What the f*ck?

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Miros

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I was quickly reminded today why I left the game! I'm sure everyone knows this, but some people really need to tone down the way they treat this game.

I was in Beadux (sp) with two of my friends (one happened to be my best friend on game) and we were hunting things that were ridiculously easy. It was farming I think for DRK af3 or something like that. My attention had been occupied by some MSN messages I had been receiving. Things were getting heated cause of a roleplay thing I do there from time to time and I really couldn't focus my attention of both areas.

Since FFXI was going easy I figured I wasn't needed and I didn't want to keep hearing "You coming" when I would stop and type on MSN. So I say I have to run and log off!

I log in today after working to get a message from my supposed best friend and I quote "that is pretty fucking shitty ass munch.. so all i have ot say to you is fuck off"

Frankly, that sucks. I've read other threads about best friends turning their backs on eachother online and stuff, but I guess I really never thought it could happen to me! I'm now on his /blist and I personally feel that his whole decision is bullshit.

bull01.jpg


I may have been quick to log, but sometimes other things take over FFXI. Thanks for reading my rant! I'd post names but I still do respect and love that person. blerg!
 
Miros said:
I've read other threads about best friends turning their backs on eachother online and stuff, but I guess I really never thought it could happen to me!
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He prolly thought the same thing. I mean, it sounds like you ditched him. I'd give him a few days to get over it, but really, you did make it pretty clear he wasn't too important, and turned your back on him to deal with other stuff.

Not saying it isn't a harsh response, but I can easily see why you got it. But hey, at least you still got your MSN buddy.
 
Bigboy said:
He prolly thought the same thing. I mean, it sounds like you ditched him. I'd give him a few days to get over it, but really, you did make it pretty clear he wasn't too important, and turned your back on him to deal with other stuff.

Not saying it isn't a harsh response, but I can easily see why you got it. But hey, at least you still got your MSN buddy.
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Agreed. Either play and be there, or don't.
Tell your MSN buddies to hold the hell on, you're busy.

this "other things before XI" is bullshit.. if you are doing something with someone in XI, that comes first. You blew him/her off. Thats not cool
 
Bigboy said:
He prolly thought the same thing. I mean, it sounds like you ditched him. I'd give him a few days to get over it, but really, you did make it pretty clear he wasn't too important, and turned your back on him to deal with other stuff.

Not saying it isn't a harsh response, but I can easily see why you got it. But hey, at least you still got your MSN buddy.
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I had mentioned drama was ensuing there at first when we went. And I wasn't responding as quickly as I should have. He asked if everything was okay, I said I guess. Few minutes later that's when I needed to go. Hard to explain but this wasn't something I could just blow over.

Feelings suck, the intarnet iz sserious buzness:(

p.s. New Bullshit season this april. ;)
 
Shaidalyn said:
Agreed. Either play and be there, or don't.
Tell your MSN buddies to hold the hell on, you're busy.

this "other things before XI" is bullshit.. if you are doing something with someone in XI, that comes first. You blew him/her off. Thats not cool
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I was already working on MSN prior to FFXI. I just logged on to give him his money. I'm totally going to get pwned on this thread. XD I suck. lmao
 
Miros said:
I had mentioned drama was ensuing there at first when we went. And I wasn't responding as quickly as I should have. He asked if everything was okay, I said I guess. Few minutes later that's when I needed to go. Hard to explain but this wasn't something I could just blow over.

Feelings suck, the intarnet iz sserious buzness:(

p.s. New Bullshit season this april. ;)
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Just for the record, I do agree with you that he is a little too upset over this. I just also see how he could get upset over you dropping one online experience for another. If it were someone trying to talk to you in your house/room/whatever, it would be a little more justifiable. But it sounds like a couple of 15 year old girls crying for your attention so far.
 
Bigboy said:
Just for the record, I do agree with you that he is a little too upset over this. I just also see how he could get upset over you dropping one online experience for another. If it were someone trying to talk to you in your house/room/whatever, it would be a little more justifiable. But it sounds like a couple of 15 year old girls crying for your attention so far.
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I'll be honest and just say I'm an emo whore. =P I don't like when good friends look down on me like this. I'm not really looking to flame them, since I do believe it is half my fault as well, don't get me wrong I won't shift all the blame to him. Just hurt and emoish right now.

Sorry guys, this flame sucks. I fail at this crap. XD
 
People are, by design, attention whores. Some are more so than others, but deep down we all want attention. It's like you are talking to someone in real life and their cell rings, what do they say? Yup, "Hold on a sec.", and answer the phone. What did they do that very moment? They told you, to your face, that you are less important than whoever could possibly be calling them. Not cool. Instead they could say "Hey, let me see who is calling in case it is an emergency." Pick up and unless it is an emergency tell the caller that they will call them back later, and continue their conversation with you instead of talking for 15 minutes about some bullshit with the caller while you are waiting in line to get your turn.

Similarly in game. Friends or not, the message you sent was "Dude, you are not important to me.". Again, not cool. There is nothing wrong with being preoccupied or whatever. Any friend will understand if you say "Dude, here's the cash, but I am sorry, I am busy with other stuff, I can't play atm, will catch up later". No one would have been upset.

Tagging along and not devoting your full attention to the task at hand is what upsets people more than not showing up in the first place.

Hopefully that's a lesson learned. I'd get in touch with your friend and say something along the lines of "Dude, the other day, I screwed up. I was doing a bunch of stuff at once, and didn't realize that I was blowing you off till it was too late. I am sorry.", and you will be forgiven and all will be good.

Edit: Of course this only works if you are actually sincerely sorry.
 
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Sculli said:
People are, by design, attention whores. Some are more so than others, but deep down we all want attention. It's like you are talking to someone in real life and their cell rings, what do they say? Yup, "Hold on a sec.", and answer the phone. What did they do that very moment? They told you, to your face, that you are less important than whoever could possibly be calling them. Not cool. Instead they could say "Hey, let me see who is calling in case it is an emergency." Pick up and unless it is an emergency tell the caller that they will call them back later, and continue their conversation with you instead of talking for 15 minutes about some bullshit with the caller while you are waiting in line to get your turn.

Similarly in game. Friends or not, the message you sent was "Dude, you are not important to me.". Again, not cool. There is nothing wrong with being preoccupied or whatever. Any friend will understand if you say "Dude, here's the cash, but I am sorry, I am busy with other stuff, I can't play atm, will catch up later". No one would have been upset.

Tagging along and not devoting your full attention to the task at hand is what upsets people more than not showing up in the first place.

Hopefully that's a lesson learned. I'd get in touch with your friend and say something along the lines of "Dude, the other day, I screwed up. I was doing a bunch of stuff at once, and didn't realize that I was blowing you off till it was too late. I am sorry.", and you will be forgiven and all will be good.

Edit: Of course this only works if you are actually sincerely sorry.
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Yeah that was basically the message I wanted to send in my post. What's worse someone who just flatout ignores you or someone who gives you the "uh huh" "yep" "how does that make you feel" deal.
 
Hey Miros! Good to see you back around again. Sorry to hear you're already seeing some of the same 'ol sh*t.

I think the thing your friend is missing is that... yes... believe it or not...sometimes things do come up that require your immediate and full attention outside the world of FFXI. I think at some point all of us have experienced the aggravation of having people up and take off with little or no notice, but I think the key here is that he didn't know why you left. You could have had to leave for any reason suddenly and I can understand your being upset at a message like that from someone calling themselves a friend.

I do hear what everyone else is saying, too. It does suck to have people with you in an event/exp disappear on a moment's notice. And I can see your friend's being pissed off about it depending on the circumstances (was the event taking place crushed by your leaving, could they have gotten along without you, etc.). However, I think a real friend might have expressed concern at first instead of instant hostility. If it were my friend, my initial reaction would have been to be worried that something was wrong. Then maybe been ticked at them if they told me it was something trivial that made them ditch me, because let's be honest...having someone leave you hanging doesn't feel really great.

I think Sculli's right. If this friendship is important to you, and it sounds like it is, I'd maybe extend the olive branch and just tell them it was a bad day/bad time. And in the future if you've got to go or you think you'll have to go, maybe send a tell to your friend to say that yeah, you can help for a bit, but you may have to leave if things get hectic. That way they're not counting on you like you signed a contract in blood and then if you get distracted or can't keep up you can simply say... Sorry, I need to run, but I'll catch up with you later.

Too easy to get caught up in drama in this game sometimes. It's all about perspective. What a difference a day...or even a few hours...can make. Take care. Hope to see ya in game again sometime.
 
People take FFXI to serious for stupider reasons than that of what happened to the OP.

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who cries everytime I'm not glued to a video game.
 
Shaidalyn said:
Agreed. Either play and be there, or don't.
Tell your MSN buddies to hold the hell on, you're busy.

this "other things before XI" is bullshit.. if you are doing something with someone in XI, that comes first. You blew him/her off. Thats not cool
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STfU people have RL friends and relationships that are more important then anyone/anything on a video game.
 
Miros said:
I was already working on MSN prior to FFXI. I just logged on to give him his money. I'm totally going to get pwned on this thread. XD I suck. lmao
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Then you explain to him you are currently busy, from what you said it seemed like pre-determined plans.

Rhyan... thread stalk much? gtfo.

real life > ffxi
true

plans > spur of the moment
true

word > person
true

if I promise to be there for something for someone at sometime.. nothing short of a freaking death is gonna pull me away.
Yeah, its OMG ONLINE LOLZ
yeah.. but it's still your word.

fact is he was already on MSN, the guy feels ditched.. meh.. shoulda told him straight up you were busy.. the fact you had to go was valid.. he'll get over it.
 
Shaidalyn said:
Then you explain to him you are currently busy, from what you said it seemed like pre-determined plans.

Rhyan... thread stalk much? gtfo.

real life > ffxi
true

plans > spur of the moment
true

word > person
true

if I promise to be there for something for someone at sometime.. nothing short of a freaking death is gonna pull me away.
Yeah, its OMG ONLINE LOLZ
yeah.. but it's still your word.

fact is he was already on MSN, the guy feels ditched.. meh.. shoulda told him straight up you were busy.. the fact you had to go was valid.. he'll get over it.
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Dead topic already. There is more to the story then that but it doesn't need to be said here, it was a spur of the moment thing me and him went and did and I didn't think I would end up so busy.
 
Miros said:
Dead topic already. There is more to the story then that but it doesn't need to be said here, it was a spur of the moment thing me and him went and did and I didn't think I would end up so busy.
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It's cool dude. Has this problem been resolved, or are you still in the sticks over this?
 
Well if things were under control without you then I dont see any reason why it should have mattered. Sounds like a god damn baby if you ask me.
 
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