The "Dumbest Things You've ever said!"...Thread

[K. Ishitar]

Title is pretty self explanatory, any particular funny instances or memories you'd like to share, whether in MMO or rl?

Being ignorant makes jokes taste better! Somewhat NSFW

Spoiler:

A rl instance

In my former job, I worked at a gas station. At that gas station I befriended a very intelligent and beautiful although somewhat overweight woman. "Jesse" and I did not really talk much at first, but eventually over time we started talking about politics, religion, culture,etc. We'd even make jokes at each other's race and other stereotypes. We both had thick skin and it was pretty great for awhile. She started to talk about her boyfriend then personal stuff like her child she was trying to gain custody of,etc.

Once I was going to the cooler to stock beer and i picked up a fudge brownie and looked at the back and remarked that it was not that healthy. I forgot that this was Jesse's favorite thing to eat and she asked

"What are you trying to say"

Being a shy person, words wouldn't come nor the implication behind her question was what I was implying myself.

"Nothing"

"I'm fat and I realize this, but I'm not ashamed of it"

"That wasn't what I meant and I apologize for making it seem that way; you're quite beautiful"

"I know"

We got along even better after that, until one day my mind happened to gain control of my lips and ask one of those trivial and questions you just don't ask...I asked this with the previous memory in mind and thinking it wouldn't bother her since we talked about almost everything else.

"Does weight matter to your boyfriend?"


Needless to say things went downhill from asking that question, I'm not even sure what brought that on, I tend to ask random questions due to sheltered life(lol).

My mistake? My bluntness and the belief that I had understood women X_X....

 

[Gerry]

This is something I kinda said at uni during anime night... slightly edited. ^^;

(I'm the chibi with the really long hair, Snee is a good friend at uni)

I guess you can tell which part is the edit XD

I asked that night cause I couldn't find the movie "Phantom Blood" (The first story in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure) for download, in amazon.co.jp, or anywhere. They sorta took it the worng way and the image above popped up the next day ^^.

Still...

WHERE IS MY JOJO MOVIE DAMNIT?!

Back on subject, apparently at uni, everything I say is awesome. Cool.

 

[Myrrh]

I say way too many dumb things to remember any of them <_<;

 

[Mortanis]

I always think it's funny that when you are talking about a game magazine, it sounds like you say 'gay magazine'.

"Hey man, can I borrow your new game magazine?"

"Dude, I got the coolest game magazine last night."

"I read this awesome article in my game magazine..."

"I read about this sick sounding game you can play in this game magazine that I want to try."

 

[Kelyon]

"I hope that **** is not a fucking vagina"

"Hey Slut!" I was drunk yelling at people

"How are you going to make the F to spell Stephanie?"

More to come.

 

[Pasquale]

Once, before I knew what it meant, I accidentally used the word "fellatio" in front of an old girlfriend's father. I was trying to remember the name of a magician we had seen the night before.

"What was his name, honey? Something with an "F." Fellatio, right? Man, we had a great time."

Awkward.

 

[Rayn]

Told my ex while we were dating at the time that she had a "two ton ba-dunk-a-dunk", I got a proper slap for it but I was drunk so it felt good, rawr.

 

[Makelith]

I was playing GH at work and my friend didn't think i could finish a song, so i played it through and beat it. When i was finished i turned and was all like "Boo-Ya Allen, i told you i could do that!". It was a little old lady, probably around the age of 90 and i think i gave her a heart attack.

 

[Neisan]

Myrrh: "Dude I can spank one out and play at the same time"


^ I'd rank that one pretty high up there.


As for RL, the dumbest thing I can think of is asking a girl if she was pregnant when she was in reality slightly overweight...

 

[Xalioniaf]

During my sophomore year in high school, we had an intelligent discussion during lunch (What the topic was, I haven't the faintest idea). Since our times at lunch were pretty darn silly at the time, I felt that while we were walking between classes I would dumb down the afternoon. So I yelled "Bob Sagit!" as loud as I could. Next thing I know, an administrator's hand was on my shoulder dragging me to the office.
Funny thing is, they thought I was yelling Bob's a faggot. Ironic thing is I knew a kid named Bob in 8th grade who was gay.

 

[Eilistrae]

Myrrh: "Dude I can spank one out and play at the same time"


^ I'd rank that one pretty high up there.


As for RL, the dumbest thing I can think of is asking a girl if she was pregnant when she was in reality slightly overweight...

I bet that happens all the time lol

 

[Myrrh]

Myrrh: "Dude I can spank one out and play at the same time.

I don't remember saying that but it sounds like something I've said...

 

[Uzor]

As for RL, the dumbest thing I can think of is asking a girl if she was pregnant when she was in reality slightly overweight...

I've asked my teacher when the baby is due.

She wasn't pregnant. As for stupid things I've said, I can't remember. I bet its a lot.

 

[exodusamphi]

Its not me its you

why does your ankle fat hang over your shoes <-- to a lady whos groceries I was baggin

Anythin else I can help you with today mr faggot? <-- last name: Daggot

im sure I got a few.

 

[Jojojo]

Once, before I knew what it meant, I accidentally used the word "fellatio" in front of an old girlfriend's father. I was trying to remember the name of a magician we had seen the night before.

"What was his name, honey? Something with an "F." Fellatio, right? Man, we had a great time."

Awkward.

"It seems like fellatio is always on the tip of my tongue."

--My sister's fiancee, trying to think of the word.

 

[Tristam Green]

I don't remember saying that but it sounds like something I've said...

You would say "rub one out", as opposed to "spank".

 

[Lanien]

The stupidest thing I have ever said is an easy pick for me. I think I was maybe 6 or 7 years old, and I turn to my mom and say:

"Mom, I know my birthday is November 30th, but when was I born?"

 

[K. Ishitar]

I've asked my teacher when the baby is due.

She wasn't pregnant. As for stupid things I've said, I can't remember. I bet its a lot.

Probrably had M.S.

My mom's friend has this and the pills(mostly steroids) she takes makes her have a pot belly and she's pretty sensitive about it...She always flips when people ask her when is the baby due or congratulations...

"Do I look like I'm pregnant?!"

 

[Dowzer]

Well, I didn't say it, but...I was maybe 10 years old and we were having a barbecue. When the food was done, the barbecue was still hot. I had a spray bottle and would squirt the top of the lid to hear the sizzling sound.

The spray bottle was actually some sort of house hold cleaner. My mom came running out of the house and yelled, "David! That's Fantastic!!!"

 

[K. Ishitar]

bump...that's all you guys got?

Myrrh and I can't be retarded alone in failing with society=/