Excuses used to call out of work

I just tell my boss "hey, I'm taking a day off." And if I want to leave early, I just say "Hey, I'm checking out for the day, see yah."

I love the life of an auto tech...
 
Daveman said:
"So I woke up in the morning, and my parents said we're going to Maryland for vacation, they never even told me about it, can't work till we get back" - One of my friends calling his boss

"Yeah I can't work today, yeah, yeah, she's still in the hospital, doctors said she'd doing better though, yeah, thanks for understanding" - Same friend

"So we were playing snowball, and as I was running, someone hit me right in the face, and I fell on ice and twisted my ankle" - Guess who

Eventually they caught on and fired him for his insanely complicated excuses he'd come up with almost weekly.
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My partner at work does this. It pisses me off. Generally, it's got something to do with either a) his dog contracting some disease or suddenly developing cancer, or b) having to go contest a traffic ticket and "oh I sucked this week at my scheduling".

Excim said:
I just tell my boss "hey, I'm taking a day off." And if I want to leave early, I just say "Hey, I'm checking out for the day, see yah."

I love the life of an auto tech...
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lol, computer technicians have about the same leeway.
 
I love my job. If i don't want to show up I just tell myself to go fuck myself. I've yet to fire myself for so much back talk and shitty costumer service...
 
I tried that. It lead into a fight which then lead into sex. I hate it when that happens.
 
I took of last friday. Reason: "Metal Gear Solid 4 is coming out."
 
Myrrh said:
I tried that. It lead into a fight which then lead into sex. I hate it when that happens.
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Is your left hand jealous?
 
Ravic said:
I took of last friday. Reason: "Metal Gear Solid 4 is coming out."
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Heh, I remember taking a day off work to go see "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King"
 
I have kids.. so they are always a good excuse.. always.
 
Makelith said:
Unless your employee was the most hardcore person in the world (close the hardcoreness of me and raider) he doesn't want to be in MN.
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You know it man. We walk 10 miles to work barefoot in the 3 feet of snow at 430 in the morning, with pneumonia because we are hardcore. We do not call in sick in Minnesota.

Tim Wakefield said:
Really? You're doin' it right!
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This statement is true.
 
I know a guy that goes by the name "Creature". For almost a month, he'd go into work at Home depot, clock in, and then go to the lake and drink for 8 hours then go back and clock out.

That guy is an asshole.

If you want the day off, ask in advance. If the answer is no, then go to work. I hate working with people that call in all the time. Especially when I have to do extra work for the same amount of money to cover their shit. And what's worse is if you have to change your schedule later on in the week because you hit over time and can't work the rest of your schedule.

I suppose I'm all right with it if I end up getting overtime pay. but most places will try to fuck you out of that.have something that has to be done thursday, so work 4 10 hour days and get it done then they tell you your off on friday.

Anywhere you work would rather you ask off than call in sick. The more notice the better.

Now if you work in a call center or something like that, it doesn't really matter.

Oh well, that's life.

Use one of these...

Call in mostly dead. Tell them Miracle Max will have you back on your feet in about 8 hours.

If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e * log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

I prefer to remain an enigma.

My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

Yeah.
 
Trippyhippy said:
I know a guy that goes by the name "Creature".
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lol I stopped reading here, because I figured he was a piece of shit who would leave work without even calling out.

Interestingly enough, I recently found out that my partner at work (the aforementioned dickweed who calls out once a week on avg) uses his online gaming name as his real name.

Kinda makes me wonder if he shouts "Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt!" at people he doesn't like >.>
 
Trippyhippy said:
Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
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No joke, but I think I'm going to use this excuse next time I call out. We're quite laid back here and my boss would get a kick out of this.
 
I'd hear about that for months... or years if I were to do that. People are too up tight here.
 
K.I.S.S.

I call in before anyone is at work and leave a message. "Hello. This is *insert name*. I'm just calling to let you know I am taking a sick day. If you need to reach me call *cellphone number*"
 
Kurgon said:
K.I.S.S.

I call in before anyone is at work and leave a message. "Hello. This is *insert name*. I'm just calling to let you know I am taking a sick day. I will be at the hospital, and as such will be out of cell phone service."
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Fixed for real.
 
Nope, you just broke it. :(
 
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