so i feel like a giant piece of shit

[Tok]

i've been talking to this girl for a couple weeks now, she lives a little ways away and i shoulda known better from the get go but shit kinda snowballed and she spent the weekend here over christmas break, nothin needs to be said about what happened over that weekend cause i would hope that it's kinda assumed on what happened

i should have said something before but at this time in my life i'm really hesitant about a relationship right now cause i just got started at my career and i really need to get my feet planted before i even think about shit like that and the fact that i am still kinda hurt by my last relationship (for those of you who know, you know what im talking about)

so i told her all of this and she took it really badly =( i told her that i want to be with her but not now at this time but she's still bummed about it...saying she feels stupid and now i feel horrible cause i feel like i took advantage of her and that i'm 'that guy' now, a fucking piece of shit deutch bag who takes advantage of girls

i really shouldn't ever date anyone, it's always a disaster
​

 

[Zhaoyun]

Being that guy isn't so bad.

 

[Sanoske]

If you actually care for the girl, then you're overreacting. And I assume because your overreacting, that you actually do care.

People make mistakes, I've done this mistake in particular, even though the lack of commitment was from her end in my case. You both need some time to cool off, I think. In the end, assuming you guys are mature enough... things will blow over, and you may even get to start that relationship.

But honestly, it's a good move on your part to hold off on things if you're just getting your feet planted in a career. The stress of starting out can be quite a load, and while having someone to help deal is nice, the strain for an existing relationship would be bumpy, for a brand new relationship it would just be crippling. (in most cases) So yea, get yourself set up, and then see where you are.

 

[Arctyrael]

Eh, either you're ready or you're not.
If you're hesitating, you're probably not and its better to be honest with her now than get involved in something you don't want.

So you're "that guy"... You'll both move on in time and not care in 2 - 3 weeks. Anyways, it is a two way street. If sex was a big deal to her then there would be a real relationship first and you would be beating yourself up for not wanting to be in a relationship, not for having sex with her and guilt tripping yourself.

 

[Rayn]

I agree with Arc, get settled and get your life in order. What good come from it if your life is chaotic and you're in a relationship? Not a damn thing.

You being honest about it and telling her is a great thing, some would just not even call or contact her ever again, and then you ARE one of those guys. You don't have to do anything else at this point since you were upfront with her.