing honest work.
look, all i'm saying is that we need some respect too. We have to deal with all of these problems hundreds of customers per day. when you walk into my store, i will almost always greet you with a smile, and a "Hi, what can we get for you today!". would it be so much effort to say "Hi, i'd like ----" in a cheerful tone? or if you're not having a good day, i've consoled customers as well! just don't take anything out on us! We're here to serve you coffee, not let you treat us like dirt. just because i work at starbucks, and ergo am clearly not the corporate macho man that wants his dry cappuccino at 140 degrees, with 6 and a half pumps of toffee nut syrup, soy and 2 extra shots of espresso, but i'm also only 18, and in college, so pardon me if i haven't made it to the top of the money chain yet!
ok, gotta add one to the list
7) don't assume we are gonna just be able to listen to your order once and get it down: boy, do we try our damnedest to do so, but if you have every box on the cup filled, and some more than once, you need to bear with me if i ask you for your order again. and also, if it's a complicated drink, wait for me to finish one cup before you start another, if it's a simple drink, please just go on. the more complicated the drink, the more time i have to dedicate to... parsing it, if you will. i have to translate the gobbledy++++ (w00t i spelled it right, the first time, and spell check agrees!!!) you just gave me of fritalian word vomit, and translate into what we know, so that you don't come back to us later and bitch about your incorrect drink (i'mma gonna add another to the list
) we're trying, but you know what? we're not machines! we have minds just as flawed as yours, so gimme a second to make sense out of the disordered blathering you want me to make into a drink.8) omg, we're human! O_O say it aint so!!!: dude, if we fuck up. we're sorry. but don't get pissy with me! chances are if you are polite and say, "oh this was supposed to be ---" we'll not only make it for you again, we'll give you a "recovery certificate", which is one of those little slips that gets you a free drink, whatever you want, one time use! but if you come over bitching about, "this isn't what i ordered!" then fuck off, and make it yourself!
9) be VERY VERY CAREFUL when picking up your drink, make sure IT'S YOURS!!!: i can't tell you how many drinks i've had to remake because somebody picked up the wrong one and left before making sure. dude, if your in a hurry, wouldn't it be better for you to take 2 SECONDS and make sure that's the right drink, rather than getting half way to work and finding you've gotten a double tall *dirty chai*, instead of a double tall *raspberry mocha*? dude, if you don't absolutely LOVE dirty chai, you are going to ruin your day with your first sip of that thing. (personally, i don't like chai OR espresso, so combining them is like... the rape and massacre of the village of tastebuds) if you start to sip something expecting a flavor like hot version of raspberry chocolate chip ice cream, and get really strong spiced tea combined with espresso, your day will be epic fail. it's like a curse really.
would it KILL y'all to just be good nice people to your baristas? please? we're friendly ppl, and those people that ARE nice usually are the ones we have relationships with outside of starbucks too! i met a really nice woman who's taking piano with the dean of my college, and she gave me her business card because we were talking about brahms when she came in, and she was just so excited that i was a musician from the school where her teacher is dean that she offered to accompany me if i ever needed her! DUDE! do any of you know how hard it is to find a good accompanist when you need one at a music school? by the time you need one, EVERYBODY needs one. now i have one that NOBODY else at my school knows! she's MINE! mwahahahah!!! [cough...] sorry. but seriously! be nice, we're nice, it doesn't hurt! i promise!
i'll leave you with a description of this little old lady who is IMHO the greatest customer i've ever met. She comes in usually every day, mid-afternoon ish. and orders the same thing every time. she might get a larger one on a particularly cold day, but usually it's a decaf tall nonfat with whip peppermint mocha. she's adorable, and polite, and sweet, and knows us all by name, and we know her by name. she's always asking how school is, or asking our manager how her dogs are (my manager has 2 show dogs, both irish wolfhounds O_O BIGBIGBIG puppies) and she deserves a friggen award for being the greatest starbucks customer EVER!
so there, be like her. you should come visit me in my starbucks and observe her, to learn how a good starbucks customer should act.
to all of you who are already good starbucks customers, thank you very much. i appreciate your kindness, cuz as much as we smile, being there from 5 in the morning till 230 sucks bigger balls than pee wee herman and Miros' illigitimate man-children.
fo' sho'
(<3 miros: you're just who i thought of when i was thinking of who to make fun of for sucking balls... i'm not really sure why... but [shrug] if the condom fits!)
Now we could kick people out there but if that person decided to call the Main Office then its your job in their hands a situation none of us wanted to be in. 
