worstnight of my life :'(

C

ceas

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ok, so for about 3 weeks now I have been "dating" this girl, i really really like her, she is super beautiful, and really cool to hang around, and for a guy like me who is not excatly "tall dark and handsom", so girls like this don't tend to talk to me, well... ever, unless maybe they have had a few too many, but any way we have gone out on like 5 or 6, what i considered "dates" and this evening, we went put puting, which nither of us have done for awhile, so after she creamed me by like 20 shots we left and started going up and down woodward (a big main street by my house) and they have the woodward dream cruise going on right about now where a bunch of classic cars all gather togeather, its pretty sweet, any way, we were jsut driving hanging out haveing fun, then i said some dumb joke that jsut got her to laugh by making an idiot of my self, and after she got done laughing she say the most chrushing sentence i have ever heard: "I like u alot, you remind alot of my boy firend"............
i died a littel inside right at that moment, i drive a manual car and when she said that the light turned green so i tried to laugh it off with her like it was no big deal but i stalled out and almost got creamed by this big ass truck that tried to time the light...... lets just say it was an akward ride back home, i tried to keep the mood the same jsut so things didn't you know get weird. So when we got to her house she asked me if i was working wednesday, i said nope and she replied well we should hang out again it was really fun and then she just sorta, left with out a good bye or nothing, maybe i just read the signs wrong or maybe i am jsut the bggest fool in the world to think a girl like her could ever have feelings for me. either way i felt like playing hot potato with a hand grenade by my self all night and i needed a place to vent, it helps to get feelings out in writing. I dont know if im going to go hang out with her wednesday, I really like her even if we can only be friends but I..... I dont know, what do u think i should do?
 
ah stick it out, be her friend still you never know what the future may hold for you, roll with the punches. :wink:
 
You aren't a fool and you didn't misread anything. She probably does like you, but not enought to leave her current boyfriend. It just took her 5-6 dates to figure out whether her feelings for you were friendly or romantic. You didn't do anything wrong, the chemistry just wasn't there for her.

You may want to find out if her boyfriend knew she was hanging out with you. If he didn't, that would say alot about her. She may have no idea how much she hurt you by stringing you along because she is unable or unwilling to consider your feelings.

Maybe i'm wrong. This is just a gut feeling based upon the story as you told it. The only way you will know for sure is to give her a chance and risk letting her hurt you again.
 
Man, don't necessarily take that as a bad sign. Yes, she has a boyfriend. BUT, she's spending time with you when she could be spending time with him. That means she enjoys being with you.

If I was in your shoes, I would do a little bit of research on the matter. First, find out who her boyfriend is. Next, find some of his flaws. Finally, make sure you don't copy his flaws. Subtly prove to the girl that you're better than her boyfriend, and she might just leave him for you. But keep your intentions to yourself. Don't let ANYONE know that you want her for yourself, or she might find out and get really upset.
 
Man, don't necessarily take that as a bad sign. Yes, she has a boyfriend. BUT, she's spending time with you when she could be spending time with him. That means she enjoys being with you.

If I was in your shoes, I would do a little bit of research on the matter. First, find out who her boyfriend is. Next, find some of his flaws. Finally, make sure you don't copy his flaws. Subtly prove to the girl that you're better than her boyfriend, and she might just leave him for you. But keep your intentions to yourself. Don't let ANYONE know that you want her for yourself, or she might find out and get really upset.
 
situations are kind of iffy to me. to me it seems like she doing oneof 2 things.

1. feeling out her BF if he's the jealous type

2. trying to shock him into action

no offence ladies but u can be pretty weirds at times. but in her defence she hasnt "cheated" on him (at least as far as we know). and i think she's just enjoying some time with a new friend, you. so my advice is to be just that, her friend. let events take their course. IMO a good friend is one of lifes most precious gifts.
 
Yea, you gotta do some more research about what her current boyfriend is like. If you find that he's a pretty hansom looking guy (not in a gay way, but you can sometimes just tell if a guy is "attractive") that treats her well, then you might want to wonder more about this girl. Because if she'll hang-out with a guy like yourself, and give all the signs that she's going on dates with you WHILE she's w/ a hansom boyfriend, then will she be doing the same with other guys while she is dating you?

But if you find out that her boyfriend is just attractive, however acts like a loser, and doesn't treat her the way you think she really wants to be treated, then I'd go for it!
 
In regards to her saying you remind her of her boyfriend...that can be good or bad.

It would be good if she was sincere about it, and you shared common traits with someone she found sExy.

However she could have decided that she didn't have any interest in you, and played the boyfriend card. The fact that she didn't tell you she was hooked up untill the end of the date, which kind of supports that. I know most people go around looking for the B.B.D. (Bigger Better Deal), and she might have been just seeing if you where it.

In my experience, most girls that are madly in love with their boyfriend, do not go out with other guys. Even if they call it "hanging out", and not dating.

I think she either does not have a boyfriend, and was using that as an excuse not to get romanticaly involved, or that she does a boyfriend, and is totally open to being won over my a next stud that comes along.

Most women understand the fact that 90% of men have no interest in befriending them, they either want a quick "date", or a relationship. Typically the former of the two.
 
Most women are always looking for something better than what they already have. If you want her you have to be better than the current boyfriend. Go find someone else or get ready for her to look for your 1up in the future.
 
Sounds like you think you've got a home run when you haven't even gotten to first base yet.

Its a mistake all guys make. Don't let your mind get so far ahead of the relationship. If you do that you may be acting like your married before you acutally are and be left out in the cold.

Slow down, fastest way to end any relationship is either to overreact or have something go on in your mind that isn't going on in reality YET.

You probably just need to let her catch up to you.

P.S. As far as her having a boyfriend. Just be carefull, She's out with you and asked you out again didn't she? That saying something right there. :D
 
Strid said:
Most women are always looking for something better than what they already have. If you want her you have to be better than the current boyfriend. Go find someone else or get ready for her to look for your 1up in the future.
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Thats pretty shitty advice strid :? Godforbid people might actually learn to acquire a taste so to speak of a friend before going further with them. Putting pressure on him to be better than her BF is nonsense, be yourself because she obviously likes hanging out with you. Thats what you have going for you, dont get jealous and weird over it, just be her friend. Maybe it will work out for you maybe it wont.. but at least youve got another friend out there. There is no reason to burn bridges over childish antics such as jealousy when you dont know the whole story. Stick it out, be the friend she knew you as and go from there, dont defeat yourself before youve even started the war :D
 
Darkdante said:
Actually......

If you do want to take her away from her current boyfriend you have to be better.

Its only natural.
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Nope. Many women consistently date men that are bad for them and will complain to their male "just friends" that she wishes her boyfriend was more like them. The best thing you can do is be yourself and not be her emotional tampon.
 
But don't fool yourself and be her outlet for all the shitty things her boyfriend won't do with/for her. Alot of women have guy friends that they "use" as emotional support and for all the things there jerk boyfriends fail at. Then, they go home with the creep and he get's the benefits of your "good friend" status emotionally and the lovin from there dick head boyfriend. So in essence, they can use guys for emotional support as much as men can use women just for sex. I'm not saying this is true in your case, but if all your doing is providing that outlet you will never get the girl(believe me, I know).

My best advice, no game playing, don't fool yourself or get your hopes up by trying to be a friend just to develop a close relationship so you can attempt to make it into something more. Shit or get off the pot, be a friend with no interest in anything but having fun and hanging out or tell her you have no interest in being just her friend.

Either that, or get her good and drunk then start hitting on her, lol
 
you know one cool thing about women? they get to have plutonic friends. He's my pal, he's my bud, my plutonic friend, i love him like a brother, he's my buuuud my plutonic friiieeennndddd. Men don't have plutonic friends. we just have women we haven't fucked yet. As soon as i figure this out, i'm in there! I mean we got some plutonic friends, yea we got some, but they all by accident. every plutonic friend i've got is some woman i was tryin to fuck, i made a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the friend zone. *oo noez!! i'm in the friend zone!! oo noez!!* Women keep plutonic friends forever. why? cause you never know. that's right, they get rid of girl friends every 6 months. "What happen to pam?" "She think she cute." but they keep their plutonic friends forever. why? cause ya never know. "What happen to carrel?" "I can't hang with her" but they keep their plutonic friends forever. why? Cause ya never...know. You know what a plutonic friend is to a woman? It's like a dick in a glass case. In case of emergancy, break open glass. And fella's if your woman's got plutonic friends, that's who she'll be fuckin when you mess up. One of them guys you ain't even thinkin about boy. "I can't believe this happened, i'm so glad your here *crying* *hand moving towards crotch*" That's right, it's gonna happen to you!! You know the next man to fuck your woman. You've met him, he's ate your food he's drank your wine! and he shall betray you. - Chris Rock
 
that's so very sick, Ithenas... though I do know it's true for some people >.> anyways.. there are a lot of things this could mean.. Could mean that she was trying to see your reaction if she said she had a boyfriend to get an idea of how you feel for her.. or could be all the other reasons that were said above.. just.. stay calm I guess.. don't jump to any assumptions.
 
Looks like asking for advice from these people just give you more crap to think of.

~See if BF is jealous type
~Your reaction
~Doesn't want you
~Might be looking for new BF
~ "Dick in a glass jar"
~Really just wants a friend
~"Emotional Outlet"
~State your emotions
~Keep them to yourself but be observant

I took the liberty of summing of the post for you so far

You're not the only one in a situation similar to this, personally speaking, so don't feel bad there.

Life is so confusing from the teens to the mid 20s isn't it?
 
Well as a Christian i should tell you that you shoulndn't intentionally attempt to break them and get with her. As a man though...

I say this, like was mentioned before, if she is hanging out with you then she's obviously interested in some way, shape, or form. The fact that she didn't mention the boyfriend before now is a GOOD sign! so check this out..

What you wanna do is this... just keep seeing her and having fun like normal. If a girl notices that everytime she's around you she has a great time then youre in like Flynn!

DO NOT ask about the boyfriend, in fact, only talk about him when She brings him up. It's easier for her to keep her mind on you if you're not talking about him. Also always look at her eye to eye, just trust me when i say this is where the fire will burn from. It's easier to think of you as a friend if you're always laughing together and looking at the ground. If you're looking her dead in the eyes when you talk to her, she can't help but feel the attraction. The eyes speak a hundred times more than the mouth. (whoops, Enter is your friend >.<)


I strongly reccomend against any boyfriend bashing or attempting to prove yourself better than him. If she naturally enjoys hanging out with you more, then that's all that matters. Looks have little to do with this, just keep yourself at bat and stick with it. Good luck man :wink:
 
I think that Scrumpy has put it the best out of all the others. If she wants to be with you, thats her decision. She's a person, not some trophy or prize you're competing with her current boyfriend to win. Just keep being her friend and if she wants to be more than that with you, then she will.

And besides, breaking a couple just because you like her is just being selfish and an asshole thing to do. And I doubt she'd like it very much if she realizes that the only reason she's with you is because you manipulated her. If that happens you've lost her twice, both as a girlfriend and as a friend.
 
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