hmmm... reality....

Q

Quetzalcoatl_

Guest
well.... I am Quetzalcoatl.... I have another name, but because of who i am (not that im anyone special) i made an alias....

My comp got shot... roughly 3 months ago... (not literally shot), ok.. my comps down, i abruptly stop playing FFXI, and at first... i smile and go... no big deal... i get a life... play Monster Hunter, and did everything you can do in it (solo kirin, get all weapons, all lao weaps, all fatalis weaps, any armor worth mentioning, the works), i stop playing that... i found out i need to replace my hard drive... my friend that gave it to me says "there should be a three year warranty (got it roughly a year 1.5 years ago), "ok =)" well he got REALLY slow (did nothing) so i baught one... didnt want to rush or anything, and i have money, so no big deal... got it... install it... and... things are going good... then.. it restarts, normal.. but after 30 times... i began to wonder (im pretty much an advanced computer noob... i knew what i was doing, but not completely...)... so i switch around the RAM and what-not, but still problems...


Now... Im a pretty jaded person, hate religion, hate polotics, i pretty much hate everything that happens in the world (except young children, and beautiful- not corrupt women)... may sound dramatic... but it's true... Jaded as i may be, i am a surprisingly optimistic person, like very.... if i was about to die, I'd still be smiling, and if someone ask if im having a bad day i'll say "No such thing as a bad day in my book, just a good day that's not as good as others"... and lets face it, reality sux, so FFXI is my alternate reality, i can have a good time with friends, do pretty much ANYTHING i want to... and it's getting annoying that i cant fix my computer... (i have been playing FFXI since 03)... and nothing gets under my skin, really, i mean i used to be a really hateful person, but then i got a new ... 'outlook' on life... used to be pesimistic, now... yeah... opti all the way =)...

this is my day... I wake up, realize there's nothing i can do (and now my days consist of sleeping, listening to music, sleeping while listening to music... and.... school, in which im doing very well in, nothing below 95% in honors class') i went to sleep at about 11 PM, wake up 12 PM (lunchtime)... so... i have a bottle of water... and go back to sleep while listening to The 13th Step... wake up read the post, call my only friend, Cody (2:00), we talk about our dreams and stuff... and sleeping and what's going on... then... i come in here and make this post (3:09)

any input, no input... is ok
 
This post is interesting, yet all over the place, and I'm not sure if there are any questions you'd want answered or what I should speak to specifically. So I'll just say you are not alone.

There have been other threads in this forum that share some common ground with this one. We live in an interesting time to be sure. I personally think the biggest problem modern society contends with is losing sight of the big picture; what's really important. Realizing you are traveling in the wrong direction is not a good feeling. Realizing there isn't much of anything you can do about it (aside from not participating in modern society - i.e. moving your ass to the middle of nowhere) isn't reassuring either. :?


If this addressing nothing on your mind, my mistake...It's pretty open ended though.
 
I think the problem with todays world isn't that there isn't enough roads for you to travel down to your way of life. But it's "which road to take". With all the choices we have in life nowdays its hard trying to choose which road to go down without feeling halfway down the road that you took is the wrong one.

My suggestion? Choose a road, ANY road and keep going down and make the best of it till you get tired of it. When you do get tired of it, it will most likely mean you pretty much reached the end and time to start a new one.

I think you'll acomplish alot more and feel like you have a place if you did that, but then this is only my opinon and nothing more......
 
I feel the same way too. Playing ffxi for a while, one day I felt like quitting ffxi because it was literally taking over my life and I virtually was devoid of social contact. Now that I "quit", I find myself doing less than I usually do, wake up sleep, go on computer sleep ever more. Actually I find myself sleeping even more than I used to >< Sleeping is something that I can kill time with I guess. - -
 
wow... i wasn't really expecting to get this many replies... but i do, greatly, apreciate it.... =)... i wonder if i would have gotten so many, if i used my typical name... anyway...

I feel like i have found my road, or path... but... i just feel like... if the world was different, the paths would... prove more profitable... if you're wondering about my opinion (i think maynard and i were seperated at birth), look up a song called "Imagine"... i love this song, and if you think about it, it's that simple... the reason i sleep is... i enjoy it, and dreams are the only place you can fly (i feel like i heard that somewhere else)... but... FFXI was like a dream, except, it was while i was awake... and the reason i listen to music, and will soon start to make my own (just hope i dont suck dick, but my friend is damn good, so he could teach me), is because it's a beautiful way to express yourself (common bands i listen to are FLA, Skinny Puppy, NiN, apc, apoptygma, and apogee gives me a good feeling). But in music, with some stuff you can relate to, being it the simple meaning of the song, or the subliminal message behind it all (no offense sneaky, but i dont mean Slipknot). im glad there are people out there i can relate to =)... but... i feel like my life is like the song "Everything Must Perish"- FLA... it's chaoticly peacful, and beautiful... but that's not good at all, really, but it doesnt bother me...

- Quetzalcoatl
 
Some might think it doesn't matter, but Quetz, what's your age?
 
One of the best things in life is finding that special thing that can make you free. For some it's art, for some it's music, for others is cars and tinkering with mechanics.

Personally, I love writing and playing music. When Im doing those things it provides a channel for my dreams and emotions... which allows you to do whatever you want and take it wherever you want to go. Dreams aren't the only place you can fly... it's all about a state of being.

As gift card-ish as what I wrote may sound... I believe in it. Part of life is finding what makes you happy, and if you're lucky enough... it can be profitable as well. :wink:
 
Quetzalcoatl_ said:
play Monster Hunter, and did everything you can do in it (solo kirin, get all weapons, all lao weaps, all fatalis weaps, any armor worth mentioning, the works), i stop playing that
Click to expand...

Nice, what was the main server you played on?
I have a static group that runs every Friday night on Green Land.
I only play at that time though.

Oh yeah, what was your character's name?
I've been playing since just after Christmas, so I may have run across you somewhere or the other.

Soloed Kirin+ last Friday (event mission rules) for the fun of it, Rathalos armor and Divine Slasher. That was a pain, can only head shot it.
 
Ummm... my name is Shukaku... I used to play whenever, but when my comp gets back up... im going to quit.. =)... i typically use Dual Dragon Ultimus, with full shinobi moon set... but when im head locking, i use full dragon armor with the Black Dragon Spear... when i gun i use either Vor cannon, or lao cannon, with Genisis armor... and if someone is already headlocking, i use the Eternal Anihilator, with dragon armor...

and Sanoske... i didnt think your post was 'post-cardish,' i apreciate it very much that you posted in the first place, and i understand greatly what you were saying... =)... im hoping i can do that with music as well...
 
Sanoske said:
One of the best things in life is finding that special thing that can make you free. For some it's art, for some it's music, for others is cars and tinkering with mechanics.

Personally, I love writing and playing music. When Im doing those things it provides a channel for my dreams and emotions... which allows you to do whatever you want and take it wherever you want to go. Dreams aren't the only place you can fly... it's all about a state of being.

As gift card-ish as what I wrote may sound... I believe in it. Part of life is finding what makes you happy, and if you're lucky enough... it can be profitable as well. :wink:
Click to expand...

I like that Sanoske, if you truly love your craft youll never work a day in your life. Who gets credit for that quote i wouldnt know just heard it for a long time.

Like you I spend a good deal of my time writing reading or sleeping. The remainder of that time is spent in FFXI, except for my doggies ^^ (border collies named Tyson and Evander).

I really enjoy this game and all of its outlets, it gives a sense of appreciation and accomplishment, while not parallel to reality, still thrilling nonetheless. Being able to help people and see them happy has in turn made me a happier person and thats something that has carried over from game to reality for me. Glad to see optimism has taken a hold on you, it needs to infect more people :D
 
Okay I really hope I dont come off as a total asshole but please hear me out...


FFXI is a really absorbing game and exploring everything could seriously keep you busy for a long time. As much as it may seem like the perfect alternate reality where everything in life is pretty much okay, I dont think its healthy to ignore reality. Life can be really tough, but running away doesnt make it better.

The thing is, modern society makes it REALLY hard for those that have a different vision of life to survive and find peace. In the past those who wanted to pursuit their dreams could do it and find some degree of success. In today's world, we're being forced more and more to conform, go to University and get normal jobs. Being unique is tough and wanting to do something new is becoming more and more of a dream.

I personally believe "How good or bad a situation is, is largely based on what you do."

For example, I was listening to this girl seriously bitch and whine about how she had no friends in university and how it was miserable. I wasnt in the conversation but she was nearby and she was speaking really loud about it so it was hard NOT to hear her. I told my friend that I honestly believe that University or any situation in life is as good or bad as you make it. I mean obviously things like having family problems etc., are uncontrollable, but if you are a first year student in University the slate is literally clean. You are starting from the beginning and its your opportunity to make a difference and start anew.

Dont lose hope thats all I can say. Good luck =)
 
Dealing with real people in an unreal world has been one of the coolest experiences I've had. Acting and reacting to how other people present themselves in this world has shown me a micro society, one that lives, breathes, and functions just like reality. But I make sure to separate my leisure world from my real life toils. As long as you still recognize that although the people you meet and interact with are real, Vana'Diel is fake. It's man made. It exists for two reasons. First and foremost, it exists so SquareEnix can make money. Distant second, it exists so that we may enjoy a piece of life we may not be able to attain in a non digitized society.

What I'm getting at here... in a round about weird kinda way... is that you really should do what makes you happy. If hanging out with the rest of us losers in Vana'Diel is fun for you, then please stay and join the party! But if you feel like you're missing out on other things, then you probably are. Either way, just make sure whatever you are doing you do with passion and with content. I've got a great quote for you, a cookie goes to anybody who can tell me where it comes from:

"It's not about the net result of one's life that gives it meaning. It's the day to day struggles, triumphs, and emotions that give a person worth."

I didn't quote it right. But hell, it's been several years since I've... well.... nevermind. :wink:
 
Yall sound so optimistic. Lucky bastards.

Personally I don't believe in religion, faith, anything like that. To me it's all bullshit. Too much shit in the world for there to be a God.

Only thing I have right now, is the few minutes a day I can look into the girl I like Eyes. That's all I look forward too, when I don't, it is a shitty day. She's headin to DisneyWorld for a couple weeks. Those will absolutely suck

My friends are assholes and I don't know why I hang out with them, but 2days ago, I broke a friends ankle and nose cause he called me gay and tried to step on my pencil.... I've known him since I was 4.

FFXI is an OK outlet but it doesn't do it when your 0/16 on Mysticmaker..
 
heh =) i get happier everytime i see more replies... ok... answers for everyone...

Xerius: The whole "life is what you make it" speech... i couldnt agree more, my friends and i were sitting with each other discussing that exact same subject the other day... and i agree... but i dont run away from life... or reality... i just look at it... and let it be, because i know that not much can be done for much of us to change it, so i exist here, and except the fact that that's the way it has always been, and that's the way it will always be, until death, but i dont plan on dying soon, i'd kill everything around me before i die, because if the chance ever does come for me to change this place, i dont want to miss out, i mean... i do the typical, smile to everyone i can, help whoever i can within my power, and try to make those around me happier, and change the people i interact with in what way i can, and sometimes it scares my friends how laid back about things i am "Vann, the world might end in a few years" "lol, the fuck ever dude, and if your time is limited (and ofcourse it is) lets do what we can while we can, wanna throw a party? =)"... the reason i like FFXI so much is... the less time i concentrate on reality, the less chances it has of poisoning me... and if you dont think society is all that bad, well bud... take a look around... if kids are growing up with bombs flying over their heads, and it's a miracle that they live past the age of 15... and if they do live, it's been with an AK-47 strapped to their hands since birth... you cant tell me that's an 'all right' society... it's a load of shit... =)... Women are abused every 5 minutes... a society with that kind of statistic cant possibly be an 'all right' one... kids that never trust their parents because their father ties them to trees and beets them with bear bottles til they pass out (and this kid was 10), dont tell me that's anywhere near an 'all right' society... i know they tell you to focus on the good, dont dwell on the bad... well bud, if you decide to ignore that, then i think you have issues, and i dont think it's that simple... but you always have to think, 'why cant it be?' 'why cant it just be that simple?', because society will not let it, and it just cant....

Excim: Hey bud =).... You're sweedish right? if you're not... you remind me greatly of someone i once met in the game... he said he was the leader of a LS, and he was a PLD, and bald (character model)... he was a very kind person =), met him in Qufim... if you're not the person i think you are, please pardon, and forgive me... and you guys arent losers in my eyes, you're all wonderful people... ofcourse there are some... 'bad apples' in the bunch, and we all have our demons.... and the only part if your quote that's familiar is the first sentence =)... im sorry i dont have as much to say to you =), but... aside from that matter, i greatly appreciate your post

Neche: So glad you could post =)... and you're 2nd and 3rd line sounds like something that came from my mouth, actually, it sounds like something i have said word for word to some of my friends... try not to base your day on one key moment bud =), cherish every little thing that you can... and if your friends are assholes drop'em... i say i have 'friends'... i mean there are about 1,000 different ppl i hang out with... but as for friends, i only have mebbe 3 or 4 (sometimes i refer to the ppl i hang out with as friends, and dont get me wrong, some are pretty close) but dont slow down and become attached so quickly to people... most of the time at the end of 'the game' they werent all that great to begin with... and if you get too attached, they will slow you down when they do something that greatly displeases you... so dont hang out with them... =), and the thing about breaking the dudes (fill in the blank), dont get so touchy about things =) it's a damn pencil... if you want some.. gimme your mailing address, and i'll send you a few houndred if it makes ya happy =), but they'll probably be cheap lol... and that Myticmaker... i havnt heard of him (but i havnt played in so long) but im a 37 thf, so when i get 45, look me up... and i'll see if i can help you out (for a price that is)... and if ya wanna know who i am, send me a 'pm' and i'll send ya one back
 
Am I swedish? Nope. I'm a Can-Am! At least, that's what my friends tell me I am... :?


(Canadian/American)


Glad to see you're feeling better too. I had a similar talk with one of my best friends in game a few nights ago. She has been having the same questions you've been asking yourself. So don't think you're the only one. This is a rough time for youth, no matter where you live. There seems to be few directions for us to go in, and there are even fewer people there to help guide us. Can't say much more about it than that.
 
Sure dropping them sounds easy my friend. I've known them for 12 years. They've been my friends since pre-school.

The thing I worry about is having nothing to fall back to.

If there is the one thing I am afraid of, it's being alone.

Not to get into it too deeply, but through my life the supernatural became reality. I can see the spirits or whatever you want to call them, I call them Jinn. Not in the sense that with my eyes, but I see better in the pitch black than with my eyes. Anyway, where I work, is a old movie theater, there are Jinn there; going from sweating cause its so warm to having frozen beads of sweat is a common occurance, having an invisible wall stop you, feeling it brush your arm.

All this and more doesn't phase me, yet being alone scares the living fuck out of me.

If I could drop them I would, I have 1st period with 3 of them, 2nd with 5, and 3rd with 2. Each of the guys I've known for 12+ years. I can't just simply drop them, it couldn't happen.
 
Yay.. 2+pages!!!!!!!! woot.... =) ....

Excim: I have never felt bad... if you read earleir in the posts, im never depressed or feeling bad... and i don't ask myself questions... i just think... alot... more than most would consider healthy... (ever wonder what i do when im awake and listening to music?) Chart time... (on weekends) 50% of the day- Listening to music while sleeping- 20%- sleeping (w/o music because the CD has stopped) 30%- listening to music w/o sleep.... (this is a 24 hr proccess)... "Walk your path with your head held high".... i dont seek guidance from others... i get it from myself... but i never think that im the only one that's going through the same thing, i actually dont doubt that there are a lot of ppl going through the same thing... Mebbe i could talk to her sometime =)... when my comp gets back up, send a tell to ???... give me her name =)
on other related news... when i get my comp back up, im moving to Fenrir... my friends called me, and told me some things, and now i feel like changing... it sounds like fun there.... and PCC sells for 180k O_O... and one of ther friends has 3 characters maxed out with gil (how's that mister Vang) and my friends have made a 3 gen static party... one to lvl my thf to 75, after we get that, nin to 75, and after that rng to 75... and it wouldnt be a 2 week on/off static, it's an every day static... one week on one week off (thf, sam, nin, blm, whm, brd ... i know i slapped myself in the face when i heard the makeup!!! "dude... change me, now!") im looking forward to it =)... the only hard part is going to be saying bye to my online friends =/

Neche: Hey bud... i think i kinda know how you feel, minus the 'Jinn' =)... i once had to dump all my friends, religion, and almost any connection i had to anything and anyone... but then i found what i was looking for, within me, and then... im me now!!!! =) ... most of my friends had been there since birth =/... but i got over my loss, and moved on...now i carefully select my friends... im used to being alone tho =), and im completely happy... mebbe it's why im happy (no one to get in my way about anything) most ppl look at being alone as a bad thing... but it's not soo bad once you get used to it... =)... i think a lot... and all of my thinking is done while im alone....
 
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