I wanna Quit By shouting in Jeuno with This... (Screenshot here)

t's not the Fleshlight's fault

It's not the Fleshlight's fault, really. Just the fact that trying to use the one I ordered for my 34th birthday has rammed home the basic fact that I am a loser and that I am never going to get laid in my life.

I am apparently both too small and too big to use the Fleshlight. Small in the PENIS and big in the grossly overweight stomach. The result is that I apparently can't get very deep into the thing and experience the ribbing and other textures.

I ordered four inserts at once, three supertights with the three sorts of textures -- wave, ribbed, bumped -- and one ultratight. With all of them I have been having an incredible struggle to find a comfortable position to get in with my enormous stomach to allow for using the thing long enough to get off. I apparently developed a way to masturbate by hand that deluded myself into thinking I was normal. I am obviously not. I can only seem to go about an inch and a half into this Fleshlight before my fat gets in the way and the smallness of my PENIS defeat the purpose. The incredible depression of the experience makes it hard for me to stay erect as the whole time I am thinking about what a deformed, out-of-shape loser I am, so I end up only half hard or less.

Today is my 34th birthday. I have never had a girlfriend in my life, due to being a shy fatass with an ugly skin condition that I was afraid of having anyone see by taking my clothes off. I am so incredibly fucking lonely and depressed. I just want to be able to hug a woman, to hold her in my arms. Sex is frankly secondary to me, which is lucky given that I haven't had any except with my own hand.

I bought this thing thinking I would treat myself and make myself happier, but it has just driven home how fucked I am. I guess my only hope at this point is to find a woman who doesn't mind me only using oral sex on her because my PENIS obviously doesn't work very well.
 
Daveman said:
Even better, use a windower macro to sing the whole 99 bottles of beer in shout.

I actually have one with it in /party lol (really old pic)

blist.JPG
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Awesome, just freakin awesome Lmao! That made me Rofl for a few minutes. I wish I had windower now so that I could do that to my LS :P, but i'm on ps2 so no mods allowed Lol
 
Dragon's aery has that effect on people. lol
 
Westyle said:
t's not the Fleshlight's fault

It's not the Fleshlight's fault, really. Just the fact that trying to use the one I ordered for my 34th birthday has rammed home the basic fact that I am a loser and that I am never going to get laid in my life.

I am apparently both too small and too big to use the Fleshlight. Small in the PENIS and big in the grossly overweight stomach. The result is that I apparently can't get very deep into the thing and experience the ribbing and other textures.

I ordered four inserts at once, three supertights with the three sorts of textures -- wave, ribbed, bumped -- and one ultratight. With all of them I have been having an incredible struggle to find a comfortable position to get in with my enormous stomach to allow for using the thing long enough to get off. I apparently developed a way to masturbate by hand that deluded myself into thinking I was normal. I am obviously not. I can only seem to go about an inch and a half into this Fleshlight before my fat gets in the way and the smallness of my PENIS defeat the purpose. The incredible depression of the experience makes it hard for me to stay erect as the whole time I am thinking about what a deformed, out-of-shape loser I am, so I end up only half hard or less.

Today is my 34th birthday. I have never had a girlfriend in my life, due to being a shy fatass with an ugly skin condition that I was afraid of having anyone see by taking my clothes off. I am so incredibly fucking lonely and depressed. I just want to be able to hug a woman, to hold her in my arms. Sex is frankly secondary to me, which is lucky given that I haven't had any except with my own hand.

I bought this thing thinking I would treat myself and make myself happier, but it has just driven home how fucked I am. I guess my only hope at this point is to find a woman who doesn't mind me only using oral sex on her because my PENIS obviously doesn't work very well.
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So that explains why Garvin is so mad at the world. LOL
 
Tyrath said:
That is fucking hilarious...

I wouldve kicked you from the party until you finished though...
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I don't remember what happened exactly, but pt leader was probably afk for first part, I do remember eventually getting kicked lol. They reinvited soon as it was over.
 
Blancho said:
Obligatory stick up for my only friend post: Loser
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Lol No moron just no. I have plenty of friends on here unlike you. I was just doing Garvin's job seeing as though well he isn't here.
 
Well don't quit your day job or Garvin might fire you. ROFL
 
Blancho said:
Well don't quit your day job or Garvin might fire you. ROFL
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Now you wonder why most of us think you're an idiot. You aren't funny and you aren't witty. You are just stupid with nothing to contribute at all except what you think is funny when it's not. You are the only one laughing because well damn you think you're funny. Truth is you're laughing because you thought of something you found amusing. No one else is laughing here because that was astonishingly stupid.
 
I Like Chicken, I Like Liver, Meow Mix Meow Mix Please Deliver
 
Daveman said:
Even better, use a windower macro to sing the whole 99 bottles of beer in shout.

I actually have one with it in /party lol (really old pic)

blist.JPG
Click to expand...

Yea aloo was telling me about this on vent that u had a macro made out for it pretty funny when she told me i was like your pulling my leg. Well now i've seen it for myself pretty funny man.
 
Doesn't it belong in GD and not in off topic? It does talk about FFXI.
 
A few months ago, I saw a video of some guy who wanted to quit. He did it by spamming "JP ONRY" in Jeuno multiple times before he finally got jail warped.

Now THAT was funny. :biggrin:
 
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