This is 13 different kinds awesome

That is some of the funniest shit i've ever read. That guy is a good writer.
 
i've barely been able to stop reading this story. It's sort of like the 6th sense in that the main characters see spirits and aperisions and the like...it's rather wierd, kinda scarey, and extremely hilarious all at the same time. here's another snipit from later on in the book
"Okay. I have the bratwurst."

"Put it up to your head."

Pause.

"I'm going to have to ask you why, John."

"I have to show you something."

Glancing around, I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible as I laid the sausage against my ear.

"Dave? Can you hear me?"

John's voice, coming clear as day through the tube of seasoned meat. I glanced down at the cell phone and got the point. The display was black, the glass busted out of it. A green circuit board was poking out the warped seam along one side.

"All right, all right. I'm hearing you through, some kind of psychic vibration or whatever and the phone isn't important. I get it. You could have just told me that."

I lowered the sausage, and replaced it with the cell.

"Okay, what's next?"

Nothing.

I heard a faint sound coming from the bratwurst, put it back to my head.

"Dave? Are you there?"

"Yeah. I can't get you through the cell now."

"You have to talk through the bratwurst from now on. I'm sorry. I didn't know it would do that."
Click to expand...
 
God damn Ith, thanks for this story. It's freaking sweet. It caters to two of my fav things. Weird shit and comedy. ^_^ on page 15 and can't stop reading, Looks like i'm pulling an all nighter to read this.

I thought of John's last pet, a little terrier dog that jumped out of his third-floor apartment window and died while he played Final Fantasy III on the couch. A year before that he had a little dog that got ran over while John stood ten feet away, smoking. Yeah, Cucumber will be in good hands, Big Jim.
Click to expand...


Win ^_^
 
Last edited:
This is a great read at work. I'm 2 pages in so far, f*cking hilarious. :D

I reached for the knob at the same moment it began to melt and transform, turning pink and finally taking the shape of a flaccid penis. It flopped softly against the door, like a man was cramming it through the knobhole from the other side.

I turned back to John and said, "that door cannot be opened."
Click to expand...
 
Yo, I'm bumping this shit cause i just finished the story and it deveres to be read. GO READ IT NOW. Greatest story ever!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top