Goblin Smithy's Blog

tonicfly said:
i laughed so hard when i read this thank god im the only one at work right now

[GM]Dave>> Okay, you have all been brought here for being too stupid.
[GM]Dave>> You wanted a new area. Here's your new area.
[GM]Dave>> Try out the new quest "Don't Drop the Soap."
[GM]Dave>> Are there any questions?
Player573>> Uhh... when can we get out?
[GM]Dave>> There is no "out" anymore.
[GM]Dave>> There is only "in" now.
[GM]Dave>> You will come to accept it.
Player882>> Let us out!
[GM]Dave>> Remember, kill someone right away.
[GM]Dave>> That way you won't end up somebody's "bitch".
[GM]Dave>> Have you ever seen Prison Break?
Player1265>> You can't do this to us.
[GM]Dave>> I love that show.
[GM]Dave>> Scofield is awesome.
Player137>> plz let us out
[GM]Dave>> Did you just say "plz"?
[GM]Dave>> Poor grammar is frowned upon here in D block.
[GM]Dave>> Meet your new cellmate.
Click to expand...

That is good. The second part is better.

Jormungand uses You Got a Purdy Mouth.
Player137 takes 32,841 points of damage.
Player137 was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> Are there any more questions?
[GM]Dave>> I take your silence as cautious acceptance.
[GM]Dave>> Or the fact that I disabled your tells.
[GM]Dave>> Can I help you with anything else today?
 
Dowzer said:
Cut my life into pieces?

With that sense of logic......


......Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings.

So it's true, if you want to level up Puppet Master as anything other than a subjob somewhere deep down inside of you, you're a metalhead. You know at some point you'll make a Metallica macro for animating your automation. Don't lie.



=)
Click to expand...

Now that... I don't mind :P

Metallica > All
 
Smithy needs to stab some of you in the face the next time you go through the jungles on new jobs.
 
Aw man it seems that its the same guy that writes goblin smithy and [GM] dave and from what he said on the last post on each that he might stop writing. Thats a big downer cuz im been laughing my ass off at the content in those blogs
 
GM]Dave>> Heya, Tak.
[GM]Dave>> Where have you been?
[GM]Takana>> You blocked my IP.
[GM]Dave>> Did I?
[GM]Dave>> I don't remember doing that.
[GM]Takana>>Yes, you did it after I tried to get you fired.
[GM]Takana>> For abusing players.
[GM]Dave>> Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
[GM]Dave>> Nope. Doesn't ring any bells.
[GM]Dave>> So... how've you been?
[GM]Takana>> Listen, you bastard, I'm not here to chat.
[GM]Dave>> Well, I don't really feel like exping right now.
[GM]Dave>> (( I'm sorry. )) (( I'm playing solo right now. ))
[GM]Takana>> I don't want to party.
[GM]Dave>> Then why did you ask?
[GM]Takana>> I didn't.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, you did.
[GM]Dave>> That's why I said I don't feel like exping.
[GM]Dave>> Why would I say that if you didn't ask?
[GM]Takana>> I didn't ask you to party.
[GM]Dave>> Seems to me that I'd only say that if you asked me.
[GM]Dave>> Doesn't really make sense the other way.
[GM]Takana>> I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO!
[GM]Dave>> To what?
[GM]Takana>> Party.
[GM]Dave>> Well, I don't really feel like exping right now.
[GM]Dave>> (( I'm sorry. )) (( I'm playing solo right now. ))
[GM]Takana>> I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO PARTY!
[GM]Dave>> Not this again...
[GM]Dave>> Okay... you didn't ask me to party.
[GM]Takana>> There. That's better.
[GM]Dave>> Suuuurrrrrrrrrrrre you didn't.
[GM]Takana>> SHUT UP, YOU RETARD!
[GM]Takana>> SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!
[GM]Dave>> Wow, Tak. Simmer down a bit.
[GM]Takana>> STOP CALLING ME TAK!
[GM]Takana>> I HATE YOU, YOU PRICK!
[GM]Dave>> Tak... Can I call you Tak?
[GM]Takana>> I WILL END YOU!
[GM]Dave>> Tak, that was highly unnecessary.
[GM]Dave>> Such language is against GM rules of conduct.
[GM]Dave>> I'm afraid I have to report you.
[GM]Takana>> WHAT?!
[GM]Takana>> YOU'RE REPORTING ME?!
[GM]Dave>> Sadly, I must.
[GM]Dave>> I can't help but feel partly responsible.
[GM]Takana>> PARTLY?!!!
[GM]Dave>> If only I had gone partying when you asked.
[GM]Dave>> None of this would have happened.
[GM]Takana>> YOU SON OF A BITCH!
[GM]Takana>> I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO!
[GM]Dave>> Didn't ask me to what?
[GM]Takana>> PARTY
[GM]Dave>> Well, I don't really feel like exping right now.
[GM]Dave>> (( I'm sorry. )) (( I'm playing solo right now. ))
[GM]Takana>> DIE!
[GM]Dave>> Can I help you with anything else today?



My sides hurt from laughing at this one XD
 
Smithy's Got A Way With The Ladies
Even goblins get lonely sometimes.

I mean, we spend all of our time lurking in the jungles or skulking through huge empty caverns.

It gets depressing.

I'd think of my wife, but then it just gets more depressing.

So, when a group of all female adventurers ran by me in the jungle today, I decided to throw on some of the old Smithy charm and check them out.

Maybe if I was lucky, I could give a new meaning to the old "face stab".

You know what I'm saying?

You know?

You don't know.

Anyway...

I run up to them and decide the best way to get their attention is to stab one of them in the back of the head.

Don't worry though. I picked the ugly one.

If I'd stabbed her in the front of the head, it would have been doing her a favor.

So, the whole group whips around and forms a circle around me.

Oh yeah. There's enough Smithy to go around.

Ninja>> Provoke --> Goblin Smithy
Thief>> Let me get in position.
RedMage>> Careful. He's IT++.
GoblinSmithy>> So are you, baby.
BlackMage>> ...
BlackMage>> wtf was that?
GoblinSmithy>> If I cast tractor on you...
GoblinSmithy>> would you let me move your body?
Warrior>> Someone kill me.
WhiteMage>> Oh my god...
GoblinSmithy>> Did you just cast raise?
GoblinSmithy>> Cause I feel something raising.
Ninja>> Is he...
Ninja>> He's hitting on us.
RedMage>> This isn't going to end well.
GoblinSmithy>> It could end with breakfast in bed...
GoblinSmithy>> If you play your cards right.
Thief>> I'm going to SATA Shadowstitch him.
Thief>> Then we can all run for it.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't know what you're doing back there.
Thief>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> But you really should buy me dinner first.
Thief>> I'm going to vomit.
Ninja>> ZONE!
GoblinSmithy>> Playing hard to get?
Ninja>> ZONEZONEZONE!

Turns out they were just a bunch of teases. They get me all warmed up and then take off running.

I have feelings too, you know.

At least, I think I do.

I mean, I laugh when people get stabbed. That's almost a feeling, right?

In the end, I felt the best way for me to communicate my feelings of unhappiness to their group was to stab each of them in the spine.

Tough love.
Click to expand...
omg this is my favorite blog of all time
 
Claudhert said:
omg this is my favorite blog of all time
Click to expand...

Agreed, when I read that entry at home... I was very glad I was at home, because I was laughing uncontrollably for the next 3 minutes.
 
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