Has anyone been through this?

[Atrbiohazard]

I guess this is what you would say is unbelievable unless you personally experience it but let me explain.

I could be enjoying something, like a great exp party, talking to Dowzer, playing another game, studying after just getting an A+ on a test, whatever. Suddenly it's like a haze falls over me and bad thoughts go through my mind. I don't think about them. It's almost like I'm being forced to think about it. It's of how bad my life is (I know it isn't bad) and that suicide is the only thing I can do now and I should just get it done and over with. Then I'll break down crying and then have no feelings what so ever. Then when I walk through the kitchen, I'll pick up a knife unwillingly but somehow I regain control and put it away before I do any damage to myself. It's been happening for the last two months, once to twice a week, and can last anywhere from 15 minutes to 48 hours.

My last one was four to five days ago. I was sitting here chatting with a friend. He had me laughing so hard. Suddenly, a ton of "my life sucks" thoughts go flying through my head and I go in to some depressed trance or something. I end up crying then went numb to everything. I walked out to the kitchen to grab a drink in hopes to regain control of my thoughts and when I snapped out of it, I was holding a knife.

It's pretty much something taking over my mind and body and I can't do anything about it.

I forced myself to go to a psychologist a week ago to see what she thought and what I should do. I didn't care if I was going to be stuck in a mental hospital until it was over. I don't want to die so anything that would of helped, I would of done willingly. I told her exactly what happened. Even ended up having one right in front of her when we were chatting about a ton of good things going on. She told me it's a normal teenager thing. That she sees it a lot and that I will always snap out of it before anything happens. It's just because my life is changing. It will end soon enough. Didn't prescribe(sp?) me anything.

I went to the hospital a few days later to get it checked out and get another opinion. They told me the same thing.

I know I have RL problems, but not a lot. Like, my mom and her shit, my brother in laws shit, money, etc. But everyone has problems and many have worse yet I've never seen anyone have this.

Me and Dowzer are scared about this. I have a lot going for me in the future. I have more good than bad going on right now. Hell, my birthday is in 19 days and I don't want this shit happening on my birthday.

I was just hoping someone on here has possibly had this and could give me their insight on what happened, how long it lasted, and what they did to calm it down or get it to stop. It's driving me nuts. Even people who haven't had this happen are welcome to give opinions/advice.

I know most of the people who read this are going to think I'm psycho, but I'm not. Feel free to have that opinion of me, though.

No, I've never thought of suicide before. No, I've never had this happen before. No, I've never had any mental issues. No, I don't drink or do drugs. I haven't been in trouble with the law in a few years (unless you want to count them taking me to court once a month for a year and a half because they couldn't accept the fact I was dropping public school for home schooling). I enjoy my life. I love studying. I play games I love. I have good friends. I have my nephew. I have my sister (even when we don't get along). I'm not poor but I'm not rich, either. I have my uncle and my "step dad" (he took me in for a year and a half when my parents couldn't handle me way back when) who would kick my ass if I got off track. I just love my life.

I greatly appreciate any opinions/suggestions/advice that anyone gives. I know I could handle this myself but I want to get it over with ASAP to get this off of Dowzer's mind. I know how hard it has to be for him to know this is happening. Thank you.

 

[Raesvelg]

To be honest, it sounds a little like clinical depression with some anxiety related issues. If you honestly can't figure out a reason for it, and therapy doesn't seem to help, then you might want to consider *asking* for some form of medication.

As a general rule, psychiatrists are becoming increasingly leery of prescribing drugs to teenagers though. Lots of question as to whether or not the drugs interact properly and all that.

A low dose of Paxil CR might help, perhaps. Or an "on-demand" med like Xanax or something.

Another part of the problem with drugs like these, however, is that they're addictive as all hell, no matter what they tell you in the commercial. So they're not something you want to mess around with unless you're positive you need them.

Aside from that, the most I can offer is some mild meditation techniques. Sit down, get comfortable, breathe in for 3 seconds, then breath out for 3 seconds. Just focus on that, try to shut out ALL thoughts, good and bad. Count your hearbeats if that helps.

 

[Myst]

I agree with the psychologists that this is a normal thing, but I would say for everyone in general, just not teenagers.

I've been having trances close to that for as long as I can remember. They happen to me more when I'm tired than anything else. For me, fatigue makes me think about the negative things in life.
My life is pretty good, but there are things that are negative, major things which I'd rather not get into, nothing serious, which make me enter that trance state myself.

I understand the whole suicide thing. I've had those thoughts too when I start thinking too much. I've seen it from a lot of friends also who I console for the same thing.
I'm someone who's been near death many times, for various reasons, usually beyond my control. That's why so many confide in me.

I don't have the break down and crying part personally, but I've been through the numbness and no feelings part.
The knife part isn't something to worry about from what I've read already. I haven't done the knife part myself, but I've come pretty close with my katana. (I've practiced Kendo for about 12 or 13 years now, hence I own a steel katana.)
As I said in another post, suicide is something for people who have nothing left to hold on to, and you seem to have something that you want to hold on to. Find what that is and you should solve this part.

Perhaps right now you're going through a stressful time about something seemingly minor that you don't realize. That could be why you're experiencing this on a non-predictable basis, just when that situation overwhelms your conscious.

I've seen that quick transition between happy to depressed many times in conversations with friends. It's nothing out of the usual.

Another idea that comes to my mind is that perhaps there's something missing in your life, so as soon as you start focusing on the positive, you realize you're missing something else that could make your life "perfect", and the positive doesn't seem too significant anymore.

"It will end soon enough."
I hope so. I just turned 19 yesterday and it's more of a problem for me than it was when I was younger.
Perhaps this is where the psychologist may be wrong. Perhaps it'll end when you figure out what's bothering you and find a solution to it. It's more difficult, but this seems to be one of those things that time can't solve. Working at it will solve this permanently, as opposed to a risk of a limited time solution.

Your fear about this happening on your birthday.
Here's my hint which is working for me. Keep yourself busy. If you keep your mind off of the topic, then you'll be ok for a long while.
It's working pretty well for me. I was really frustrated about my birthday coming up, even up to the night before, but once the day came, I kept it busy and forgot about things altogether.
I find it's a temporary solution until I get a chance to think again. Then everything floods back. As I joke with friends, "to think is not a good thing for me to do."

I don't think you're a psycho. I think that you just have some minor things to solve on your own in your life. Talking about it will help you solve these things. Getting in different opinions and the like. It may let you see things in a different light.

If you ever want to talk in a non-public situation, perhaps it may help to just vent and get out everything negative in your life to someone who won't judge you in the long run, because they have no clue who you are, feel free to send me a /tell (to Mystix in game) or send me a private message over QCDN.

This will pass in time, but it will require some work. You aren't crazy and most of all, you aren't alone. This is something that others go through also. I've seen it many times, and I'm always willing to help.

Edit: I don't agree with Raesvelg's idea of the drugs. That's only a temporary solution. I've seen 2 friends specifically who've been on drugs for something similiar.
One solved her problems on her own. She doesn't need the drugs. This is where my solution of finding what it is that is bothering you and solve that problem partially comes from.
The other has been on the drugs for a while and has had no progress what-so-ever. He's been trying it my way, and is very close to recovery, but not quite there yet.

The mediation might be a good thing, however I haven't found it to work. It's just given me time to think about things, which goes wrongs all over again. It may work for you. It may not. Try it out, see what happens.

 

[Miruyasha]

hmm...these seem to be symptoms of manic depression. i may be wrong to give a psychological analysis to someone (i'm 16, but i wanna be a psychologist when i go to college, go figure :roll, but i'm just calling it like i see it. Raes is right about prescription drugs being addictive as hell, however I have A.D.D. and i take ritalin for it, which when freebased can be injected as i believe oxycontin(sp? or even wrong word, i'm not up on drugs cuz i don't do them). your psychologist is prolly right about it being a normal teenager thing, but not thoughts that bad like you said. as far as what to do, i can't exactly say. 16 year olds shouldn't say if ppl should be on drugs or not for something. just try to ride it out, even though it seems like it's really hard for you and Dowzer, just try to do it. maybe just knowing that everythings ok during one of these "low points" may just help a little bit. i'm sorry i wasn't of any real help, but i try to help ppl out with things like this. i hope you find a way to get through this.

 

[Hrunther]

hmm...these seem to be symptoms of manic depression. i may be wrong to give a psychological analysis to someone (i'm 16, but i wanna be a psychologist when i go to college, go figure :roll, but i'm just calling it like i see it. Raes is right about prescription drugs being addictive as hell, however I have A.D.D. and i take ritalin for it, which when freebased can be injected as i believe oxycontin(sp? or even wrong word, i'm not up on drugs cuz i don't do them). your psychologist is prolly right about it being a normal teenager thing, but not thoughts that bad like you said. as far as what to do, i can't exactly say. 16 year olds shouldn't say if ppl should be on drugs or not for something. just try to ride it out, even though it seems like it's really hard for you and Dowzer, just try to do it. maybe just knowing that everythings ok during one of these "low points" may just help a little bit. i'm sorry i wasn't of any real help, but i try to help ppl out with things like this. i hope you find a way to get through this.

I don't know where you heard manic-depression is like this, but it isn't. My sister married into a family with it, it is much different, after "babysitting" if you can call it that the children with it you can tell it is a completely different world.

Having said that.....

Depression (clinical or sparatic) + stress has spawned similar things in quite a few people that i know about. Take a background issue and multiply it. Suddenly it isn't a background or minor issue.

Word of advice i learned from my brother in law is to NOT believe everything (edit ><) from even well know sources (edit...). what you read on the internet of a diagnosis, for a few reasons.

1. self diagnosis is dangerous in the sense that it is hard to get an outside view of yourself. and percieve things differnetly than they may be.

2. many sites are funded by drug companties or natural competitors and hard to know how their statements are slanted. As with any doctor finding onw you feel listens and is intelligent is the key.
Readign somethign you don't really know where it came from, but a doctor will know the research behind something.

Once you have someone to guide you, then self researchign becomes and entirely different thing. You have some way of gauging and someone to take things you find to.

/shrug advice to take or leave.

goodluck

 

[Dowzer]

First of all, thank you all for having concern and lending your help. It's all greatly appreciated..though I can't agree with all suggestions, I can agree with most of Myst's. It seems you have a first and third person view on problems like this..I really respect you for being open with that..I've had friends who have had problems like this, but unless you're really close to someone it's hard to know what they feel.

I feel kind of helpless since I haven't really experienced anything like this...and if I've been depressed, it's been mildly at the most and not out of the blue/randomly. Problems like this can be difficult because I don't want to assume things that I've never experienced....That's why I really can't thank you enough Myst, for posting personal related exp's.

Bio, I don't think you could commit suicide, but I'm still very worried..I think our plans in the next month or so can overcome this..but that doesn't mean I'm not going to worry about you.

I really can't thank you guys enough for your concern, any other suggestions, advice, or opinions would be really appreciated.

 

[Atrbiohazard]

To be honest, it sounds a little like clinical depression with some anxiety related issues. If you honestly can't figure out a reason for it, and therapy doesn't seem to help, then you might want to consider *asking* for some form of medication.

As a general rule, psychiatrists are becoming increasingly leery of prescribing drugs to teenagers though. Lots of question as to whether or not the drugs interact properly and all that.

A low dose of Paxil CR might help, perhaps. Or an "on-demand" med like Xanax or something.

Another part of the problem with drugs like these, however, is that they're addictive as all hell, no matter what they tell you in the commercial. So they're not something you want to mess around with unless you're positive you need them.

Aside from that, the most I can offer is some mild meditation techniques. Sit down, get comfortable, breathe in for 3 seconds, then breath out for 3 seconds. Just focus on that, try to shut out ALL thoughts, good and bad. Count your hearbeats if that helps.

Really, the only way I'll take medication, is if it's a last resort. I was diagnosed bi-polar a long time ago and they gave me Zoloft which made me "out of it", sleep 18 hours, everything. We decided to stop the medication and I've been fine since. I dislike taking any medication because I don't have the strongest stomach to it. Aspirin and Ibuprofen even upset my stomach and I can only handle 1 naproxen. Can't take pepto-bismol. It doesn't help besides making me lose everything I have eaten in the last 48 hours. Sad, isn't it? -.-

As for the meditation thing, I never have time. I have 2 dogs that rarely shut up, have my god-daughter (she's not even a year old) over a lot, and just a ton of noise where I can't consentrate.

I agree with the psychologists that this is a normal thing, but I would say for everyone in general, just not teenagers.

That's how me and her got in to an arguement. She said only teenagers have it. Many psychological/mental and physical issues that teens have, adults can have, too. I hear "it's a teenager thing" for everything now. -.-

I've been having trances close to that for as long as I can remember. They happen to me more when I'm tired than anything else. For me, fatigue makes me think about the negative things in life.

I may not have the best sleeping schedule (I go from sleeping nights and up days to sleeping days. Pretty much can go to bed at any hour and sleep til whatever time) but I get plenty of sleep. I've learned to be able to tune out the dogs and my god-daughter (except the cry that she needs something.. only one I don't tune out) so I sleep longer now. I do feel shitty a lot now because of it. I was used to 2-3 hours of sleep every other day and now that I'm getting 8-10 hours a day, I feel sick a lot and can not wake myself up for hours after I get up. That'll go away once I'm used to it, though.

I understand the whole suicide thing. I've had those thoughts too when I start thinking too much. I've seen it from a lot of friends also who I console for the same thing.
I'm someone who's been near death many times, for various reasons, usually beyond my control. That's why so many confide in me.

I've been in near death situations quite a few times and in many "should of been dead" situations, too. That's what has gotten me to see that my life does not suck, I do not want to die, and I have a pretty damn good life compared to many.

As I said in another post, suicide is something for people who have nothing left to hold on to, and you seem to have something that you want to hold on to. Find what that is and you should solve this part.

I know of many things/people I treasure and want to hold on to. Suicide is not an option for me. I refuse to let myself think it is.

Perhaps right now you're going through a stressful time about something seemingly minor that you don't realize. That could be why you're experiencing this on a non-predictable basis, just when that situation overwhelms your conscious.

I look at minor problems as "if it's something I can't fix, it's just a part of life" so I don't exactly have any minor problems. I have a few major problems but I can't exactly fix them or I would of already. Family issues. Yay. -.-

I've seen that quick transition between happy to depressed many times in conversations with friends. It's nothing out of the usual.

I'm used to quick mood transitions. When I was bi-polar I could be happy one minute, sad the next, angry the next, then excited the next. According to my old psychologist, my bi-polar "went away".

Another idea that comes to my mind is that perhaps there's something missing in your life, so as soon as you start focusing on the positive, you realize you're missing something else that could make your life "perfect", and the positive doesn't seem too significant anymore.

No one's life is perfect. There's always at least one problem. I don't look to make my life perfect. I look to see what I can do to make it better. If it's something I can't do, oh well. That means it's not supposed to be part of my life. Maybe when I can do it later, it can be, but until then, oh well. If I'm missing something, I try to bring it in to my life. If I can't, then I'm not supposed to have it yet/ever. That's my look on that part of life.

Perhaps this is where the psychologist may be wrong. Perhaps it'll end when you figure out what's bothering you and find a solution to it. It's more difficult, but this seems to be one of those things that time can't solve. Working at it will solve this permanently, as opposed to a risk of a limited time solution.

I think that's what she meant by "it will end soon enough". Soon enough being once I figure out what's causing it and I fix it, it will end. Happy belated birthday by the way!

Here's my hint which is working for me. Keep yourself busy. If you keep your mind off of the topic, then you'll be ok for a long while.
It's working pretty well for me. I was really frustrated about my birthday coming up, even up to the night before, but once the day came, I kept it busy and forgot about things altogether.
I find it's a temporary solution until I get a chance to think again. Then everything floods back. As I joke with friends, "to think is not a good thing for me to do."

I try to stay busy all the time. If I don't do anything, I go insane.

As for trying not to think, that's hard to do for me. My mind is always at work with something or another.

I don't think you're a psycho. I think that you just have some minor things to solve on your own in your life. Talking about it will help you solve these things. Getting in different opinions and the like. It may let you see things in a different light.

I know I have some things to solve. I also know talking about it and getting opinions will help which is why I posted about it.

If you ever want to talk in a non-public situation, perhaps it may help to just vent and get out everything negative in your life to someone who won't judge you in the long run, because they have no clue who you are, feel free to send me a /tell (to Mystix in game) or send me a private message over QCDN.

Remember, this is the internet. I'll be judged no matter what I do. If I don't say it on here, people will think I'm hiding something or something stupid. If I do put it on here, they'll judge me about what was put. Either way it doesn't matter. Might as well type it on here. That way I don't have 800 people asking me in game "what is wrong??". [See bottom of this post.]

hmm...these seem to be symptoms of manic depression. i may be wrong to give a psychological analysis to someone (i'm 16, but i wanna be a psychologist when i go to college, go figure :roll, but i'm just calling it like i see it.

You're not analyzing. You're giving your opinion which in my first post I said anyone is welcome to. I'm 16, too (til june 30th x.X). I'm glad to see someone wants to be a psychologist. They help many people.

I was thinking depression, too, but I don't really have much to be depressed about.

Raes is right about prescription drugs being addictive as hell, however I have A.D.D. and i take ritalin for it, which when freebased can be injected as i believe oxycontin(sp? or even wrong word, i'm not up on drugs cuz i don't do them).

As I said above, medication would be my last resort because I know how addictive they can be.

By the way, you're going to have to learn all the different medications and how to spell them soon when you go to college, you might as well start now to get ahead.

http://www.medications.com

16 year olds shouldn't say if ppl should be on drugs or not for something.

16 year olds are allowed to give their opinion no matter what others thinks. I don't care if a 11 year old or a 78 year old gave their opinion. All opinions are much appreciated. Don't be afraid to give exactly what you think about the situation because of your age. If you do that, you're never going to get very far in life and you'll always be a follower instead of a leader. Heck, one day if you voice your opinion on something, they might take it instead because it's better. I'd love to hear your full opinion on the matter.

just try to ride it out, even though it seems like it's really hard for you and Dowzer, just try to do it. maybe just knowing that everythings ok during one of these "low points" may just help a little bit.

I'm currently just trying to ride it out until I figure out what's wrong and can fix it.

~~~~~~~~~

As for my current problems in life, they aren't too too bad but I'll put them here. Anyone is free to judge, opinionate, or label me because of them.

-My mother. She's way too stuck on herself. Her and my dad finalized the divorce almost a year ago which I know was for the better because when all three of us were around each other, we'd constantly fight. If only two of us, we were fine. Well, since the divorce, she's been with a ton of men and keeps hiding things from me and my sister (Bluemoons).
First man she was with was some guy she met over the internet who she visited when she dropped me off at my sisters. After that stay, she came back, and soon he was flirting with me which I told my mother and she broke it off with him and told him she would take him to court if he kept his crap up. The only non-dumb thing she's done.
Second man was another she met on the internet. They didn't last very long. She visited him one day for 2 hours and left him because he had a huge black lab which reminded her of our dog we put to sleep 2 years ago that we had had for 12 years.
Third was yet another she met on the internet. I might as well just say now she met them all on the internet. She ended up moving with him [while I was still at my sisters] and was all fine. She took my dog with her and pawn shopped a lot of my valuables ($9,000 worth) to be able to afford moving. They got another dog, which I have now, while they were up there and she left HIM because he fed the 2nd dog a small bit of coffee.
Fourth man she left because he wouldn't buy her groceries (she had only known him 4 days).
Fifth man she pretty much moved with. I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally liked this guy and hoped they would stay together. He had a wife who passed away a year before they hooked up and had a daughter and two sons. She was with him 99.9% of her time for 2 months then left him because he still had pictures of his late wife.
Sixth man she used for money then when he didn't have the money to buy her a necklace she wanted (he had already spent thousands on her), she left.
Her current, seventh man, she is living with. He's a truck driver and she travels with him. I have no problem with that. The only problems I have with it is that the day she met him (3 weeks after meeting him on the internet), they got engaged. And that she is too busy traveling to visit me or my sister in which we have only spoken to her two - three times in the last four months and that was over the internet because she's too damn lazy to call. She's ignoring me right now on MSN as I type this.

-My father. The only problem I have with him is he yells too much. He dropped one french fry he was cooking the other day and it turned in to this yelling match. He was screaming at me for it. He was screaming at his hand threatening to break it. Drives me nuts.

-My sister. She lies too much. Almost every word out of her mouth is a lie. One example being that she tells everyone, including our parents, that her husband (Lazarious) punched her while I was living there. I was with one or the other all the time and he never hit her. He couldn't. His hands are registered weapons due to being a black belt in Kenpo.

-My other sister. I have absolutely nothing against her. The thing that stresses me out is that I've only seen her four times in my entire life, each being a week long. She's my role model and I never get to see her.

-My ex boyfriend. This is going to be hard to tell but I'm getting over it slowly. I dated him for 9 months and during the full 9 months, I was beat by him. One night he tried to rape me but I got him off, ended it, and took him to court for attempted rape. Since there were no bruises or anything from it because I had gotten him off to prove it, no files were charged. A few months later, he attempted to rape me again and the same thing happened. I took him to court, case was dropped because of no evidence, and he was free to go. I tried to take him to court to get a restraining order on him but that case was dropped as well when there was "no sufficient evidence that he was breaking the law to file the restraining order on the defendant". A few weeks ago, he tried it AGAIN. I let him beat me up a bit. Just enough for some bruises then got away. Took him to court with my evidence, got him thrown in jail for 2 years (which he only spent a week in and was released), and got a restraining order. Now that he's out, he's stalking me still.

-College! Ok, I know I'm still in school for my high school diploma but I've been doing a lot of university and college research to see what one/s I want to go to. I want to be a lawyer so Notre Dame for pre-law then Harvard for Law is about the best way to go. The only problem being is if I'll have the money and if I actually want to go to these schools. That's stressing me out a tad.

-Money. Of course. I am not poor, but not rich, either. I have enough for what I need and an occasional "what I want". I can't get a job because I don't have a car and I can't get a car because I don't have a liscence and don't have a job to pay for it right now. I'll be getting my liscence back in a few weeks now that they took it away because the law changed from 16 years old to 17. So I'm stuck in a never ending loop here. -.-

Other than those, I'm fine.

 

[Atrbiohazard]

Part 2 of above post

Depression (clinical or sparatic) + stress has spawned similar things in quite a few people that i know about. Take a background issue and multiply it. Suddenly it isn't a background or minor issue.

I agree.

Word of advice i learned from my brother in law is to NOT believe everything (edit ><) from even well know sources (edit...). what you read on the internet of a diagnosis, for a few reasons.

No but you really can't trust doctors, either. I'd rather get a few opinions on the matter on the internet than just going straight to a doctor and doing what he says when there could be another way.

I don't trust doctors much anymore. Especially since when I went to the hospital a month or so ago because I was having a hard time breathe, sharp pains in my chest, and shaking, and it took them 4 hours to say that I was having abdominal pain. That's all they could say. I turn around and ask a few people that I know and they gave me better ideas about what happened which one of them when I asked my family doctor was correct.

1. self diagnosis is dangerous in the sense that it is hard to get an outside view of yourself. and percieve things differnetly than they may be.

Understood but I still try to get as many opinions as possible online and offline.

2. many sites are funded by drug companties or natural competitors and hard to know how their statements are slanted. As with any doctor finding onw you feel listens and is intelligent is the key.
Readign somethign you don't really know where it came from, but a doctor will know the research behind something.

http://www.webmd.com

Once you have someone to guide you, then self researchign becomes and entirely different thing. You have some way of gauging and someone to take things you find to.

I agree.

/shrug advice to take or leave.

goodluck

Thanks for giving your insight. Much appreciated.

Bio, I don't think you could commit suicide, but I'm still very worried..I think our plans in the next month or so can overcome this..but that doesn't mean I'm not going to worry about you.

You know I won't commit suicide. I think it will help a lot because I'll have someone here to talk to about problems like this and can better help me to fix them.

 

[Strid]

I could say alot as I was in this same situation from 2000-2004 minus suicide. I always keep in mind I have something to live for. I could spend hours writing or talking about solutions but I wont for they may not be right for you and seem a little far fetched. I will though tell you this. I hope you can break free from your troubles in life. Concern yourself with yourself until you are fine then go try and help if so desired. You have to be personally safe before you can bring aid to the family as well. If you think you have a bright future don't end it...you never know why you are here or how important of a role you might play on someone later. We weren't put here to take ourselves out. We were put here to serve a purpose. Also, no regrets what don't kill you makes you stronger. Old saying I know but trust me it's true. I don't regret nor would I, if I could go back in time, changed what happened to me but only to my sister...My sticking it out saved her...like I said you never know why you are here or what you will bring to others in need later in life. Please hang in there please...

Dowzer, you're a good man for helping through this and being so kind...most people would simply run but not you. Much respect bro. The best thing for some people in these situations is to feel needed and loved. All you gotta do is be there bro. Times may get unbearable for you and hurt but just hang on, don't let go at all cost. Good luck to you as well.

Life can deal some harshness but ultimatly we decide how to turn it around.

I'll end on something I use to tell my father duing these times... "Sometimes the best thing to do is not always the "right" thing to do."

Good luck to the both of you.

 

[Darkdante]

wow

Do you eat right? Have bad diet fast food and such. Sleeping late everyday does wonders on your brain trust me.

Try eating better and sleeping at 10pm every nite. I know for a fact that when I sleep late and don't take care of my health it does affect my mental health lots. Meaning I get a bad case of the grouchies, day dream, carparl tunnel syndrom, and all that.

You'd be amazed at how much simple things in life can affect you, lets hope its that easy.

 

[Darkdante]

double post ><

 

[Corrosion]

I've had some problems similar to this where I'm feeling good, and then all of a sudden I feel like shit, just not to the level you do. When I start feeling really shitty like this, I give my girlfriend a call, and we go out to lunch or for a coffee and just talk about it. She always makes me feel better, so the feelings go away fairly quickly.

I don't know if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend to talk to about this, but if you do, you should. Whenever you feel that dark feeling coming over you, give him/her a call and talk through it with them.

Thats all the advice I can give I guess...

EDIT: Its early, my spelling/grammar sucks...

 

[Aubrie]

I wasn't on here a few days but thought I'd still make a post.

I skimmed through the posts and read most til my eyes started hurting but, I'm bipolar myself and do go through this sort of thing once in a while. I've been bipolar since I was 13, am currently 18. It's been a year or two since I had the suicidal thoughts though. I do go into trance like states, stress about things, think bad thoughts even though things are going good. It's hard to deal with, was worse years before, but I'm getting through it.

I am on treatments right now, lithium and therapy. But my doctors say I'm leaned more towards the depression part of bipolar disorder and am working to get on some anti-depressants also. I was also on Zoloft like you, and had the exact same effects you did, and stopped it. I was told later that Zoloft is an anti-depressant and not supposed to be prescribed to people with bipolar disorder, alone as an only treatment, from my current doctor. I don't know if it's true or not honestly.

Best I can say is try a different doctor. Try to find out what's going on. Try not to stress about it, it could make it worse.

One last thing. my doctors seem to know what they are doing, all the ones I had gone to before gave me the run around and put me on meds that made me worse, so I have faith in what they tell me and that they are trying to help. I read you don't trust doctors too much but, If you would like I can run the situation by them when I go in this week and see what they say about it. It might give a little more clarity to the situation. Send me a pm or reply if you would like me to.

If not I wish you the best of luck, and try to not stress about things. I know personally it usually makes it worse. Hope your birthday goes well. And Dowzer you're a great guy for being there during this. I know it helps a lot to have someone around when things like this happen.

 

[Hrunther]

Re: Part 2 of above post

Word of advice i learned from my brother in law is to NOT believe everything (edit ><) from even well know sources (edit...). what you read on the internet of a diagnosis, for a few reasons.

No but you really can't trust doctors, either. I'd rather get a few opinions on the matter on the internet than just going straight to a doctor and doing what he says when there could be another way.

I[/quote]

Eh not typed out well but you got the idea. NO you can't trust all doctors, but ideally you find a competnent one ><b. And all good doctors will suggest a secondary opinion on any major changes/situation (as far as i have found so far anyway). Etc etc....

 

[Farys]

Hi Alt,

I've read most of the post... yours mostly since it's about your pbs.

A lot of ppl in here are right about what you should try to do and think. Getting over this shit with the help of those who love you and by yourself will net you a total recovery and some kind of "true-sight"/wisdom on Life only true winners and wonderful human beings can achieve.

I've read your story and all I can advise you is : drop the dark corners of your life.
Forget about your mother, take your distance with your father, avoid your sister, try to tie bounds with your other sister. You're almost 19 and though it may be a bit young, it is time you find your own balance of things, it's time for you to build your own family and shelter.
I'm not talking about getting married and having a dozen children but try to get out of that family. You won't be a quiter or a bad girl by doing this, you'll be more of a self-made woman

I know that with the help of true friends and families you can do this. You'll find yourself quite busy by doing this and before you know it you'll have forget about this darkest thoughts and find yourself in a place where you'll be the leader not the actor of your life.
It may sound a bit like stupid manual's advice but my g/f has done that at your age. Sometimes family is not there for your good.

I wish you the best and do not hesitate to send me a tell if you want to talk