Wow, It's only been like 2 weeks since I decided to take a break. Let me tell you... I thought it had been a lot longer (like a month) untill i looked at the date I started this thread.
Geesh, I feel pathetic. I have been having a lot of fun playing City of Heroes in the breaktime, got my then lvl 26 Blaster up to almost lvl 35, which in that game is quite an accomlishment (max level being 50).
I have to say I came back (to FFXI) a day ago for a little while. I stopped in, and it was nice, all of a sudden a good friend from my Shades of The Lost linkshell hopped into the shell and we starting talking like usual after the hello's were said. I felt pretty happy to be back.
Then I thought about what I still had to do in the game. (current To Accomplish List
- get Leaping Boots from LL, to help level Thf for subjob and job perks.
-----(to be done at a later date)- Get Emp. Hairpin to help lvl Thf sub.
- Level Thf sub, to lvl 37 or 40- to be determined by the parties/people I play with when I get Thf to that lvl range. (lots of time devotion away from my true role as a Drk, but all for the improvment of my own abilities/capabilities.)
- level Ninja to sub on Thf to help lvl Thf sub, must raise Ninja to atleast 20
-- before advancing in ninja past its current lvl (10) must get ninjitsu quests complete.. which means I need to gain more fame by doing tediously repetative quests. (wasting even more time away from lvling the only job I really, really enjoy playing)
- Obtain rank 6. (I actually am looking foward to this, I enjoy the rank storys very much)
- (There was something else I was going to end this with, but I just lost track of what it was so instead I'll just go with this, which I need to do anyway) Obtain lots of gil, hopefully via BCNMs.... successful ones. *sigh* (5/7 on BCNM 40, two seperate parties/tries, first party was 5/5, second 0/2 before everyone had to quit)
Well, as you can see.. I got thinking about all the crap I had still to accomplish and more than half of it I wish I didnt have to do. It isnt what I want to do. It's more like I have to freaking do it just to advance and do what I really want to do, and well, that isn't really enjoyable.
I want to get it done, all of it. Yet, thats just it, I want that stuff done. And believe me, its not like I haven't tried camping NMs that I need to camp. I even manage to kill LL twice (no drops though), but out of all the time ive spent camping him with no success, it hardly seems worth it. I mean, im wasting hours of my time trying to get something, and when I don't get it. What am I left with, anyone for that matter? We're left with wasted time that we spent, not even being able to accomplish anything in a virtual world. Can you see and understand how fustrated this makes me.
I'm torn because I have loved and enjoyed this game for such a long time. I still have a fondness for it, even after playing CoH for pretty much two weeks. I love playing this game, or atleast I had for nearly a year up untill this point. I WANT to play this game, but I simply DON'T enjoy a lot of what I feel I need to do just to advance with how I wish to play the game. How can I enjoy something when I abhor what needs to be done just to, hopefully, have fun again?
I really wish the tasks I need to complete were so arduous and boring. I just can't have fun when doing them. I've tried camping the NMs I need to camp, ive given it many many attempts and wasted a F*ckload of time. Its so aggrovating it, I really do hate it.
Yet, I love leveling. Some might see that as the arduous part of the game. To me leveling is awesome, not simply the act, but being in parties with different people and playing with different people. The games set up to where you have to play with others to advance, unless ofcourse you choose to be a Beastmaster. I personally dont give a rats @ss about beastmaster, it doesnt interest or appeal to me at all. The ability to solo effectively would be nice, granted it wasnt limited to just one job, that in my opinion, sucks. (not saying the actual job sucks, or that poeple who play it suck. I'd be quite wrong about that. But as far as my favoratism towards the job goes and my own opinions on what it offers to me.. It sucks)
Anway, back to leveling. I enjoy partying with the different people I meet in the game. Sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. But, when its a good experience and the other players just work with the party well, its a truely great feeling. I know that when I'm finished, I accomplished something. Not only did I gain some experience, small or large, but I also got to meet some new people and experience how they play their job/character. Even in a bad party there is usually atleast one other member who knows what he/she is doing and can relate to me. In the bad parties I still come away with a new aquantence, sometimes more than one.
Those are awesome, because later down the road, you get to meet them again (hopefully) and you both know that your good players, so when you get into a party, you can generally expect a pretty good time. If anything, you've got someone to chat with for a little while.
What's more, if your a good player, other good players take notice. Its not real hard to spot a bad player from a good one when the party goes through its first few fights. Some times there are rare occasions where someone might just get better halfway through the 'session', and likewise someone could suddenly start to suck (though thats generally from being tired, at which I hold no blame against someone).
The two linkshells I have are full of great people, the ones I know are all good. And however, there are some in both shells that are either new, or I simply havent really gotten to know them yet. So I can't say they truely are all great. I don't fully know that, though Im sure they're all nice. Being a good player is a minor step up from just being a nice person.
Great players really make this game what it can be, a great game. However, many aspects of the actual game itself I find to be very unenjoyable, atleast at the stage I'm at with my main job. I have to say up untill lvl 50 this game was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed every time I logged in. Now though.. it just.. doesn't seem as fun. The people are still there, and I very much enjoy talking with and playing with everyone I know. I just can't bring myself to enjoy NM camping; Though I want to do it, the lack of success and wast of time is too much to endour, yet.. I need to obtain it still. And if I continue playing, I'll still need to do it. But I really honestly am tired of it, this need to have lots of gil to advance, yet making gil is in no way fun and not in the least easy, unless your fortunate enough to cordinate experienced players to help you. Or just lucky enough to have someone give you a free handout to help.
I had a little talk with a person in one of my linkshells. I don't know how he can do it, but he camps NMs like a madman and has gotten a few different good drops. He says he multitasks and does other stuff while he's waiting. I guess thats nice, but I can't do that. When I'm focused on something, like FFXI, I'm focused on it. I don't want to do anything else(or play anything else) unless I have to. I can't do anything else, or else I lose track of time doing that other thing, and miss my opritunity to even try to get and NM spawn. I could set an alarm, but that wouldnt solve my problem, I'd still be focused on the new thing I was playing/doing. Then the problem becomes me not wanting to go back to what I was doing before, untill after I finished what I was doing. Thats just me. I focus on one thing at a time untill im done, thats how I operate. It's me.
In closing, id like to just say I'm trying to come back to FFXI, hopefully I can somehow manage to survive the tasks I have to do without destroying all love I have for this game. I will be on more often now I hope, as CoH is still captivating me, but its depth isnt quite as large as FFXI, so its a bit easier to quit, plus, I havent been playing it as long as FFXI either. Almost hard to believe I've had the game for over a year now. Heh, I should be a lot higher, but.. what am I gonna do eh? I'll get there eventually, thats what I keep telling myself. :-/ I hope I'm right.
Thanks for reading, those who took the time. Maybe someone can relate.
