If I had a dollar...

Pasquale

Pasquale

Step outside for a second
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Joined
Jun 20, 2005
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Age
42
Location
IL
So I was training this elderly douchebag at work, and the subject of family came up. Both he and my boss said they were suprised I wasn't at least engaged by now. I'm frickin' twenty-two. (Twenty-two and a half, but still.) I guess they were both engaged by that age and thought it was weird I wasn't.

I've been single for a long while. That came up as well:

Boss: "Now that I think about it, you haven't had a girlfriend for as long as I've known you."
Jason: "Yeah, its been a while since I dated a girl."
Trainee: "Oh, so you're..."
Jason: "Sweet crackers. I'm not gay."

(I don't think the 'sweet crackers' part helped my case, but I literaly can't stop saying it.)

If I had a dollar for every time someone thought I was gay, or had a friend's mom ask about it behind my back, I would own a PS3.
 
Lolhomo.

I get that sometimes too. Keep a girlfriend around even if you dont like her, and make sure to be seen in public. Its fool proof.
 
Pasquale in his SACB Blog said:
Fancy speakers for my car. Nice, but I don't need massive Bass to rock out to Kelly Clarkson. I can't believe I just said that.
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I retract previous statement...yew are gheeey.
 
when in doubt just claim u jerk off to her music videos

that always helps
 
You jack off to her voice? I've done that with some songs... not KC but you know. It can happen.

Y'know, you always struck me as a little gay. At least I'm right about something.
 
CmdrFly said:
You jack off to her voice? I've done that with some songs... not KC but you know. It can happen.
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I have never jacked off to her voice.

I don't think I could jack off to a song unless it was a song about two people having sex, sung while the two people were having sex. Also, the CD jacket would have to have pictures of said sex.
 
Pasquale said:
I have never jacked off to her voice.

I don't think I could jack off to a song unless it was a song about two people having sex, sung while the two people were having sex. Also, the CD jacket would have to have pictures of said sex.
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Heres the important question: Assuming is straight sex which voice would you focus on? The man or the womans....
 
Pasquale said:
I don't think I could jack off to a song unless it was a song about two people having sex
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Yes, well for the record the song I spooged to was "At a Medium Pace" by Adam Sandler. So I can agree with you there.
 
CmdrFly said:
Yes, well for the record the song I spooged to was "At a Medium Pace" by Adam Sandler. So I can agree with you there.
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Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy annnd, watch me whack off.

(I deliver pizza for a living)
 
Aither said:
Heres the important question: Assuming is straight sex which voice would you focus on? The man or the womans....
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They would both have to sound hot. If the girl sounded hot, but the guy sung like Steve from Blue's Clues, it would rip me right out of the moment.
 
CmdrFly said:
Yes, well for the record the song I spooged to was "At a Medium Pace" by Adam Sandler. So I can agree with you there.
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I just saw that part. You cranked it to Adam Sandler's voice? He has one of the least sexy voices on the planet.
 
Just hearing him say "I'm so sorry I spunked on your stomach" was enough to take me to round 3 on the o-train.
 
Wow, now I'm worried about Cmdrfly's mental health. More so than usual, I mean.
 
Aither said:
They....both....need...to sound hot?

WHY! FOCUS ON THE LADY!
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You can't tell me you'd still able to rub one out if the dude sounded like Milhouse. The man's voice would be just as important.
 
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