Getting a girl in r/l

chpal said:
Im alone too ;; but I have friends that are girls, but I just dont know how to nudge it into relantionship status.
Im joining the military, and I was wondering if military girls are any different from civilian girls in terms of dating and such

I'm in the Air Force, but I can't really compare military women to civilian ones because I haven't had a GF since I've joined. :cry: Gah this is really a sore topic for me, I'm just gonna stay away from this one, sorry. :cry:
 
ThatGuyYouKnow said:
And if all else fails, and you have nothing to talk about, smile! You see a girl, she sees you looking at her....Don't look away or stare dumbfoundedly...Just smile, biggest ice breaker of them all.

Wish i knew that before i went to the party i went to the other night
 
True that being able to start a conversation with a girl requires a bit of practice. What I find funny is that WE ALL have something to say when we meet a person, but pressure/intimidation, robs us of what we would say because it's already flushed from your mind. Then, when either she leaves or you start to walk away, all those thoughts start pouring back in; I HATE that! :lol: What I want to know, Flymop, is the type of person you are when it comes to social interaction. When you're walking around the block and you meet a stranger, let's say female, do you just walk by without noticing that they're there, or do you greet them and acknowledge their presence with a simple "Hello"? Some thing could be asked when you're out shopping: when you approach a chasier or sales person, that's female, do you greet them and follow it up with a comment?
It's all about practice, and in this case, the social interaction. If you take some time out of your week to talk to more female strangers, you'll notice that it just becomes easier to you. Now, they don't have to be young, hot, vixens. Just talk to any lady that of any age wherever you are. Believe it or not, this is the best advice I was ever given when it comes to approaching and being able to hold a conversation with a lady. AND PLEASE, don't try to look for a lady. Unfortunately to ladies, when most see a man who's obviously on the prowl, those men come off as "desperate" and "unchallenging"; women do love having a man who's interesting. Just be "indifferent".
One last thing: another thing that will help build up your confidence is eye contact. I'm sure you probably heard the phrase "Eyes are the window to the soul"? People are able to tell your mood, and sometimes what you're thinking...depending on how you look at a female, just be looking at your eyes in the middle of a conversation. Any time you approach a female YOU DON'T KNOW, greet them, AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, make eye contact while you do it. Don't stare too long or hard, just enough to tell her that you're actually paying attention to her! The more you're able to "properly" keep eye contact with a stranger, the easier it becomes to read their moods. It also helps with how you're able to set the pace of the conversation and tell, whether or not, if she's really interested. If she starts to look around and intentionally refrains from making eye contact with you, she's either not interested and trying to find an excuse to end the converation, or just extremely shy; read her body language! If she really starts to give you signs that she isn't interested in having a conversation with you, try to end to conversation and politely as you can and just part ways. DO be able to know when a woman's not interested and just walk away: it may not sound this way, but it also helps build your character in a "I don't go hanging on to any woman who's willing to give me a second if their attention."--That also comes off as "desperation". Just always think to yourself "I'm a person who's worth time spending with" and it will slowly come off to people around you! It's about PERSONALITY!
Okay, I think I rambled on far too long already. I won't say "good luck" because it's really not about luck, it's about confidence and ANYONE can achieve this. Take care, bro!
 
5 hit-combo!!!

superm.jpg


:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
 
Man! RIGHT when I hit the submit button, it just hung there. So I figured that simply clicking stop to proofread and correct my post won't cause any harm...WRONG! >.< ...Guess I have to fix my firefox. Marvel Super Heroes Vs. Street Fighter's a great game, by the way. =P
 
Bluezer said:
When you're walking around the block and you meet a stranger, let's say female, do you just walk by without noticing that they're there, or do you greet them and acknowledge their presence with a simple "Hello"?

Well depends where i am. If im at home in my village out going walkies i usually do say hi. In town and the city etc i dont. That mean anything?
 
Of course you're able to greet people in your neighborhood, because you're either in a setting you're familiar with, or with people you know. In either case, there's nothing to give you that sense of pressure, so, it's easier for you to say "Hi" to them. Now, being in an area that you're not familiar with, that's where greeting people matter, ladies in this case, because it forces you to get your brain pumping to form those sentences out of nowhere. Think of giving a speach in speach class for the first time: IT'S UTTERLY NERVE WRACKING to those who're not use to speaking to crowds of people. I remember when I went up for my speach. The moment I stared into the crowd, my mind went blank and I kept uttering those retarded verbal pauses "um...", "err...", "ah..", list goes on. We choke like this because we really worry about how your audience will accept you such as: "I wonder if they'll think I'll suck...I don't want them to think that!", or "What if i choke, I could never live that down!".
Same thing happens when you meet some arbitrary girl you like: your brain seems to shut down when you need it most and you don't know what to say to save your life, or the conversation with this girl in this case! Some men torture themselves with doubt and regection since that's what they're already expecting, so, they'll just simply walk by the lady without even trying! Who knows, maybe that particular lady would've actually liked that guy, but he'll never know since he never bothered to open his mouth. Just don't worry too much about talking to ladies you don't know. Do know that the more you do this, the easier it will become because you'll be desensitized at some point, hopefully. Make eye contact, greet, and try at conversation. I know you've heard this DOZENS of times but talking about something obvious in your surrounding, or the current situation, is a good ice breaker to get a conversation started with a complete stranger. Remember to smile when you talk, KEEP eye contact, and watch her body language. DO NOT keep most of the conversational topic on you, your accomplishments, or whatever it is that might lead to bragging since this bores most ladies. Ask questions about how she's feeling, how her day went, or try to look for something about her that makes her unique...within reason. Trust me, if she's into you, she'll either talk your ear off, or blush the whole time you're listening to her WITH YOUR EYES TO HERS. That's the other thing, if you get this feeling about some girl you're approaching and you attempt to make simple eye contact as your smiling, DON'T BE THE FIRST TO LOOK AWAY. Make sure that it's the lady that looks away first. I gaurantee you, you'll immediately know if there's the slightest hint of interest in her depending on how she reacts to you! If she either folds her arms, or turns both her head AND body away from you, that's a good sign that she's not interested and you'll most likely be rejected...even though most persistant guys still try anyway.
Girls also pay attention to little things that most men aren't aware of such as: your hands, finger nails, hair, eyes, clothing, posture, facial expressions, yadda-yadda, etc. Just keep yourself clean & tidy, also your clothes, do not slouch around since most women look at that as low self-esteem, even though you might not be. And when you do talk to a lady out of the blue, do not cross your legs, fold your arms, or look away because this'll passively tell the lady that you won't open up to her and you're not interested in her in that way...more body language. In the middle of conversation, if she starts to brush her hair behind her ears, takes little pauses from conversation to look at you, closes the space between you two by leaning towards you while she keeps her arms unfolded, or touches you playfully after a joke, SHE'S INTERESTED!
It frustrates me so when guys miss out on those signs since they continuously dwell of the thought of rejection...what's the worst that can happen to you? What, she'll just say "no, sorry", or something close that. Dude, I don't care who tells you otherwise, YOU'RE GOING TO BE REJECTED! Just don't lose face, and try again. Think of it this way: most "assholes" you see who call themselves "players" do get a lot of women, but ask them if most of those "dates" were worth investing in. I'd rather date a handful of women in my life and have MEANINGFUL relationships to grow and learn from, than to date all the women I could possibly nab just to be a so-called "man", cause in the end, you won't have anything meaningful. ...Alright, I rambled on again, but I think you get the picture. Hope I was able to help you, Flymop! Go out there and make it happen!
 
If ya want to get laid which at your age should be all you want, just be an asshole...works like a charm ^^

Oh and watch the movie "Swingers" and take notes. Never act like you're interested bro, no matter what any chick says on here or IRl don't do it or they may give ya that "Let's be friends" line.

When you get older you need to start shaping up a bit and be more of a gentleman because most girls become wise to the whole act, but at your age hot chicks dig assholes.
 
Thing is i cant really act like an asshole as i dont want to be seen like that
 
I understand that this thread was meant for Flymop, but I am taking in a great deal of interesting tid-bits. Awsome thread!

:D
 
Flymop said:
Thing is i cant really act like an asshole as i dont want to be seen like that

A wise man once wrote "Tis better to be portrayed an asshole and go home with the girl in hand, then to be the nice guy and go home with just your hand."

Ok, that was just a real lame thing I came up with in like 10 seconds, but you get my point :P
 
Bluezer had a lot of good things to say

all i have to add is that if you are honestly looking for a relationship that will last more than 2 months or something, getting to know the person before u go otu with them is a good idea. why?:

1.) you see each other at ur worst, nothing is hidden
2.) you get more time to see how she interacts with others, and maybe the annoying little things she does
3.) gives u a chance to see if u can actually talk and get along with her without having to start a relationship and then go through the troube of breaking it off with her when u realize u dont like her all that much.

meeting a chick. first impression is important. dont play it too asshole nor too "carebear". Most girls find pick-up lines to be quite corny. Go up and introduce yourself something as simple as, well if in a club scene. "hey im ... , can i get u something to drink?" a simple smile and looking at them when u tell them.

what are most guys afraid of? Like Bluezer said its REJECTION. Here's what i always say to my friends, who are like most of you guys here quite afraid of meeting people. You are going to a party or a club alone, so worst comes to worst if you get rejected alone, you'll leave as you came, alone. But there is always the chance some girl will take interest in you. If you never try you'll never know. Rejection only lets uk now u did something wrong so u can try another approach. The "players" u guys talk about didnt one day jus decide to get girls and start getting them, it takes practice like everything else.

if u do get a girlfriend dont say shit like "i cant live without you" or "im the luckiest guy in the world to have you", shit like that gives them the upper hand. You can say you love them and stuff but dont reveal too much because they use it against u sometimes lol.
 
Xerius said:
if u do get a girlfriend dont say shit like "i cant live without you" or "im the luckiest guy in the world to have you", shit like that gives them the upper hand. You can say you love them and stuff but dont reveal too much because they use it against u sometimes lol.

Words to live by my man. I'm now whipped beyond belief because I said that so much. She knows I need her, and she uses it to her advantage. I'm slowly gaining some power back though...

But seriously, I don't recommend starting a relationship off with the girl wearing the pants. It can be quite the bitch.
 
Flymop, bro, if there's one thing you should never do is play that "Asshole" act. If you really wanna know, the reason most "good girls" look for a "bad boy" is because they find them exciting, fun, and offers those ladies something new to experience. They also view "bad boys" as the type of man that would stand up for both himself and his woman. I'm not trying to say that most "Nice Guys" are pansies, but most ladies would sooner expect a Bad Boy to be able to stand up for himself over that of a Nice Guy. Bad Boys also act indifferent to their ladies both emotionally & physically. Women view this as an ENORMOUS challenge which has them thinking "I thought he was interested in me, why is he doing this? I have to find out why!", or "I really care about this guy, but he's treating me like I'm not even here. He's always looking at other women. Maybe if I try to look as good as the women he's looking at, perhaps I can get him to like me again!" AND THEY GO OUT OF THEIR WAY to change EVERY bit of themselves from dying their hair, to changing the way they dress, and even as far as "putting out" to try to win them back! During this whole idiotic phase, these ladies forget just who damn beautiful AND unique they really are, just for some idiot guy to tell them otherwise. In the end, these women are tossed aside for some other "hottie" their Ex thinks is better. Here's something that simply INFURIATES me: these ladies go back to the same freakin' places where they meet men similar to their Ex's, only to repeat the cycle...all...over...again.
After a few of these unfortunate experiences, these ladies are left feeling used, unappreciated, and unwanted, and normally close themselves off from relationships for a good while to try to re-cap on their mistakes--men who are worth time, go through the same freakin' thing. Let's think for a second: why do most women in their mid to late 20's are serverely cautious in investing their time and energy on a man...maybe he'll be the same way! This train of thought of such ladies usually doesn't change until the meet a man who does appreciate them for who they are, and help them remember just how beautiful they truly are.
If there's anything you should think about when it comes to these "Assholes" is how these ladies come out in the end in the name of sex. While these type of men seek a women for sexual pleasure, ONLY, the ladies are looking for a man to invest themselves in. After the man get's what he wants, he moves on to the next one and the lady is left broken. If you ever want to have a meaningful relationship with a woman, DON'T do this to them! *sigh* I have talked to a good amount of female friends, co-workers, female relatives, and even strangers who gave similar stories and confessions. Be good to your woman and she'll be good to you.
 
Well, even if i tryed i wouldnt be able to act like an asshole, i have enough trouble just wondering what girls actually think of me when im acting normal. All the crap ive been put through in my life has made me kinda paranoid, so that isnt a great help.

Its all well and good saying how you go about meeting people but when you put it into practise it all goes out the window really. Like you say, your mind goes blank, so all the stuff you read really goes to squat. I guess all this is just reassurance really in the end.
 
Alright theres a new part to the story now. A girl who works down my local shop looks pretty nice and i wouldnt mind trying it on. Thing is, wtf do i say. All i've said to her so far is hi, thank you, and could i have a 10 pound top up for my phone.
 
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