The Insult Sword Fighting Test

[jender]

It is no secret, my fav.games of all time are of the Monkey Island persuasion....so I got all kinds of warm and fuzzy when I found this:

The Monkey Island Insult Sword Fighting Test

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=9036390009908135146


jen :nyam: got - Captain Smirk
You scored 75% swordmastery! You teach swordplay for a living, and your nights are feverish with steel-spun fantasies of Carla's rape-- err... *rapier* wit.

Not only did you invent THE MACHINE, you know a damned good deal about how to stick those idiot road pirates where it hurts. However, your reparté is limited to the parroted tropes of street swordplay-- anything over two syllables makes you feel like you're three grogs under.

Maybe you should stop reading Sword Master fanfic and come to terms with your has-been status.

 

[Kyle]

69 % Been a while since I played MI lol!

 

[Blaine]

Captain Smirk
You scored 72% swordmastery!
You teach swordplay for a living, and your nights are feverish with steel-spun fantasies of Carla's rape-- err... *rapier* wit.

Not only did you invent THE MACHINE, you know a damned good deal about how to stick those idiot road pirates where it hurts. However, your repart� is limited to the parroted tropes of street swordplay-- anything over two syllables makes you feel like you're three grogs under.

Maybe you should stop reading Sword Master fanfic and come to terms with your has-been status.

and i've never even played the game... perhaps i need to stop being so good at having awsome comebacks?

 

[Skaw]

LeChuck
You scored 88% swordmastery!
The dreaded ghost pirate of Monkey Island, you enjoy bloodplay, busty pirate governors, and voodoo-powered amusement parks. You're a man with a luxurious view of Hell and a giant glowing root in your hull. You know exactly what you want in the afterlife. To bone Elaine Marley!

Of course, that's your downfall too, isn't it?
You've got the blistering sex-drive of a high school drama geek, and there's nothing for it but a subscription to Pirate Booty.
Ever considered settling? I hear Carla's single.

At least you're guaranteed some swordplay there.

 

[Rones]

Meathook
You scored 50% swordmastery!
Some years back, a tragic mis-encounter with a feathered demon left you with two hooks for hands. Months of living on an isolated island hasn't done you any favors, either. You talk to your tattooed naval and entertain lucid wet-dreams about being an artist.

If you tried to pick up a sword, even your mother would laugh.

But at least you *were* a pirate.
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I don't get it. What was it testing?

 

[Kyle]

You'd duel Pirates, and the way you'd beat them was to insult them better than they did you. Each insult they'd have would have 1 response that was correct. They were all just the insults from the game and testing if you remembered any of them.

 

[jender]

Meathook
You scored 50% swordmastery!
Some years back, a tragic mis-encounter with a feathered demon left you with two hooks for hands. Months of living on an isolated island hasn't done you any favors, either. You talk to your tattooed naval and entertain lucid wet-dreams about being an artist.

If you tried to pick up a sword, even your mother would laugh.

But at least you *were* a pirate.
----------------------
I don't get it. What was it testing?

Your "Insult Sword Fighting" skills, hence the title of the quiz...

 

[JerkFace]

Awesome

69% = Stan


Although he never presents with a rapier in his hands, the erratic spasms of his salespitchin' dance have a fighting form all their own. As to wit-- this man could sell you your tongue in a bed of peacock feathers before you could finish bleeding out.

Regardless, you still haven't got the gall bladder to spear you some pirate lung.
Stick to printing business cards.

Cool Test Jen!

 

[Runekane]

I LOVE MONKEY ISLAND!! One of my favorite games of all time

tripple edit - I can't get the html code to copy correctly... I scored 77, same information as Jen

 

[Mishaela]

Stan
You scored 66% swordmastery!
Stan is a man to be reckoned with.

Although he never presents with a rapier in his hands, the erratic spasms of his salespitchin' dance have a fighting form all their own. As to wit-- this man could sell you your tongue in a bed of peacock feathers before you could finish bleeding out.

Regardless, you still haven't got the gall bladder to spear you some pirate lung.
Stick to printing business cards.



....I never played Monkey Island. ><"

 

[Answa~]

I fail at life...

Meathook
You scored 41% swordmastery!
Some years back, a tragic mis-encounter with a feathered demon left you with two hooks for hands. Months of living on an isolated island hasn't done you any favors, either. You talk to your tattooed naval and entertain lucid wet-dreams about being an artist.

If you tried to pick up a sword, even your mother would laugh.

But at least you *were* a pirate.