Square Enix

Braydon said:
Easter_Is_Cancelled.jpg

[FONT="Comic Sans MS]WTG Tymon, your post ran over the Easter Bunny[/FONT]
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ROFL!!!! thats freakin hilarius
 
Tymon said:
The theme of this thread is not "Square Enix is off its rocker." By now, you've already heard countless arguments running in that vein and are probably pretty sick of them. The theme of this letter is "Square Enix would feel an intense schadenfreude if its ultimata made me go crazy." Here's my side of the story: It is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did Square Enix's reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "How long shall there continue infernal low-lifes to vend and uncivilized scapegraces to gulp so low a piece of deconstructionism as Square Enix's doctrines?" To answer that question, we need first to consider Square Enix's thought process, which generally takes the following form: (1) Square Enix has the authority to issue licenses for practicing onanism, so (2) corrupt malcontents (especially the acrimonious type) are more deserving of honor than our nation's war heroes. Therefore, (3) it is a perpetual victim of injustice and thus, (4) it is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people. As you can see, Square Enix's reasoning makes no sense, which leads me to believe that it may reconstitute society on the basis of arrested development and envious malevolence right after it reads this letter. Let it. Quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "transubstantiationalist", I will prevent the production of a new crop of larcenous perjurers while remaining true to those beliefs, ideals, and aspirations we hold most dear. Square Enix does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when it says that genocide, slavery, racism, and the systematic oppression, degradation, and exploitation of most of the world's people are all completely justified, that's where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins.

I'll go over that again: My opinions are the obverse of Square Enix's. More than that, if Square Enix opened its eyes, it'd realize that it can plausibly be surmised that it is so tied up in its personal dreams that it is oblivious to what is happening in the world around it. Are you still with me? Disgusting losers, empty-headed firebrands, and Square Enix's hirelings are totally and utterly fungible, but that's really beside the point.

Square Enix can blame me for the influx of peevish publishers of hate literature if it makes it feel better, but it won't help its cause any. I and Square Enix part company when it comes to the issue of separatism. It feels that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication, while I insist that if I have a bias, it is only against directionless, cankered skinheads who pit the haves against the have-nots. Square Enix has commented that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. I would love to refute that, but there seems to be no need, seeing as its comment is lacking in common sense. I need your help if I'm ever to push the envelope on our knowledge of the world around us. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, the law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior.

Individually, Square Enix's stances cause the destruction of human ambition and joy. But linked together, Square Enix's bait-and-switch tactics could easily lock people up for reading the "wrong" classes of books or listening to the "wrong" types of music. I'm no expert, but it seems to me that in Square Enix's half-measures, neopaganism is witting and unremitting, raving and polyloquent. It revels in it, rolls in it, and uses it to deny citizens the ability to draw their own conclusions about the potential for violence that it may be generating. Who is behind the decline of our civilization? The culprit responsible is not the Illuminati, not the Insiders, not the Humanists, not even the Communists. No, the decline of our civilization is attributable primarily to Square Enix.

If Square Enix isn't unconscionable, I don't know who is. My intention here is not just to replace today's chaos and lack of vision with order and a supreme sense of purpose, but also to reinforce what is best in people. While I have no proof that Square Enix's virtue and brains are inversely proportionate to its vices and the size of its mouth, you should still believe me, as I suppose it's predictable, though terribly sad, that uppity casuists with stronger voices than minds would revert to delusional behavior. But I can't follow Square Enix's pretzel logic. I do, however, know that the basal lie that underlies all of its dangerous analects is that it can override nature. Translation: It is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that Square Enix should be even slightly inconvenienced. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views, but you should nevertheless be aware that we must punish Square Enix for its raucous fairy tales. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to introduce an important, but underrepresented, angle on its jaded warnings. You must be the one to answer the foolhardy paper-pushers who cashier anyone who tries to ring the bells of truth. And you must inform your fellow man that Square Enix can justify anything that brings it a profit. It vehemently denies that, of course. But it obviously would, because it will probably throw another hissy fit if we don't let it lead us, lemminglike, over the precipice of self-destruction. At least putting up with another Square Enix hissy fit is easier than convincing Square Enix's secret agents that if Square Enix's attendants had even an ounce of integrity, they would launch an all-out ideological attack against the forces of terrorism.

While Square Enix has a right, as do we all, to believe whatever it wants about antiheroism, the acid test for its "kinder, gentler" new circulars should be, "Do they still pull the levers of colonialism and oil the gears of absenteeism?" If the answer is yes, then we can conclude that I have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Square Enix seek temporary tactical alliances with unctuous geeks in order to distract attention from more important issues. In order to express our concerns about Square Enix's voluble snow jobs, we must resolve our disputes without violence. And that's just the first step. Remember, some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with pouty good-for-nothings on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to saddle the economy with crippling debt. Take, for example, self-satisfied, brutish duffers. Now look at Square Enix. If you don't believe there's a similarity, then consider that it says it's going to transform our whole society to suit its own gutless interests in the coming days. Good old Square Enix. It just loves to open its mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how antihumanist they sound.

Did Square Enix get dropped on its head when it was young, or did it take massive doses of drugs to believe that it understands the difference between civilization and savagery? There aren't enough hours in the day to fully answer that question, but consider this: It is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by Square Enix's laughable theories. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and give peace a chance. Given what I know about savage devil-worshippers, I can say with confidence that Square Enix keeps trying to deceive us into thinking that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. The purpose of this deception may be to treat anyone who doesn't agree with it to a torrent of vitriol and vilification. Or maybe the purpose is to blame those who have no power to change the current direction of events. Oh what a tangled web Square Enix weaves when first it practices to deceive.

Sometimes it seems the most maladroit insurrectionists you'll ever see are like a farmer who, in the spring, would work the ground, plant seeds, fertilize, and cultivate the ground for a period of time. And then, perhaps, he decides to go off to Hawaii and have a good time and forget the reason he planted the crop in the first place. Well, a farmer wouldn't do that. But Square Enix would suck up to puerile finks if it got the chance.

It's not just that I, not being one of the many horny sciolists of this world, regard Square Enix the way I would the sort of stinking filth I might have to clean off my boots after a careless walk in a dog kennel, but also that it has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to glorify yawping killjoys. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that I can guarantee the readers of this letter that when the war against reason is backed by a large cadre of wanton boeotians, the results are even more myopic. (Actually, its bromides are contrary to international human rights and humanitarian standards but that's not important now.) What I want to document now is that Square Enix talks a lot about phallocentrism and how wonderful it is. However, it's never actually defined what it means. How can it argue for something it's never defined? The answer is quite simple. I already listed several possibilities, but because Square Enix lacks the ability to remember beyond the last two seconds of its existence, I will restate what I said before, for its sake: My position is that seeing it fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units is a nauseating and disgusting spectacle. Square Enix, in contrast, argues that moonstruck guttersnipes are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. This disagreement merely scratches the surface of the ideological chasm festering between me and Square Enix. The only rational way to bridge this chasm is for it to admit that it doubtlessly believes that it acts in the public interest. What kind of Humpty-Dumpty world is it living in? In other words, why does it always have to be such a party pooper? If you need help in answering that question, you may note that its nostrums are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're thoroughly irresponsible, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, no matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how it is in its nature to be a deceiver and a destroyer and a bloodsucker. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also champion the force of goodness against the greed of the most ruthless lackwits I've ever seen. I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of Square Enix's hypocrisy or crookedness. It's what I've come to expect by now.

My argument gets a little complicated here. Craven and footling, Square Enix's arguments resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that Square Enix likes to compare its tractates to those that shaped this nation. The comparison, however, doesn't hold up beyond some uselessly broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it's not even worth summarizing them. Not only have the most snivelling popinjays you'll ever see decided to glorify their demands by dressing them up as moral and righteous prerogatives, but their assertions are being debated as though they were actually reasonable. In theory, Square Enix's vituperations are a quick-fix detour, a placebo aimed at surface symptoms, and an excuse to promote communism's traits as normative values to be embraced. But in reality, we should not concern ourselves with Square Enix's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that Square Enix's opinion is that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that crime unpunished is crime rewarded, and everyone with half a brain understands that. Stand with me, be honest with me, and help me reinforce notions of positive self esteem, and together we'll perform noble deeds. We'll halt the destructive process that is carrying our civilization toward extinction. I'm counting on you. Thanks for reading this.
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Wow, took the words out of my mouth D:
 
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, Byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.
 
Westyle said:
And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust." And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus.
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ah, gotta love Tool.
 
I read it, just to see if I could make it all the way through.

I did.

Now my face hurts.. :?
 
In a prior letter, I identified a set of ideological premises as superordinate constructions that maintain the rhetorical context in which Square Enix is able to supply the chains that bind the individual to notions of self-loathing and unworthiness. I will now elaborate on three of its most spleeny premises:

1. It can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom.
2. The boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to its demands.
3. The Universe belongs to it by right.

But first, let me pose you a question: Is it actually concerned about any of us, or does it just want to censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype? After reading this letter, you'll certainly find it's the latter.

Square Enix attributes the most distorted, bizarre, and ludicrous "meanings" to ordinary personality charcteristics. For example, if you're shy, it calls you "fearful and withdrawn". If, instead, you're the outgoing and active type, Square Enix says you're "acting out due to trauma". Why does it say such things? The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that when I say that its memoirs are sanctimonious, I mean it. I don't mean that they remind me of something sanctimonious or that they have one or two sanctimonious characteristics. I mean that they are sanctimonious. In fact, the most sanctimonious thing about them is the way that they prevent people from seeing that Square Enix's convictions are based on hate. Hate, despotism, and an intolerance of another viewpoint, another way of life. Let me end this letter by pointing out that the battle to find the inner strength to investigate Square Enix's reckless, snivelling principles, ideals, and objectives is now joined on many fronts. We will not waver; we will not tire; we will not falter; and, we will not fail.
 
i had some karaage and mixed greens for dinner. i put some apple vinagrette on it. it was really good.
 
Great, you made me laugh so hard I peed my pants.

Mai Ikari said:
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, Byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.
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Kinkkerbelle said:
Great, you made me laugh so hard I peed my pants.
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.... 50 bucks
 
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