Myself...

[Nameless Bastard]

I just want to flame myself, for a moment.
I guess I gave the impression that I was after more than just friendship, from a girl whom I thought wanted as much.
I really messed up, and she thinks I'm stalking her now, or something.
There was this one guy, I guess he was a real jerk who actually did stalk her. He followed her around online and all that stuff. I hated him for making her feel like that. And just tonight she told me that he and I are one in the same now...
Please, lady, I'm truly sorry for what I did to you, or what I have failed to do. I really do not know what exactly I did to make you feel this way. I'm truly sorry.
I'm going to blacklist you now. I'll also delete you from my friendslist, and toss that pearlsack you gave me. I made it pretty far without a linkshell, and I'll be just fine again.
I really don't want you to feel like you're being stalked.
I know, its just a game. Right, still I feel bad about making someone feel so alienated.
Just another nameless bastard, right?

 

[Xelos]

{Hmmm...}

Maybe you should tell her how you feel, especially the part where you never meant to make it seem like you were stalking her. Let her know that your intentions were only for good, and not to harm/stalk her in anyway.

I don't know if this is a joke or not, so I'll reply to this as if it were serious.

 

[Nameless Bastard]

Nope.

Not a joke.

I've been down for the past few months. I have clinical Depression, or whatever. When we talked, I got the feeling that I could confide to her, and that she would understand it all. Well, I know she has her own problems. I did my best to be accomodating to her as well. A few weeks ago, I hit rock bottom, and I quit the LS for awhile, I didn't want her around me. My idea was that I'd just be upsetting to her, or something. She had her own crap to deal with, the last thing she needed was someone around talking about some pretty heinous things...
I don't want anyone around me when I'm like that. I just wanted to try and get some lvling done, alone.
Later, I found out that she was upset that I was gone. Or, that was the impression I got. I felt bad, but I didn't want to come back like this.
When I did come back, I found out that she had me blisted. I couldn't find a way to talk to her, so I just kinda laid low online for awhile.
Today, for some reason or another. I felt better. Idk why, I just felt good today. Today seemed like a good day, and I thought I would give it another try to talk to her.
Things were said...
And here I am. I was a little more assertive tonight, maybe. Mostly because I'm never in a mood quite like this, and I didn't want to waste it. There wouldn't be any other way for me to find the nerve to talk to her about this all.


Oh, and if anyone reading this thread figures out who
we are, please do not say our names. I'm trying to save face here, both hers and mine.

 

[Xelos]

Well.....

I think you're being too hard on yourself. You're going to be allright because you had good intentions at the start. Somehow or another, you will have the chance to tell her these things.

Your main enemy at this point is her lack of information. She probably thinks you are just trying to be a jerk and are just laughing this off. This isn't true, and from your posts, it is quite evident that you are not a jerk. You just wanted to help, but she got the wrong idea.

I hope you still have that pealsack/LS/whatever lying around, because I believe you need to hop back on that LS to tell people to tell her to take you off blacklist. I don't want to seem harsh, but this problem isn't going to solve itself. You need to take action, or this opportunity will slip by you in no time at all.

These posts you made, you need to relay what you said in them to her. Be honest, because you have nothing to hide. I personally don't think you have much to be worried about, all you have to do is correct the situation by telling the truth.


This is all my opinion, take it or leave it, but I hope it helps somehow.



Good luck.

 

[Xelos]

Re: Nope.

the last thing she needed was someone around talking about some pretty heinous things...

...and I thought I would give it another try to talk to her.
Things were said...

Hmmm....any way to elaborate on what some of these heinous things and conversations were?

You seem like you have good intentions, but I still don't know what happened in these previous chats.

 

[Ryme]

I think you are you own worst enemy. Clinical depression is something that while only seems like a funk can be much more involved. Being depressed you feed off the negativity of yourself and others, it is consuming.

Nobody likes to be around someone who wants the best interests for others but constantly needs attention because they are not well. It affects all aspects, especially online playing.

Maybe its best that you do blist her and take care of yourself first. If you cant do that then how can you take care of others? Friendship does extend on many levels however, I was not there I do not know. But I know depression well enough, I have turned to it and let myself feed off the negativity at one point in my life. Get some help, medication if you need it. Gotta get yourself on the right track first

 

[Nameless Bastard]

I'm really much too ashamed to talk to her now. I had no idea I was coming off as a creep. What really blows me away was that comparison to that other guy. If half the stuff she told me happened exactly the way she described it... he must truly have been troubled.
I'm troubled too, I guess. I'm a wreck right now. I keep telling myself I'll pull out of this little cloud like I always do, but I've been getting deeper and deeper into it since New Years.
I'm truly frightened as to whether or not I'll feel any better.
Besides, I'm not not saying that I haven't started to, you know, feel for her...
I really don't know. I talked to the Linkshell and they told me they saw it. Without getting too detailed here, I made some pretty shitty decisions about people like her. The idea that someone even gave a damn about me is still shocking. Maybe I really was going after her, and didn't know it.
Looking back at it now, I did do one thing shocking to both of us, which might merit her comment. I did say something to her, which this other guy said to her quite often.
In all truth I don't know why I said that thing. But, in retrospect, it seems that I wouldn't have said something like that unless there was some thought orfeeling behind it.
I'm really messed up.
And no, it's best that I toss that stupid pearlsack and stay as far away from her as possible. She doesn't need anymore of my shit to deal with.
I just hope she reads this, so maybe I won't seem like a complete monster. It's either that, or she'll get mad at me for divulging this all to you, the vicious people of the flameboards.

 

[Nameless Bastard]

In regards to the last two posts.

Those heinous things involved my own self and various sharp objects and such.

Yes, I should blist her, I need to get as far away from her as possible. It's best. My problems, not hers. No need to get her involved in all my crap.
Also, my medication is failing. Stopped working. I feel nothing.
Though, thank you for your kind words. I think you verbalized the "consuming" aspect of depression in ways I had never thought of prior. It really is consuming. And I think it's also pretty clear now, in this thread especially, how much someone can be comforted by another person with similar problems.

 

[Xelos]

LOL I am teh vicious incarnate! Hear me roar!!!!

Ok, back on track.

I forgot you were clinically depressed, so you might want to disregard that "tidbit" of advice in pursuing to make things straight. Please refer to Ryme's post. Do what Ryme said.

Again, I forgot that you were depressed. Please, take a break, and think of good and positive things for like, 20 minutes. Take a nap, medical attention, family attention, and watch either cartoons or Comedy Central (actually, Comedy Central might be a bit negative for your situation). (Well, this is my remedy for when I'm feeling down, I go to the kiddie channels and watch cartoons, they put me in a euphoria, so-to-speak. Now this may seem like an escape. Maybe it is, but do not, and I repeat, DO NOT use other escapes like drugs, alcohol, etc. You are depressed, remember that.)

Once you are good, then somehow, indirectly get her to see this thread :wink:
I don't think it is good for you to talk to her, for now.

Remember, you first, situation second.

I'm running out of advise. Wish you luck!

 

[Answa~]

Heh, "vicious".

Don't be sad or ashamed. One of the best things God gave us is Time. Use it to cool down, think, find yourself and why you said those
shocking things. Don't think about others' well-being without first thinking of you. You have to be selfish when it comes to your health, especially psychological.


Another good thing from God is being able to think things through, and to communicate said things. Write what you have to say down on a separate piece of paper. Think it through, make your words count.

 

[Nameless Bastard]

One-trick Pony

Well...
There is one thing I do, when I'm down. It helps, but lately I'm no good at it. It's just depressing how poorly I'm doing that thing the past few weeks.
I shouldn't say what that is, because everyone will recognize me right away.
And yes, the real issue is with myself, right? I need to work on that first.
Btw, I was hoping you guys would have torn me to pieces here. These flameboards are breeding grounds for all kinds of hate and negative vibes. Just look at the other threads. I'm still shocked that you all are actually giving a damn.

 

[Nameless Bastard]

I've done that before, and yes, I'm doing that now too. Perhaps that's why I'm so much more talkative online. Typing is more like just thinking instead of talking.

 

[Answa~]

lol, there's the time and place for Flaming. You have flamed yourself enough with eloquent words. Now it's time to cool down those flames. We are all human beings and all know when to be serious and when not to... well, most of us.

 

[Nameless Bastard]

I better tone down my posts. I'm really starting to worry that someone will recognize my voice.
Though I'm most likely flattering myself in thinking someone would actually remember me like that.

 

[Answa~]

I better tone down my posts. I'm really starting to worry that someone will recognize my voice.
Though I'm most likely flattering myself in thinking someone would actually remember me like that.

 

[Xelos]

Re: One-trick Pony

Well...
There is one thing I do, when I'm down. It helps, but lately I'm no good at it. It's just depressing how poorly I'm doing that thing the past few weeks.
I shouldn't say what that is, because everyone will recognize me right away.
And yes, the real issue is with myself, right? I need to work on that first.
Btw, I was hoping you guys would have torn me to pieces here. These flameboards are breeding grounds for all kinds of hate and negative vibes. Just look at the other threads. I'm still shocked that you all are actually giving a damn.

I would have instantaneousely flamed you if this thread was made as a joke. Obviousely, you are very serious, and there is no need to flame. This forum is not ALL flame you know, there are other sections, like Good Times, Off-Topic, etc.

I actually would advise this thread to be moved to Reality Sinks In. This has no place on the flameboard because:

1) You're not an idiot
2) This is serious, not concerning the game
3) Nobody is going to complain about you because you made mistakes which you are truly sorry for. If you weren't sorry, and were being a jerk, then we would all tear you to shreads.

Have the satisfaction to know that you ARE NOT A BAD GUY! You just need help (no joke).

 

[Falsey]

Wow I'm pretty pissed I wasted all this time reading this thread.

I think you are wasting your time here, people here will only want names. :?

 

[Answa~]

Re: One-trick Pony

Well...
There is one thing I do, when I'm down. It helps, but lately I'm no good at it. It's just depressing how poorly I'm doing that thing the past few weeks.
I shouldn't say what that is, because everyone will recognize me right away.
And yes, the real issue is with myself, right? I need to work on that first.
Btw, I was hoping you guys would have torn me to pieces here. These flameboards are breeding grounds for all kinds of hate and negative vibes. Just look at the other threads. I'm still shocked that you all are actually giving a damn.

I would have instantaneousely flamed you if this thread was made as a joke. Obviousely, you are very serious, and there is no need to flame. This forum is not ALL flame you know, there are other sections, like Good Times, Off-Topic, etc.

I actually would advise this thread to be moved to Reality Sinks In. This has no place on the flameboard because:

1) You're not an idiot
2) This is serious, not concerning the game
3) Nobody is going to complain about you because you made mistakes which you are truly sorry for. If you weren't sorry, and were being a jerk, then we would all tear you to shreads.

Have the satisfaction to know that you ARE NOT A BAD GUY! You just need help (no joke).

/clap

Wow I'm pretty pissed I wasted all this time reading this thread.

I think you are wasting your time here, people here will only want names.

/slap[/quote]

 

[Nameless Bastard]

Very True...

I guess people really do just care about scandal and all that.

I know there are other sections here, but truly the Flameboard is the heart of this forum. That's were all the big entertainment is. It's sad.

Still, I really do think the Flameboard is the right place for this. Falsey is right, people read these threads to feed off those bad vibes. I just want to show my own personal disgust, as well as protest the flameboards in my own slight way.

I've said too much, haven't I?

 

[Falsey]

He probably did follow her around, just like she says he did, and he probably did stalk her, now hes all upset. Slap me all you want, until you on receving end, you wont really know.