- Joined
- Nov 17, 2004
- Messages
- 759
- Age
- 42
- Location
- San Jose, CA
- Nation Banner

- Main Job

- Server
- Quetzalcoatl
- FFXIV
- Veovis
Do you think that they can hurt?
As in, ache?
Do you believe that something can hurt you so profoundly that it affects your very psyche; that which makes you you? Causes you a sort of metaphysical pain?
I dunno. I had some fucked up shit happen to me over this past month, and my innards, not my guts but like, my inside insides have been giving me crap lately. I feel all mopey and such. I know its nothing silly like depression or anything, though I wont go so far as to say that being depressed isnt a factor in it. But I've been depressed before, and this feels different.
So I got to thinking..
Maybe my soul hurts.
The part of me that will always be me, unchanging, sustaining a tiny speck of damage. But that speck is enough to like, make my whole system feel like its running on low batteries, or in safe mode.
I guess the closest thing I can relate the feeling to is a lack of motivation. I just dont feel like doing anything anymore after all this stupid stuff I went through. I'm better for it now that its over, but the journey through it was tough. Totally lame. And by the end of it, I was feeling like this.
Rambling is fun sometimes.
Just venting here. Dont mind me.
Maybe it's because I keep having these ups and downs..
I get a new job. Decent pay, good hours, friendly work enviroment, all the chemicals I could hope for.
My girl leaves me the day before I start.
I get my first paycheck and decide to fix up my car.
That morning, I get a letter from the city saying my car has been considered a junk vehicle because it hasnt moved in a few months and is getting towed.
How lame is that.
I guess so far it's doing better. I got my FF back. That was a plus that didnt have a downfall.
But back to the main thing I was talking about..the soul, and what affect it can have on the rest of your body. To answer my own question; yes, I do think that the soul can be hurt, and it in turn can hurt you. Maybe thats what depression is, the soul contorting and twisting in mute protest to the goings-on of your life. Maybe thats what butterflies in the stomach are.
Then again, maybe theres no such thing as a soul.
But I know one thing for sure:
I dont feel well.
Seacrest, out.
PS. This is just me talking. If it doesnt make sense to you, dont worry. Just jibber jabber trapped inside my brain.
As in, ache?
Do you believe that something can hurt you so profoundly that it affects your very psyche; that which makes you you? Causes you a sort of metaphysical pain?
I dunno. I had some fucked up shit happen to me over this past month, and my innards, not my guts but like, my inside insides have been giving me crap lately. I feel all mopey and such. I know its nothing silly like depression or anything, though I wont go so far as to say that being depressed isnt a factor in it. But I've been depressed before, and this feels different.
So I got to thinking..
Maybe my soul hurts.
The part of me that will always be me, unchanging, sustaining a tiny speck of damage. But that speck is enough to like, make my whole system feel like its running on low batteries, or in safe mode.
I guess the closest thing I can relate the feeling to is a lack of motivation. I just dont feel like doing anything anymore after all this stupid stuff I went through. I'm better for it now that its over, but the journey through it was tough. Totally lame. And by the end of it, I was feeling like this.
Rambling is fun sometimes.
Just venting here. Dont mind me.
Maybe it's because I keep having these ups and downs..
I get a new job. Decent pay, good hours, friendly work enviroment, all the chemicals I could hope for.
My girl leaves me the day before I start.
I get my first paycheck and decide to fix up my car.
That morning, I get a letter from the city saying my car has been considered a junk vehicle because it hasnt moved in a few months and is getting towed.
How lame is that.
I guess so far it's doing better. I got my FF back. That was a plus that didnt have a downfall.
But back to the main thing I was talking about..the soul, and what affect it can have on the rest of your body. To answer my own question; yes, I do think that the soul can be hurt, and it in turn can hurt you. Maybe thats what depression is, the soul contorting and twisting in mute protest to the goings-on of your life. Maybe thats what butterflies in the stomach are.
Then again, maybe theres no such thing as a soul.
But I know one thing for sure:
I dont feel well.
Seacrest, out.
PS. This is just me talking. If it doesnt make sense to you, dont worry. Just jibber jabber trapped inside my brain.