Scarce sweetie, the ability to best an opponent in an argument (especially an opponent who doesn't argue well, such as yourself), can by no means be logically equated to having no life.
Nor, for that matter, can having expectations of how to play a game up to reasonable standards (as defined by the opinion of the masses, not the elitist few), be logically equated to elitism. It's a multiplayer cooperative game, and as such, that involves pulling your own weight. And if you can't due to ignorance (nobody starts this game already knowing everything about it), being open-minded enough to learn and correct your faults.
A player who is exceptionally bad *and* doesn't take advice (be it phrased in critical or in coddling terms), will be called out about it. That does not necessarily make a vocal person who called him out, an elitist (though they can be). And it's *certainly* a stretch to assume that because someone has standards about their enjoyment of a game, that they have no identity outside said game.
A few examples of BRD playing skill for exp/merit parties:
Good: Maintains 2 appropriate buffs on all people at all times. Does not drain healer MP (either due to blinking damage or self-healing). Sleeps all (sleepable) adds reliably and quickly, provided there's not a small army of them that nobody would be able to handle single-handedly anyway. Sticks Elegy on each mob, and Threnody too if it's being nuked. If subbing a mage job, supports main healer with backup cures, curagas, and status cures in spare time. Usually puller at high levels, and by some means or other isn't an MP sink about it. Typically doesn't get advice due to not *needing* advice, but will give advice a shot (and is reasonably good at predicting how that shot will turn out).
Reasonable: Maintains 2 appropriate buffs on all people at most times, though they may drop for a few seconds (i.e. start recasting a buff when it wears, rather than before it wears). Is reasonably quick about sleeping adds. Sticks Elegy on each mob. If subbing a mage job, supports main healer with backup cures etc. Often puller at high levels, and isn't too much of an MP sink about it. Open to advice, and will often try it out.
Dicey: Maintains 2 (maybe) appropriate buffs on most/all people part of the time, but there are notable spans of time when the buffs are down and not recast, and without good reason (such as the BRD being out pulling or spamming cures on a tank in red HP or something). Sometimes remembers to use Elegy, or uses it late in the fight. Slow to react to adds. Occasionally helps out with backup cures etc. Stubborn about advice but sometimes listens to it (and occasionally applies it).
Worthy of being booted: Buffs people only when they remember to or upon being nagged to, and/or uses inappropriate buffs (Minne those melees!). Rarely if ever debuffs or sleeps adds. Doesn't help with backup cures etc. Spends all the consequent free time (which they have, considering all they're *not* doing) either standing around seemingly half-afk, or pretending to be a damage dealer as lolmeleeBRD. Ignores any and all advice, whether it's couched in flattering terms or not (indeed, will often leave in a primadonna huff at the slightest sign of criticism).
Note that this was for exp/merit parties - you can be a *lot* more lax when BS'ing around with friends, particularly if you're trying to skillup your weapons (which, since you *don't* want to do that in exp, you'll therefore need to do at other times). There are times and places for BRDs to melee. Solo (lowbie levels and otherwise), messing around with friends, low level Besieged, coffer key hunting, skillup parties, building TP for some spawned NM, and even exp parties at very low levels (best to give it up around mid-20's).
Also note that these categories may have overlap - for example, a BRD may melee in exp and be kinda bad at maintaining buffs, but may be very open to advice and notably improve if it's actually suggested to them. That's a case of simply being ignorant rather than actually being a poor player. On the flip side, you may find a BRD who plays reasonably well, but throws a fit and disbands if anyone makes any suggestions to them, and that's a case of a jackass who happens to know some stuff but probably isn't gonna learn any more with that attitude.
I personally melee'd until the mid-40's on BRD way back in the day (a fact which I'm still embarrassed about), simply because I didn't know any better at the time, and I do wish some of my party members back then had yelled at me about it sooner. (I eventually gave it up just because I was simply too busy with other stuff, and because even I could see that my damage was crap.) People are too afraid to criticize even when necessary, for fear of running into primadonna attitudes. This is particularly true with high demand jobs that aren't easily replaced.