I need help...

Ok here's my advice. Thinking about death is scary. You are right a lot of teens have thought about it for various reasons. This sounds frightful to me so I have two words for you 6 words easy to remember right? STOP IT!

Ok seriously MAD TV reference there. The best I can offer you is think positive because no matter what in the pile of rotten apples there is bound to be a few good ones. Life isn't that hard and you're still a high school student Enny. Yes you maybe socially awkward like most of the high school students on here hell maybe even most of us on these boards. Just go out a few nights a week with and hang with friends, or make them. Find the people you most click with then go out bowling, mini-golfing, or whatever you guys want to do. Sometimes just being around people that make you happy can make a huge difference in your life.

My biggest tip though is don't hang around negative people who wont be there when you need them most. The best of friends will be there for you when you're truly down on your luck, and will help you as best they can to bring some cheer to your life. Not to forget there are people here who would be willing to listen to you.
 
Antor said:
You won't catch this cowboy dead any time soon. ;D

Also, I cannot rate you up so soon. ; ;
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Same here brother dude, I tried to rate you up, but it seems that someone gave you a mighty clothesline, dropped you HARDCORE and gave you the leg drop and pinned your ass for the 1-2-3.

Might have to get you a Raise.

(Off-topic: The search for the Galka MNK Hulkhogan continues.)

- Lec
 
Enlenne said:
There hasn't been a family death...but a few weeks ago, someone who used to be a very good friend to me some years ago died in a car accident. That hit me really hard, and come to think of it...alot of the thoughts I've been having came since then.
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yeah friends passing away tend to take large chunks out of our life, I'm guessing this was a friend you always hung out with and kept you busy and as a result from a lack of a close friend and something to do non-ffxi related it's starting to cave in with emotions and other stuff happening to it.

Online friends/online activities are nice but you need someon irl to communicate with like proph said, it's not enough to substitute for a real life. We arent built into our laptops and comps, we're living and moving creatures that experience life with our eyes and the rest of our senses.

Suicide is a common thought in teens i've had them before but have shaken them off, I've had them because i've never really lived life like the way my peers do or get the big scholarships that I feel that they dont deserve, and wish I was better off not being alive because i feel like I wont get anything done. I was always the nice guy getting left last in the race, I accepted that I can't be like everyone else and I'm solidifying what I am.

Thoughts like suicide usually make people think everyone will be better off without them, or that they will be better not thinking moving, or that they will be better in the next life, or they want to join those they miss.

It's not worth thinking you're nothing, or that your life is nothing. You are what you tell yourself, if you tell yourself that you're a failure then your body and mind will think it to be, if you think you're great then you'll actually be that.

Because it's very possible it's important to keep trying, it's easy to overlook oppurtunities irl and fill in the gaps that people cant give you(like your friend did years ago)

again like proph said based on morals it depends on what makes you happy, it's better than taking your life or considering because you can always do better if you believe you can. We're both still young albeit you're a few younger than me, but dont expect the feelings to go away all at once I guess, just push them back again and again, until you know what you want out of life.

Suicide also relates to the person feeling that they cant make the most of life or that they cant get the best it.What makes you happy?

i hope that helps >_>; not the best with advice but it's a phase that i'm going through. I'm used to just toughing it out you can do en
 
Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone that isn't a close real life friend. Some people are too embarrassed to say things out loud to a friend, but can type them out to a stranger. It's similar to a shrink.

Enlenne, you seem like a sweet kid. I know people, and it's obvious that you aren't suicidal. Thoughts of suicide aren't uncommon at your age. What you need is someone to listen, and maybe talk things through with you about it. I hope you've found that, or will find that here or elsewhere.
 
Suicidal thoughts are a sign that you need some help.
Reaching out for help is a sign that you still want to live.
People who actually do commit suicide are ones that generally ones who don't reach out for help. They are ones who generally deal a blow to others with their deaths because no one around them saw any signs of it coming.

I don't know what to tell you, honestly.
I can tell you that you're still a teenager, that those thoughts are common in alot of people. Hell, I've had them as a teenager as well as after and I'm still young.

There are alot of questions you can ask yourself.
There may be answers to some of them and there may not be.

Talking about it can help, venting it can help.
Don't pent yourself up with alot of negative emotions because they can get the best of you.
Talk to your parents or anyone who will lend an ear to you.
Cry if you need to but remember that there is always someone who cares for you.
 
First, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. Life will suck from time to time, and on occasion it can really get you down.

I'd advise not using anti-depressants as a crutch. Humanity went on for thousands and thousands of years without them - so can you.

I don't know you very well, so I won't presume to give any kind of specific advice, but I can throw out some general ideas that may help:

Get out and walk. Explore the neighborhood (if it's safe) around you. Most people just get in the car and go, and never think to look at what's two streets down from their home. Sunlight has also been shown to have positive effects on people's moods.

Play with animals. Go to an animal shelter if you don't have one. It's been scientifically proven that pets cheer people up and even lengthen the lives of the elderly.

Focus on something simple (like an anthill) - or something immense (like the relative size of our galaxy). Putting yourself in perspective tends to make your problems less overwhelming.

Go-kart racing. You'd have to be an extremely jaded person to get on a go-kart and not come off with a smile on your face.

In any event, when you've succeeded in cheering yourself up, turn back to your life and look at the big picture. Are my problems going to put an end to my lifestyle tomorrow? Probably not. Assuming live progresses as I expect it to, am I really going to care about this in 20 years? Again, probably not. Is my life something I can improve by fixing one little thing each day, and only worrying about that one thing? Yeah, more often than not. It's not as bad as you think. If it is, well PM me.

Even if your life is an absolute shithole, trust me, it can be worse. There are people born into the worst echelons of the nastiest corners of this planet. An orphen in the streets of Bangladesh has it worse off than you do. Believe me.

My own motto tends to work for most situations: It could always be worse.
 
Others have pretty much said what I would say so I'll just say that I hope one day you'll look back at this time and see it as part of what makes you a stronger person. Persist...and you WILL come out the other side. Please feel free to send me a /tell if you need to talk or even just to say hi! You can never have too many friends.
 
At least while this thread was bumped, I'd like to say this...

Thank you, everyone, so much for your words of support, it really means a lot that there are people out there that would care this much, even for someone that's virtually a stranger.

I've been feeling a lot better these last few days, in large part because of the support I received. I have ups and (many)downs so much though, and whilst making the OP, I felt the lowest of the low.

So, yeah, all in all--thanks.
 
I skimmed through most of the posts except the OP so I'm sure I'll be repeating a bit here.

Don't be afraid to get help, real help. Not forum posting, or discussing stuff with friends. If you honestly and fully feel you might be a danger to yourself, get help.

Suicide isn't something to turn to. And while yes, I agree, it is a selfish act, no one needs to dwell on that. The last thing someone who's suicidal needs to feel, is that they are selfish for being depressed, selfish for wanting to feel better and for their problems to go away. But I guess some people find strength and help in those words. To each their own.

As for your counselor who blamed your dad. It was a bad counselor. Not all of them are like this. It takes a lot to find a good one, I'm still searching myself, but when you do they will help. Meds aren't the end of the world. They help quite a bit if you are correctly diagnosed and medicated. Medications are not a crutch, they are not an excuse and they are not a bad thing. Depression in any form is an illness and medications do help. They have to be controlled and used properly. Above all, they have to be the right meds for you. Some make you sick, some make people have suicidal thoughts. You have to ask about everything before taking a medication or you'll get bit in the ass when a side effect pops up you didn't know about. Always be aware of what it is you're putting into your body before taking it. Ask all the questions you can think of. A good doctor will sit their butt down and explain it to you fully and listen to all your concerns.

*Not all people who are depressed need medications. It fully depends on you and your therapist on whether you take meds, do single therapy, or group therapy. A good therapist will open all these options up to you and find what helps you the most.

If you're hell bent on not seeing a therapist and/or taking meds.. well I can't help you much there. This is the path I've taken in the past 3 years because I lost my insurance and haven't got any new insurance. I've been working my ass off to get some insurance though to get back in.

Best thing I can say here, talk to friends. Don't bottle everything up. Do things you enjoy ie. play XI, go out to movies if you can, go out and make some new friends.

As someone else said, it could be worse. There are a lot of people in the world worse off than someone who's depressed. Though knowing how it feels from the other side, sometimes it can't be. Sometimes you feel like if things got any worse than they are now, you'd lose your mind.

Don't dwell on the bad things. Don't be your own worst enemy. And don't forget there are people out there, though some you might not know up til now, that have been through similar situations and have an open ear and a shoulder to lean on if you do need it. That was shown well in this thread.

Add my name to that list of people to chat with if you ever need it. I don't have all the answers, none of us really do, I just have experience and an open mind and ear to listen and try to understand.


*Edit - Don't take anyone's post here for pure fact considering meds, no meds, therapy, sex etc. Everyone is different in how they are helped and what helps them. Find out for yourself what helps you. Anyone who posted is right in their own way, because they know what has helped them or friends or family of theirs. Find what helps you most be it sex, XI, meds, going out to movies, writing, meditation.. and stick to it.
 
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uhhh, I don't really have anything to say right now since you seem to be doing better, but I think the more people that support you the better you'll feel, even if they are over the internet. So here's me telling you to feel better! With all the people willing to talk to you, and previously existing friend's, I'm sure you have someone you can talk to when you feel like talking, but just in case you want this hippy's opinion, I could always give you my # over PM. I'm not working right now so I'm pretty much bored shitless all day long, so I can listen for as long as you want. I'll be at my brother's house this weekend, but I should be back in 3-4 days.
 
Life sucks. the world sucks, it's a terrible horrible place. shards of light in an ocean of black. i've been down in the dumps, and sometimes someone can come into your life to put things into perspective. perspective is a funny thing though, it can hurt as much as it helps. maybe the answer is as simple as taking a fresh look at what you have in your life. if your life sucks, you need to get out of your chair and change it. what are you even doing here? here isn't the real world. every time you come online you're running away from the real world. from your life and what's in it. if you can't just go out there and live your life then change that life.

i'm not going to spew crap about be yourself and people will accept you for who you are, i feel that's part of whats wrong with the world. be who you want to be. oh, it's not that easy.. but it is in its own way. if you spend your life being what you want to be people will respect you. Self discipline is everything. if you have the willpower to make yourself do something, you will be stronger and faster, harder and more human. don't worry about making friends, they'll come, just try and be someone who doesn't step on people along the way.

Start respecting yourself. if you can't be proud of what you are, have the self respect to be what you can be proud of.

all easy to say, all hard to do. now get up, go and face life. face the world that blows so hard and actually make it better for you and the people you care about. nobody is responsible for your state of mind now but you. the past is past, and while it shapes us and changes us and teaches us, it does not own us.
 
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