Dating and its suckiness

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Amnathyr

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Basically,on september 30th my best,and only guy friend (blaine)asked me out,and i said yes we went out for 4 wonderful months when some idiots start making fun of Blaine and I on the bus.For that reason,supposedly,He started sitting somewhere else on the bus (before we sat together). And pretty much completely ignoring me. It drove me crazy,wondering why he did that (at the time i didn't know).Then on March 15th Blaine broke up with me over instant messenger.I was sad for a bit, but got over it.Later on i go on his myspace and see this comment from the snobbiest most biotchy girl in the whole school named chelsea saying something like:
"sorry about the breakup lol"
The next day on the bus Blaine and his friend were talking and His friend asks him if he's going to go out with Chelsea.DIRECTLY INFRONT OF ME.Well,she said no and Blaine started dating a girl who sat in front of me on the bus. They broke up and now he's been giving "signals" that he still likes me.Should i go back with him?
 
How old are you? I only ask because of the "bus" drama, and the whole breaking up with you over IM...doesn't sound like a very mature relationship.

Anyway - assuming that you are a preteen/early teen - DO NOT go out with this ass again. Seriously, this is cliche - but there are TONS of fish in the sea, and life is far too short to waste time on guys who don't treat you nicely - OR have the balls to break up with you face to face.

If he asks you out - for the love of GOD, point out everything that he had done to you, and let him know that women/girls do not appreciate to be treated this way.

Maybe he will atleast come out of it learning something...but probably not ;)
 
Yeah, then punch him in the face for being a moron. :D
 
jender said:
How old are you? I only ask because of the "bus" drama, and the whole breaking up with you over IM...doesn't sound like a very mature relationship.

Anyway - assuming that you are a preteen/early teen - DO NOT go out with this ass again. Seriously, this is cliche - but there are TONS of fish in the sea, and life is far too short to waste time on guys who don't treat you nicely - OR have the balls to break up with you face to face.

If he asks you out - for the love of GOD, point out everything that he had done to you, and let him know that women/girls do not appreciate to be treated this way.

Maybe he will atleast come out of it learning something...but probably not ;)
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I totally agree with Jen on this one. There are plenty of other, nicer people out there and (assuming like Jen) because you're young... all the more time to find someone.

If he doesn't have the guts to break up with you face to face, and can't take it if someone teases you guys for some reason,and thinks about dating the "snobbiest: gril in school rather than his best friend... then he's not going to make for the best of boyfriends(especially the second time around). And chances are... if given the opportunity, he'll break up with you again.

Don't worry about this guy, someone else will come along who will know how to treat you well. Good luck with the search. =P
 
jender said:
Maybe he will atleast come out of it learning something...but probably not ;)
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I would agree with this...Particularly the part about him probably not learning anything.

I'd say drop him and just let him want you. :lol:
That'll learn him good.
& if it was meant to be, it can get worked out over time.
Things like dating a best friend aren't to be rushed or forced.

As Jen pointed out he did break up with you on IM :roll:
And he didn't seem to give much thought to dating a best friend...
That's why I say let him simmer in it for a while. If he wants you, force him to prove it. It'll work out for the best if he comes back or not. You can certainly find someone that wants to be with you. It doesn't have to be him.
 
Sneakypants said:
I'd say drop him and just let him want you. :lol:
That'll learn him good.
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so....like playing had to get?

I dunno i mean i feel sorry for him

the other girl he went out with wrote him up for "touching"(note he's a 13 year old guy same age as me although i am 5 months older than him)He got 10 days OSS [out of school suspension]

and those signals were that i was carpooling with him to youth group and he was touching me from the backseat of his minivan
 
Amnathyr said:
Sneakypants said:
I'd say drop him and just let him want you. :lol:
That'll learn him good.
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so....like playing had to get?

I dunno i mean i feel sorry for him

the other girl he went out with wrote him up for "touching"(note he's a 13 year old guy same age as me although i am 5 months older than him)He got 10 days OSS [out of school suspension]

and those signals were that i was carpooling with him to youth group and he was touching me from the backseat of his minivan
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Ummmm....you feel sorry for someone who treated you like shit and left you high and dry for someone he deemed "better" - didn't have the nerve to stand up to his friends abou t his feelings for you, didn't have the nerve to break up with you to your face - and now you feel badly because he got in trouble for "touching" another girl?!?!?! While he is still all about "touching" you in some minivan - even AFTER he dumped you?

Please prioritize girlie.

Have respect for yourself, THEN others will respect you. Feeling sorry for a chump that dissed you is NOT respecting yourself.

You are 13 - this is not the boy you are going to marry anyway - MOVE ON! I mean, at 13 you "go" together, but you don't actually go on dates, right? God, I feel old. ><
 
You REALLY want to know what to do?

Don't date....

Your obvioulsy relatively young, as previously stated. Nothing, I repeat NOTHING, good can come out of "going out" that young. You really need to be spending your time with your friends, family, and of course your FFXI character :D.

I strongly recommend that everyone wait untill after highschool to get into a relationship. Dating is fine, but going steady with someone will only rob you of other much more valuable experiences.
 
Aerandir said:
You REALLY want to know what to do?

Don't date....

Your obvioulsy relatively young, as previously stated. Nothing, I repeat NOTHING, good can come out of "going out" that young. You really need to be spending your time with your friends, family, and of course your FFXI character :D.

I strongly recommend that everyone wait untill after highschool to get into a relationship. Dating is fine, but going steady with someone will only rob you of other much more valuable experiences.
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I don't know about till after high school. I met my current girlfriend at the end of my sophomore year, and we're coming up on our 3 year anniversary in the next month or so.^^ I haven't really missed out on things(except dating other people... which I really don't mind).

However, I do agree that dating in middle school and even early high school can sometimes be pretty pointless. I've seen the kind of "relationships" my little sister has(she's 14) and they are just well... more for gossiping about than actually enjoying it seems. Not to say that your like that at all Amanthyr.

If you're going to date though, just don't take it too seriously. This guy you're talking about currently... move on. He's not worth wasting any more time over, from what I can tell. There will be PLENTLY of other guys in the future.

Aerandir is right. Enjoy life right now. Chill with your friends, spend some quality time with your family and just take things easy. And if a guy comes along, make it all about fun.. not being serious.^^
 
Amnathyr said:
Sneakypants said:
I'd say drop him and just let him want you. :lol:
That'll learn him good.
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so....like playing had to get?

I dunno i mean i feel sorry for him
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More or less, yeah. If you have no opinion and self respect, a guy like this won't even pretend for you. If you don't just give it all away to him, and actually be you, he'll respect you more and not feel like he can do as he pleases with your emotions...Plus you won't be faking anything.

Your relationship is 2 things:
- What you put into it
- What you get out of it

Giving in a relationship is very important, but no more important than receiving something from it. You can't be too selfish and you can't be too altruistic. Finding this balance with someone is tricky if you aren't literally a match made in Heaven.

He needs to be willing to listen to you now, or he never will.
 
at your age your AF and school should be more important than some guy that dated u only cause it was "the kewl thing to do". as this case seems to ne IMO. i saw that so much when i was in HS it made me sick. dont be his trophy. be you and the right person will come when the time is right.

now, if he grows out of this fad and shapes up, he could very well be the right one for you. but still make him sweat for it if thats the case. :twisted:
 
Zaltana said:
at your age your AF and school should be more important than some guy that dated u only cause it was "the kewl thing to do". as this case seems to ne IMO.
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well i dont mean to be rude but that is absolutely not why i dated i had a crush on him for several months and i remember during summer i would look at his house when I drived by (which i did 90% of the time).
 
Bag him and dump him.

I mean.

But yeah at your age you really can not expect a whole lot out of a relationship (not to belittle you, mainly guys at that age) don't worry about it too much. Obviously, he is in the wrong, and right now he is probably not mature enough to see his mistake and fix it if you were to date again.
 
I was in a situation almost exactly like yours once. I had a good friend who kept asking me out, and I said yes more because I felt sorry for him and wanted him to stop bugging me about it. I was 14 at the time. We dated for about 6-8 months, and then he dumped me for another girl because she had bigger tits than I did, and was rumored to be easy. (I'm serious). When she wouldn't put out, he wanted to get back with me. I still kinda liked him, because at 14 I didn't have my logic and reason centers in my brain fully developed yet. THREE DAYS after I told him I'd think about getting back together with him, I caught him with another girl. They were fooling around ON THE STAGE in our High School theatre, while I was working on some of the spotlights in the loft.

There's a simple truth about most guys in the 13-15 range- they only want one thing, and it's not a strong, committed relationship where you share your deepest thoughts and emotions. Teenage hormones are powerful stuff, and strictly hold sway over this age range. A handful of good guys will start to grow up around 16ish, some won't grow up til they're nearly 30.

Save yourself the heartache, and wait a few years before you get involved in this stuff. You've got plenty of time in the future to get into bad relationships, for now just enjoy hanging out with your friends (the one who AREN'T trying to fondle you) and having some fun.
 
Imma guy, and I been where you are at now. lol. (not with a guy, with a GIRL ty)

Kick him in the balls and don't look back. Don't give him the chance to screw you over again.

Once a slime bucket always a slime bucket. Remember Leopards don't change their spots unless you burn it offa them.
 
umm

I wouldnt exactly wait till after highschool, but i definately wouldnt start at 13. At that age, you're honestly a bit too young to begin anything serious. It fucks your head up. Highschool would be a better time? Why Highschool? Because you can make your mistakes in Highschool, mistakes every person makes with their first REAL serious girlfriend, and that way in college you wont fuck yourself up.

If you guys want me to elaborate feel free to ask.
 
I dont think there is a set age to dating...it is more a maturity issue. And honey, no offense - but if you are willing to follow around a boy that treats you like shit already - you are NOT ready to date. You mentioned that he was a close friend? Why do you allow friends to treat you this way? All of my male friends treat me like a Goddess, and I would have it no other way ;)

IMO (no offense intended to anyone) women put up with far too much from men in the early dating stages. Do you think that you won't find someone better, at 13?! Do you think you don't deserve better? Boys your age are walking hormones (you guys have to admit this) maybe in your case, waiting until you can handle this, without being taken advantage of is a good idea. This happens for all of us at different stages of life. Lord knows - I have had far too many boyfriends in my lifetime....I have learned much - but still do not understand everything. I doubt we are ever meant to. *there is no rush on this - you do not NEED to put an effort into anyone that disrespects you <and others>

It doesn't sound like you are ready....but if you are still going to try, just be guarded with your heart. Heart break is far worse than the flu ;) But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I guess? :twisted:
 
jender said:
Boys your age are walking hormones (you guys have to admit this)
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Wait, that changes? :roll:
 
I wouldn't postpone dating. Many wonderful relationships begin in High school and mature through the years. However, I would say this. Any guy who is so impressionable by his friends to dump off his friend/GF is nothing more than still just a child. You do sound young and so does he but letting people run your life and who you are with last a lifetime. He may or may not grow out of this but I wouldn't pick him back up until it was clearly evident ALL peer pressure has escaped his system. Another thing that can go terribly wrong is dating friends. Sure it seems like a good idea but rarely does it turn out the way you'd imagine in the end. I'm not saying don't take the risk, I personally have done this many times, just think in the end which is more important keeping a person close for as long as possible or take a risk of loosing everything. Sometimes if you can hold out on just being friends when the time is right it will fall in to place by itself. Good luck to you on this.

Keep in mind you have a llong ong time to find that one special someone. Don't rush it and potentially end it before it has time to begin. :(
 
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