I have no reservations about being equally racists to someone in retaliation, although I wouldn't start going down that road first. If your argument with someone is at the racial slur stage, it's not an argument, it's a shit-flinging contest, so you're going to gain nothing from it anyway. The hypocrisy I see is black people calling each other "N!gga" or whatever, but then being grossly offended when someone who's not their colour uses the same word; that, to me, is more racist than the word itself - only people with the same skin colour as yourself are allowed to use those kind of words? Don't think so.
As for "owning" a word, nobody owns a word. I didn't quote whoever was talking pish about owning N!gger, because I had another page or so to read through before adding my opinions, but that's horseshit. You don't "own" any word. Nobody owns any words, regardless of your social status, skin colour, religion, or anything else. This isn't a piece of land we're talking about here, and your arguments make me giggle.
"It's our word and we took ownership back" is such an ignorant thing to say for more than one reason. Not only are you clamining ownership of a part of the english language and the sole right to use certain words, but you're inciting more racism by segragating whites and blacks even more than they already are.
Some of my best friends in-game are black, I love them dearly, and would never use such words in their presence. But as I said, if someone of a different colour comes at me with racial insults, it's already clear I'm not going to get an intellectual conversation and you best believe they'll get the worst words in my mouth back.