Getting a girl in r/l

[Angof]

Knowing the person, at least vaugly, and having some sort of connection(school, work, ect) definately helps. Talking to them also does, asssuming you can summon the courage to even speak. BUt really if you have such a problem with talking to people in real life you could try explaining at first that your shy so its hard for you to talk at first sometimes. Heck at least it would give you soemthing to talk about. Hey I do it and thats how come I am able to talk to some people(I'm not always shy but it happens). Besides that you should just be yourself. I mean if you have a good personality then people will just naturally take to you usually. If you have a bad personality..well people will take to you still but normally they end up having bad personallitys too...

 

[Cythe]

I know it sounds cliche, but you definatly want to be friends with them first. The best thing to do is look around your current surroundings (ie: school, job, whatever) and just be a cool relaxed normal dude.

It's much easier to talk to a girl about things that are in common with you both. For instance, if you like a girl at school say something like, "Damn this class is hard, do you understand this stuff?" or if it's a girl at work say, "Man, they got me working a double shift, don't you hate that?"

Jumping to the "friend-stage" is fairly easy. The hard part comes when you want it to level-up to a "girlfriend-stage", but you should know by then if it's even a possibility by that point anyway. Just take it slow, and she won't think that all you want is her nekkid.

By becoming friends first, you can learn if she is even someone you want to be with anyway (and vice versa). You definatly need to get a line of communication open, and it's easiest to talk about something that is related to you both. I personally use the "humor-card" to get to be friends with girls. In my experience, if you are a normal-funny-cool-dude, chicks will like you.

Cliche? Being friends before you date can be a vital part of a successful relationship(Note I said CAN BE, not always.) Well worded, and very true Mortanis.

And yea, I do always manually write in my sig Palum lol. Dunno why.

 

[Taurothar]

Another note: That Asshole technique seems to also work in CT. Some of my best friends are of the female persuasion and 90% of when they talk to me about their boyfriends or whatnot is bitching about how much of an asshat they are to them... and yet, they stay with that asshat. I'm a nice guy, not me saying this but rather EVERYONE telling me on an almost daily basis, and yet, I have serious trouble getting beyond that friend stage with any girls really. I usually end up with the line "we're too good of friends" and "I don't want to risk what we have" which is probably a bigger kick in the nuts than "eww get away" because if someone just flat out turns you down, at least you know there wasn't a chance, with the other answers it probably means you missed a chance and now you're stuck in the "friend zone". Girls obviously don't want a nice guy, at least not in my area. From what I have seen, confidence is the key factor in getting a girl. If you approach a girl with confidence, and give her attention and respect, then you should walk away with a good idea whether or not she likes you. Now, I've had 2 relationships, sure I've dated a bunch, but not really seriously. Both relationships were based on a long friendship before hand. You can't enter a relationship with someone you're not open with. I don't care if you just met the person, or if you've known them for years. It is impossible to have a mutual relationship without being comfortable with that person enough to tell them just about anything. You cannot love what you do not know, and what doesn't know you, cannot love you. Be yourself and you can't go wrong, you'll find someone who loves you for you, and not you for who they want you to be.

 

[Lanien]

..hey, I'm from Jersey! lol

Me too. I feel your pain.

lol I feel sorry for you both. Straight up NY. Although I do live only 10 minutes from Jersey lol

Anyways, getting a girl is usually easy. Getting a girl that is worth it is a totally different story. Some girls are bitches and end up being a waste of my time. However, findin that one girl that you can't walk away from at the end of the night to go home is the one worth finding.

How did I get my girl? Well I'm her boss at the place we work at lol even though she doesn't admit that I am her boss. And we've always been close friends. This summer when I came back from college, I made my move after taking her out a couple times after work to see movies. She ended up calling her mother and telling her she was going to her friends house for a sleepover, but that house was really mine. We spent the whole night just talkin, making out, a bit of fondling lol All I had to do was be myself. The girls worth fighting for are the girls who will take you for what you are. And I can honestly say now that I love her, even though it has only been a few months with her.

 

[Panda]

..hey, I'm from Jersey! lol

Me too. I feel your pain.

jersey 4tw

 

[Veteran]

cythe you must note that technique only works on jersey hoes... btw in case you didn't know adding a g/f to your r/l you might as well say good bye to mmorpg's unless she's into it, other wise fuhget about it

Confirmed it works on TX, AL, FL, GA, TN, CO, PA as well... That I'm sure of.

CA also.

 

[Alyada]

I've never had any luck with girls.

But a good friend that is a girl told me once that women between the ages of 15-25 only want a big, buff, showoff boyfriend. So, if you're not show off material then you can just kiss your dating days goodbye. I know I did.

Just wait until girls come to their senses, which is in about 5 years for me. Sweet!

-_-;

 

[Miros]

*sits on the sidelines and just giggles a lot*

 

[Burne]

I've never had any luck with girls.

But a good friend that is a girl told me once that women between the ages of 15-25 only want a big, buff, showoff boyfriend. So, if you're not show off material then you can just kiss your dating days goodbye. I know I did.

Just wait until girls come to their senses, which is in about 5 years for me. Sweet!

-_-;

wow.... Im not a girl but I would find that kind of offensive. Thats like saying all guys want are models to show of to there friends..... Dont wait 5 years to realize that your good friend doesnt know what she is talking about and you need to hang out with MORE girls. Not all ppl are as shallow as that.

 

[Cythe]

I've never had any luck with girls.

But a good friend that is a girl told me once that women between the ages of 15-25 only want a big, buff, showoff boyfriend. So, if you're not show off material then you can just kiss your dating days goodbye. I know I did.

Just wait until girls come to their senses, which is in about 5 years for me. Sweet!

-_-;

wow.... Im not a girl but I would find that kind of offensive. Thats like saying all guys want are models to show of to there friends..... Dont wait 5 years to realize that your good friend doesnt know what she is talking about and you need to hang out with MORE girls. Not all ppl are as shallow as that.

Sure they are. XD At least, I sure wouldn't doubt it from some of the stuff I've seen here.

 

[Kyle]

Dunno how well this would work with everyone else but it seems like whenever I'm looking for a g/f, I have the worst fucking luck. I finally get pissed and decide to go out with friends and have a good time or whatever with them and not worry about meeting any girls. Seems without fail that whenever I do this, I always manage to meet some extremely hot girl and they're great girls that I've met this way lol. Try that or also getting a mohawk!

I'd make it smaller but my cpu crashed and I have no photoshop atm.

 

[Skaw]

Wow, people still use corded phones? :shock:

 

[Panda]

But a good friend that is a girl told me once that women between the ages of 15-25 only want a big, buff, showoff boyfriend.

Right, the girls that go to dance clubs with their titties all hangin out or the young ones that go to a party get drunk and make out with all the boys there.. I want to say that this is a ridiculous statement but it is so true from so many different angles.. Girls in the scene want a man they can show off or has status so they can be involved, Girls in high school want to be popular, and so on.. Even the guys.. guys want girls that look good.. trophies.. not many people really look at a person's personality before the way they would look on their arm.. its not true in every case but its damn well noticable to me everywhere..

 

[Flymop]

Alright i think its slightly different over here. I've never thought girls only want to go with real buff guys

 

[Aalea Skyfall]

The media keeps feeding them images that this is how it's supposed to be...

On a personal note, ever since I became single 3 years ago I've met about a dozen of nice interesting girls (whom also seem interested ) and then they pick a great moment to drop the bomb "my boyfriend/husband/etc blah blah blah".

My favorite of these was the girl who asked how tall I was... I say 5'10"... she says "oh then you are perfect.. If me and my boyfriend ever break up, you might have a shot".. I'm like "yeah, right.."

I used to be real shy about girls, now I'm just in a "who cares what anyone thinks"-mode and if they don't like my true self, then move along baby...

Atleast I have my imaginary girlfriend Aalea... :wink: :lol:

 

[Corrosion]

After reading all this, I'd say the BEST advice given was to be friends with the girl first before trying to take it to the next level. From personal experience, I know this works best.

I was friends with my girlfriend for 8 months before we started dating. It was probably best that way, because by knowing me for 8 months she got to see all the sides of me. The asshole, the genius, the charmer... :wink:. But yeah, she saw all the sides of me, and she was still interested. Thats a sign that a person is really into you and that they want more than just a fling. Had we started dating before she had seen all my sides, she would probably be overwhelmed pretty quickly and it would be over.

July 21st will be our 4 months mark, and I'm loving ever day I get to spend with her.

But also, saying that "Always be you, don't change for a girl" is total BS. You do need to change. Not a lot, but a little. There's gonna be something about you that ticks the girl off. It may just be 1 thing, but it may cost you your relationship. For example - Before we started dating, I always had my hair REALLY long, and I kept a fair sized beard. When we started dating, she wanted me to get a couple inches cut off, and start shaving full time. Was it a big deal for me to change? No, so I did.

If you're afraid of changing a little bit, then you're gonna be like the people on Seinfeld. Dating person, after person, after person, getting no wheres.

 

[Strid]

But also, saying that "Always be you, don't change for a girl" is total BS. You do need to change. Not a lot, but a little. There's gonna be something about you that ticks the girl off. It may just be 1 thing, but it may cost you your relationship. For example - Before we started dating, I always had my hair REALLY long, and I kept a fair sized beard. When we started dating, she wanted me to get a couple inches cut off, and start shaving full time. Was it a big deal for me to change? No, so I did.

If you're afraid of changing a little bit, then you're gonna be like the people on Seinfeld. Dating person, after person, after person, getting no wheres.

Changing for anyone is ridiculous...why would you want to be with someone who can't accept who you are? If long hair, beards, etc. cause a relationship to fall out chances are something will inevitably end it later. The ones who want to change you aren't worth a damn like someone said already they are looking for a "trophy" (sp?). If you change who you are to be accepted by someone else I'd hate to imagine what the future will bring for you...

The good ones don't care what your style is. They care about who you are. Nothing else matters but character and if you don't click there keep looking.

 

[Corrosion]

Strid:

So... say you actually meet this unbelievable girl. You love everything about her. You really want to be with her, and the only thing stopping you is your beard. You can honestly say you wouldn't shave it to be with her?

If you wouldn't shave, then power to you. Spend the rest of your life looking for the girl who loves absolutely everything about you. When you're 70 and lonely, because your unshaven beard kept you from getting a girl, don't come crying to us.

But in my case its not like she wouldn't go out with me if I didn't shave. She just finds my shaven look a lot more sexier than my unshaven look. And in relationships, incase you didn't realize, you want your partner to find you sexy.

 

[Cythe]

Honestly, Corrosion has a point. One thing I've always believed is that people not willing to change are relying way more on luck to find and keep the 'perfect' significant other.

Life throws all kinds of crazy crap at you, and when it comes down to it, there will always be times when you are forced to change or bend with what comes. So why refuse to do a little bending for a person you care about? Ok, maybe the beard example isn't the best, because it seems more superficial, but I've definately dated my share of girls who wished things were slightly different. Now I'm not talking about them saying 'oh I hate your Aerosmith and Incubus shirts, go get some BSB and N*Sync shirts!' and complying to that....

But, for example, I dated a girl who didn't like the fact that I could be kinda slipping on the obscenities when I talk. So, I tried to curb my tongue for the sake of not upsetting her. It didn't kill me to replace obscene words here and their and calm down the amount of cursing I tended to do...And now I barely curse. I could have been like 'f*ck no, I'll talk how I want!' but that wouldn't have allowed the relationship to be as enjoyable or lasting as it was.

 

[Burne]

Everyone has pretty good points.

But I do think also it is good to change a little bit for someone. Change is apart of life anyway and im sure everyone here has changed in some way or another. Maybe its from b/c of your friends, family, or environment but ppl do change for the better or worse and its not always a bad thing. To me its one of the things that makes us human.

Now changing ever detail about your life is wrong though.