Miracle Drink!

Xalioniaf

Xalioniaf

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Xalioniaf
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I've been meaning to post this for a while, but my scanner was fucking up. I got it down now though...

On friday, I was standing at the ticket counter, tearing tickets in half and directing people to their movie(lolmovietheaterjob). A man comes up to me with his girlfriend(I assume...), and hands me his tickets. Now, at 10:30 PMish the theater traffic isn't as heavy as in the early evening. So this guy takes his time finding his tickets. Then he looks at my name tag for a moment.
"...Ian" he finally says, and I look up from my outstretched hand, holding his ticket stubs.
"Yeah, that's kinda my name." Now, usually I'm not this assholish to our visitors, but standing for 4 hours with no break before and seemingly no break in sight(I ended up getting the last break of the evening -.-), my feets hurt and I'm kinda tired. But, that's not really important.
The man doesn't seem to be taken aback by my statement, and continues. We chit-chat for a few seconds, then he pretty much blurts out, "Do you enjoy what you do, Ian?"
"I believe I do, sir."(Santiko's Philosophy: Treat them like royalty...)
"I mean, do you REALLY enjoy your job?"
"Could use a lot less standing, I suppose."
"How much do you make? Don't you wish you could make more?"
At this point, I kinda have an idea on where this is going, but my Brain-Troll quickly blows that candle out.
"I don't know...I mean I guess..."
"No, I need a YES or NO answer!" And yet, no other customers seemed to have come into the door to save me from this guy.
"Sure, I guess."
At this point, he pulls the card displayed above out of nowhere. I shit you not, I've gone over this scene so many times in my head and I still have no fucking idea where it came from. Maybe he has an inner sleeve pocket. Hell, my old jacket had one.
"Well if you ever feel like talking, my number's on the back." The front just shows some Hawai'ian woman holding a bottle of precious Noni.
The number written in is...his number. It's also a deactivated cell phone.

Now look at this for a second. Now, I do believe that there are natural cures out there, FDA tyrany, lolwhee, etc. But I still have a...very hard time being convinced that my miracle water here is gonna help cuts. Do I even want my cuts helped? They hurt enough by themselves, I don't want them HELPED!

Anyway, Miracle Water. Discuss.
 
Omg the funny part is ive actually seen that bottled in stores when i was living in hawaii but all i know is it taste like crap. (yes i tried it....shut up) but man that is a weird ass encounter if there ever was one.
 
Elpon said:
So...sulfer water?
Click to expand...

No, its a fruit. Usually grows in volcanic terrains all around asia.

There's a similar cactar type called Aloe vera that's said to be a miracle medicine too. That one is said to work great against eczema, dry skin, upset stomache, pain reliever, reduced inflammations, faster healing. Apparently, severe burns healed up to 6 days faster by applying an aloe vera mix on the burn. It's also been suggested that it can be used as a cure for cancer. It can also be used to treat ringworm and different fungal infections. Cosmetic companies often add this to their cosmetical products such as make up, sunscreens, lotions etc.
 
Uzor said:
No, its a fruit. Usually grows in volcanic terrains all around asia.

There's a similar cactar type called Aloe vera that's said to be a miracle medicine too. That one is said to work great against eczema, dry skin, upset stomache, pain reliever, reduced inflammations, faster healing. Apparently, severe burns healed up to 6 days faster by applying an aloe vera mix on the burn. It's also been suggested that it can be used as a cure for cancer. It can also be used to treat ringworm and different fungal infections. Cosmetic companies often add this to their cosmetical products such as make up, sunscreens, lotions etc.
Click to expand...


That whole using aloe on burns thing is nothing new. I've been doing that thing for years as has my mother, grandmother, her freinds ect. Miracle medicine my ass. sounds like somone was just too stupid to ask the locals about sunburns. We dont however say something stupid like cures herpes. if it did would you see people with herpes running around in that region?
 
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I used it on my hemorrhoids once and I'm not sure if they were aggravated by the "snake oil" or the container which it came from. Maybe I was inserting the bottle in my butt incorrectly.

Wait a minute....
 
Yeah Aloe Vera grows naturally here in Az, whenever you get a cut or something seek out the plant, break off a stalk(leaf,branch?) and drip the fluid on ya.
 
EVERYONE HAS AIDS, AIDSss Aids AIDS AIDSS
 
exodusamphi said:
Yeah Aloe Vera grows naturally here in Az, whenever you get a cut or something seek out the plant, break off a stalk(leaf,branch?) and drip the fluid on ya.
Click to expand...


I hear ya on that ;x
 
ill be damned. A drink that actually helps so many diseases/viruses/disorders/stupidity. you know it never mentions anything about Fixing/preventing/curing whatever. It only says it helps em.

Assisted outbreak/reproduction of all things listed. Anyone interested?
 
Noni's good for ya over time. As for curing all that crap and tasting good ... not so much, spent alot of time on maui in my childhood and i'm quite familiar with it myself.

Uzor said:
No, its a fruit. Usually grows in volcanic terrains all around asia.

There's a similar cactar type called Aloe vera that's said to be a miracle medicine too. That one is said to work great against eczema, dry skin, upset stomache, pain reliever, reduced inflammations, faster healing. Apparently, severe burns healed up to 6 days faster by applying an aloe vera mix on the burn. It's also been suggested that it can be used as a cure for cancer. It can also be used to treat ringworm and different fungal infections. Cosmetic companies often add this to their cosmetical products such as make up, sunscreens, lotions etc.
Click to expand...

Save curing cancer i can confirm just about all of this that's 'said' or 'claimed' about aloe, i swear by it. I mean skin stuff is a no brainer but the stomach pains/issues in particular is what most people raise an eyebrow about. I've had an aloe plant in my window for years now to handle whatever i can throw at it within reason and recommend having one to people constantly for the varying uses/reasons listed above.
 
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