K, I need some advice.....

[Selph]

Alright, this is a long and complicated thing, so I'm gonna dumb it down as much as possible.

Ok, so about 8 yrs ago my step dad got cancer. He fought and won. Well, my mother was the primary care taker and stuff. Well it stressed her out so much that she basically had a mental break down, anxiety disorders, manic depressive etc etc etc. I was a Freshman in high school when all of this was going down. So here they are w/ the only house income being disability. Well once my step dad recovers he goes back to work.

Despite their best efforts we lost the place we were staying at. We had to move about a year after I graduated high school. My mother started these little temper tantrums, screaming, tosses anything and everything, and got hooked on Xanax and other pharmacutical drugs. The image I had of my mother in my child hood is basically shattered. This continues, sometimes better, sometimes worse. Well they end up renting a house. It was a nice house.

We lived there for a year, and they decide they no longer like the house. So they stop making house payments. Well, they ask me if I would co-sign on a house w/ my step-dad's mom for them to live in. They couldn't because they had filed bankruptcy when we lost the first place. I thought a nice house might help my mom get better so I end up signing on the house. We get the house and move in shortly after lease is up on second house.

About four to five months in I get an opportunity to move in w/ some friends. i move in there and end up moving home 5 months later. While I was away looking in I saw huge improvements in my mom and it all looked good. Well once I moved back in things started to go down hill again. As far as I was aware things had been ok...boy was I wrong

I take a much needed vacaction in Aug this year. First day of vacaction mom tells me that they are like 5 months behind on house payment and they may end up losing the house. The next day a police officer shows up at my door and gives a summons to appear in court over the house.

Well I decide to go see a lawyer. It's gonna cost me 1300 dollars to file. So far I haven't received an apology from either my mom or stepdad. I also found out from my dad that she did the same thing to him before they divorced. My mom since has fallen even further than she has before. I'm begining to think that she isn't 'ill' at all. She won't go get a job, she won't help herself get better. It would be one thing if she tried, be so far she hasn't at all. I feel rather betrayed by all of this, I even told my mom that the mother i knew as a child is dead. I know that isn't the best thing in the world but I felt I had to say it.

So, now that you see the issues what should I do? File Bankruptcy and move on like it never happened? or file bankruptcy and move on w/ out them in my life? Either way I'm gonna have to file bankruptcy, and my gut instincts is to just remove myself from their life and them from mine... To me she trusted a valuable bond between mother and son that can never be healed. I blame her for it all. They had money to pay for the house, they just didnt. In part it's my fault for signing on the house, but I wanted to help em out. Just goes to show ya, nice guys do finish last.

Any advice, critisysm, thoughts or ideas are very much so appreciated. thanks for reading through that.

 

[Andreva]

It looks like the best course of action would be to cut them out of your life. Continuing on with them will be a major physical and financial drain on you from the sounds of it. So cut um off, move on, and be happy.

 

[Arctyrael]

Well, Bankruptcy is going to fukc you over for the next 10 years, so I say atleast for the next 10 years, you ignore them.

 

[Kinkkerbelle]

Cutting them out of your life is huge and probably something that you would live to regret. Distancing yourself some, however, might be a good idea. You aren't responsible for your mom. I'm sorry you are suffering the consequences of her irresponsible behavior. Learn from the experience, cut your losses and never be responsible for anyone else but yourself from here on out. You can love your mom unconditionally without being dragged down by her.

 

[Zerayla]

I can't really tell you what the better decision would be, because when it comes to family its a really touchy subject. If I were in your situation though, and if the same thing were to ever fall on me, I wouldn't be able to cut my mother out of my life despite all the sacrifices i've made for her ... if there's one thing that I was taught, is that you never turn your back on family.

Yes you've been affected in the worst possible way and it seems that she's changed and probably doesn't have the ability to make good decisions anymore, yes your credit will now be near impossible to establish for the next 7 years but if you think about it... your morals here are what differentiate you from any other person. Another person would be concerned with their credit, their money, their future but its obvious that those materialistic things had no meaning to you in the first place, they had no importance. What was important to you, was helping someone you cared about and that's not something a lot of people would be willing to sacrifice because people in this world are too consumed with materialistic things.

I would just tell you not to cut yourself off, but just try to make future decisions while keeping what has happened to you in mind, so that something to this degree isn't repeated.

 

[darkfalcon51484]

Well, Bankruptcy is going to fukc you over for the next 10 years, so I say atleast for the next 10 years, you ignore them.

7 year you nub