Relationships - The Horror Stories.

[Lukas]

I was chatting with a friend on MSN tonight and the subject quickly turned to our relationships. Having both endured less than glamorous break-ups quite recently, it was somewhat therapeutic to share stories and unite in ubiquitous dislike for stupid men and the stupid things they do. So I thought I would broaden the conversation and invite the fine people of qcdn to partake

My Story:
I was studying abroad for some time as some of you know and whilst there I met a guy. We got on extremely well, moreso than with anyone else I had ever interacted with and started a relationship. To date I can say, without qualms, that it was the most effortless and wonderful relationship I've been in. We had so much in common it was eerie, yet were complete opposites in some regards that it was almost like I'd been walking around with a piece missing all this time and I had finally found said piece.

So yes, everything was going swimmingly and we were finishing each other's sentences and I was seeing rainbows and love hearts and flying unicorns and all that tired crap.

A few weeks in however, I noticed that he seemed to avoid conversation concerning past relationships. I was fairly open about my history, so it was odd there was no reciprocity. All I knew was that his last major relationship was with a guy (pseudonym: "HM") he knew in high school. My then boyfriend's sister and I quickly become good friends and one day she told me all about HM. Without divulging too much and putting the most positive spin possibly on it, let's just say that he was... unstable. Now there was greater transparency, and my ex and I talked about it. He assured me that HM was well in the past and that they still maintained a friendship. He also promised me that he would tell HM that we were dating, which I appreciated immensely but that only made things infinitely worse for us.

HM was part of a clique of friends my ex had from school. While we were dating, I naturally met some of them and we had great fun, but I heard through them that HM was saying all manner of things about me, without of course having met me. I only spoke to him one time when he called and I answered the phone, not knowing who the fuck he was. He would make fun of the way I spoke Spanish (I'm a native speaker, but I speak a South American dialect and had to learn Spanish when I was a kid because I grew up with English). He said all this crap about me being a stupid, affected, materialistic foreigner (he nicknamed me Gabacho, which is a pejorative term for a foreigner). I was doing a modelling gig at the time, and he saw my portfolio and then took to calling me "skeletor". This all coming from someone who was actively exploring the promotional opportunities of a K-mart equivalent, but I digress.

I ignored it. I knew this guy was damaged, and I was the one in the relationship so what did I care? So a few months passed and my ex and I were fantastic, aside from the fact that we now had to treat HM with fuzzy gloves because of his "difficult history". He would call constantly, and on several occasions I had to cancel things because HM would get a hangnail or some shit and my ex would have to run off. I actually had the opportunity to meet him once, but my ex wouldn't let me for fear I would "damage" him. Apparently I can be fairly mean when I want to be, but I'm a kitten and not violent in any sense.

I would however, have gone verbally postal on his ass and reduced him to a sorry mess of a person, so it was probably for the best. But look, I don't care if the guy was a cancer patient (he wasn't), why did I have to endure veiled attacks and intereference in my relationship? Where was my protection?

Finally I booked tickets for us to go to Melbourne so he could meet my sister and we could catch a production of Wicked! The day before the flight, we find out that HM was in hospital - so you know, fuck me let's drop everything and run down there. Apparently he was dehydrated from sun stroke and was sent home the next day - but the plane was gone. I... was fucking livid. I got all my ex's crap from my apartment, went to his place dumped it on his door-step. He kept trying to call me and messaged me saying that he was sorry, and that he realised he was in love with HM all this time.

And that's it. He still called me for some time after to tell me I was a great person, but he wasn't in love with me and he hoped we could be friends (possibly with benefits). Yeah... I held out because I was still in love with the loser. But this week I told him that I'll never be the bi-polar, codependent, professional shelf-stacking degenerate he needs and so he should never call me again.

Fuck that shit.

 

[Brightblade]

That suck Lukas. Mines not so horrible. I dated a girl who broke up with me 15 times in 8 months only to call me up the next day or two and apologise. I shoulda know there was a problem when we HAD to see Titanic every time we went to the movies and she would cry harder at the end everytime. 10 times in 10 weeks...ah high school.

 

[Zyndara]

You know, I really believe that sometimes there's just nothing you can do, and the more you try, the worse it gets. Some relationships are like quicksand... when it starts to go downhill, the more you fight it, the more you prolong the inevitable, the faster you, yourself, sink. I've semi-been in your shoes, the details different but the bottom line the same, and I'm still kind of working my way out of the funk.

The only thing I can tell you is realize your own worth. I know you loved him, and I know how much it hurts to know he is in love with someone else (believe me I do). But just remember that just because he is in love with someone else, it doesn't mean it's because you are somehow missing something or less deserving of his love. It just means his heart wants what it wants, and right, wrong or indifferent, that's not something someone can change.

It sounds kind of like he'd like the best of both worlds - to hang on to you and what you do for him and yet pursue the object of his affection at the same time. That's not right, and I'm kind of happy to hear that you told him no way. Sometimes a friendship works and sometimes it doesn't. It's harder when you're the one who still loves them and you now have to suddenly find a way to hold it inside. There's no sense having any relationship if there's no respect and consideration between you though. Then you just need to let it go.

You deserve someone who will be good to you, that's for sure. And someone that will be 100% yours and not splitting time between you and someone else. Even if it doesn't seem like it now, he did you a favor, and I'm confident that you will find someone who appreciates your awesome and slightly twisted sense of humor, your wit and intellect, and your incredibly big heart. And when you do, if he has a brother, you totally have to hook me up. :biggrin:

 

[Tagrineth]

I don't want to get too into it but I broke up with one girlfriend because she got knocked up.. got drunk at a party and woke up with another dude in her bed with her. This after I warned her over and over not to go so overboard when she went out to party.

I was even willing to forgive her but... well I said I wouldn't get into it and I think this is where the story ends.

 

[exodusamphi]

I just broke up with my longest relationship. We met at a Cinco de Mayo (5th of may for you foreigners) party, got drunk, proceeded to make out the whole night, and before i know it its morning and im behind her in her bed. (We didnt do it dirty). So we have this puppy dog thing goin on, and soon enough (6 months later) were in aan apartment together. Well everything was absolutely great, I never had a doubt in us. But slowly as time dragged on, 2 months left in out 6 month lease, things just start going wrong. wede fight over anything, we got distant, we didnt enjoy each others time. so we cancelled our new lease and moved to our seperate homes to try being less dependant on each other. Not 2 weeks was it when she cut the cord. Now were in the phase of still wanting to be with each other but i fear not for pleasure, but because of habit. So still talking and trying to figure out what to do in the future, its tought. I told her tonight that if someone else came along, i could be gone when she comes around.

/sigh... what to do what to do.

 

[Xalioniaf]

I broke up and got together with the same girl four times in the course of a month.
That was the best time I've ever had.

 

[exodusamphi]

I broke up and got together with the same girl four times in the course of a month.
That was the best time I've ever had.

secks?

 

[Grandphoenix]

secks?

Xali likes it in the butt

 

[Xalioniaf]

secks?

Sure, but the "best time" is sarcastic.
I'd go through it a fifth time, though. Guess I'm just self-destructive like that, but when I was with her everything felt good.
It's been months, and I'm not exactly stressing over it, but if she showed up at my doorstep tonight? I'd take her back in a second.
Fuck, I'm retarded.

 

[alanon]

Lukas man, I feel for ya buddy. It sounds like, after reading your story, that you see all the warning signs in hindsight. Anytime and 'ex' gets put before the current on a consistant basis, it can only lead to trouble down the line. All you can do is learn from this for your future relationships.

For my part, I am currently in the first serious relationship that I have been in for some time, and it is going absolutely fabulous! That being said, I have dated A LOT over the past couple of years and could tell some dating horror stories that would have people in tears from laughter....

 

[Gohaan]

Lukas man, I feel for ya buddy. It sounds like, after reading your story, that you see all the warning signs in hindsight. Anytime and 'ex' gets put before the current on a consistant basis, it can only lead to trouble down the line. All you can do is learn from this for your future relationships.

For my part, I am currently in the first serious relationship that I have been in for some time, and it is going absolutely fabulous! That being said, I have dated A LOT over the past couple of years and could tell some dating horror stories that would have people in tears from laughter....

DOOOO IT

 

[alanon]

DOOOO IT

Since you asked for it.....

That and I found an email I sent a friend recounting a date back in April, so I be lazy and not retype anything.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Apr 20, 2008 12:21 AM


Ok, so I met this woman at the bar last night. We hung out and talked for a bit. It has been awhile since my last attempt at dating, so I listened to the 'itch' instead of the alarms going off in my head. That's always my first mistake......

So, I asked her out for dinner. I take her to this very nice Italian restaraunt. Not super upscale, but nice enough that you need a reservation on the weekends. She is wearing a nice red dress and is looking absolutely amazing. We have dinner, then just sit and talk over a bottle of wine. She tells me that she hasn't dated in a few years and that her last relationship ended very messy. Hindsight being 20/20, this probably should have alerted me.

Next thing I know, a cop comes up behind her, flashes a badge and asks her to step outside. She says nothing for about five seconds and just sits there with a blank look on her face, and I'm not sure what to do at this point. Then all at once, she flings her glass at me, stands up and starts screaming at me. The cop grabs her and "escorts" her outside, all the while she's screaming and cussing at me. I set her up this and she'll get me that. Mean while I'm just sitting there with my mouth open like a slack jawed idiot, trying to digest what just happened. Seriously, it was like a scene from the exorcist, where the sweet little girl instantly transforms into demon spawn...

I haphazardly get cleaned up, leave some money on the table to pay for dinner, and go to leave. The cop intercepts me at the door and asks if I want to press charges. I'm like "I still don't know what happened". He explains to me that she just got out of prison, and that alcohol consumption is a parole violation. Apparently, the local cops think she got off easy for whatever she did and have been keeping a close eye on her.

I just got home a little bit ago, and did a little checking into court records (I work for a computer company that does work for some courts, so I have some backdoors). Apparently she was up on charges for attempted murder (I'm assuming this is the 'messy breakup') and she plead out to assault with a deadly weapon. Nice, eh?

Go ahead and laugh. My friend Tom and his girlfriend Margie thought it was downright hysterical when I told them and to be honest, I think it's pretty funny too. I swear, I've thought about writing a book in the past, but I seriously don't think that I could make up anything better than what happens in real life!

 

[Gohaan]

Ok damn. Thats uhh nuts. Cant say I have heard anything like that before, damn, just damn.

EDIT: Tho it made me giggle a little

 

[Kotsu]

That's rough Lukas, but y'know people like him aren't worth your time. One thing is a certainty in this world: Good people are shit on by life. Clean yourself up and just keep walking down the path buddy, eventually it'll intersect with someone more special and better for you than that jackass. You'll be alright man. Other option (which is a bad option, to point out) is to be like me when I was 16-21. Sleep around, one night stands, give out a bad phone number, and never take him/her back to your house so they really have no way of tracking you down. Y'know, if at all possible. -.-;; Things have settled down a lot since I've gotten a bit older and matured over the last couple years. Never a good idea to get around like that, to be completely honest with you.

What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that sometimes doing something immature and wreckless is just what the doctor ordered to lighten the burden you wear on your shoulders. That free feeling of being a kid again can really make a difference in your overall feelings whether it be mentally, emotionally, or physically.

 

[Falsey]

i broke up with this crazy girl one time and she then told me and her mom that i got her preggo and she demanded $1000 for an abortion. i told her to show me a receipt and ill give her the money.

still waiting to this day.

 

[Genkaku]

i broke up with this crazy girl one time and she then told me and her mom that i got her preggo and she demanded $1000 for an abortion. i told her to show me a receipt and ill give her the money.

still waiting to this day.

Broke up with a chick and she said if I left, she would kill herself.

So I grabbed a chair, sat down and said "Ok, Im waiting"

 

[Hexx]

I dated this one chick for four years (before i met my current wife) and i must say this woman was a psycho.

When I first met her i should have listened to the alarms that went off in my head as well (i fucked the hell out of her the day i met her) and after we started dating, she ended up getting "drunk" and having sex with my "best friend."

Needless to say, we TRIED to make things work, even though I knew deep down inside this woman was a whore. We break up, get back together, rinse and repeat for the next four years. She finally has "had it" with me and ends up leaving me for a guy she met on myspace, only to get knocked up by ANOTHER guy (a guy she broke up with to be with me 4 years prior) while dating the guy from myspace. Once i found out about it (i was still somewhat missing her sorry ass (the sex was AWESOME)) i realize she was the worst thing to happen to me and just bust out laughing at how much of a whore she is (was).

 

[Novolo]

That suck Lukas. Mines not so horrible. I dated a girl who broke up with me 15 times in 8 months only to call me up the next day or two and apologise. I shoulda know there was a problem when we HAD to see Titanic every time we went to the movies and she would cry harder at the end everytime. 10 times in 10 weeks...ah high school.

I dated a girl where i broke up with her because she was so controlling. She would come crawling back crying every time and make me feel bad, so glad im done with her

 

[Genkaku]

I dated this one chick for four years (before i met my current wife) and i must say this woman was a psycho.

When I first met her i should have listened to the alarms that went off in my head as well (i fucked the hell out of her the day i met her) and after we started dating, she ended up getting "drunk" and having sex with my "best friend."

Needless to say, we TRIED to make things work, even though I knew deep down inside this woman was a whore. We break up, get back together, rinse and repeat for the next four years. She finally has "had it" with me and ends up leaving me for a guy she met on myspace, only to get knocked up by ANOTHER guy (a guy she broke up with to be with me 4 years prior) while dating the guy from myspace. Once i found out about it (i was still somewhat missing her sorry ass (the sex was AWESOME)) i realize she was the worst thing to happen to me and just bust out laughing at how much of a whore she is (was).

Watching them fall apart after they break up with you is the best.

So, you left me for 'someone better'? .. Hmm. So how's things? lol.

 

[Isac]

Ok damn. Thats uhh nuts. Cant say I have heard anything like that before, damn, just damn.

EDIT: Tho it made me giggle a little

I gata hear some more of these stories. Thats fucking epic priceless legendary hell dating shit.