Small vent...

[Mishaela]

Yeah...I know how everyone's sick of hearing my whining. I know how everyone's sick of my complaining about "every little problem I have" on the forums...that being said, you should know what this is. If you're looking to go getting off on making wiseass comments at the expense of others, do it somewhere else.

This is just my little vent...for both friends and enemies to see, I suppose, because I badly need advice...

Within the past year and a half, things have happened; my friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. One relative with colon cancer. I lost my cat whom I'd owned my entire life, vet forcing me to choose between putting him down or footing nearly $1000 for a surgery he had a near non-existant chance of living anyhow. Seven relatives within twelve months, including my father and grandpa, whom was the closest relative I had...Friend's breast cancer spread to the other side. Relative's colon cancer returned.

Despite all this loss, I did my best to look at the bright side of things. I still have family, and friends. I still have a dozen things to do as well as countless people to have fun with online. Of course, it'd seem, as I've always said, I'm not remotely close to always being right, and it'd seem these guesses aren't an exception.

My uncle moved in with us. He's a heavy alcoholic, pushes it on my mom. She's gradually drinking and smoking more than she ever has. Because I'm usually floating around doing chores or babysitting upstairs or generally just helping around the house, I'm constantly around her while she smokes and such - something the doctor demands I not do, or my breathing problems will get even worse. (I hafto use an inhaler during the winter and other times when the air is dry). Regardless, I hafto do what I hafto do, though unfortunately I've had blackouts nearly three times as often as I used to. It's causing serious problems both IRL and with things I've scheduled ingame...

On the topic of ingame; I thought I had alot of friends, and I currently am rather sure I do, and I'm quite thankful...but I was more than shocked when I tried signing up for a few HNM shells; two suggested giving me a "trial run" because I'm known to be whiny and selfish, but the third flat-out rejected me, because there seems to be a rumor that I "ninja lot" items...that is to say, I'm somehow known to lot items I'm not supposed to and then run without saying a word. I can't even grasp why someone would start this rumor, let alone the fact that an entire LS believed it...


To skip a bunchof bullsh-!t detail, I guess what I'd like to know, with all due honesty...what should I do? Am I trying too hard or something? It feels as though whenever I do I what I feel is right will just be at my own expense in the long run, and nomatter how hard I try there's people out there who'll hate me without giving me a chance...and no matter what I do it just winds up biting me in the ass, no matter how hard I try...I just don't know what to do. Am I really such a bad person as people have rumored me to be, even though I feel like I've been doing the right thing by helping whenever I can? I just don't get it...it just feels as though if I were the selfish, closed-up bitch people say I am I'd probably be even lesser known and such animalistic rumors wouldn't even exist to begin with, ironically...

 

[Kinkkerbelle]

Most end game linkshells require a trial run for each new member, or at least mine does and I'm pretty sure about the others. Don't take that personally.

I'm sorry about the other stuff in your life that is hard for your right now. Hopefully things will get better soon

 

[Myrrh]

Well i can give some advice on the RL stuff but end game stuff i suck at. Most i can say about that is don't let it bother you.

As for the Rl stuff, take it from someone who knows where you're coming from. Just try not to let it bother you as much, take a day off and do chick shit or w/e. Fart or something. Stuff that can put a smile on your face.

Instead of worrying about the present, look into the future and imagine your ideal life. Think of stuff going right, Little brothers going to jail, crazy mothers going to the looney bin are some examples. *cough*

Normally i'd say play FFXI to get your mind off stuff but since you are having problems there aswell that wouldn't be much help. Instead i suggest you take a week off of the game and your Rl.

Lvl a mule no one but you knows about. Skip school and think about your life. If you're not in school take a 3 hour walk with some music and friends. This is just stuff that works for me. I don't know what might work for you but try something that makes you happy.

And i don't think you posted more whinning threads then me >.> anyways /comfort and hope everything works out. try to have faith in the universe.

 

[K. Ishitar]

I'll try to spare some advice tommorrow, you remind me of Kipa and Ivyrain=/

I hope the best for ya

 

[Courtney]

I don't know you at all, but if you want to join an end game shell, accept one of the trials, and show them that you will be an asset to their shell.

If what you are looking for is a chance then that's your chance.

 

[Reeve]

In regards to the real life shit... life happens to toss alot of things our way all at once. We either learn to swim with it or we drown in it. Seems that life is a hard teacher but there is an old expression that comes to mind, do what you can and let god handle the rest. Some things are just out of your control, so do what you can with what you can and hope the rest will solve itself.

 

[Veovis]

Not any real advice or anything; but since i've had a lot of real tough bullshit in my own personal life these past few weeks, I can honestly say what i've learned throughout my ordeals. Perhaps this knowledge will help you.

Life sucks.

It sucks from the beginning. Whenever you have something good, something bad, terrible will come and steal that goodness. No one is ever really happy, they just believe that for the time being, they are.

Life sucks bad. It's the worst. Some days, people cant even get up and face the sun. It doesnt get better, either. The sooner one comes to terms with this one harsh truth is the moment one can begin to sort everything out. Knowing that it sucks doesnt make it better, but accepting that it sucks lets you view it from the stand point that "Things are as bad as they can get, they cant get any worse."

Thats the perspective of a fresh start. Now, we will logically ask ourselves; why should we even bother, if things are so tough and bad? Is it even worth it?

As hard and sucky as life is; theres those small moments of joy we share with others. Those times you can always think back on and smile. Theyre dotted throughout every life. Most days are mundane; the same old-same old. A lot of days are tough. But some of those days make it all worthwhile.

Do yourself a favor, Mishaela. It's something that's worked for me in my own recent times of trial.

Instead of thinking about all the bad shit in your life..the loss of loved ones, your poor kitty (my cat of 16 years died earlier this year, it's totally lame), the hardships of your friends, and even the bullshit on FF..Instead of looking at that, look always to those positive things you mentioned. Friends, family, fun, love, life, happiness. For every black cloud, theres always a silver lining or two. For every sorrow; there are sweet moments. For every tragedy theres a smile. Dont give in, or give up. Dont lose hope or faith in yourself.

Things get bad. Life gets hard. But then it always swings back around, its the law of the jungle. Kinda like karma, just in a broader sense and theres nothing you can do about this kind of karma. Theres always gonna be some bad in life. It's always gonna be an uphill battle. It's the same way for everyone. You gotta take that bad shit and build off it, let go of it, turn it around into something you can appreciate. Say something to your mother about your uncles smoking; or better yet, be a total ass about it. Cough and sputter all the time, and when they ask whats wrong, complain that you cant breathe with all the cigarette smoke in the air. It worked against my dad and uncle when they used to smoke inside. Be there for your friend with breast cancer. She'll need a strong arm to keep herself steady; especially in this most trying of times.

As for the end game stuff...Well..To hell with those bastards. If they dont want you, then youre better off without them. What the hell do they know about you anyway, if they believe some unfounded rumor? Any LS worth its salt would at least research and reference such a claim. Their loss.

Moral of the story is...you cant let the bad shit get to you, no matter how thick it might seem. The storm is fierce; but theres always a break around the corner. Stick to your guns, hold out hope. It'll be better before you know it.

You just gotta wait for it.

 

[Darkdante]

You are whiney, but fuck..... arnt we all?

Honestly though sounds like your getting treated just like everybody else out there.

Maybe you just need to lighten up on yourself a bit? Its good that you take shit seriously, but try not to be tooo serious, go with the flow.

 

[Hronorigger]

As president Calvin Coolidge once said
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race"
Life sucks sometimes and the only thing you have got to do is live through it the best you can. Everything will get better ^^

 

[Tenkax]

As long as I've known Mish she has been upfront and honest. She is in my sky shell and I'ver recently starting doing Dynamis with her as well. I have never known her to "ninja lot" or be devious in any manner so I don't know where these crazy rumor start. :nono:

As for your RL stuff...Hang in there, there are more people that care about you than you realize.

 

[Alyada]

I havn't known you (Mish) a super long time, and we've had our troubles before.

But that rumor shouldn't be spreading and it will stop with me, I can promise you that. I've never once heard anything about you ninja lotting until now. That's just crazy talk.

As for the real life stuff, I think Reeve put it best. Sink or swim, unfortunately. & you know that you have the back up of this forum if you ever need any help.

Best of luck.

 

[Zerayla]

I remember you from a few weeks ago, you randomly asked to help me and Xean farm a Uggalepih Coffer Key for a SMN friend of ours, that was after his AF. We had asked you what you were up to before that, and you said you had been camping an NM, but instead of continueing with that, you asked to join up with us and spent probably a good 2 hours helping. You also went and led our SMN friend to his coffer.

You didn't have to do that, you could of continued camping your NM.... but, you out of the blue, offered to help us out. There was nothing for you to gain profit wise, you didn't ask for anything in return... you just, helped.

I've met a lot of players in this game, most end up being selfish but there are always a few that I meet up with who make an impression and who I remember. You're one of them. I know you to be a really unselfish, friendly player who I believe would probably make a good member of a sky/hnm shell in the sense that you're not blinded by your own selfish gains.

All I can say is that if people haven't accepted you into their shell, don't let yourself feel down about it. You're probably not meant to be in their shell. Just keep looking around, and you'll find a good one i'm sure. If you're asked to have a "trial", i'd recommend giving it a shot because you have nothing to lose.

In regards to everything, i've always believed that the most valuable things we can obtain in life are always the ones we work the hardest for. In the end, when you've finally achieved your goals you're filled with a much better feeling than having been giving it free. So keep working as hard as you are, don't give up and by doing that you'll make everything worth it.

As to your RL issues, sometimes we're not really given the choice of how to live them when it involves other people, because we often sacrifice our own desires for others.(Again, showing that you're unselfish) Staying at home even though its affecting your health, because you have to babysit and help take care of your family is one of those things that some people might say is stupid and tell you to get out and live your life, take it in your own hands... but it seems you're already doing that, and by the sounds of it... your reasons are because you have a heart and care about the people around you.

Try to live your life as healthy as possible, but don't put yourself down. I think you're doing the right things, you think of others before you think of yourself and can't say I know too many people that are like that. Life is always filled with obstacles, but if you can get through them then you've passed the test and there's gotta be something good at the end

 

[Audino]

For what its worth, I have been running with Mish in dynamis for just short of a year now. Never once has she "ninja lotted" or even lotted any drops out of turn. Whoever started that rumor is an ass.