Need a little help with kids.

Y

Yoshindor

Artifact Armor
Adventurer
Joined
Oct 24, 2004
Messages
903
Location
San Diego, California, USA
Okay heres the situation, as some of you may or may not know I have 7 children and a wife. Three of these children are new born triplets no more than 4 months old. I've become a stay at home dad, while my wife works.

In short takeing care of 4 kids all day till the other 3 come home and can give me some help is killing me. And also is not doing too much for my wife and I's love life atm.

So the best solution I can come up with is hireing a nanny to make it easier. I can take on more work at home because I will have more time to do it, because I woln't be spending 75 % of my day doing kid stuff 10 % takeing short naps when I can and 15 % working when I can. So paying for this is not a problem because my wife and I both have very nice jobs.

My only concern is this how will it affect my children and their development.

I know some of you came from fairly well to do family and I was wondering if any of you had any childhood exsperiences with nannys.

Also the question once I've decided yes or no, weither to hire a live in nanny or a day nanny.

I want to be there for my children, but I have to provide for them as well. I geuss my question is will getting a hand with them here and there with diaper changes and bottle feedings, make them resentfull later on. Because if so I'd rather cut back on things and have healthy children than resentful children that I have to pacify with my wallet.

Also I've posted this on sevral parenting forums but I can't get any real first hand exsperiance feedback and I was hopeing maybe I could here <_<'. I know it's a long shot but maybe right "crosses finger".
 
This is a fairly foreign subject for me, as I do not have any kids of my own. The nanny situation is a very viable option, and if you can support it, by all means. I don't believe you will have resentful children, unless you like beating them to a bloody pulp every now and then. I did however have many babysitters growing up, so i guess that may/may not qualify as a nanny. I was always pretty independent as a kid, and still am now as a adult. I believe by spending time with your little ones will make that difference. Maybe your significant other may like to switch places some times, to ensure that the children have no signs of "favoritism" of a parent. I'm no parent, nor any sort of family advocate, but if this can help you out, then I'm glad, if not I'm sure you'd make the right decision for your family.

A real man can never be a real man unless he spends time with his family.
- Don Vito Corleone
 
Well...you could use cocain, that won't hurt your kids at all.:crazy:

Seriously now, I really look down on nannys.
Where I live (Torrance, south of LA) all the nannys are immigrants, legal or not. My neighbors across the street have used a nanny to take care of the kids in the day all there lifes. They are some F'd up kids. They yell and scream all day, they scream at the parents whever they try to give an order, and they cry like they're gonna die whenever the parents leave, even if one of them is staying with them.

I must say that a kid raised by loving parents is far better than a kid raised by a nanny whos just doing there job.

But what the hell would I know I was raised by the wolves:old: .
 
the only advise ican give is this... when ur kids really wanna spend time with u.. ur too busy.. but when u finally get tha time will they still want to spend time with you or will they replace u with something else? and my main concern (being that i have 2 children of my own) if ur not influencing your childeren then ya gotta ask ya self ... who is?
 
From the age your triplets are now (maybe a couple months older) til I was 5 years old, I was raised by a Chinese lady who ran a day care. My parents dropped me off at 6AM and picked me up at 5PM. The same thing was done with my brother and sister. The whole thing was very fun and I never attended a preschool and learned some Chinese durring those years. My speech was advanced for my age, probably due to a lack of "baby talk" most parents use when speaking to their children.

From ages 6 - 11 I was in a day care center while I attended elementary school. This lasted till I was considered old enough to walk home on my own. Again, the same was done with both my brother and sister. The time spent at the day care center was about 6AM til 4PM, not counting the hours I was in school. My parents hried Swedish nannies, flown in on a Visa with a company to take care of us and make meals/clean in the afternoon. When I was 15 my parents moved out of the area and I went to live with my grandparents so that I could finish high school in the area I had always been. I ended up living with my grandparrents for about 5 years and when my parents moved back into the area and remodeled a home, I moved back in with them. I was taken care of by other people for roughly 20 years.

While it may seem that I didn't get to spend much time with my parents, I got to spend time with my parents acting strictly as parents and not disciplinarians. I have nothing but respect and appreciation. My rebellious phase was short and I gained a greater appreciation for what it means to be a parent and an adult. Durring these years I was also exposed to many different cultures through the exchange students that lived in my home (2 at a time for a year each, for 6 years).

My situation is not very common, but it does show that not being the only form of attention your children recieve in their younger years can be a good thing and work out for you in the long run. Grab the nannie, but make sure it is from a proffesional office that deals with that and only that. A helping hand will do you good with all those children, even if it is only a housekeeper.
 
Back when I was a Teen to get away from my Parents I used to spend parts of the summer with an Aunt that helped raise me when I was younger. She is a day nanny. The kids she helped raise are great kids. None of them disrespect there parents and the ones I used to go with my aunts to still write me from time to time. I don't think anything will go wrong with you kids if you get a nanny, just make sure to do a background check on the person... you definately don't want anything bad to happen to them.
 
I see no problem with 'em. Just make sure this is a move so you can spend quality time with your kids, to replace time when you'd most likely be yelling for them to get out of the kitchen/living room/house etc... (You know how parents are territorial when cleaning ;_;)

Also another thing to consider is how much discipline you are going to allow a stranger to dish out. Hopefully you build a good relation with whoever the nanny will be and you can come to trust them as you would a family member. You don't want your kid to be a brat, so they have to be able to punish bad behavior somehow.
 
Long as you trust the Nanny its probably the best thing to do.

If you stress yourself out and take it out on your kids, thats worse in my opinion.

Hire a Nanny give yourself a break, and spend happy moments with your kids.
 
I'd recommend, if it was possible, asking a relative to watch your kids, dunno how possible it is but *shrugs* that's my suggestion, I strictly believe that if it's a nanny the kids don't know they will go wild, and if the nanny doesn't set the ground rules as soon as they do, the kids tend to stay wild, that's my firm belief, and it'll stay that way, not trying to convince you or anything, just my suggestion and opinion.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top