Is the world screwed up or am I?

Z

Zilka

Guest
I hope no one minds that I am making an anonymous post. I just want to protect the identities of the people that I am gonna talk about and well, more importantly myself.


Starting from square one....

Last year I was dating this guy. Well, he ended up sleeping with this chick I thought was my friend. He came back to me with an std. Lucky for me it was just a bacteria and could be cured with an antibiotic.

I am single for a while and I don't believe in one-night stands, so I am not active for about 9 months. During this time I kinda start talking to someone I met in one of my ls in a "more than just friends" tone. A year and a half of knowing him and six months of "dating", he decides he wants to come down, I say sure. We all know how one thing leads to another... He goes home and a week or so later he tells me that he has the same std I got from my ex-boyfriend and not only that, he's saying he got it from me.

Ok... Deal with this the same way as last year. I go to my yearly OB/GYN exam and I tell my doctor, "I was with a guy and I don't think the antibiotic you gave me last year was strong enough, can you test me again?" A week later, my phone rings and its my doctor's office telling me that everything is fine. No abnormalities in my pap smear or any trace of an std in my system. Good news... right?

Then where did this individual get this std? He got it after he was with me, right? With it being a bacteria, I don't understand how it could possibly not show up in my system after having a year to incubate there.

I guess the only things I can be happy about in this situation is that I don't have an std and I broke up with him long before I found out before I was tested. He was way to controling and clingy.

My only problem is if he didn't get it from me, then that means he cheated on me.

Kinda late now to be crying over spilled milk. Yeah.... I know.... But that would mean every guy I have ever been with has cheated on me. More than just the first one I mentioned that gave me the std. My first boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me the entire time. Second, third, fourth, ...

I wanna know, seriously, why do people cheat? Or.... maybe better yet... am I way off on the rules of dating? Are you allowed to sleep with other people than your boyfriend or girlfriend before you get married? The really bad thing about this is I wonder sometimes, maybe its me.

But then.... std boy lived in my apartment, paid no rent, utilities, or food, I had to beg him to take out the trash. Ignorant on my part, but I don't expect a terrible amount out of any person. Just that they respect me and my things, they help me with things that need to be done, and they maybe pay me 30 mins of attention out of the day if they live with me. I guess that's unreasonable qualifications.

If that be the case, what are acceptable qualifications?


**END RANT**
 
Those are some bad exs... but it does happen to practically everyone in today's world. I dunno why people cheat so much for, possibly one reason is because they think they can get away with it. As for the STD thing, nowdays you gotta be careful with who you sleep with, even though you know they guy, do you know where he's been?

And no, people shouldn't be sleeping around when they are already in a relationship, I dunno how the dating game works there but over here its cheating... Period. You'll find the right one for you one day, and you'll know by the way you feel that it's "acceptable qualifications."
 
Your obviously just dating the frogs at the moment, takes a while but you'll find the one in the end
 
I think it is the forbidden fruit aspect of things. And the fact they are male, look at male gay relationships, from what I have seen among my friends, seem alot more permiscuous then the relationships my lesbian friends end up in, which always seem more serious.

But cheating is really not acceptable in any situation in my books, (Victim of cheating myself) I think you just need to hold out, you will find the right guy eventually. And it will be worth the torment you have suffered.
 
Sounds like you're dating immature people. They want other people because they don't have it. It's just like a 2 year old baby. They don't want that toy until they can't have it, then they throw a fit and take it.
 
Zilka said:
I wanna know, seriously, why do people cheat? Or.... maybe better yet... am I way off on the rules of dating? Are you allowed to sleep with other people than your boyfriend or girlfriend before you get married?
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Ideally, you'd be allowed to sleep with whoever / whatever you want while your 'mate' is simply the one you come home to, share moments with, and grow old with.

Of course, that hasn't been a socially acceptable practice since the 60s. "Free love" as the hippies would call it.

So what you need to do, is get down on their asses. I mean really down. Carve a big chunk of meat out of their thighs before breaking up with them. Make sure your future men know about this.

Finally, change your name to Caroline and die your hair blonde.

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I think its stuid to cheat on anyone you date, so I'd say you've just have had some very bad luck with people
 
Yeah this is anonymous for me as well b/c it is an embarassing subject. But yeah I also met a guy on this game, and it came about after bad events in my life: being attacked by a guy I was seeing, failing school (It was kind of a bad year to say the least).
Anywho, this player really cheered me up, and we hit it off. After talking online for over a year, we met in person and started seeing eachother frequently. We reached a decision to move in together, a decision my parents didn't appreciate. As a result, they cut me off, and I'm now on my own. I figure, well, we have eachother. I can make it ok.
A half a year later, I discover he has been cheating on me the ENTIRE time. AND I mean ENTIRE. I gave up my family for him and a chance to go to a better school for a second try, and he knew this. He still cheated on me though with his ex for 2 years, who was in the dark about me as well. This might sound sexist, but I seriously do think all guys cheat and lie. I'm probably saying this out of anger, but I am still living with this guy because I am broke and famililess.
I'm giving him a second chance, which I probably wouldn't have done had I had other options. Things are going better now, but I'll never really trust him or feel the same way about him again. Just saw your post and completely understand how much it sucks. Lesson for you guys reading this: DO NOT CHEAT. Just be honest and save everyone the trouble.
 
OGullibleOne said:
YThis might sound sexist, but I seriously do think all guys cheat and lie.
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Hey now... I may lie, but I don't cheat. 'Course that has nothing to do with the fact that I'm too ugly to pick up anyone worth cheating with.

Anyone else feel like this is turning into a "Dear Abby" thread?
 
It's possible that he had the STD before he hooked up with you and you just didn't contract it when you had sex with him. Unlikely, but possible.

Life is trying to teach you a lesson: be resposible enough to insist that your partner wear a condom. You can also request that prospective partners be tested before you have sex with them. If I did that I'd STILL use a condom.

Next time it could be hepatitis or HIV. Vanillas are so dumb when it comes to sex!
 
This isn't a one-way road. I'm a guy and I've been cheated on more than once. Lemme tell ya, it really sucks and the op pretty much hits home with me since I've been in a really similar situation. You just can't let past relationships ruin your shot at happiness when you finally meet that right person. Just don't give up. I know it's hard (trust me, I'm still trying to recover personally), but when that time comes, follow your heart and your instincts. You can't be unlucky forever, right?
 
Rappa said:
This isn't a one-way road. I'm a guy and I've been cheated on more than once. Lemme tell ya, it really sucks and the op pretty much hits home with me since I've been in a really similar situation. You just can't let past relationships ruin your shot at happiness when you finally meet that right person. Just don't give up. I know it's hard (trust me, I'm still trying to recover personally), but when that time comes, follow your heart and your instincts. You can't be unlucky forever, right?
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So true what he said.
 
I had a Gf cheat on me with my brother who is the king of STD's. It can happen to anyone and will happen to a lot of people. now adays not many people care about love and shit so stuff like cheating and abuse happens. Best thing i can tell you from my own exp is that you shouldn't let stuff like this get you down. Think of it as clearing out all the bad ones in order to find a good one.

Edit: You have to use these things to help yourself grow as a person. I have had some pretty shity deals in my life but i've grown from it. No matter how old you are you can always grow.
 
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Kinkkerbelle said:
"Vanillas" are non-kinky people. Vanilla sex is sex without any kinkyness.
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Well, I'll be damned.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Vanilla

It would seem that one could go as far as saying "Vanilla sex" is sex in it's lowest form of affection. What one would expect sex with Rosie O'Donnel to be like even.
 
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