- Joined
- Aug 10, 2004
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- 10,285
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- 39
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- Sweden
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Ok, here's the problem.
I love my cousins. Hell, I love my whole family, and all of my friends too, but that's besides the point. Naturally, I try to help them otu whenever possible. My family and friends are really close, and rather open about most things.
However, there is one thing that's kind of hush-hush among us, and that is my aunt and her boyfriend. My aunt divorced my cousin's father 14 years ago, and he's like a second father to me. Shortly after that, she found a new boyfriend, with whom she now have 2 daughters with. The problem is this:
After a few years, he started pushing her old kids away. He thinks he's doing it hidden, and when confronted about it, he's too much of a pussy to own up to it. Now it have gone so far, that my entire family hates him, except for my aunt. The sick part is that she even defends them. He refuse to stay in the same room as them, look at them, and talk to them. He's made sure throghout the 14 years he's dated their mom that he hates them, and does everything in his power to make it as uncomfortable to them as possible. Made sure he hates them without telling them. Eventually, they made a deal, since he loathes my cousins, that he'd be there every second week, and they'd be there the weeks he's not there. That fell through though, and he stays as often as he can, more and more every month, trying to push them out.
He hated my grandma, and her last wish before she died was that he would not come to her funeral. He, offcourse, didn't tell my aunt that, since she respects her choice of love. He loved my cousin's real father though, and wanted him to come. This, offcourse, didn't work out, since the other guy just HAD to come and ruin my grandmother's funeral out of spite.
He also tried to convince his own kids that my cousin's are a bad example, and that they should not talk to them.
My cousins have talked to their mom a lot, and asked her why she won't leave him. She says that she could, but she'd have no where to go blah blah blah, and basically defends him and tries to turn it around saying that its their own fault. She's not to blame, though, since he's very controlling.
Thing is, no one else can talk to her about it, since she gets extremely upset, and she's a very stubborn person, and refuse to listen. That's the reason no one else really bothers talking to her, since it just ends in everyone being upset.
Basically, our friends, and the rest of our family, support my cousins and talk to them. They sometimes cry about their situation when we talk about it, which is understandable since it's been this way starting when they were five, up to 19 which they are now. And since I'm the oldest of us, I kind of feel like I have to help them, somehow, since I hate the situation they are in, and I just hate my aunt's new boyfriend, together with the rest of the family and circle of friends.
Basically, what I want to know, is if there would be any way to fix this, because he's slowly tearing my aunt and my cousins' apart.
I love my cousins. Hell, I love my whole family, and all of my friends too, but that's besides the point. Naturally, I try to help them otu whenever possible. My family and friends are really close, and rather open about most things.
However, there is one thing that's kind of hush-hush among us, and that is my aunt and her boyfriend. My aunt divorced my cousin's father 14 years ago, and he's like a second father to me. Shortly after that, she found a new boyfriend, with whom she now have 2 daughters with. The problem is this:
After a few years, he started pushing her old kids away. He thinks he's doing it hidden, and when confronted about it, he's too much of a pussy to own up to it. Now it have gone so far, that my entire family hates him, except for my aunt. The sick part is that she even defends them. He refuse to stay in the same room as them, look at them, and talk to them. He's made sure throghout the 14 years he's dated their mom that he hates them, and does everything in his power to make it as uncomfortable to them as possible. Made sure he hates them without telling them. Eventually, they made a deal, since he loathes my cousins, that he'd be there every second week, and they'd be there the weeks he's not there. That fell through though, and he stays as often as he can, more and more every month, trying to push them out.
He hated my grandma, and her last wish before she died was that he would not come to her funeral. He, offcourse, didn't tell my aunt that, since she respects her choice of love. He loved my cousin's real father though, and wanted him to come. This, offcourse, didn't work out, since the other guy just HAD to come and ruin my grandmother's funeral out of spite.
He also tried to convince his own kids that my cousin's are a bad example, and that they should not talk to them.
My cousins have talked to their mom a lot, and asked her why she won't leave him. She says that she could, but she'd have no where to go blah blah blah, and basically defends him and tries to turn it around saying that its their own fault. She's not to blame, though, since he's very controlling.
Thing is, no one else can talk to her about it, since she gets extremely upset, and she's a very stubborn person, and refuse to listen. That's the reason no one else really bothers talking to her, since it just ends in everyone being upset.
Basically, our friends, and the rest of our family, support my cousins and talk to them. They sometimes cry about their situation when we talk about it, which is understandable since it's been this way starting when they were five, up to 19 which they are now. And since I'm the oldest of us, I kind of feel like I have to help them, somehow, since I hate the situation they are in, and I just hate my aunt's new boyfriend, together with the rest of the family and circle of friends.
Basically, what I want to know, is if there would be any way to fix this, because he's slowly tearing my aunt and my cousins' apart.
