Requesting a raise [M]

alanon

alanon

Jender's Next Victim
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FFXI
Alanon
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
 I do physical labor.
 I work at great depths.
 I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
 I do not get weekends or holidays off.
 I work in a damp environment.
 I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
 I work in high temperatures.
 My work exposes me to contagious diseases.


Sincerely,
The Penis


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised,
the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
 You do not work eight hours straight.
 You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
 You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.
 You do not take initiative. You need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
 You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
 You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.
 You will retire well before you are 65.
 You are unable to work double shifts.
 You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
 And if that were not enough, you are constantly seen entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management
 
Hehehe... Funny stuff.

I thought it was going to be another "complaint" about people bothering mages for Raise!
 
Great post, did you get it from ebaumsworld.com?
If you guys go to their text section they have this one and alot of other jokes, you should check it out.
 
Tsumaru said:
Great post, did you get it from ebaumsworld.com?
If you guys go to their text section they have this one and alot of other jokes, you should check it out.
Click to expand...

Lol actually, someone emailed it to me today. It had the title of this thread in the subject line so my first thought was, "Hey, I didnt know they played FFXI!!" :lol:
 
nice O_o
try to think of soemthing else too
 
Spalko said:
nice O_o
try to think of soemthing else too
Click to expand...

You guys really should check out http://www.ebaumsworld.com/txt.shtml. It's a riot.

This is another one off ebaumsworld.com:

A Sweet Story

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar.

I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?”

Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy!

I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots.

It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream “Oh Henry, Oh Henry!”

Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way.

She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, “Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff.” I said, “Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?”

(What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!)

She screamed, “Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!” as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup.

Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden... my Starburst!

Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach.

Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Baby Ruth!
 
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