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Wacky September Events
Sept. 4
What: Rubber Duck Regatta
Where: Cincinnati
http://www.rubberduckregatta.org/
A $5 bet on Giacomo in this year's Kentucky Derby would have netted more than $250. But that's lunch money compared to what the same bet could win in the Rubber Duck Regatta, an annual tradition at Riverfest. For a $5 adoption fee that goes right to charity, you're given a number corresponding to a rubber ducky dumped into the Ohio River for a fast-paced (depending on wind and water conditions, of course), quarter-mile sprint. Last year's winner found herself the owner of a new truck, with runners-up taking home a $1,000 savings bond. Not bad for a race that's a huge benefit event for Freestore/Foodbank. You'll find plenty of competition on the river: up to 100,000 ducks will duke it out. That's a little more than one for every three Cincinnati residents
Sept. 9-11
What: Frog Leg Eating Contest
Where: Rayne, La.
http://www.rayne.org/frog_fest.html
Rayne is bullish on frogs. Queens kiss them, kids jump them, Dads race them and tadpoles are stars. Not only did Lafayette's neighbor to the west gain fame for exporting the green leapers to restaurants, the city plays host to a three-day blowout Frog Festival. Kick things off early with no-admission family night carnival rides on Wednesday and Thursday. Friday night brings Keith Frank and the Soileau Zydecko Band, plus Kip Sonnier and Hurricane. Saturday features the Frog 5K Run, plus a Diaper Derby, the Queens Contest, a golf tournament at Cajun Pine and more main stage entertainment by Shane Leger, Thomas Fields, Louisiana Red and Jamie Bergeron. Kids dig the petting zoo and fun rides, while mommies go for arts and crafts. Frogs race and jump on Sunday, but they ignore the Frog Leg Sauce Piquante Eating contest. Kevin Naquin and Geno Delafose wrap up Sunday's entertainment. Events take place at the Fair Grounds, Civic Center, Depot Square and Zoo Arena.
Sept. 10-11
What: 32nd Bald is Beautiful Convention
Where: Morehead City, N.C.
John T. Capps III started going bald at 15, and -- faced with societal prejudice for the anti-Fabio look -- founded an association called the Bald-Headed Men of America, with the mission of encouraging everyone from cue balls to the barely thinning to "baldly go where no man has gone before." Now, 32 years later, BHMA boasts no fewer than 35,000 members from 39 countries, along with its very own convention, held once a year in (wait for it) Morehead City, N.C. Expect seminars on key baldness issues (such as correct chrome dome care), a host of prizes for the winning (pick categories from Most Kissable Head to Best Telly Savalas or Montel Williams Lookalike) and attendees from countries as far-flung as Australia and Japan.
Sept. 10-11
What: Watermelon Seed-Spitting Championship
Where: Pardeeville, Wis.
http://www.pardeeville.com/
Did your mama tell you never to spit your watermelon seeds, that it isn’t polite? You're going to learn something different here. The farther a person can spit a seed, the better. And the faster someone can eat a slice of watermelon, the better. This is the kind of competition that brings serious food-eating competitors -- 100-pound weaklings who look like all they eat is bird seed and hulky types who have the aura of someone who eats every meal like they're never going to see food again. For spectators, spitting and eating contests are the next best thing to watching Tiger Woods nail a hole in one from 20 feet away. Note: This is an annual competition that will undoubtedly attract viewers from all parts of the state. That means crowds.
Sept. 15-19
What: 23rd Annual Testicle Festival :twisted: :twisted:
Where: Clinton, Mont.
http://www.testyfesty.com/index.php
If you're looking for Clinton, Montana's biggest party, just ask Rod Lincoln, known by many as the "baron of balls." He'll tell you all about the Testicle Festival, held yearly at his Rock Creek Lodge. The "testy festy," as it's affectionately known, is purportedly a five-day extravaganza devoted to consuming innumerable servings of bull testicles (rocky mountain oysters are a local delicacy, don't you know) -- but it's also an excuse for mountain men and women to get rip-roaring drunk, shed clothing and engage in naughty contests and all-day partying. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
If you're game (and over 21), you can compete in the Hairy Chest Contest and co-ed naked billiards, or take in a variety of music and entertainment. The Testicle Festival has been featured in publications such as Hustler, Maxim and Time, so expect large crowds -- and make sure you know who's behind the camera.
Sept. 16-18
What: Nudestock Festival
Where: Laguna del Sol, Calif.
http://www.nudestockfestival.com/
If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to swing up to Wilton, Calif., for one of the biggest bare-all events of the year. Popular nudist resort destination Laguna del Sol gets even more popular for three days each September, when clothes-free devotees let it all hang out -- hopefully with high-SPF sunscreen -- at a music festival devoted to peace, nudism and the '60s, man. 2005's stages will feature live performances by local artists such as Michael Allen, Regulation of Tribe, Soul Sacrifice and Maybe Tuesday, not to mention uber-tribute band the Unofficial Rolling Stones. Lots of vendors will be on hand too, peddling crafts and memorabilia galore. Organizers encourage attendees to book early (the event always sells out), "dance in the meadow" and "wear flowers in your hair." Right on, brother.
Sept. 20
What: Lobsterdog Parade
Where: Los Angeles
http://www.lobsterfest.com/parade.html
Dog owners in tune with their pet's innermost desires notice how Fido eyes those trick-or-treaters every Halloween, longing to dress up and join the fun. Or could it be the candy? Here's your chance to find out. Every autumn, the Port of Los Angeles Lobster Festival activities give canines a chance to ham it up in the fabulous and funny Lobsterdog Pet Parade. Creativity and originality rule as contestants dress up as sea creatures and, get this, seafood dishes. Let's hope they don't get into a feeding frenzy. Pooches clad as lobsters, seals, whales, starfish, sushi and fish cakes either parade proudly or find themselves loaded on a float and pulled by their humans -- who tend to dress up too. Bob the Lobster Dog is the inspiration behind this not-to-be-missed display. As the official mascot of the lobster fleet, Bob hung out on the docks and his barking once guided the fleet to safety when the lighthouse went dark. (Photo: Courtesy of Lobsterdog Pet Parade)
Sept. 22-25
What: World Chicken Festival
Where: London, Ky.
http://www.chickenfestival.com/
The Kentucky Fried Colonel and his very first chicken spot get celebrated at this blowout egg-stravaganza. A big favorite among Kentucky galas, the World Chicken Festival boasts trademark fried chicken dinners from the ‘world’s largest stainless steel skillet,' while live entertainment emanates from four stages, including everything from magic shows to Gospel singers to kiddie-world fun.
Parades, arts and crafts, egg drop contests and wing-eating challenges add spice to the sticky-fingered mix. Show off a wacky chicken hat and delve into the luscious car show. Join the 5K ‘Run for the Roost,’ and show off at the chicken-cooking contest. Crowing, strutting and clucking contests vie with mother/daughter look-alikes, and the surprise Japanese Blue Grass Band display. You will also not want to miss the Miss World Chicken Festival Pageant, the bowling competition or the clogging demonstrations. In short, more options than you can possibly take in over one festive weekend.
Sept. 24
What: West Virginia Roadkill Cook-Off
Where: Marlinton, W.Va.
http://www.pocahontuscountywv.com/
Poached Possum, anyone? Maybe a side of Rabbit Nuggets, or Rattlesnake Wings? The charming mountain hamlet of Marlinton makes happy fun of itself with the annual West Virginia Roadkill Cook-off, a spoof-take on the stateÂ’s wacky law allowing motorists to keep wild animals that collide with them. DonÂ’t be put off by the name -- food is well-inspected wild game, prepared by serious cooks.
Behavior, however, is something else entirely: The winning team in 2004 (‘Po’ Boy Smoked Venison and Pork Chili’) went Hawaiian, complete with grass skirts and coconut bras. Once a small part of Marlinton’s Harvest Festival, the outrageous Roadkill gig has taken over. Showmanship is a big criterion in winning, so expect wild theatrics like the hula boys. The upshot, though, is you get to taste samples of those critters we see along the road, prepared with originality and style.
Sept. 24
What: Poison Oak Rash Contest
Where: Columbia, Calif.
http://www.columbiagazette.com/poison.html
If you like flower shows, don your safety suits and make your way to this curious permutation of a floral showcase. Except this time, don't bring any flowers of your own or expect to see any, because there's only one kind of plant on parade at the venerable St. Charles Saloon, and that's poison oak. Yup, you read that right, the very tree -- called toxicodendron by the brainy -- that can, depending on your allergies, make you redder than a Sacramento apple.
But color is poison oak's finest and perhaps only gift. Every fall, its leaves burn bright with brilliant oranges and reds. This stirring metamorphosis inspired a local publisher named Gary Aufdenspring to launch the Poison Oak Show, which is now closing in on its first quarter-century. Entries begin early at 9AM and run until noon, when the judging begins. Trophies are awarded across a variety of categories at 5PM, including best arrangement of poison oak and best photo (or in-person display) of a poison oak rash. Considering the show takes place in a bar, here's a pretty good tip: Don't get too tipsy around the toxicodendron, or you'll have one heck of a hangover to deal with.
Sept. 24-25
What: Ojai Pirate Faire
Where: Ojai, Calif.
http://www.goldcoastfestivals.com/piratefaire/piratefestpg1.html
These days the term piracy is usually applied to such bloodless and banal crimes as the unauthorized copying and selling of DVDs. In the late 17th and early 18th century, however, piracy was a dangerous game of high seas robbery, with colorful casts of unsavory characters earning renown for their looting and killing. This rather dark period in the history of international trade has maintained an enduring hold on our collective imagination, from Robert Louis Stevenson's 'Treasure Island,' to the more recent 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' Each September the shores of Ojai's Lake Casitas erupt in a bacchanal of buccaneering splendor, with thousands of participants dressing in their finest pirate garb and taking part in games, treasure hunts and costume contests. The really serious mates reenact pirate battles, and your littlest Long John Silvers can have a blast with a variety of activities, crafts and games for kids. There are cannons to inspect, treasure chests to peruse and plenty of skull-shaped mugs with which the bloodthirsty Blackbeard in you can enjoy a cold drink. Pirate-themed entertainment abounds, and a variety of vendors provide a boundless booty of food and drink.
Sept. 4
What: Rubber Duck Regatta
Where: Cincinnati
http://www.rubberduckregatta.org/
A $5 bet on Giacomo in this year's Kentucky Derby would have netted more than $250. But that's lunch money compared to what the same bet could win in the Rubber Duck Regatta, an annual tradition at Riverfest. For a $5 adoption fee that goes right to charity, you're given a number corresponding to a rubber ducky dumped into the Ohio River for a fast-paced (depending on wind and water conditions, of course), quarter-mile sprint. Last year's winner found herself the owner of a new truck, with runners-up taking home a $1,000 savings bond. Not bad for a race that's a huge benefit event for Freestore/Foodbank. You'll find plenty of competition on the river: up to 100,000 ducks will duke it out. That's a little more than one for every three Cincinnati residents
Sept. 9-11
What: Frog Leg Eating Contest
Where: Rayne, La.
http://www.rayne.org/frog_fest.html
Rayne is bullish on frogs. Queens kiss them, kids jump them, Dads race them and tadpoles are stars. Not only did Lafayette's neighbor to the west gain fame for exporting the green leapers to restaurants, the city plays host to a three-day blowout Frog Festival. Kick things off early with no-admission family night carnival rides on Wednesday and Thursday. Friday night brings Keith Frank and the Soileau Zydecko Band, plus Kip Sonnier and Hurricane. Saturday features the Frog 5K Run, plus a Diaper Derby, the Queens Contest, a golf tournament at Cajun Pine and more main stage entertainment by Shane Leger, Thomas Fields, Louisiana Red and Jamie Bergeron. Kids dig the petting zoo and fun rides, while mommies go for arts and crafts. Frogs race and jump on Sunday, but they ignore the Frog Leg Sauce Piquante Eating contest. Kevin Naquin and Geno Delafose wrap up Sunday's entertainment. Events take place at the Fair Grounds, Civic Center, Depot Square and Zoo Arena.
Sept. 10-11
What: 32nd Bald is Beautiful Convention
Where: Morehead City, N.C.
John T. Capps III started going bald at 15, and -- faced with societal prejudice for the anti-Fabio look -- founded an association called the Bald-Headed Men of America, with the mission of encouraging everyone from cue balls to the barely thinning to "baldly go where no man has gone before." Now, 32 years later, BHMA boasts no fewer than 35,000 members from 39 countries, along with its very own convention, held once a year in (wait for it) Morehead City, N.C. Expect seminars on key baldness issues (such as correct chrome dome care), a host of prizes for the winning (pick categories from Most Kissable Head to Best Telly Savalas or Montel Williams Lookalike) and attendees from countries as far-flung as Australia and Japan.
Sept. 10-11
What: Watermelon Seed-Spitting Championship
Where: Pardeeville, Wis.
http://www.pardeeville.com/
Did your mama tell you never to spit your watermelon seeds, that it isn’t polite? You're going to learn something different here. The farther a person can spit a seed, the better. And the faster someone can eat a slice of watermelon, the better. This is the kind of competition that brings serious food-eating competitors -- 100-pound weaklings who look like all they eat is bird seed and hulky types who have the aura of someone who eats every meal like they're never going to see food again. For spectators, spitting and eating contests are the next best thing to watching Tiger Woods nail a hole in one from 20 feet away. Note: This is an annual competition that will undoubtedly attract viewers from all parts of the state. That means crowds.
Sept. 15-19
What: 23rd Annual Testicle Festival :twisted: :twisted:
Where: Clinton, Mont.
http://www.testyfesty.com/index.php
If you're looking for Clinton, Montana's biggest party, just ask Rod Lincoln, known by many as the "baron of balls." He'll tell you all about the Testicle Festival, held yearly at his Rock Creek Lodge. The "testy festy," as it's affectionately known, is purportedly a five-day extravaganza devoted to consuming innumerable servings of bull testicles (rocky mountain oysters are a local delicacy, don't you know) -- but it's also an excuse for mountain men and women to get rip-roaring drunk, shed clothing and engage in naughty contests and all-day partying. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
If you're game (and over 21), you can compete in the Hairy Chest Contest and co-ed naked billiards, or take in a variety of music and entertainment. The Testicle Festival has been featured in publications such as Hustler, Maxim and Time, so expect large crowds -- and make sure you know who's behind the camera.
Sept. 16-18
What: Nudestock Festival
Where: Laguna del Sol, Calif.
http://www.nudestockfestival.com/
If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to swing up to Wilton, Calif., for one of the biggest bare-all events of the year. Popular nudist resort destination Laguna del Sol gets even more popular for three days each September, when clothes-free devotees let it all hang out -- hopefully with high-SPF sunscreen -- at a music festival devoted to peace, nudism and the '60s, man. 2005's stages will feature live performances by local artists such as Michael Allen, Regulation of Tribe, Soul Sacrifice and Maybe Tuesday, not to mention uber-tribute band the Unofficial Rolling Stones. Lots of vendors will be on hand too, peddling crafts and memorabilia galore. Organizers encourage attendees to book early (the event always sells out), "dance in the meadow" and "wear flowers in your hair." Right on, brother.
Sept. 20
What: Lobsterdog Parade
Where: Los Angeles
http://www.lobsterfest.com/parade.html
Dog owners in tune with their pet's innermost desires notice how Fido eyes those trick-or-treaters every Halloween, longing to dress up and join the fun. Or could it be the candy? Here's your chance to find out. Every autumn, the Port of Los Angeles Lobster Festival activities give canines a chance to ham it up in the fabulous and funny Lobsterdog Pet Parade. Creativity and originality rule as contestants dress up as sea creatures and, get this, seafood dishes. Let's hope they don't get into a feeding frenzy. Pooches clad as lobsters, seals, whales, starfish, sushi and fish cakes either parade proudly or find themselves loaded on a float and pulled by their humans -- who tend to dress up too. Bob the Lobster Dog is the inspiration behind this not-to-be-missed display. As the official mascot of the lobster fleet, Bob hung out on the docks and his barking once guided the fleet to safety when the lighthouse went dark. (Photo: Courtesy of Lobsterdog Pet Parade)
Sept. 22-25
What: World Chicken Festival
Where: London, Ky.
http://www.chickenfestival.com/
The Kentucky Fried Colonel and his very first chicken spot get celebrated at this blowout egg-stravaganza. A big favorite among Kentucky galas, the World Chicken Festival boasts trademark fried chicken dinners from the ‘world’s largest stainless steel skillet,' while live entertainment emanates from four stages, including everything from magic shows to Gospel singers to kiddie-world fun.
Parades, arts and crafts, egg drop contests and wing-eating challenges add spice to the sticky-fingered mix. Show off a wacky chicken hat and delve into the luscious car show. Join the 5K ‘Run for the Roost,’ and show off at the chicken-cooking contest. Crowing, strutting and clucking contests vie with mother/daughter look-alikes, and the surprise Japanese Blue Grass Band display. You will also not want to miss the Miss World Chicken Festival Pageant, the bowling competition or the clogging demonstrations. In short, more options than you can possibly take in over one festive weekend.
Sept. 24
What: West Virginia Roadkill Cook-Off
Where: Marlinton, W.Va.
http://www.pocahontuscountywv.com/
Poached Possum, anyone? Maybe a side of Rabbit Nuggets, or Rattlesnake Wings? The charming mountain hamlet of Marlinton makes happy fun of itself with the annual West Virginia Roadkill Cook-off, a spoof-take on the stateÂ’s wacky law allowing motorists to keep wild animals that collide with them. DonÂ’t be put off by the name -- food is well-inspected wild game, prepared by serious cooks.
Behavior, however, is something else entirely: The winning team in 2004 (‘Po’ Boy Smoked Venison and Pork Chili’) went Hawaiian, complete with grass skirts and coconut bras. Once a small part of Marlinton’s Harvest Festival, the outrageous Roadkill gig has taken over. Showmanship is a big criterion in winning, so expect wild theatrics like the hula boys. The upshot, though, is you get to taste samples of those critters we see along the road, prepared with originality and style.
Sept. 24
What: Poison Oak Rash Contest
Where: Columbia, Calif.
http://www.columbiagazette.com/poison.html
If you like flower shows, don your safety suits and make your way to this curious permutation of a floral showcase. Except this time, don't bring any flowers of your own or expect to see any, because there's only one kind of plant on parade at the venerable St. Charles Saloon, and that's poison oak. Yup, you read that right, the very tree -- called toxicodendron by the brainy -- that can, depending on your allergies, make you redder than a Sacramento apple.
But color is poison oak's finest and perhaps only gift. Every fall, its leaves burn bright with brilliant oranges and reds. This stirring metamorphosis inspired a local publisher named Gary Aufdenspring to launch the Poison Oak Show, which is now closing in on its first quarter-century. Entries begin early at 9AM and run until noon, when the judging begins. Trophies are awarded across a variety of categories at 5PM, including best arrangement of poison oak and best photo (or in-person display) of a poison oak rash. Considering the show takes place in a bar, here's a pretty good tip: Don't get too tipsy around the toxicodendron, or you'll have one heck of a hangover to deal with.
Sept. 24-25
What: Ojai Pirate Faire
Where: Ojai, Calif.
http://www.goldcoastfestivals.com/piratefaire/piratefestpg1.html
These days the term piracy is usually applied to such bloodless and banal crimes as the unauthorized copying and selling of DVDs. In the late 17th and early 18th century, however, piracy was a dangerous game of high seas robbery, with colorful casts of unsavory characters earning renown for their looting and killing. This rather dark period in the history of international trade has maintained an enduring hold on our collective imagination, from Robert Louis Stevenson's 'Treasure Island,' to the more recent 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' Each September the shores of Ojai's Lake Casitas erupt in a bacchanal of buccaneering splendor, with thousands of participants dressing in their finest pirate garb and taking part in games, treasure hunts and costume contests. The really serious mates reenact pirate battles, and your littlest Long John Silvers can have a blast with a variety of activities, crafts and games for kids. There are cannons to inspect, treasure chests to peruse and plenty of skull-shaped mugs with which the bloodthirsty Blackbeard in you can enjoy a cold drink. Pirate-themed entertainment abounds, and a variety of vendors provide a boundless booty of food and drink.
