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Burne

Limit Breaker
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Mar 18, 2005
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Sorry if I go off topic im just really emotional atm and just want to get some stuff out

Havent really written in here before... but I thought I would just give it a try. Anyway recently I have been hanging with the "wrong" kind of ppl and having alot of fun meeting new ppl and hanging with old friends. Well I start talking to this one girl and we have been sorta together for the past few months (the reason why I say together is because to me we are together).

Pretty much we start dating and hanging out everyday and I meet her parents a few times and we have always just been talked about as friends. Pretty much we were friends with... well... yeah...... and it seemed we both wanted to be more than just friends. After awhile I noticed that she didnt really want to be seen in public with me b/c of what her family would think. At first I thought we could get thru this but it turned out her parents were really against her being with someone who isnt her race and would cut her off financially if they found out. Pretty much I told her I wanted to be friends even though I cared for her so much, I didnt want her life to be ruined b/c of me.

its now 5:00 a.m. and I just left her house. I was there just hanging out and we talked and flirted like we always do and she knew how I felt about her but she pretty much starts having fun with a guy right infront of me. The really didnt do anything but she knew it was going to piss me off. Since I was the one who pretty much ended it, she seemed a little pissed at me even though we discussed that me and her just couldnt be. I was so upset that I just left and really dont want to be involved with this whole mess anymore. I know for a fact that we would have been really good for each other if it wasnt for her parents. However, It sucks really bad and hurts that I cant be with someone I care about just because of something as stupid as race.....

Pretty much im tired of having my heart broken and Im thinking F'ck the world right now. Ive lost. Ill just exclusively date ppl of my own race so I dont have to deal with this stupid crap. Guess as long as everyone else is happy then I shouldnt be :roll:
 
Wow, that's horrible.:cry: What a mess. You should try writing an impassioned letter to her parents imploring them to hear your case and explain the ignorance and archaic thinking behind their beliefs. List organizations that think race matters (Ku Klux Klan, American Nazi Party, Skinheads) and then maybe organizations that don't (Red Cross, Peace Corps, Goodwill), and ask them which side they want to be on. Ask them why they have a problem with people who have a high melanin count (or a low count if you're caucasian), emphasizing that it's merely a chemical difference. Ask them if they really want their daughter to grow up hating 95% of the world because of their beliefs. I don't know what else to do but that's what I believe I would do. Good luck man.:?
 
I've been through it man. I am tri-racial if we are taking a census. :P I am Black/White/Indian and all in all a decent guy. I was seeing this girl Mary for a while (couple weeks) and I'll never forget the time I picked her up and met her mom for the first time. Long story short she ended up say "I know how you people are." There wasn't much to say to that. In the end Mary chose her relationship with her parents over me. I could understand that. Now I am sorry to say this but it is very difficult, almost impossible to stay friends with someone once you allow your emotions to cross a certain point. Things are rarely ever able to "go back to the way they use to be." Typically they just end up with both people hating each other over some petty stuff. The fact that she would mess around with another guy infront of you shows me that she isn't worth your time. There was no respect there of your feelings. If you are unable to stop looking at her as a potential girlfriend then you will never really be able to be an impartial friend to her.

As for dealing with people who are racist I am conflicted. To meet people who hate me and don't even know me based on something as asinine as that enrages me but I feel for me to react negativly (violent, argumentative, ect) to people who have these negative preconseptions would only serve to reinforce those notions. My basic rule of thumb in all situations is to try to take the high road (kill them with kindness) unless I am ever made to feel as though I can't turn my back on them. Goodluck man.

Cliffnotes: She isn't worth it, hang tough, and don't become part of the problem. Limiting yourself to only women of your race based off of one bad experience is heading down that line of thinking that can almost justify the racism that you just experienced. Besides even if you limit yourself to women of your own race you'll have a ton of bad experiences anyways and you'll end up some celibit monk. Now we wouldn't want that now would we? :twisted:
 
Not sure what to say :(

I can ask you this though to make you think about it. What if you truely loved someone would it matter to you what your parents thought? I mean of course it would, but would it stop you from being with the person you love?

I guess it depends on a persons point of view, but for me, it wouldn't matter. I'm not gonna marry my parents...............

But as always with girls there is a huge difference. I've been with 2 girls that claimed they couldn't continue to be with me because I wasn't christian. I went to church, but because I wasn't christian her parents wouldn't approve. I can tell they still like me because they try real hard to "convert" me, but anyway I simply wont "convert" because I want to be with someone. I like to do things for the "right" reasons..... anyway.

But you should keep being friends, don't burn bridges where you don't need to. :wink:
 
If it's love then potentially telling your parents to deal or shove it is acceptable but honestly this sounds more like a I like her a lot than a love. Even if it is a love it would require both parties be in love. Case in point would be my mother. She was disowned by her family because she married my father. :P
 
We have talked a whole lot since this has happened and right now im just going to sit back and see how things are going. On the part about me being in love or not, I dont think I can imagine life w/o her (even as a friend or bf it doesnt matter to much). All i know is that she feels horrible about everything. I really still dont know what to do.... but thanks for your replies and ideas
 
Im not being rude, I just think alittle info needs to be added like your age. I know it sounds stupid but to give advice some of us whould like to know what kind of situation we (you) are dealing with here.
 
im 21, so add alcohol and such to this, she told me tonight that she doesnt think she could see me anymore b/c she doesnt trust herself and it would be better for me to just forget about her. dont really know what to do but to be honest, I somewhat dont care now.
 
Well judging by what you've said Im gonna go with your being played IMHO.

I've seen this: She likes you blah blah blah you guys have a great relationship (behind closed doors). But in public she starts to flirt in front of you to get a reaction, and she does. All this does is boost her confidence. Now she knows you will be her "botty call" or just plan put up with her shit. No body need this kind of crap there are other women out there. Move on your better than that.
 
this is crazy now.... I know I should probably avoid this rollercoaster relationship, but I keep getting sucked back in. We talked for about 4 hrs yesterday and right now things couldnt be too much better. We both know the chances of this relationship lasting long is slim but we have to try. I'll keep you updated. Thanks for the replies
 
Parents can really make life a living hell. You may love someone, but if you aren't capable of moving out and living with that person or being out on your own, parents can really get in the way of mental health sometimes. I know this because when I was 18 I was dating a guy, we ended up getting engaged, but my parents really didn't like him at all. They made it very well known and made my life a miserable hell hole. I ended up breaking up with him because I couldn't take it anymore. Stupid choice, he really was and still is to this day, the love of my life. So just, don't blame her too much for being emotionally torn.
 
Thanks for that response ^^

We both have our own apartments with roommates but her parents help her with her car and tuition so thats the main problem. That and I dont want to see her in this kind of pain b/c of her parents.

O well... everything is ok right now ^^
 
Burne said:
Thanks for that response ^^

We both have our own apartments with roommates but her parents help her with her car and tuition so thats the main problem. That and I dont want to see her in this kind of pain b/c of her parents.

O well... everything is ok right now ^^
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Then while she's in school what her parents don't know don't hurt her man :p C'mon DOOOOOOO IT! When she's out of school working on her own she wont need to explain jack. She should be her own woman with her own mind. If she can't be that...you don't want her trust me X_x they get bad later on.
 
*Bump* Sorry but just wanted to finish this off instead of making a new one

Well its pretty much over and now we are working on just being friends. At first I was feeling pretty shitty but hid it from her b/c I know that it would hurt her. Pretty much I got rejected but I dont feel bad about it at all know. She's had such a positive impact on me and the way I think about things now that it has kinda had a reverse effect on me. Ive never felt as alive as I do know. Its really strange and really weird. The only thing thats going to suck when I have to see her with some pos of a boyfriend and have to play nice. Thats probably the only thing that can upset me know. O well time will tell and its not the end of the world.
 
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