It's taken me a few days to figure out exactly what I want to say in response to this... mess... below... so bear with me. I will not, however, go in and edit everything every other day like you have. I'll say it once, and that'll be it.
yes, but you should also realize that sometimes when the outside sources even see that there are being poor decisions made from that than generally it rings more true to them and shame is brought. That's usually why people don't like when outside of the family people say such because then when even those who don't interact with the people as much see it, that's a sign of a weakness in their life and they get angry/shameful. That's usually why most these days try not to say such openly to spare people shame and whatnot but I don't think it's really a bad thing if they feel a little shame here and there. It helps build character I guess. I really am not trying to be mean but I am trying to point out to Myrrh that hopefully he'll talk to his mother about what a poor move that was on her part (If this makes sense than good.. but I'm thinking I might have worded some things poorly >< I'm still tired).
Feeling shame? What do you think this post was made out of in the first place? You can't really speak to people you see on a day to day basis about this, because its embarassing. This is an outlet where (mostly) none of us will ever see Myrrh in real life, so there is no fear of reprecussion. However, you have solidly put your foot right in your goddamn mouth. Maybe you should take a page out of your own book and feel a little shame, for blatantly pushing your views into a post that has nothing to do with you. You have stepped far over the line and if Myrrh isn't insulted by your words, I surely am. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be in a family with this kind of thing going on? Do you think he could possibly go up to his mother and say 'Hey mom, bad call on that one' and not possibly get the worst reeming of his life? Do you even interact with your parents or family? With as sheltered as your words and opinions are, I can say with some fair certainty that you probably haven't faced on bit of this type of situation and lived a nice quiet life with your family and books. Good for you.
I will agree with you that sometimes its best to hear something from out of the family. I have spoken frankly with friends before about familial situations and drama. But, there inlies the difference. Friends. I'm not going to walk up to some stranger here, on the street, anywhere and say 'Wow dude, you've got a shitty mom'. That takes one of two things. Balls or idiocy. By your words, I'm heavily leaning on the latter.
Elemmire said:
And Germ, for the last damn time, stop going around to where I post and being an ass to everything I say. And yes, I will call motherhood into question because Myrrh himself has even said that she's been coddling and whatnot before. She has not cut the apron strings (metaphorically speaking of course) and let her child learn from his own mistakes and clean up his own mess. This is one of the huge problems I've seen from our society (hell, the general world) today. Parents refuse to really begin to teach their child about the real world until far too late. It's amazing how much the adult's lives revolve around the child and that gives the child an extreme amount of power over the parent. This DOES NOT help to get rid of the whole "infant omnipotence" that everyone has from when they are born. The belief that the world will provide for and circles around them. When a parent does not begin to set boundaries and limits and saying no, being strict and harsh at a bit earlier age.. well that's a problem.
First, Grem is doing you a service. I think that someone needs to put your in your place, or at least knock you off of this pedestal you've seemed to hop up on and glue your feet to.
Not cut the apron strings? Honey do you even know what the FUCK you're on about? Let me clue you in on something here... A mother will do anything for their child to keep them from harm. Especially in situations like this, because her son is currently in a downward spiral that he cannot get himself out of. At this point, he CANNOT help himself. He doesn't know what else to do. His mother is doing what she thinks is best, protecting him from harm. Would YOU want to see YOUR child go to jail? Can you possibly even imagine the shame this woman is feeling? Questioning herself of where she went wrong with her son? When she stopped being a good mother? If she was ever one in the first place? You have NO clue whats going on with his mother. You have a one-sided story to go on, and your bold assumptions do not make you look like the 'educated poster' as you're trying to seem. They just make you look like a rude, sheltered, over-opinionated busybody. Just because you read a lot of books dear, doesn't mean you're smart.
Elemmire said:
I'm going to go off on a tangent for a sec here, but it used to be that a child was seen not heard. I don't agree completely with not being heard at all as they should have a right to get in a conversation, but they need to learn their are limits and they need to learn that they can not interrupt people. I've seen too many that don't understand the idea of giving someone their time to speak and then responding.. and so they just loudly and rudely interrupt in the middle of things. It used to be that a child ALWAYS had to be home by a certain time and if not then they were going to be severely punished and now they get maybe a little slap on the wrist or a "don't do that" in a very unconvincing voice. Children also, way back in the day, were once expected to eat with the family and if they finished first they could ask if they could leave but if the parent said no they had to sit there and wait patiently and even engage in the family discussion if called for. It was all this way of helping a child to learn self discipline for one and a way to manage aggression (generally more for males than females) which needed management. That's why one reason there are so many problems today. Many have not learned how to manage themselves.
And, what really gets me, what really pisses me off to no end is that parents will not even take the slightest responsibility for it. They just go "it must be TV" or something else. While it's true that television can have an impact on a child's life (all be it small), or the friends they hang out with (which is by far larger than the TV influence), it is parents that, in the end, shape and define a child's ways which will be how they act when they are older. Hell, it's more likely that the child will turn out to be a lot like the parent and in turn not take any responsibility for his or her actions just as the parent refuses to with the problems they are responsible for. It's been proven that it is more likely than not that people are more or less reflections of their parents.
This last quote of you leads me to believe one of two things. You're a younger sibling with a boisterous older brother that was obviously allowed to do far more than his 'younger sibling' (or sister, because it honestly seems that way. You're an angry young teenage girl). Or, you're a book-smart, life-dumb only child that had no need for such rules as you were too shy. I can see that by you saying this, you have had absolutely no interaction with the raising of children. You've taken the words of some child-psycologist self-help-for-parents books and copied it here. The people you have witnessed not disciplining their children and acting like that, are few indeed. Does that mean there aren't people out there like that? Of course not. Does that mean that there are few of these people? With the percentage of breeding Americans in this country (and others); Hell no.
Did you ever stop and think, in your tirade of self-important blather, that maybe when the child gets older... raised by model perfect parents trying their hardest to do what was right and teach and love their children... that this child made their own fucking choice? That possibly, just MAYBE... they had the freedom of thought to go 'Hey... you know what I think I'm going to try that drug over there' and when they do, and enjoy it, engulf themselves in the scene and the people involved with such things? I know, its a scary idea, freedom of thought without a book dictating the way you feel. You should try it sometime. Maybe you would actually stop before posting this complete idiocy.
If you are in fact going to have children in the future, please save your response here and look at it when they're about 3-4 years old. Look how ridiculous you look, and laugh at yourself in your naivity.
None of this you have entered here was in the least bit necessary. You have further alienated yourself from caring people, and some that even gave you credibility (what little you had to begin with). The only way you can get back from crossing this huge line, is to put down the facade of your 'higher education', get down off of your soap box, realize that you have done wrong and apologize.
