My Choice

[Morwen]

About 8 months ago, I had a job that I loved to death. I worked on a technical helpdesk for Sears/Kmart Corporation, where store managers/employees would call us for server/workstation/computer problems. Phone ringing all day, email notices. It was fast, it was furious and it was fun as hell. I excelled in my position, so they made me a specialized trainer for nearly all formats. I would train the new people coming in, because they knew that after leaving my class... they would know what the fuck was up. People came to me for help, they looked up to me, respected me and damnit, I was in charge. I reported directly to managers and Operations Liasons to the 'Customer' (Sears/Kmart bigwigs).

2 months after that, I was stressed. I needed a break, managerial changes were happening, and the unfortunate decision to start an office-affair, turned things sour pretty fast. I would get overloaded and seriously be at work for hours and hours after I was due to leave. Coinciding with that, personal problems really started to arise. Legal actions were taken upon me by a hospital, break-ups, home life.. everything kind of exploded at once.

Then, a light on the horizon! (or at least I thought..) My father went into business for himself! He is a representative, in the state of Michigan, for high-end stereo equipment. We sell to retailers (ie. ABC Warehouse, for those that know them) and then they, in return, sell the product. We get commission from the manufacturers (ie. Fujitsu, Denon, Niles, Leviton).

Seems like an easy job, I get promised full benefits that are paid for by my father and not out of my check, huge payraise from what I was getting paid currently by my tech firm ($2 raise, its a lot when you're poor ) and working literally 5min from my house, compared to the hour-long commute to the firm. So, I took it. I put in my 2 week notice, and felt like I was taking a giant step... in the wrong fucking direction. However, my father was very much the 'Oh everything is going to be great, we can work at home if you want, blah blah blah'. So, I leave, tear-stained, from my firm.. the next day waking to being the employee of my father.

My dad, while fantastic in many a way, is an intimidating man. That is how he controlled us as children, while still showing us the unending love and acceptance a father should. My sister worked for him before, while he was partnered with another man some years ago, and she said it was fantastic.

Now, we walk into the office we're using.. and I come to find out that I'm going to be running 2 offices. Unbeknownst to me, I am now under the employ of, not only my father, but his best friend and his Security company. Well fuck me. I'm not happy. Not only can I not stand this guy in any way, but we're at his house, in an office over his fucking garage, where he makes the employees of his company paint the house and cut the fucking lawn... jesus.

Working here has been nothing but bullshit. I can't finish anything of my dad's because his friend always interrupts me and throws a fit (literally) if I dont do it immediately. If I forget something for my dad, because Boss2 is flipping out and making me do other menial bullshit, I get a long speech about being a disappointment, if not a full out screaming session where I just sit there in the office humiliated while I cry. There is no order here. My dad pretty much put me at a desk and said 'Ok do what you want'. If I try, he vetos nearly immediately. Computers that Boss2 has supplied for us keep dying, so we just lost all of our information.... Omgwtfkillpeoplewithacheesegrater.

Yet... a silver lining to this storm-cloud has seemed to appear... My old job is begging me to come back. The people I trained to take over classes... suck manky Kirin balls. No one knows what they're doing, their approval ratings have hit rock bottom, and they're offering me money and posistions, just to come back...

My issue is this... do I let down my father and leave him? Or do I save my sanity and go back to the firm?

I apologize for the wall of text, but thank you so much for reading and any advice you can supply my fried little mind. :wacko:

 

[duncanrun]

Go back never work anywhere that you are very unhappy for to long, no matter what the reasons are to stay.

 

[Shyrra]

Hmm, well, it's hardly an easy decision at all but... I think your first concern should be to look out for yourself. If you think that the other job is a better place to be, for your own personal good, despite the 2hours a day of commuting time, etc. then I think this is the most serious point you can consider. This job is driving you crazy, stressing you out, not to mention the 1025125 over 1092812 blood pressure you're bound to have. XD

I think the best question to ask yourself is... in the end, does your dad want you to do what's best for you, or does he just want you to help him? Yeah, he might be a little bit dissapointed at first.. well, maybe a lot dissapointed.. but if he's already giving you speeches and going on tirades about how dissapointing you are, ALREADY.. well, what's the difference? I think after he got over the dissapointment and talked to you about it... maybe he'd realize that the job just wasn't the right fit for you?

There's my 2 cents, for what it's worth.. and you know I'm always here for ya if you need to talk ^^ <3

 

[CmdrFly]

You always gotta take care of #1: yourself.

If your old man doesn't see the problems inherent in your current position then this may be what it takes for him to open his eyes. Go out to dinner, have a good long talk with him about why you're putting in your notice, but damnit put in your notice before you go out to dinner. They have the ability to sway decisions and you need to be firm.

My old man is intimidating as well, and it's a hell of a morale boost when you can stand up to them for righteous reasons and show them they were wrong.

Hell you never know - maybe you'll go back to your old job, get them back in order, leave after 5-6 months because your dad split from his partner and wants you back. Your dad's partner sounds like a shining dink and maybe losing his son(?) from the business will set the precedent.

edit: wait a sec, you're that girl thats supposed to have sex with my girlfriend arent you?

 

[TLOC]

Damn, you are in a bad situation working for family, and though I havent done it personally, I have left jobs and had them beg me to come back.

The last place, I left because my boss was a fuckin retarded son of a bitch who didnt do shit and talked about me behind my back to other co workers telling them I didnt do anything (even though they all knew better). He ended up getting fired and they called and begged me to come back to run the place. I got a 2.75 raise, benefits, make my own schedule, 2 folks workin for me... couldnt get any better than that. I mean I loved working there except for my boss so it was all good. Until I started back... Was the biggest mistake I ever made. I went from working 10 minutes from home to making the hour long trek back and forth to work for some utter bullshit. And I ended up quitting about 6 months later.

If you decide to go back, I hope its better than the first time around for you. My advice would be to make sure they will give you everything they are offering you (yeah had that bullshit happen to me before too.. why i hate my job now lol). Whatever you decide, I hope it all works out.

Don't know how religious you are, but pray about it. (its what im always told lol)

 

[Isollde]

Wow, sounds like a rough decision to make.. :/ Sorry for all the stresses on ya atm. IMO, first and foremost, your Dad is a father, not a Boss. And I can understand the being harsh and intimidating, but I think that he would ultimately understand. As far as your choice, no one here can really tell you what would be best for you, but go with your gut. If his partner/friend drives you that insane, I would sit down with your pops and explain everything to him.

that is just my takeon the situation. Hope everything gets worked out for you.

 

[Morwen]

edit: wait a sec, you're that girl thats supposed to have sex with my girlfriend arent you?

Lol, yes, that would be me XD When's a good time for you?

Thank you for the responses guys. I know ultimately I should probably go back to the firm, but... someone pointed something out to me once. I am my fathers only child. Daddy's little girl, if you will (no not the spoiled rotten kind). I have a brother and a sister, both older, from my mothers previous marriage. I am my fathers only offspring, and this person (a friend that knows my family) suggested that maybe he wanted to 'give me the business' when he was ready to retire, and wanted me in because of that bond we have. Well, when I was younger, he was constantly working and never around. So as far as bonds... that may just all we have. We're very close, dont get me wrong, but we had to work towards that.

He's kind of brain-washed my siblings and I into thinking we cannot make decisions without his consent or advice. We're completely dependant on him, for so many things, and it pisses me off. I really dont know how to explain the dynamic, its fairly complex. In short, my family is like the fucking mafia and I dont want to sleep with the fishes. My fathers diappointment is something I fear moreso than physical harm.

 

[Shyrra]

edit: wait a sec, you're that girl thats supposed to have sex with my girlfriend arent you?

Sssshhh... >.>

 

[Reya]

Something I have expierenced and learned over the course of my life is this simple conclusion which has helped me through a lot choices and adverstities. This theory of living life is always put yourself first, as Cmdr stated before. You have to have love and respect for yourself, both in physical body and thought. Accepting yourself will lead you to a well lit path full of confidence and happiness in your life's travels. It's not worth it to sacrafice who you are to please another, they should accept you for who you are. This should be applied to more than just the simple person to person relationship but your career choices as well. Just ask yourself: What does Morwenny want? He is your father, he will understand. Just be honest with yourself and most importantly, be happy.

 

[Mr.Wonko]

Stay out of SHC! I've worked sales for two stores. They collect a minute amount of blood from you every so often, and when they have four liters of the stuff, they slather it all over your house and disappear you. You'll be mysteriously but obviously dead, and they can perform twisted behavioral experiments on you.

 

[Romper]

Stay out of SHC! I've worked sales for two stores. They collect a minute amount of blood from you every so often, and when they have four liters of the stuff, they slather it all over your house and disappear you. You'll be mysteriously but obviously dead, and they can perform twisted behavioral experiments on you.

Sooo you've been killed twice? THE ZOMBIE INVASION HAS BEGUN!

Go with what will make you happy Morwen.

 

[Bigboy]

Leave and return to your old job. If you were not making enough money to live on your own before, make that request when you take the job back, explaining that you need to be able to afford to live closer because the drive was eating your paychecks. This is the time to take full advantage of the situation.

Your father's business is gonna tank. It certainly will with you a a part of it. That is not your fault. That is something that often happens when people work with family in a master-subservient relationship. No one is happy and it always goes home with each of you. Your father needs to find someone willing to be his bitch. That isn't you, and shouldn't be.

 

[Darkdante]

Maybe your Dad is trying to teach you to "Stand your ground".

Doesn't sound like your doing that.

Your folding and it's pissin him off.

At the very least, after you do this you always have the other job to go back to.

 

[Morwen]

Thanks for the responses guys. After mulling it over, I've decided on what to do. I'm working on my resume to go back to the firm. This decision makes me nervous, not for lack of wanting to move on, just that my father and Boss2 will not get another secretary and be all bogged down with work.

I'm a mother-hen type, sue me.

My father's business, is not going to 'tank', thank you. He's doing very well, the business is very successful; considering his complete lack of organization and the fact that if the people who want to peddle the audio equipment actually want to GET any, they HAVE to go through my fathers business. Its sneaky, but that's the way big manufacturers do it.

My father is just the opposite, he's pissed off that I am not folding. He likes to be the one in charge. So do I. That's why he feels he has to yell and make a fuss. I'm convinced all men are really just 4 year olds. Really big 4 year olds.

 

[Zaltana]

i know many women who will agree with you. my parents always taught me to be self sustaining. "lookout for yourself before you try to look out for others" they say. its a lesson i didnt listen to at first till i fucked up and had to dig myself out of a hole.

this choise sounds like a step in the right direction IMO. your father loves you im sure and in the end he'll be proud of you for being your own woman. even though his selfisness is clouding his vision atm.

 

[Darkdante]

I'm working on my resume to go back to the firm.

You just folded again. Not doggin your choice, just clarifying my point.

Winners never cheer for the quitters, they dont respect the weak, they walk all over them to test them, to see if they can show that they can be strong.

A winner is not necesarily a smart person, a nice person, or even a likeable person, a winner is a survivor.


Sorry about the poor choice of words. Hopefully the message is clear and not taken totally out of context.

 

[Morwen]

So, in essence; you're saying that I should stay at a job that I do not enjoy, puts stress on the relationship with my father and generally makes me miserable... so I do not seem weak?

I am far from weak. I think that sticking with the job, just because he's my father, I love, respect and value his approval... just to not seem 'weak', would be the poorer decision made.

I do understand what you're saying. I am a chick, so I wanted to take that out of context immediately and be all 'omfg you suck!' but I thought about it first.

I think, all in all, the decision I've made is the best one. For myself, for my father and for my future. That, is strength.

 

[Darkdante]

lol. Wouldn't be the first time somebody told me that.

Anyway good luck with whatever you choose. Just remember every job you get will have good times and bad. It can't always be fun.