This is a story I'm writing right now, the three main characters, Lee, which is supposed to be me, Gary, who is supposed to be my little brother, and Raya, who is a figment of my imagination can all control time and the intro, and alot of the story, is set in my town, this was an English folio piece, for which I did the Intro as an 'extract' but I'm going to continue writing because I like the plot I started to develop 
so, I will post my story here as I write more and add to it, any and all feedback would be great.
Before starting to read this, please bear in mind, this fits on two and a half pieces of A4 for as it stands so it might be a bit long to try and read.
And so, without further adu.
Warriors of Time
Intro: An Awakening
"Rain, again. My boot's stuck in mud, again. Really can't be bothered trying to get it unstuck, again. Fallen face first into the mud, again," Gary spluttered to himself, "I want something different! AGAIN!"
Climbing to his feet, eventually pulling his boot out of the squelching ground, Gary kept walking, his stomach turning at the noise his boots kept making.
Eventually Gary made it to the hill just up from Kinneil School.
"Gary! Back here!" said a voice behind him, which turned out to belong to his best friend, Ryan,
"Hiya Ryan," Gary mumbled in a bored voice as they began to descend the hill to the school,
"Still determined to find something different and new in good, old, boring Bo'ness?"
"Aye, it's definitely not the weather though," they both laughed, despite their obvious disgust for Scottish 'showers.'
Reaching the gates to the school, they ran down the path, into the school, through the corridors, hanging up their coats and entering the din that was the class of primary six.
People were bounding about the classroom, standing on tables, drawing on the chalkboard, getting a good exercise, and as usual Mrs. Jones was sitting in the corner, pulling her hair out and for all the world looking like an escaped mental patient, and she might as well have been, having the 'privilege' of teaching this class. Gary and Ryan sat down in their seats, the only ones actually waiting for class to start, getting out their books while everyone else began to tire and sit down in their own seats, while Mrs. Jones worked up her courage and walked to the front of the room and began to start the class,
"Alright, class," she said in that shriek of a voice she had, "Today we will be. . ." after that Gary just stopped listening.
Tapping his pencil on the desk, looking out, through the window, at a couple of birds and a few clouds, becoming completely oblivious of the questions on the board and the scribbling of every other pupil around him,
"Maybe you should start?" Ryan whispered beside him,
"Why bother? It's the same as yesterday," Gary replied in his 'not so quiet, giving the impression of being completely bored' way,
"How do you know if you haven't even looked at the board yet?" Ryan gave it away in an instant.
Gary looked up at the board.
Revision.
"This is gonna be a long day," Gary sighed.
After what seemed like years, the bell went for the end of school, and Gary charged up the path, leaving Ryan, literally, in a cloud of dust.
Gary picked up a few rocks and looked at the windows of the house he was walking by,
"Well, it'll be different," Gary muttered, lobbing a stone at and through the window and running away.
Gary lobbed the other stones at car windows on his way home, but, being lost in a complete daze of what he had done, and how boring it had gotten after only three smashes, he ended up somewhere he hadn't even realized existed in Bo'ness.
A huge patch of open ground, it looked to have held a building upon it at some point in time, but it had been torn down, and now it was just all-flat earth as far as the eye could see.
"Hey, you! Did you throw those stones?" someone shouted from behind him,
"Um... yeah," Gary said, just as he had turned to face the owner of the rough voice,
He was tall, wore jeans that were about four sizes too big, a shirt that had about five different types of stains, and looked altogether the worse for wear, the description of a casual psychopath,
"I'm sick of you hooligans," he roared, raising what appeared to be a double-barreled shotgun.
Gary raised his arms over his face, clenching his fists, waiting for the inevitable BANG of the shotgun shells, hurtling towards him and lifting him fully of his feet, knocking him into a tree behind him, thus killing him.
But it never came.
Gary lowered his arms, fists still clenched, to see the psychopath with his gun aimed at where he stood, or had stood, as Gary moved closer to the psychopath, he could see he wasn't moving, nothing was.
Gary looked up at the sky, birds had stopped moving too.
Gary noticed the raindrops now too, stretching out one hand, the other still clenched, he slapped away the water.
Gary's hands were starting to hurt him, so he stretched his fingers out as far as they would go, and was startled by an ear splitting BANG, accompanied by the splintering of wood.
Everything had started moving again, and the psychopath had reloaded and aimed at him again.
Going on a theory, Gary raised his hands, turned both his arms to shield his entire head and neck, and clenched his fists again.
Again the BANG was delayed.
Keeping his fists tight, he opened his arms.
Time had stopped again.
He could stop time.
Gary ran as quickly as he could, but not before kicking the psycho so hard in the head that when he woke up, he wouldn't remember a thing, which turned out to be an unusual stroke of luck, because, when the psychopath did come to, he woke up with a shotgun in his hand, and four empty shotgun shells.
The psychopath quickly admitted himself into a mental institution.
A bizarre stroke of luck indeed.
Gary burst through the door, rushing upstairs, shouting, "Can't talk, lots of homework to do," and crashing through the door of his bedroom, locking it behind him, and started thinking up what things were cooler than being able to control time.
He couldn't think of any.
On a distant hill, Raya Kanen awoke to a tremor underneath her,
"A new power has awakened, that should make things interesting."
Raya tightened her hands, halting the seconds, minutes, hours and days. The knowledge of this power possessed by only three people, Raya Kanen herself, Gary and his older brother, Lee.
Lee felt a tremor, "She is looking for the newest power," he muttered, and put his head back down to his homework, although his mind was elsewhere.
Gary felt a tremor, "An earthquake, here?" he muttered, and started thinking about what was cooler than controlling time again.
He could think of nothing cooler by the time he fell asleep and drifted into slumber and dreams, dreams of a heroic battle between himself, and two other figures that were unclear to him.
Lee fell asleep and dreamt of beautiful Bo’ness being torn asunder by himself, a hazed figure about his size, and another shaded figure, though quite a bit smaller.
The rest of Bo’ness slept normally, oblivious to the three warriors of time that would change their little town forever. For better or worse was still to be revealed. They dreamt of the normal stresses of normal life and Gary would later come to realize that normality was much better than his unusual gift.
End of Intro
so, I will post my story here as I write more and add to it, any and all feedback would be great.Before starting to read this, please bear in mind, this fits on two and a half pieces of A4 for as it stands so it might be a bit long to try and read.
And so, without further adu.
Warriors of Time
Intro: An Awakening
"Rain, again. My boot's stuck in mud, again. Really can't be bothered trying to get it unstuck, again. Fallen face first into the mud, again," Gary spluttered to himself, "I want something different! AGAIN!"
Climbing to his feet, eventually pulling his boot out of the squelching ground, Gary kept walking, his stomach turning at the noise his boots kept making.
Eventually Gary made it to the hill just up from Kinneil School.
"Gary! Back here!" said a voice behind him, which turned out to belong to his best friend, Ryan,
"Hiya Ryan," Gary mumbled in a bored voice as they began to descend the hill to the school,
"Still determined to find something different and new in good, old, boring Bo'ness?"
"Aye, it's definitely not the weather though," they both laughed, despite their obvious disgust for Scottish 'showers.'
Reaching the gates to the school, they ran down the path, into the school, through the corridors, hanging up their coats and entering the din that was the class of primary six.
People were bounding about the classroom, standing on tables, drawing on the chalkboard, getting a good exercise, and as usual Mrs. Jones was sitting in the corner, pulling her hair out and for all the world looking like an escaped mental patient, and she might as well have been, having the 'privilege' of teaching this class. Gary and Ryan sat down in their seats, the only ones actually waiting for class to start, getting out their books while everyone else began to tire and sit down in their own seats, while Mrs. Jones worked up her courage and walked to the front of the room and began to start the class,
"Alright, class," she said in that shriek of a voice she had, "Today we will be. . ." after that Gary just stopped listening.
Tapping his pencil on the desk, looking out, through the window, at a couple of birds and a few clouds, becoming completely oblivious of the questions on the board and the scribbling of every other pupil around him,
"Maybe you should start?" Ryan whispered beside him,
"Why bother? It's the same as yesterday," Gary replied in his 'not so quiet, giving the impression of being completely bored' way,
"How do you know if you haven't even looked at the board yet?" Ryan gave it away in an instant.
Gary looked up at the board.
Revision.
"This is gonna be a long day," Gary sighed.
After what seemed like years, the bell went for the end of school, and Gary charged up the path, leaving Ryan, literally, in a cloud of dust.
Gary picked up a few rocks and looked at the windows of the house he was walking by,
"Well, it'll be different," Gary muttered, lobbing a stone at and through the window and running away.
Gary lobbed the other stones at car windows on his way home, but, being lost in a complete daze of what he had done, and how boring it had gotten after only three smashes, he ended up somewhere he hadn't even realized existed in Bo'ness.
A huge patch of open ground, it looked to have held a building upon it at some point in time, but it had been torn down, and now it was just all-flat earth as far as the eye could see.
"Hey, you! Did you throw those stones?" someone shouted from behind him,
"Um... yeah," Gary said, just as he had turned to face the owner of the rough voice,
He was tall, wore jeans that were about four sizes too big, a shirt that had about five different types of stains, and looked altogether the worse for wear, the description of a casual psychopath,
"I'm sick of you hooligans," he roared, raising what appeared to be a double-barreled shotgun.
Gary raised his arms over his face, clenching his fists, waiting for the inevitable BANG of the shotgun shells, hurtling towards him and lifting him fully of his feet, knocking him into a tree behind him, thus killing him.
But it never came.
Gary lowered his arms, fists still clenched, to see the psychopath with his gun aimed at where he stood, or had stood, as Gary moved closer to the psychopath, he could see he wasn't moving, nothing was.
Gary looked up at the sky, birds had stopped moving too.
Gary noticed the raindrops now too, stretching out one hand, the other still clenched, he slapped away the water.
Gary's hands were starting to hurt him, so he stretched his fingers out as far as they would go, and was startled by an ear splitting BANG, accompanied by the splintering of wood.
Everything had started moving again, and the psychopath had reloaded and aimed at him again.
Going on a theory, Gary raised his hands, turned both his arms to shield his entire head and neck, and clenched his fists again.
Again the BANG was delayed.
Keeping his fists tight, he opened his arms.
Time had stopped again.
He could stop time.
Gary ran as quickly as he could, but not before kicking the psycho so hard in the head that when he woke up, he wouldn't remember a thing, which turned out to be an unusual stroke of luck, because, when the psychopath did come to, he woke up with a shotgun in his hand, and four empty shotgun shells.
The psychopath quickly admitted himself into a mental institution.
A bizarre stroke of luck indeed.
Gary burst through the door, rushing upstairs, shouting, "Can't talk, lots of homework to do," and crashing through the door of his bedroom, locking it behind him, and started thinking up what things were cooler than being able to control time.
He couldn't think of any.
On a distant hill, Raya Kanen awoke to a tremor underneath her,
"A new power has awakened, that should make things interesting."
Raya tightened her hands, halting the seconds, minutes, hours and days. The knowledge of this power possessed by only three people, Raya Kanen herself, Gary and his older brother, Lee.
Lee felt a tremor, "She is looking for the newest power," he muttered, and put his head back down to his homework, although his mind was elsewhere.
Gary felt a tremor, "An earthquake, here?" he muttered, and started thinking about what was cooler than controlling time again.
He could think of nothing cooler by the time he fell asleep and drifted into slumber and dreams, dreams of a heroic battle between himself, and two other figures that were unclear to him.
Lee fell asleep and dreamt of beautiful Bo’ness being torn asunder by himself, a hazed figure about his size, and another shaded figure, though quite a bit smaller.
The rest of Bo’ness slept normally, oblivious to the three warriors of time that would change their little town forever. For better or worse was still to be revealed. They dreamt of the normal stresses of normal life and Gary would later come to realize that normality was much better than his unusual gift.
End of Intro