I'm Better Than You

[jender]

Going down South? {Yes, Please} :twisted: rawrrrrrrrr

 

[Hecate]

Wow sorry to hear all of those experiences Excim. All those responses were rediculous. What the hell... especially the girl who came ruunning back to you after she found out you were in a band :roll: sounds like a girl who only wants the glory of dating someone who is or has the potential to be famous.

But I also wonder why everyone has labeled all the "bad" people to be in the south? I might have understood wrong; ended up skimming at the end. I find it odd that I'm in CA wanting to go to TN.. while alot of the 'southerners' seem to want to leave the south. Hope I don't run into assholes like that. >_>

 

[Ronith]

It's true.

I can't stand the plasti-tan, muscle-bound, asshats that work in finance and drive big ol' SUV's. THOSE are the assholes I'M a bitch to.

They're usually looking for the mindless Barbie-doll trophy they can bronze up on guilt-gifted trips to the Caribbean and show off to their other grunting, neatherthal buds who do and will take precidence over their free time for the rest of their lives.

I dated guys like this for a while. Conversations started going like this..

Me: "Omigod I had a bad day babe. My little girl is sick and this teacher at work is just clueless."

Him: "You need a vacation beautiful. Want me to fly you down to Arizona with me next weekend? Room service, spa..."

Me (interrupting) "God I wish I could take you up on that, but it makes me more tired flying down there at midnight on Friday and back late Sunday. Anyway...like I was saying, this teacher today went off the deep end on me....."

Him (interrupting): "Awww baby girl. Who's with you right now?"

Me: "Uhh...no one. Just walked in the door. So anyway, this teacher..."

Him: "Why don't you strip down for me baby. Go get out a toy. I only have a few minutes..let's get a preview of the weekend..."

Me: "Umm..no. I'm exahusted and hungry. That damn teacher..."

Him: "I gotta go babe. Call me later and let me know about the weekend k? I want to see you naked! Bye!"

Me (while snapping the phone shut): "Asshole."

That is assuming they can get past the fact I've had kids and more than a few stretch marks.

"Uh can't you work out or something to get rid of that?"

"Yeah, a 56" waist goes back to 28" without any problem..." :roll:

They're superficial.

I hate Ken's AND Barbie's.

One of the biggest reasons, besides having to interact with 'em, is that they are RUINING IT FOR THE REST OF US!!

Now, when I appraoch a guy in a bar, or a restaurant, business conference, whatever...he assumes that I'm either a) a bitch or b) easy. Flip side is, I rarely get approached in a bar. I'm always open for friendly conversation. A lot of the ppl I grew up with and am friends with are guys. I'm comfortable around em. I'm told I look like "one of those bitchy women" so guys steer clear of girls like me.

It's wrong..WRONG I tell ya...

/sigh

Nothin wrong with a woman with some shape :wink:

I don't see how asshole's can be like that...guy or girl alike...I just don't see the need or reason for being like that -.-

 

[Excim]

Sorry I didn't make that clear in my original post, and I apologize because when I'm frustrated I tend to make bad generalizations like that.

So yeah, Southerners aren't bad people. Not in the least bit. See the quote from above.

 

[Atrbiohazard]

I've had pretty bad experiences with both sexes.

1) I was dating this guy who was 6 years older than me. He lived with his friend, skipped work all the time, and I ended up paying his bills and crap so he wouldn't lose his electricity or room or anything. 4 months in to the relationship, he told me he's going down to live with his sister for the winter. I was fine with that. I knew his sister. 3 weeks later, his sister calls me. Told me he was living with her but the reason being because he heard I was pregnant with his child (Um.. me and him never had sex. -.-). I got him on the phone, told him that I wasn't, called him an idiot and a few other choice words and told him I hoped to never see him again. Yep, I was mean but what he did was not exactly good. 3 months later he shows up at my door telling me that even though I'm ugly (I'll post my pic in the pic thread in a bit) and that I'm a bitch, he loves me and wants me back. Nice way to get a girl back. Not. Before I even got a chance to slam the door in his face, my friend from across the street had heard the whole thing, came over, and beat the living crap out of him. My friend never liked the guy and ended up in jail for a month for harming him but he said it was worth it. He wanted to "give the bitch what he deserved for hurting me."

Here it is about a year and a half later and he's dating a 14 year old (he's 21 now). Glad to be rid of him.

2) My friend of 4 years asked me out for a date. I was kind of suprised because all of this time I never knew she was bi. We ended up a couple and were pretty damn happy. She moved in to my place, worked and helped pay bills and we were always laughing and having tons of fun. About two months in to the relationship, she starts getting depressed and talking about suicide because of her past. I always managed to get her spirits up again though. One morning, I wake up and she's not here. I figure "she probably went to get groceries or something. No problem". I go to hop in the shower and there's a note on the counter. I still have it so here :

"Sweetheart,
I'm very sorry but I can not stay anymore. I am tired of hiding the truth. I can not handle lieing to you. So here I must say the truth. I'm not bisexual. I don't see anything in women. I have been using you to keep me happy through this time of pain. I kept remembering what happened to my mom and dad. It hurt so much. You always kept me happy when we only seen each other two to three times a week. I wanted to be with you more so I would have constant happiness. I'm so sorry. I know you'll never forgive me. I can not lie about this, either. The money you gave me to buy clothes and things for myself with, I used on the bills. I used my money on my boyfriend. I bought him clothes and small things. I feel really bad for using you all this time. I never should of done it. Our friendship was the best thing that's ever happened to me and I ruined it. I'm really sorry, hun. I love you, but only as a friend. Nothing more. Truthfully, I can't stand the thought of being with another woman. It disgusts me. If you ever want to talk again, you know my phone number. I'll be waiting for your call. I'm sorry.

Your friend,
Jen"

That broke my heart so bad. Worst break up I ever had. I loved her so much. I had just gone out and bought an engagement ring the day before to give to her that night on our date.

Well, I never called her. I regret that so much now. She killed herself 8 days ago (I'm sorry to anyone I've been a bitch to lately but this burden is bringing me down). I wish I would of forgiven her. I've never let anyone that close to me. I know what she did was wrong, but I can't stop kicking myself for not calling her and forgiving her. She wouldn't of suicided if I did.

 

[Lecan]

I'm sorry to hear that man, and believe you me, I know how it can be. I try to stay of the opinion that not everyone is like that, and if you keep searching you'll find that person.

/end cliche cheer-up speech.

Do what I do, don't talk to anyone, don't socialize, and don't go anywhere there will be even the remote chance you will meet anyone. It's easier that way, and I've found myself happier for being a hermit than constantly searching for someone who may or may not exist.

I am of the opinion that love cannot be searched for, you can't find it, it has to find you. It'll just happen, kinda like good luck. So don't really get down about the whole situation, just kinda live life and be confident. Someday that special someone will come along, out of nowhere (It seems all good things do) and you'll have what you want. Searching for it is disaster.

 

[Mishaela]

I think a big "piss-off button" of mine (and just about everyone else) is when they hit on you....despite them knowing you're taken...
Bob Barker Treatment {Do you need it?}
I wouldn't leave Klank for anything in the world right now, it's a damn needle under my fingernails when people give me crap about how they'd treat me better or some bullsh-!t. I couldn't possibly be happier, he's been there fer me thru several things, why would I ever willingly give that up, y'know?
I swear, the next person to shrug off me saying that I'm taken, is gonna need a surgical team to get my shoe out of their (insert area that'd be painful to vision here). ><

 

[Excim]

I'd like to say, thanks everybody for your encouraging posts about meeting women and "sticking it out" in reguards to finding "the one" and all. But umm... ya didn't... really read... my post. :? Wasn't bitching about my dating scene. At the time I posted this, there were a few girls I was actively hangin out with, and since then I've been spending an enormous amout of time with one girl in particular.

So this wasn't a complain about never finding girls to date. This was complaining about attitudes you get when you even glance at some of these girls and smile. It seems all you have to do is share eye contact with some girls, and they are all "Don't even ask me for a date, you won't get it" when, I um... don't even want to date you.

So I guess this leads me to the next question... is this a foreign concept? Talking to a girl without wanting anything more than to quench the curiosity to know about the person that lies beneath mere physical being, is that not normal? Is it really always all about sex and dating? I mean, c'mon!



In short, I like to talk to people. Any people. I see somebody that I might have something in common with, I talk to them. What is so wrong with that? Sure, I don't expect everyone to be all cheery and equally inquisitive, but I also don't expect the overwhelming amount of women to be flat out rude for no reason.

I don't judge people based on superficial means.... clothes, cars, jewlery, style... I don't care. Just look around anywhere and you'll see some very diverse people who can't be shoved into any genre of living! In fact, just look here!

Jezza - A beautiful woman with a cool style, tatooes and piercings, and loves Online gaming to boot. [Huh?] [Where?] Yah, I only wish to aspire to her attained coolness someday.

Jender - This girl is smokin. She likes theatre and art, but you wouldn't know it if you judged her by her looks. Again, a gamer! What good does judging anybody do anymore???

Aisling - Wife, mother, gamer, tatoos, cool style (GO WITH THE MEAN BUNNY SHIRTS 8) ) This woman throws all sterotypes out the window folks, and should be applauded. Wouldn't know a damn thing about her if I was to judger her if I saw her on the bus or something.

Ronith - Ron looks like he could be some kind of asshole punk, but he's one of the coolest people I've met on the forums. Punks are cool, don't get me wrong, but without talking to him how would I have ever know he was cool?



So screw being a hermit. If it works for you, by all means, but I can tell you it doesn't work for me. There are just too many cool people out there, it's just frustrating as hell having to weed through all the bad seeds to get to them.

[/rant]

 

[Ronith]

I'd like to say, thanks everybody for your encouraging posts about meeting women and "sticking it out" in reguards to finding "the one" and all. But umm... ya didn't... really read... my post. :? Wasn't bitching about my dating scene. At the time I posted this, there were a few girls I was actively hangin out with, and since then I've been spending an enormous amout of time with one girl in particular.

So this wasn't a complain about never finding girls to date. This was complaining about attitudes you get when you even glance at some of these girls and smile. It seems all you have to do is share eye contact with some girls, and they are all "Don't even ask me for a date, you won't get it" when, I um... don't even want to date you.

So I guess this leads me to the next question... is this a foreign concept? Talking to a girl without wanting anything more than to quench the curiosity to know about the person that lies beneath mere physical being, is that not normal? Is it really always all about sex and dating? I mean, c'mon!



In short, I like to talk to people. Any people. I see somebody that I might have something in common with, I talk to them. What is so wrong with that? Sure, I don't expect everyone to be all cheery and equally inquisitive, but I also don't expect the overwhelming amount of women to be flat out rude for no reason.

I don't judge people based on superficial means.... clothes, cars, jewlery, style... I don't care. Just look around anywhere and you'll see some very diverse people who can't be shoved into any genre of living! In fact, just look here!

Jezza - A beautiful woman with a cool style, tatooes and piercings, and loves Online gaming to boot. [Huh?] [Where?] Yah, I only wish to aspire to her attained coolness someday.

Jender - This girl is smokin. She likes theatre and art, but you wouldn't know it if you judged her by her looks. Again, a gamer! What good does judging anybody do anymore???

Aisling - Wife, mother, gamer, tatoos, cool style (GO WITH THE MEAN BUNNY SHIRTS 8) ) This woman throws all sterotypes out the window folks, and should be applauded. Wouldn't know a damn thing about her if I was to judger her if I saw her on the bus or something.

Ronith - Ron looks like he could be some kind of asshole punk, but he's one of the coolest people I've met on the forums. Punks are cool, don't get me wrong, but without talking to him how would I have ever know he was cool?


So screw being a hermit. If it works for you, by all means, but I can tell you it doesn't work for me. There are just too many cool people out there, it's just frustrating as hell having to weed through all the bad seeds to get to them.

[/rant]

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD lmao, ya...if you think I look like a punk now...add about 6inches of hair on that pic...and that's me now...6 earrings in each ear...and a tongue ring(don't know how you'd really see that >_> ) lol but ya...I've been called a punk and a stoner and all that shit by alot of people...I'm not really either...anymore >_> I'm a good guy I think and alot of people like me...or so I think <_< I can honestly say this and mean it...

Final Fantasy XI has changed my life in alot of good ways, met ALOT of awesome friends, met my soon to be wife , alot of my IRL friends play FFXI now...and they all say I'm a diff person from RL and FFXI...then again it's alot easier to express yourself on Message boards and on a game than IRL...I'm kinda nervous around people guys and girls, I just can't walk to someone and just start a convo, and Excim for you doing that alone, you're alot better than me

I know I LOOK like a punk/stoner/idiot/nerd w/e but still I'm not really any of those...and I wish people didnt just judge you by your looks...kinda sux I guess because everyone does it to everyone, no matter what there will always be those kind of people...and it sucks...bad

 

[Ronith]

I've had pretty bad experiences with both sexes.

1) I was dating this guy who was 6 years older than me. He lived with his friend, skipped work all the time, and I ended up paying his bills and crap so he wouldn't lose his electricity or room or anything. 4 months in to the relationship, he told me he's going down to live with his sister for the winter. I was fine with that. I knew his sister. 3 weeks later, his sister calls me. Told me he was living with her but the reason being because he heard I was pregnant with his child (Um.. me and him never had sex. -.-). I got him on the phone, told him that I wasn't, called him an idiot and a few other choice words and told him I hoped to never see him again. Yep, I was mean but what he did was not exactly good. 3 months later he shows up at my door telling me that even though I'm ugly (I'll post my pic in the pic thread in a bit) and that I'm a bitch, he loves me and wants me back. Nice way to get a girl back. Not. Before I even got a chance to slam the door in his face, my friend from across the street had heard the whole thing, came over, and beat the living crap out of him. My friend never liked the guy and ended up in jail for a month for harming him but he said it was worth it. He wanted to "give the bitch what he deserved for hurting me."

Here it is about a year and a half later and he's dating a 14 year old (he's 21 now). Glad to be rid of him.

2) My friend of 4 years asked me out for a date. I was kind of suprised because all of this time I never knew she was bi. We ended up a couple and were pretty damn happy. She moved in to my place, worked and helped pay bills and we were always laughing and having tons of fun. About two months in to the relationship, she starts getting depressed and talking about suicide because of her past. I always managed to get her spirits up again though. One morning, I wake up and she's not here. I figure "she probably went to get groceries or something. No problem". I go to hop in the shower and there's a note on the counter. I still have it so here :

"Sweetheart,
I'm very sorry but I can not stay anymore. I am tired of hiding the truth. I can not handle lieing to you. So here I must say the truth. I'm not bisexual. I don't see anything in women. I have been using you to keep me happy through this time of pain. I kept remembering what happened to my mom and dad. It hurt so much. You always kept me happy when we only seen each other two to three times a week. I wanted to be with you more so I would have constant happiness. I'm so sorry. I know you'll never forgive me. I can not lie about this, either. The money you gave me to buy clothes and things for myself with, I used on the bills. I used my money on my boyfriend. I bought him clothes and small things. I feel really bad for using you all this time. I never should of done it. Our friendship was the best thing that's ever happened to me and I ruined it. I'm really sorry, hun. I love you, but only as a friend. Nothing more. Truthfully, I can't stand the thought of being with another woman. It disgusts me. If you ever want to talk again, you know my phone number. I'll be waiting for your call. I'm sorry.

Your friend,
Jen"

That broke my heart so bad. Worst break up I ever had. I loved her so much. I had just gone out and bought an engagement ring the day before to give to her that night on our date.

Well, I never called her. I regret that so much now. She killed herself 8 days ago (I'm sorry to anyone I've been a bitch to lately but this burden is bringing me down). I wish I would of forgiven her. I've never let anyone that close to me. I know what she did was wrong, but I can't stop kicking myself for not calling her and forgiving her. She wouldn't of suicided if I did.

You're ugly :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: sorry I didnt know that...your pic from ffxiplayer's was good, don't see how you're ugly...maybe he was looking in a mirror when he said that?(only conclusion i can come up with)

 

[Mishaela]

Problem is (yeh, it's been said) - the society.
A vast, vast majority of teenagers (disgustingly, as young as 12 around here..) have this self-image problem. To rid of it, they, well, go and screw eachother like a bunchof drunken monkies.
This, somehow, boosts their ego. Which leaves the guys caught in this with "ofmg I'm such a playa, I git n e gurl I want lolz", and girls caught in it thinking "ogms I kin use any guy I want" - from what I've seen (on both sides), they grow a superiority complex and simply go for whatever's most visually appealing.

And, of course, the people who don't go through that crap, get caught in the crossfire. Girls who AREN'T whored-out garbagebags get hit on by these guys, and the guys fail. Badly. Because these girls have a thing called "expectations". Huge chance you got shot down (even if just wanting to talk) because they're so used to crappy pickups that they thought you were gonna do one, and they simply won't give anyone a chance anymore. (or there's the chance they're one of those "garbagebags" that just didn't find you appealing..)


Not sure if that's how it is there, but that's how it is here, and I'm just assuming it'd be similar, if not exactly the same.

 

[Pascal]

Problem is (yeh, it's been said) - the society.
A vast, vast majority of teenagers (disgustingly, as young as 12 around here..) have this self-image problem. To rid of it, they, well, go and screw eachother like a bunchof drunken monkies.
This, somehow, boosts their ego. Which leaves the guys caught in this with "ofmg I'm such a playa, I git n e gurl I want lolz", and girls caught in it thinking "ogms I kin use any guy I want" - from what I've seen (on both sides), they grow a superiority complex and simply go for whatever's most visually appealing.

That doesn’t explain my friends, there ages range from 25 to 35.

 

[Svina]

Meh there's a lot of cute women around the area, but a huge majority of the people in this college town... it's like sex is the bowl of potato chips on the table at a party, just grab any ol' thing thats there and do it. So I don't know where half these girls have been... <_<

On top of that there seems to be this increasing trend to go gay/bi, not that I have any problem with people who ARE...but its wierd ...its like it's the cool thing to be gay or bi now. o.0; I feel like a minority here sometimes... just sometimes.

Anyways I guess I'm just overly antisocial myself, I hardly ever start conversations and might come off as a dick to people (I'm not one for small talk either really... it irks me when someone's like "good morning" and I reply with a simple "mornin'" and they give me this look like I was sposed to say something else?), but when someone gets me started I never shut up XD. I don't necessarily have high self esteem either so I don't really run around hitting on random chicks, and in most cases I'm just too shy to even try talking to most anyone (female wise <_<) hence all the free time! \o/

Hrm. So yeah even if I did have a girlfriend I don't think I could afford everything that goes with it, since I don't like, have a car and barely gettin by for myself as it is, with a full time job even.

As for the OP, I totally know the attitude you're talkin about dude... as most of the chicks around campus have that attitude (oh god, especially the ones from NJ... Cythe please confirm this is a NJ thing and not just me?)... hence one of the reasons I don't even bother talkin to 'em. It's like everyone who goes to college here comes from rich families that spoiled their kids rotten, and anyone who doesn't drive a fancy car with spinning hub caps and neon lights underneath it with those goofy wing windbreakers or whatever you calls 'em is not high class enough to be acknowledged as a human being. orz... so yeah I need to get outta here sometime soon (well, I am moving, that is!)

I think people with that attitude need to get a clue though, it's truth.

 

[Taurothar]

Well, I never called her. I regret that so much now. She killed herself 8 days ago (I'm sorry to anyone I've been a bitch to lately but this burden is bringing me down). I wish I would of forgiven her. I've never let anyone that close to me. I know what she did was wrong, but I can't stop kicking myself for not calling her and forgiving her. She wouldn't of suicided if I did.

You can't think that way, if someone is REALLY depressed, one phone call CAN make the difference but rarely does. I've helped several friends realize that life is worth living and have physically ripped the razor out of their hands, in doing so cutting my own really badly, and I'm proud to have done so, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The thing is, if you keep regretting not calling, you'll just end up hating yourself and even think of doing yourself in. That girl, and I don't mean to offend, had serious issues, as you had mentioned depression in her past, and probably was already on a course for this to happen. Your call probably would have delayed the inevitable by at most a year. The best thing for you now is to forgive and let go. That is all you can do.

Back to the OP:

I have little/no luck with girls in my local area, which happens to be near a lot of the lower end of the top 10% The kind of people who make 200k a year. My family was never around that, more middle class, respectable 50k yearly. Girls in this area just seem to be all about the look and the money. I have had 2 serious relationships and both were with people I had known for a while before dating. I can't even meet a girl and I go to UCONN, a college known for partying and such. The girls I do end up meeting are only interested in being friends... And I'm fine with that but I hate that I see them dating complete fuck-tards all the time and come crying to me about it, when they have a REALLY nice guy here willing to give them a good relationship. Why do girls like assholes? Why do nice guys end up being "just friends"? Is it the bad-boy image? Is it that you need arm-candy to impress your superficial friends? I don't direct this at all girls because I know there are good ones out there, just few and far between. I have never personally just blown off someone for talking to me, even when I knew they had intentions of asking me out and I was gonna say no. I always kindly turn girls down if I'm just not attracted to them (personality and physically). It sucks that guys get treated like trash to try and get a girl. Especially when you can never tell a personality by the look of someone, because I know amazingly gorgeous women who are the nicest people in the world. You kinda just hafta lay it out on the line and see what happens. Girls, my suggestion if you have trouble finding a guy that'll treat you right, ask one of your "good friends" on a date, and trust me, you might find that diamond in the rough.


And on a side note:

I've dated so many guys that don't have jobs/cars/money and they just latch onto me while I pay for dinner, drive them everywhere and fork out the bill in gas/repairs/etc on my car. I'm a 50/50 girl, I'll let you buy me shit as long as I get to get you something back. You get my movie this time and I'll get yours next time.

Will you marry me IRL Sabs? lol. I wish I could find a girl who wants to go 50/50 on things, I always end up shelling out my hard earned money on dates while they go out and buy new shoes... (stereotypes ROCK)

 

[Kurgon]

Anyways I guess I'm just overly antisocial myself, I hardly ever start conversations and might come off as a dick to people (I'm not one for small talk either really... it irks me when someone's like "good morning" and I reply with a simple "mornin'" and they give me this look like I was sposed to say something else?), but when someone gets me started I never shut up XD. I don't necessarily have high self esteem either so I don't really run around hitting on random chicks, and in most cases I'm just too shy to even try talking to most anyone (female wise <_<) hence all the free time!

Yeah! I'm not alone! Couple that with a lack of real desire to meet anyone and you have me. The ways most guys approach women angers me honestly. That alone can turn a fun evening of dancing into a horrible night. My buddy almost got into a fight this weekend because his idea of introducing himself was to walk up directly behind a woman, grab her hips, thrust his crotch into her butt, and call himself dancing with her. (Unfortunatly this works with the majority of women because if it didn't that action would be no where near as prevalent.) A male friend of the trio of ladies stepped up to him and started talking mess. Part of me wanted him to get hit but the "friend" in me told me I needed to step in and break it up before anything really happened.

All in all I stick to my friends and meet people that way. I mean the majority of people that go bar hopping are there for the meat market and to play the game. So when I go to dance that is what I do, dance. I know that there is a chance of nice people being there (I mean I concider myself to be nice and I am there) but I don't expect it.

 

[Darkdante]

It's so bad that my only pre-requisite now for dating is you have to have a car. A)if you have a car you have money, I don't care if you spent $200 on your car, you're responsible enough to insure it and B) Chances are you have a job.

This can be taken so out of context, I hate it when I hear this. When ever I hear this its never talk to the woman again (golddigger). I feel like saying "You wanna go fer a test drive? Or do you wanna go on a date?"

:x :x :x :x

 

[sensesfail]

I’ve never seen any of my other male friends use what I would consider a pick up line and I personally have never used one out side of a joke. But I have seen them say what I would consider degrading to a lady but THEY RESPOND TO IT. :shock:

One I remember the most is a friend of mine asking a girl about sexual habits in a very rude way with in 5 sentences of a conversation with her. :shock: I got up and walked a way out of embarrassment, but he ended up getting her phone number and going out with her a few times. My friends, who tend to have the least respect for the opposite sex, always seem to be the biggest daters. WHAT THE HELL. :evil:


Maybe that is the problem Excim, you are not being rude enough.[/quote]


This says it all for me too! Tooks the words, almost word for word out of my mouth, Excim, Long time no see, we miss ya around man! and as for your statement up top, i agree totally, Girls...Need to take a better look in the mirror, your not that much better than any of the guys that try to hit on you, so lighten up a little and have some fun, you truely are missing out on alot, all because you wanna act like your so much better than the guy offering to buy you a drink...