Chain Letters

[jender]

Subject: Chain Letters

I want to thank all my friends and family, Thank you for making me safe,
secure, blessed, and wealthy by sending me your darn chain letters
over the last year.

Because of your concern:

* I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

* I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

* I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from
the rat feces and urine.

* I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes
cancer.

* I no longer go to movies because I could sit on a needle infected
with AIDS.

* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

* I no longer want to pump my own gas - where I will either get AIDS
or cause an explosion by cell phone or static.

* I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a
wet dog on a hot day.

* I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are
actually Al Qaida in disguise.

* I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support
our American troops.

* I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to
Uganda or Singapore.

* I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they
contain could turn me gay, if I am straight, or straight if I am gay. Go
Figure?

* I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

* I no longer look at the opposite sex because they will take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bath tub full of ice.

* I no longer have a cell phone because I don't want brain cancer.

* I no longer have any sneakers because I would hate to see all those
poor kids in the sweat shops overseas suffering because I wanted a pair of
Nike shoes.

* I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.

* I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me.

* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl about
to die in the hospital for the 1,000,000,000th time.

* I no longer have any money but that will change once I receive the
$18,624 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me since I participated in their
special e-mail program.

I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!!

Now if you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 2,000,000 of your
closest friends in the next 60 seconds a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at exactly 5:00 pm tomorrow!

 

[Sabia]

Jender...You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the large bird with diarrhea that crapped on my new car yesterday would you? :shock:

 

[jender]

Jender...You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the large bird with diarrhea that crapped on my new car yesterday would you? :shock:

Heheheeheheh :twisted: Was alllll part of my evil plan....to cover the world in bird poo - AND RULE ALL!!! MOOOOWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA

 

[Sabia]

You just may succeed if you can find more freakin birds with that much crap contained in such a small body. I mean come on! It looked....yeah I don't I'll finish this sentance.... :evil:

 

[Sneakypants]

:shock:
OMG this is hilarious!!!!!!!!


Speaking of um, shit...Off topic, but hey we're talking diarrhea so I figure I'm ok.
Rabid can attest to this...

We have this friend, Josh, and he's a very special boy.
We also have another friend, Jeremy (the PUTO), who is also a very special boy.

Well one time Jeremy was upset with Josh and took human feces and "wrote" a question mark on Josh's car's windshield. Since then, we have referred to him as the Shittler.

 

[jender]

:shock:
OMG this is hilarious!!!!!!!!


Speaking of um, shit...Off topic, but hey we're talking diarrhea so I figure I'm ok.
Rabid can attest to this...

We have this friend, Josh, and he's a very special boy.
We also have another friend, Jeremy (the PUTO), who is also a very special boy.

Well one time Jeremy was upset with Josh and took human feces and "wrote" a question mark on Josh's car's windshield. Since then, we have referred to him as the Shittler.

:shock: :shock: :shock:
/em wonders if she could ever be upset enough with someone, to play around with feces.....

/em sincerely doubts this....

 

[Sneakypants]

I think he grabbed it with a big leaf. LOL

There was another time where we had a ziplock freezer bag labeled, "Contents: Poop", and someone started chewing on the bag thinking it would be funny. I admit, I was laughing. But I was laughing harder when we noticed the little holes in the bag after he was done chewing.

EWWWWWW!!!!

"He called the shit poop!"

 

[Ecks]

Subject: Chain Letters

I want to thank all my friends and family, Thank you for making me safe,
secure, blessed, and wealthy by sending me your darn chain letters
over the last year.

Because of your concern:

* I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

* I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

* I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from
the rat feces and urine.

* I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes
cancer.

* I no longer go to movies because I could sit on a needle infected
with AIDS.

* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

* I no longer want to pump my own gas - where I will either get AIDS
or cause an explosion by cell phone or static.

* I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a
wet dog on a hot day.

* I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are
actually Al Qaida in disguise.

* I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support
our American troops.

* I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to
Uganda or Singapore.

* I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they
contain could turn me gay, if I am straight, or straight if I am gay. Go
Figure?

* I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

* I no longer look at the opposite sex because they will take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bath tub full of ice.

* I no longer have a cell phone because I don't want brain cancer.

* I no longer have any sneakers because I would hate to see all those
poor kids in the sweat shops overseas suffering because I wanted a pair of
Nike shoes.

* I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.

* I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me.

* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl about
to die in the hospital for the 1,000,000,000th time.

* I no longer have any money but that will change once I receive the
$18,624 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me since I participated in their
special e-mail program.

I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!!

Now if you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 2,000,000 of your
closest friends in the next 60 seconds a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at exactly 5:00 pm tomorrow!

Woot, score one for the Pepsi and Dr. Pepper guys! *guzzles his Dr. Pepper* I knew there was a reason I liked these sodas, now I know it's not just because of the great taste!

 

[rabidsquirrel]

I think he grabbed it with a big leaf. LOL

There was another time where we had a ziplock freezer bag labeled, "Contents: Poop", and someone started chewing on the bag thinking it would be funny. I admit, I was laughing. But I was laughing harder when we noticed the little holes in the bag after he was done chewing.

EWWWWWW!!!!

"He called the shit poop!"

Hahaha poor Jim was never the same after the "poop" incident. What makes it even more funny is that the guy chewing on the bag has a poop phobia now.

 

[Sneakypants]

Hahaha poor Jim was never the same after the "poop" incident. What makes it even more funny is that the guy chewing on the bag has a poop phobia now.

Oh sweet irony!
:lol: :lol: