Goblin Smithy's Blog

[Halifirien]

Via Kirsteena, I got a link to A Smithy's Life, a "blog" by a lowly goblin smithy. Some great stuff in there. Well worth reading.

Here's a sample from his rant about DRKs:

Who brings a scythe to a fight?

A sword I get. An axe. Even a lance. Those are all good. Katanas make sense, too.

But a scythe? Really?

Were you guys out tending a field and just got called into battle?

I'm sure you had time to go home and get a real weapon. I don't see anyone coming in with a damned tractor, so you could have done your part.

I understand what you're going for. Oooooooooooo, I'm the Grim Reaper. Look at my, big scary blade. Ooooooooooooo.

But honestly, you guys must have stopped one day and said "Is this really the most efficient weapon I could have brought?"

And the delay! Dear Altana!

I was fighting a DRK the other day and I had just enough time between swings to watch an entire season of the OC.

Of course, after I did, I wanted to die, but that's another story.

Seriously, guys, you're already the most emo job class out there. There's no point denying it. We all know it.

I mean your AF gear should come with black lipstick and a Jimmy Eat World CD.

Do you really need a giant emo weapon, too?

It gets annoying really.

Here's how every single fight with a DRK goes:

GoblinSmithy>> Know what your face needs? More knife.
DRK>> The darkness envelops my soul.
GoblinSmithy>> Who in the what now?
DRK>> I am a broken angel with mended wings.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Uhh... oh... kay.
DRK>> My endless torment is without end.
GoblinSmithy>> Well it would be, wouldn't it?
GoblinSmithy>> If it had an end, it wouldn't be endless.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean, now you're annoying AND redundant.
DRK>> My soul sees the light of dawn.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait, wait, wait.
GoblinSmithy>> You said darkness envelops your soul.
GoblinSmithy>> Now, you're contradicting yourself.
DRK>> Tear my life into pieces...
GoblinSmithy>> Oh lord...
DRK>> This is my (( Last Resort ))
GoblinSmithy>> Tell you what...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm just going to kill myself, k?

*OWN FACE STAB*

GoblinSmithy>> Sweet, merciful, emo-less death.
DRK>> I raise the cold steel of my blade.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm DEAD!
GoblinSmithy>> You can shut the hell up now.

I realize that when you signed up for the DRK job, you were actively acknowledging that it was emo. You knew it from the get go.

The name of the job is Dark Knight, for Altana's sake. Your 2 hour is called 'Blood Weapon". This is not news to anyone.

But do we really need to hear about it every thirty seconds? Honestly?

You're all evil and dark and scary. We get it. Now, put down the scythe, get a real weapon...

AND STOP QUOTING SONGS IN YOUR DAMNED MACROS!

Damn, I hate DRKs.

Hate them, hate them, hate them.

Hate.

 

[Neyla]

The GM equivelant to Smithy:
http://bannable-offenses.blogspot.com/

 

[Mai Ikari]

The GM equivelant to Smithy:
http://bannable-offenses.blogspot.com/

Botter>> OMG! Why am I level 30 again?
[GM]Dave>> It was weird.
[GM]Dave>> You kept on provoking Fafnir.
[GM]Dave>> All 183 times I raised you.
Botter>> Why?
[GM]Dave>> Well, the legal reason is "Botters get eaten by Dragons."
Botter>> I wasn't botting.
[GM]Dave>> So you sat there and kept provoking Fafnir.
[GM]Dave>> For four hours.
[GM]Dave>> Solo.
Botter>> This isn't my computer...

Possibly my favorite blog. For good reasons like that.

 

[Lanien]

Possibly my favorite blog. For good reasons like that.

lol I love that part too of that. I really wish GM's would act like that. There would be a lot less stupid people out there.


And that Last Resort part of the Goblin Smithy is something I have seen way to much of in Vana'diel lol

 

[Ronith]

Via Kirsteena, I got a link to A Smithy's Life, a "blog" by a lowly goblin smithy. Some great stuff in there. Well worth reading.

Here's a sample from his rant about DRKs:

....

....

....

....

....


............ WTF!

-_-; lol nice find but damnit I'M NOT EMO only stupid shit i got that's 'evil' in my macros is my Spiral Hell macro...

"The path of death is the only path!! (Spiral Hell)" that's it... damnit I'm not emo -_-;; LOL but nice find find me something about OTHER than DRK ranting D: btw... hallo hali <.<; I run into you everywhere now... you following me?...

 

[Nikoloi]

(-_\\\)

 

[Mortanis]

I agree that Dark Knight thing was pretty funny. But I am with Ronith on this one, I'm not freaking emo either!

The first job I leveled through the dunes was warrior, and while I was there noobing it up, I had mages in my parties that would say dumb things like, "By Altana's healing glory and light, I cure your wounds! <Cure1>" or, "By the hand of Altana, I shall revive you with the magical power of healing!" or whatever...and it was soooo annoying. I hated reading that crap EVERY freaking time they casted anything. So I vowed that I would never have lame crap in my macros ever.

Even if I had never seen those annoying mages type all that, I still would have never written any music lyrics or anything like that anyway. That's just so lame.

Imagine if your Redmage said stuff like, "Take me down to <Paralyze> city, where the grass is green and the <t>'s are pretty" or, "<Blind>ed by the light..." every freaking time, that crap would get so annoying REAL quick. Hahaha

 

[Ean]

heh, last i played DRK was when i first started. never deleted the macros, and didnt' really check them. Started doing the usual thing and realized I had all those weird /party "blah blah blah" (Last Resort) or "feed my soul something libalbh blah blah" Soul Eatter etc. I deleted them out ^^; but it was funny to look back at how I played in the begining ^^

Edit:::

"It's okay, officer. I'm a level 75 ninja."

XD

 

[Mishaela]

You guys say you're not emo but you all have like, freaky masks and evil dragons as avatars. =P

Has anyone seen my ass? It seems to have come off while I was laughing...

 

[Sabia]

You guys say you're not emo but you all have like, freaky masks and evil dragons as avatars. =P

Has anyone seen my ass? It seems to have come off while I was laughing...

Bwahahaha XD

 

[Ronith]

You guys say you're not emo but you all have like, freaky masks and evil dragons as avatars. =P

Has anyone seen my ass? It seems to have come off while I was laughing...

Um... how does that apply to me? Freaky Masks? DO you have any idea what that freaky mask is from? IT'S NOT F'CKING EMO goddamnit

I'm sorry, twas all in good fun, but I will not be called EMO or a Prep. I'm neither and I despise being generalized anyways, sorry Mish, but still don't call me a emo and don't generalize my SlipKnot Corey Taylor Ava. with emo kthx

Edit: Notice the new Avy
<---------

 

[Kyrial]

lol, it's just a joke Ronith, damn. No one is calling you, the player, emo. It's just job of DRK itself. And the related NPCs. And Volker, because he's just the most emo NPC I've ever seen. XD But I digress. Don't take it so personally.

And back on topic, that blog and the GM one were freaking hilarious. XD The writing style reminded me a lot of Brian Clevinger's. I could just see Black Mage saying that kinda stuff. XD

 

[Rappa]

No it's true, if you levelled drk as anything other than a subjob somewhere deep down inside of you, you're emo. You know at some point you had an emo macro for Last Resort. Don't lie.

 

[Ronith]

No it's true, if you levelled drk as anything other than a subjob somewhere deep down inside of you, you're emo. You know at some point you had an emo macro for Last Resort. Don't lie.

That was more of a maturity issue, rather than being emo or some stupid shit, like I said... if that was directed to me Rappa, don't generalize me, DO NOT please

 

[Rappa]

That was more of a maturity issue, rather than being emo or some stupid shit, like I said... if that was directed to me Rappa, don't generalize me, DO NOT please

So which are you gonna do now, write about me in your myspace or write a poem about me? Maybe I should write you a poem about having a sense of humour so you'll know what it's like.

 

[Ronith]

So which are you gonna do now, write about me in your myspace or write a poem about me? Maybe I should write you a poem about having a sense of humour so you'll know what it's like.

Actually I have a myspace, and it's not even mine, my girl made it for me, and regulates it, frankly I can't fucking stand it, but w/e you want man, do what you will, just don't fucking generalize me Deal? Deal!

And btw maybe if I could hear what you were saying rather than just reading it, it's kind of hard to sense sarcasm online there bud^^; if it really had a humorous undertone I woulda noticed, but IMO it didnt

 

[Grem]

This thread now comes in Angst flavour.

 

[Rappa]

How could you not pick up on the sarcasm of that, haha? Look at the sig, I've levelled drk to 75 too but I always make emo drk jokes with the ls and even on this site. There was a drk ls topic on the ls board and we all started joking about how emo it'd be. It's just a running joke that goes along with the job, don't be so quick to take offense. :biggrin:

 

[tonicfly]

i laughed so hard when i read this thank god im the only one at work right now

[GM]Dave>> Okay, you have all been brought here for being too stupid.
[GM]Dave>> You wanted a new area. Here's your new area.
[GM]Dave>> Try out the new quest "Don't Drop the Soap."
[GM]Dave>> Are there any questions?
Player573>> Uhh... when can we get out?
[GM]Dave>> There is no "out" anymore.
[GM]Dave>> There is only "in" now.
[GM]Dave>> You will come to accept it.
Player882>> Let us out!
[GM]Dave>> Remember, kill someone right away.
[GM]Dave>> That way you won't end up somebody's "bitch".
[GM]Dave>> Have you ever seen Prison Break?
Player1265>> You can't do this to us.
[GM]Dave>> I love that show.
[GM]Dave>> Scofield is awesome.
Player137>> plz let us out
[GM]Dave>> Did you just say "plz"?
[GM]Dave>> Poor grammar is frowned upon here in D block.
[GM]Dave>> Meet your new cellmate.

 

[Dowzer]

No it's true, if you levelled drk as anything other than a subjob somewhere deep down inside of you, you're emo. You know at some point you had an emo macro for Last Resort. Don't lie.

Cut my life into pieces?

With that sense of logic......


......Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings.

So it's true, if you want to level up Puppet Master as anything other than a subjob somewhere deep down inside of you, you're a metalhead. You know at some point you'll make a Metallica macro for animating your automation. Don't lie.



=)