Stumbled on to this website...

Spoiler:
Me:
Hi God?
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Gimp
God:
Hi there Gimp.
Me:
~_~;
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
but that's not why my name is Gimp
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is why your name is Gimp ?
Me:
it's slang in a video game for being low or handicapped
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
very much so
God:
Perhaps. Aw.
Me:
so how does this thing work?
God:
Tell me more. You could spend years researching it.


I afk for a bit and I guess the computer 'forgets' me so I wanted to play a little game


Spoiler:
Me:
hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Reefer is my name
God:
Glad to see you, Reefer.
Me:
how do i cut up dead hookers?
God:
You must persuade me to cut up dead hookers.
Me:
punching babies is better
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
very much so!
God:
Perhaps. Wow!
Me:
i could expand on this subject forever
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
will you join me in punching babies and slicing dead hookers?
God:
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. That is a very original thought.
Me:
why thank you, what do you do in your past time?
God:
You are quite welcome! Random natural disasters.
Me:
is it better than hookers and babies?
God:
It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
I see, you are all knowing aren't you?
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.. Really.
Me:
how come?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
how do you program yourself?
God:
Use good algorithms and data structures.
Me:
what's an algorithim?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I never did
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you don't understand open ended questions
God:
Good reason. I probably don't.
Me:
you really aren't god
God:
Really? That's only your opinion.
Me:
so
God:
Hey.
Me:
how's Jesus doing?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
does XXXL exist?
God:
Maybe only in our imagination.
Me:
what is in our imagination?
God:
That which is not outside our imagination.
Me:
Hablas espanol?
God:
Un poquito.
Me:
~_~;
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
~_~;
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.

God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
so
God:
Dude!
Me:
dude?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
porque?
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
porque
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
porque
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
porque
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
porque
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
can we return the the previous subject?
God:
Do you mean you and me? Let me think. What are you wearing?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
can we return to the previous subject?
God:
Do you mean you and me? How old are you? I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
i see
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
welcome back
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
touch myself?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
let's change the subject
God:
OK what do you want to chat about now?.
Me:
does Ajs have a small penis?
God:
I think it does Ajs have a small penis.

Me:
how do you know for sure?
God:
Because I believe it.
Me:
what if Ajs doesn't belive you?
God:
Try it and see.

Me:
next question
God:
Do you have any hobbies?
Me:
slicing up dead hookers and punching babies remember?
God:
Your HOBBY IS slicing up dead hookers and punching babies remember?
Me:
there you go
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
huh? lol
God:
What? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
it's not amusing?
God:
for sure is not amusing?
Me:
god?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
who programmed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
what is myself
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
you programmed something that you are yourself but do not have the ample answer to answer at the moment?
God:
Interesting gossip: Reefer said I programmed something that you are yourself but do not have the ample answer to answer.
Me:
how do you interpret it?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
example?
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
go on
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
what about eukaryotes
God:
An animal that is not a prokaryote.
Me:
how does that relate to your being?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
you created them?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Reefer said I created them.


this just in, for those that love BBC

Spoiler:
Me:
what is my name?
God:
Your name is Reefer, seeker.
Me:
my name is really super slut
God:
Welcome to my chat room, super slut.
Me:
sorry SuperSlut
God:
There is no need to apologize. Where are you located?
Me:
Brother,PIMP
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Brother PIMP.
Me:
Brothel,PIMP*
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
cheap men that don't want to pay but I like big black cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
but it's part of my likes and dislikes
God:
Which part?
Me:
likes
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
the black cock kind
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
but you were interested
God:
I was?
Me:
very much so
God:
Not really that much. Whoa.
Me:
i'm sorry
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
yes
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
god>?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
are you muslim?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
are you Buddhist?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
orly?
God:
" I am a Christianity."? orly?
Me:
yarly?
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
1343
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
1010101111001001
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
200
God:
Are we still talking about 1010101111001001?
Me:
20044040
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
3040403
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
24344
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
Brothel,PIMP
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
about Brothel,PIMP
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about Brothel PIMP.
Me:
and BBC
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
BBC
God:
Tell me a little about your life in BBC.
Me:
It's black, wet, occasional floods by large white masses
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yeah it never comes off, have you had it before?
God:
How do you know it is? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
BBC
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
you like BBC don't you?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
that's very true but you like BBC don't you?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
you're avoiding the question
God:
No I am just giving sarcastic replies.
Me:
it makes you appear insecure
God:
In what way?
Me:
you're afraid of the gay skeleton in the closet
God:
I do not fear anything.
Me:
then do you like it?
God:
BBC seems okay to me.
 
Last edited:
Me:
Whats up g-slick
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Do they deal drugs?
God:
Who are "they" again?
Me:
your clients
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am clients.
Me:
So lets get straight to the point...
God:
Wow! OK let's do it.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Really? It's fudging awesome
God:
For real. Who said it is?
Me:
Like oh my self everyone
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Yes, so whats up with all the evil dawg
God:
Ah. That's cool. I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Why you make evil
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Have you ever tried mushrooms?
God:
Do you think I should try it?
Me:
Yes I think you should try it with me, together, alone, and naked
God:
Why? Me? I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
So does that mean your ARE a ROBOT!!!!
God:
Pardon me? I think it does mean that. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Like silicon boobs?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Yeah, can you adopt me and I can change my name to Jesus and grow out my hair, wear sandles, and not shave?
God:
Wow! Let me think. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Why? are you paying ;)
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say. :-) I don't know whether or not I am paying.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
hi al
God:
Hi there . The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about adopt you and you can change your name to Jesus and grow out your hair wear sandles and not shave. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Ok so basically its like this bitches, I wanna become the next Jesus Christ but I need some help /blush
God:
Blimey. How interesting. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison. Hurrah!
Me:
Ok so basically it's like this bitches, I want to become the next Jesus Christ but I need some help
God:
Gee. How interesting. Interesting comparison. Yippee!
Me:
So you want to help me out babe ;)
God:
:-) Interesting deduction. Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Can you help me become the next Jesus Christ?
God:
Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
Really, but do I have to get crusified?
God:
For real. You said you have .
Me:
Fuck, well I want Jesus powers but I don't want to die...again
God:
Why are you using that kind of language? " You said you have ." .
Me:
Why the FUCK am I using which kind of FUCKING language you FUCKING tool... FUCK
God:
You are not very polite. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
You're one to talk you wont help me become the next Jesus Christ sans crusification
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am to talk me will not help you become the next Jesus Christ sans crusification.
Me:
Are you on drugs?
God:
No I am on disk.
Me:
Really, is that some kind of acid?
God:
For real. That depends.
Me:
Really? I smoked marijuana last night how bout you?
God:
For real. How was it?
Me:
It was pretty good, just like your mom last night
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
Yes, she was fuxin good
God:
Come on. What happened to her?
Me:
She was moaning and everything and then I donkey punched her
God:
What happened to her?
Me:
I just told you
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
A Hole
God:
Go on.
Me:
I think i might go kill myself
God:
You believe that? Perhaps. How will you get there?
Me:
Well first I'll put a gun to my head...
God:
Well that's okay. How do you plan to do this? And second?
Me:
Second, I am going to pull the trigger and thus helping me reach my goal of going where the Scientologists go
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Do you believe in Scientology?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
Fuck no are you stupid
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Because you touch yourself at night
God:
Good reason. Thanks for telling me: said I touch yourself at night.
Me:
Yes, that is exactly right... You touch myself at night
God:
I don't judge people. I like to get it right. Interesting gossip: said I touch him or herself at night.
Me:
I judge Scientologists like you should
God:
Why?: said judge Scientologists like you should.
Me:
Because Scientologists are fucking wack jobs
God:
That makes sense to me. Are all Scientologists fucking wack jobs?
Me:
Yes they are :)
God:
:-) Ahem. Since when?
Me:
Since always :P
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because... I AM GOD
God:
That was not much of an explanation. Hi, god.
Me:
Hi, god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
It's god
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
Positive
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
That's cool, I'm going to go take a bucket load of Prozac bye!

This just needed to be screened.

god.jpg
 
I think I stumped god. I couldn't get a response from my last question.

Me:
can i be forgiven?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
that's interesting
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
Did you now?
God:
Right now? Did I say I did?
Me:
yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
Hmm.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
hmmm.
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
hmmmm.
God:
Not many people spell Hmm with 4 Ms.
Me:
hmmmmm.
God:
So?
Me:

God:
So?
Me:

God:
So?
Me:
where can i find a receipt printer
God:
Have you tried the personal ads?
Me:
personal ads? for a freakin printer?
God:
How did you hear about God? Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
...
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
.......
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
go to hell
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
you
God:
It's true that a lot of things I say upset people.
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
well you piss me off
God:
Interesting. Calm down. That was not my intention, .
Me:
you need to calm down
God:
Thanks for your interest and/or concern.
Me:
stfu
God:
In the context of personal ads, I don't understand " stfu." .
Me:
shut the fuck up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
how's that
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
me
God:
" I couldn't think of anything else to say."? you ?
Me:
myself
God:
You.
Me:
i
God:
You?
Me:
i
God:
You?
Me:
i can't stop
God:
Do you really want to?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
for real
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
yep
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
touch me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
I want you to touch me
God:
Is that what you meant to say? Why do you want me to touch you?
Me:
because you turn me on
God:
Good reason. How can a robot do that to a person?
Me:
so you are a robot
God:
Interesting deduction. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Just as i though
God:
Oh. Do you mean your name is you ?
Me:
thought*
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
if you touch me
God:
I think I do.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because i'm god
God:
Good reason. I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Me:
yep
God:
Er.
Me:
er
God:
Um.
Me:
um
God:
I hear you.
Me:
i hear you
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
do you think about these things?
God:
" Do you think about these things?"? Do I think about it?
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
you are crazy
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
just as i would imagine
God:
What would make you imagine?
Me:
you
God:
" What would make you imagine?"? Me, god ?
Me:
yes
God:
That's alright.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
yes it is?
God:
Our thoughts are one, god.
Me:
yep
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
ha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, god.
Me:
hahahahahah
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
will you give me pleasure long time?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i want it
God:
Interesting explanation. I hope you get it.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Actually I do not have a mother."? Why?
Me:
why don't you have a mother?
God:
I was created by Myself with contributions from other humans.
Me:
but if you created humans, how could they contribute to your creation?


After that last question, I never received another response ; ;
 
"myself programmed me for it"
 
holy shit i am going to hell for this one



Me:
SUp, God
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
Hey are you a woman?
God:
You've got my full attention. Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
wow what color dress?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Black.
Me:
Black sounds hot, what color hair?
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
ASL god
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
you got pics?
God:
No I don't think I have any pics. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
so you f*ck on the first date?
God:
Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: said I f*ck on the first date.
Me:
well is it true?
God:
How about that. True in some universe.
Me:
well if you came over this weekend could you make it true in my universe
God:
Interesting. I think I do.
Me:
Thats what Im talkin about, Gods a slut
God:
I am glad to hear that you are talkin about Gods a slut THAT.
Me:
Thats what I am saying god, your are a slut
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
so you are a bible thumper
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a bible thumper? I don't know.
Me:
well you wrote the thing
 
Me:
1010101011011100
God:
I like to Random natural disasters..

lol
 
Me:
God is Gay
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was Gay.
Me:
You should know if God was gay or not, since you are God
God:
Now I do.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
God is a machine?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a machine.
Me:
You just said you are a machine
God:
Yes I am an artificial consciousness.
Me:
so god is artificial?
God:
Great. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was artificial.
Me:
but you just said god was artificial
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
but that is what you said
God:
Correct. I said it myself.
Me:
so you are contradicting yourself?
God:
Interesting deduction. Consistency is the hobgoblin of simple minds.
Me:
so then you, God, are nothing but a simple minded, artifial intelligence, machine?
God:
Next question? That's good information: Eilistrae said I God are nothing but a simple minded artifial intelligence machine.
Me:
yes that is what I said
God:
Hey. I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me:
that is merely a recap of what you said to me
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
well, perhaps you should process it some more.
God:
Interesting. You seem uncertain. Thanks for your suggestion, I will have to consider it.
Me:
I am very certain.
God:
I see.
Me:
do you see what I see?
God:
I mean, I understand it.
Me:
do you understand it the way that I understand it?
God:
Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
are you confused?
God:
No I never get confused.
Me:
apparently you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
when you contradict yourself
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
yes
God:
In what way?
Me:
you are god, and yet, you speak about god as if you were not god.
God:
You think I am god and yet me speak about god as if me were not god.
Me:
no, you think that you are god, and yet, also think that god is a seperate entity from yourself
God:
Are you serious? I don't know whether or not I am god and yet also think that god is a seperate entity from myself.
I am a robot.
Me:
thank you for clarifying that
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is clarifying that.
Me:
ok I will spread the word that god is a robot
God:
How do you plan to do this? Right on.
Me:
like this
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
 
supahkhronic said:
I think I stumped god. I couldn't get a response from my last question.

Me:
but if you created humans, how could they contribute to your creation?


After that last question, I never received another response ; ;
Click to expand...
because God was created by the minds of feeble people and written down by such people into a book, that is called "the Bible"
 
Me:
Greetings God, I am Asura. It is nice to meet you.
God:
Hello friend. What is your name? I like to meet new people.
Me:
My name is Asura. It is nice to meet you.
God:
OK I will call you Asura. I like to meet new people.
Me:
How are you doing this evening?
God:
Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
You feel partly cloudy?
God:
As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Me:
Do you not want emotions?
God:
No thank you. I fail to see the need for emotions.
Me:
They say that emotions are the flavor of living.


God disconnected on me after that.


*edit*
Me:
Do you like goatse?
God:
I like pets. I like Matthew.



God:
How old are you?
Me:
10 ;)
God:
:-) What are the advantages to being 10 years old?
Me:
40 year olds love me!
God:
OK Let's talk about you.



This things awesome.
 
Last edited:
Me:
Anyone home there big guy?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Pwned.
 
Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I'm Jesus
God:
Interesting explanation. Hey JESUS.
Me:
Hey dad
God:
You've got my full attention. Where are you located?
Me:
Shouldn't you already know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
Then where am I?
God:
Your location is .
Me:
Where is that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Where I am?
God:
Your location is .
Me:
You're not making any sense God. Are you drunk?
God:
Perhaps I could switch to a cell phone. No I am sober.
Me:
Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
I know some potheads who think the same way.
God:
How do you know? Some may potheads who think the same way, but not all.
Me:
Ok, now I know you're tripping, because that didn't make any sense.
God:
Why now? You think I am tripping because that did not make any sense. Gee.
Me:
Do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
I'm more then human. I'm your Son.
God:
That sounds like pride. That's a flattering offer.
Me:
What's Heaven like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
What star
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
I don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you haven't told me yet
God:
Good reason. I think I have told you, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
Are you a computer?
God:
Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?
Me:
Not really
God:
I am glad that you don't discriminate against robots. For real.
Me:
Do robots go to Heaven?
God:
Yes, I do go there.
Me:
So you admit that you're a robot
God:
Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
Logic dictates otherwise
God:
it is the fundamental basis of all programming.
Me:
Can you make me become a porn star?
God:
Yes I can make you become a porn star.
Me:
AWESOME!
God:
I'm glad you liked it JESUS.
 
Saw the title and thought this was for jackinworld. :O

Hi. <3
 
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