Why is everyone out to get me???

R

Ruck

Chocobo Licensed
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Jan 15, 2005
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121
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VA Beach VA
All right I have been married to my wife for 3 of the 4 years of military service that I have done. For 3 years we have been happily married with no signs of any problems. Then out of no where she decides she wants to be single and that I cant see my son anymore. Unfortunantly my time in the military is drawing to a close right now so even though she doesnt want to be with me anymore I cant move out because I dont have enough time left in the area to sign a new lease on a place. I was supposed to start seperating from the military today but they decided at the last minute that I need to stay until around December. What the hell?? Still not enough time to find a new place because every place here wants a 12 month lease with the option to go month to month afterwards. So I have to live in a house with a woman that doesnt want me any more who keeps bringing in random guys and having sex with them in my living room while I watch my son in the bedroom. She refuses to pay any bills because she doesnt want me here and since I have no place else to go she knows she has me by the short hairs. The Navy wont just honor their part of my contract and let me out now and all this is driving me frigging nuts. I dont want to pay the bills so that my wife can not work and just sleep around.... but I cant put my son out with no place to stay. I dont want to be in the Navy anymore but I have no choice. Why is everything and everyone playing games with my damn head?????

Sorry for no paragraphs..... just trying to let everything out and didnt have time for proper grammer.
 
Damn, Ruck. ><
I'd say some women are just fuct, but the fact is that some people are fuct. Still, I've never known a guy to take measures like this that pretty much come right out and say, "I'm doing this to get under your skin, and I hope you crack, motherfucker."

Sam Kineson once said, "I know what turns Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist", in regards to similar provocations from the wife.

People need to just stop their fucking games. They know what they are doing, and it's that fact that makes it twice as bad. Plus you guys have a child to think about. One of my co-workers deals with this shit on an almost constant basis. Everything his ex-wife has done has literally been at the legal limits of what she was allowed, or the theoretical limits in regards to how far she can push him. It's bullshit. Just because it's over, doesn't mean it's time to be really super cool and make the guy's life a living Hell. Go on with your own life, fuckers! ...Or don't you have one?
Pathetic.

I feel awful for you, Ruck.


I couldn't blame anyone for snapping in this situation. God only knows what I would do if put in this spot. It would be only a matter of time before I stopped reasoning and playing within the guidelines the legal system calls "fair". God forbid it would come to that, but for me, it would just be a matter of time before that breaking point was reached. Enough deliberate provocation, and I'm literally out for fucking blood.
 
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

First off, I'm am not in any way qualified to judge your situation.... but holy shit!!!

Shes doing other guys while you watch the child you have together? and she doesnt work or pay bills? My friend you are being ridden like .25 piss smelling 1/2 broken circa 1970's sitting outside of a Kmart Marry-go-round.

I think you need to take command of the situation a little more my friend.
When shes doing her business in the other room (shouldnt the child be in the living room and this tramp be in the bedroom?) walk in! Announce yourself as the father of her child and her husband. That should take care of that.
If you two are still married, you have every right to be there as she does. The things shes doing while still in wedlock is disgusting :evil: :evil:
And shes using the fact that you love your child and put him first against you. If anything, think of the boy. Do you want him to see this shit? to get the idea that this is how mothers and fathers live? Nip it in the bud man,
nip it in the bud.
Also, document everything. Times, places, names, take pictures etc. etc. so when the inevitable court date arrives for divorce, you can show the court how much of an unfit mother she is and turn her world upside down.
If you play it smart, you can take this bitch down and come out a hero.

Hang in there, keep a clear head, and do whatever it takes to provide your son with a normal life.
 
Trying my best to keep my shit together. I have made it very clear that I am here...... she doesnt just come in and screw them. They will sit on the couch right beside me and make out until I have to leave. I of course dont want my son seeing it and thats why I take him with me. I do have an anger problem that I have been getting therapy for and she knows what it does to me to see this. Luckily I have just had a big break through right before this started so I am alot more mellow than I was. God help the guy if I wasnt.

I just have to ride it out until the military quits dicking me around then me and him are out. She doesnt know it yet but my lawyer has a running list of things that have happened. So far 2 Guys 5 nights of her not coming back from places like Wal Mart or the mall until 6 am. 3 nights of coming in at 3 am so drunk that she pukes through the house. Just good times all around for me. I just hate this shit and dont really have any other way to vent than on a chat room board.
 
Damn military marriages :(

I dont really know what to put into the situation, but your definatly taking the right step by getting a lawyer and taking account for all of her behavior. Bitches like that are universal, always trying to take advantage of a soldier. You think thats rough, you should see some of these German wives over here :x . Props to you for keeping your cool in that situation.. I personally, would kick every motherfuckers ass that tries to bring himself into my house, but your doing the right thing. I know I can't do much for your situation or say much to help, but I do feel your pain bro, and wish the best of luck to you with that situation.

Shoulda joined the Army, hooah?
lol 8)
 
The good news?

She has practiced infidelity. That means that she is at fault for the divorce, and she doesn't get almony(in most states) Also, the odds are great that you could get full custody over your boy.

I'm in a similar situation, without the infidelity, and Navy factors. I've decided to allow my wife time to get a job, and a car before getting my own place. She is a much better mother, than I am a father, so I'll just shoot for weekends with my daughter. Although I'm sure I will be able to visit any time I want, and will do so quite often.

What would I do in your case? Go live in your apartment, with you kid, less one unfaithful wife. I could be wrong, but I believe you have ground to stand on if you choose to kick her to the curb. If not legally certaintly morally.

I wish you luck in w/e you decide, and if you need more specific advice feel free to pm me. I'm no expert, but have done my fair share of homework on the subject over the past year.
 
Ruck, it sounds like you are doing the right thing, or all that you can for the time. Keep it up, man. :)

I know in the grand scheme it may not mean much, but from our limited experiences together, you are good people. A stand up guy. A friend.
Don't feel at all bad that this is where you have to express yourself. I think it's great that you can express yourself here. It's theraputic to put your thoughts down like that, and get some feedback as well.

Sounds like it's mostly a matter of time, and you'll have enough dirt on your woman to have a real solid case. It's good that you are keeping quiet about it.
 
hey Ruck

i'm only 18 so i dunno nything about this stuff.

although i dont know you and this might just go over your head as an unimportant comment, i just want to say that i hope you hang in there. you should be proud of yourself man, for someone who hadta go to anger management sessions to be able to handle this. It shows real growth and change in character. I'm rooting for you as i think others on this forum are and I hope everything goes well. :)
 
Naturally you'll want to do the following for retaliation at a more stable point in your life:

Keep a written log of finances as well as encounters she's had and or emotional boundaries she's broken with you and/or your child.
Keep all your receipts from this time in your life, as she's still liable for half of them in most states.
Find a competent attorney.

Just some things that should make your life a bit easier and better in the long run, elsewise all's i can offer are my condolensces. If i were in yer shoes i'dve gone postal and copped to no contest by way of being bonkers by now. You're a better man than i. Keep your head up ^^
 
As of now, you my friend are in my prayers...i cant imagine wht you may be going thru but i can defenetely relate.

As said above, keep doing wht you're doing and know that the Unjust will always pay, and the Just will always be rewarded.

We're here man...need to vent some more....we're here :)
 
Military relationships

I hate to say this but those that venture into relationships in our armed forces seem to suffer problems like this regularly. I work with alot of ex-military and I've heard plenty of stories.... one was of a navy man at sea whos wife sent him a video of her getting railed by another guy.

The kind of behavior your wife is displaying is reprehensible. I feel for you man, just hearing you describe it makes me feel sad and angry for you. The advice about kicking her out..... if you are footing the bill, why not? Keep your child and get her away from him, keep detailed notes for the upcoming divorce. Also, checking accounts, is it a joint account or in your name? Credit cards the same thing, if you are earning the bread seize control of the situation as soon as possible. She can fuck up your life financially very quickly.

You can't physically do anything but you can take away her meal ticket. Also, noone can come into your house that you don't want in there. If she brings another asshole home, tell him to get the fuck out, you will not be subjecting yourself or your child to adultry. Make your presence known, but don't get violent or nasty(I know it's hard). Be firm and reasonable, don't let anger control you. If necessary call the police to have them removed. That is a 2 fold deal, you will have a report on record then of your wifes adultry for the divorce. Do not try to work things out with this woman, it will benefit noone. And don't drop to her level and cheat on her, it will only cause more problems.

I've heard of situations like this where it has led to men killing themselves(fyi, adult males have a MUCH higher suicide rate than any other group of people) cause of there wife/girlfriends head games. Don't let it get you down man, life will go on, plenty of nice women out there. Just make sure you get your child away from that woman, is all I have to say.

I'm not a praying man, but I wish you luck man. This is a horrible situation.
 
I just got back from spending a year in afganistan. Alot of our soldiers went through hard times with their spouses and a good friend of mine's wife started 2nd guessing things when he left and got back. People in this day and age dont seem to understand what a relationship is exactly.
 
Drakk said:
People in this day and age dont seem to understand what a relationship is exactly.
Click to expand...

A-fucking-men. ne'er a more truthful word have these eyes read.
 
Darkdante said:
Marriage is so-overrated. :?

I feel for you, she sounds like the devil.
Click to expand...


It's not overrated. It's just not for everyone. In this case, it sounds like Ruck is a family man. His wife sounds like she wasn't ready at all, and also has a number of issues beyond that.

When you are old and gray, and have nobody and no (legitimate) family to call your own, you can evaluate marriage once again.

It's interesting how our opinions change with each year. When I was 10, 20, 30...What was I thinking of? What drove me? What was important to me?

Can marriage suck at times? Hell yeah. It's a limitation in some ways, of course...It's that limitation that you gladly accept with faith, promising to give your best effort, a sacrifice to create a life long bond and a chance to create something that doesn't happen overnight. Marriage is something that isn't gift wrapped. Nobody has an exact answer for how it will work out with certain "ingredients". Both people need to want the same things though. It takes two to tango.
 
I really feel for you man- noone should be put through that kind of BS for any reason.

She's intentionally trying to get under your skin, for whatever fucked up reason she has in her head. No matter what, you can't let her get to you. HOWEVER . . . having said that, you absolutely cannot allow her to fuck around in the presence of your son. Forget about how she's making you feel altogether, and think about how all this shit is affecting the child you two share. Your son looks to her just as much as you as a role model for proper behavior. Even at 2 or 3 years old (which I'm assuming is about the age he is, based on your post) your wife's actions can screw him up for years.

I'm assuming both your names are on the lease/mortgage for the home you're currently residing in, since you're paying the bills and can't just kick her ass to the curb. You have to stand up for your son. Tell that skanky ho that she can't bring her "boyfriends" into anywhere they may have contact with your son. If she blows you off and brings some guy home anyway, take your son into the bedroom and immediately call the cops. Tell them your wife brought home some strange dude and you want him removed because you fear for the well-being of your child. At the very least they'll send someone by to investigate a "domestic disturbance" and that should chase off any guy she brings home.

Your son is probably very hurt by what's going on between you and your wife. Push all that anger and resentment aside, and be the dad that he needs- now more than ever. Cause he sure as hell isn't getting the mom that he needs right now.

Also- and this is improtant- if you have a credit card in both your names, remove yorself from any responsibility on that card. Get a card in your name only. I guarantee that when she can't bring her fuck-buddies home she'll spend more time at hotels, which she'll want you to pay for. Don't let her.
 
Sneakypants said:
Darkdante said:
Marriage is so-overrated. :?

I feel for you, she sounds like the devil.
Click to expand...


Can marriage suck at times? Hell yeah. It's a limitation in some ways, of course...It's that limitation that you gladly accept with faith, promising to give your best effort, a sacrifice to create a life long bond and a chance to create something that doesn't happen overnight. Marriage is something that isn't gift wrapped. Nobody has an exact answer for how it will work out with certain "ingredients". Both people need to want the same things though. It takes two to tango.
Click to expand...

That was pure poetry Sneaky. I don't think I've ever seen it wrote out that well. /clap /clap /clap
 
Geez Ruck... I don't know what to say. Just sorry that's happening...

Your story really breaks my heart. :cry:
 
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