YOU THINK IT'S OK TO HURT PPL BECAUSE "IT'S JUST A GAME

Status
Not open for further replies.
When your body is hurting, people send flowers. When your mind is hurting, people throw rocks.

Okay..I'll grant anyone that of all the sciences, psychology is right up there on the continuum teetering dangerously close to being a "pseudo-science." Experiements involving human beings need to be constructed using strict ethical guidelines, creating a lack of true scientific integrity when testing hypotheses. I have much more faith in neuroscience and theory's that have been proven over time through repeated and varied experimental methods than anecdotal evidence. Most, if not all, of the information I'm about to share is from the latter.

That said, in any science, you have the more far out thoughts, ideas, and quacks. Anyone who says that someone GIVES themselves bipolar disorder should lose their license. I don't know enough, obviously, about the situation that someone spoke of in an earlier post, but I can tell you that under no circumstances should someone state such a thing to the family of someone receiving treatment for mental illness.

The symptoms of mental illness occur for multiple reasons. Biological or chemical causes (now twisted into the pop term "chemical imbalance"), or what are known as adjustment disorders.

The first, the biological causes, are caused by the same reasons some people get asthma, diabetes, or arthritis. It's a biological change brought about by environment, heredity, or a combination of the two. For example, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) can be caused by repeated exposure to domestic violence over a lengthy period of time during one's childhood. There's a Harvard research study (I'd look it up to site it, and will if necessary) that found that children exposed to chronic and intense violence in the home between the ages of birth to 5 actually had altered brain chemistry. In this case, it's actually the environment that worked to alter biology, creating said condition.

The other scenario involves simply the biological composition of the brain. Brain scans have revealed that there are differences in the way people with mental illness function, the amounts of certain neurotransmitters (excesses or deficiencies), the size and activity levels in certain lobes, etc. Occasionally these disorders are hereditary.proven through in depth family histories and twin studies. Other times? Who knows...it's similar to any birth defect or disability one may develop or be born with. The onset of symptoms varies with age and the specific illness, so it IS possible for someone who seems "normal" to develop symptoms at any point in time.

The third scenario involving biological reasons, is a combination of the two. Someone may be biologicall predisposed to developing schizophrenia. They experience a very traumatic life event and BAM - onset of symptoms. It may be true that they would have developed the disorder regardless, however think in terms of other illnesses, such as asthma. You may be predisposed to developing the condition, however because of a healthy lifestyle and limited exposure to environmental pollutants, you never develop the disease. On the other hand, if you grow up in a house full of 30 chain-smokers the same person, being susceptable, may develop the disease.

Adjustment disorders are cause by traumatic life events. These are things that are typically categorized as "non-normative" life events. There is a typical life cycle, or pattern, most of us accept as normal. You're parents die before you, you die before your parents, you have children after you're married, etc. When something happens outside that frame of reference, it can be near debilitating without the right support system and coping mechanisms.

Cubs, your ex-friend sounds like they fit in the toughest, most difficult to treat category, the category of people that are almost impossible to treat. Assuming therapy is effective, the group that suffer from "personality disorders" have a 99% recidivism rate. There is a lot of new, and I think exciting, research that points to the idea that more of our personality are inborn than previously thought. This makes these disorders particularly difficult to treat. Cubs experience scream "borderline personality disorder." Superficial attempts to suicide, constant calls for help, a seeming unwillingness to break out of self-destructive behavior...this is my least favorite of all of the personality disorders. These clients are demanding, difficult, and needy. I can only imagine what it's like forming a relationship with someone with those symptoms and, in fact, regardless of what he did or said, this person wouldn't change. Distancing yourself from someone like that is self-preservation, not heartlessness.

However, cutting (not suicide attempts) is a different matter. I don't joke about self-mutilation simply because a far-reaching majority of the time, it's a response to extreme abuse, typically sexual. As much as I'd like to agree with the "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" philosophy, I can't. I've heard too many stories too horrific to imagine and admire some people for their ability to survive. There are times that, while selfish, immoral, and for most of us, inconceivable, suicide seems like the only way out of a situation. Utter hopelessness and self-hatred leave people feeling like there is no other option.l

Now, if someone has a support system of friends and qualified professionals they can, obviously, learn to manage their illness, even appear cured. Some mental illnesses to have remission periods that far outlast the "active" times of their symptoms. Much like cancer patients, however, they are always considered in remission, and not "cured."

Once a person receives effective treatment, which research says is a combination of traditional talk therapy (pick your flavor, it really doesn't matter) and psychotropic medication in addition to having some healthy supports around them, they have a much higher chance of working through things. But remember, some mentall illnesses are biological and perceptions of reality can be morbidly altered. In most cases, however, once someone with a mental illness is shown a pathway to health, it really is in their court. The same is with a diabetic, who needs to consistently montior their blood sugar, food intake, etc..someone with mental illness needs to learn to self-monitor their moods, thoughts and behaviors using the tools provided by their mental health team and support system.

I always had a theory that when I worked with people, once they truly understood the nature of their illness, the interaction between their behaviors and thoughts, and the ways their illness impacts them - they were out of excuses for staying sick.

It is true that part of depression is a cyclic behavioral response known as "learned helplessness." The cycle is perpetuated by a series of behaviors like procrastination, attention-seeking, withdrawal, reinfocement, etc. And without quality treatment (which is actually fairly expensive and difficult to find, depending on geography) most of a depressed persons friends and family will unwittingly enable the cycle to continue, even worsen.

No one exists in this world that doesn't have issues, quirks, or battles with mood, even occasionally. We're all so quick to judge others..because we get uncomfortable..or because we've worked hard to get through our own shit, to have what we have, and it's frustrating to see people take an "easy way out." However, most people don't actively chose to be sick. Few of us would make the decision to develop an illness...and yet we lack compassion so often for those that are unfortunate enough to, for whatever reason, develop full-blown major depression, anxiety, etc.

This game...may or may not be some sort of microcosm of society. In it, we all share a common interest - that being - duh - this game. We all enjoy interaction, or power, or camaradarie...whatever aspect. But we all chose to play a game, to read and chat on forums, that do involve some degree of giving and getting feedback - even simple conversation - with others. Whatever need we're all having met by being here, as with anything that involves live beings - we have little choice regarding the others that troll these spots.

We're all going to argue, to disagree...we all bring life experiences and baggage along with us. There will always be someone better off, and someone worse off than you...here...or in real life. Venting is real. Pep has as much a right to vent as Cubs does to attack the post with his business-like attitude and dry wit. I may hate half the shit he says..I may call him out on that...but that's the reality here people - the flameboard is not moderated..you post here at your own risk. We won't all get along...but what fun would it be if we did?

Okay, this is waayyy to long as it is, but I think I've said everything I need to.

<Deep breath>



That is all.
 
And I can honestly say I read every word. Danggg that pooped me out :lol: .

You had me at:

When your body is hurting, people send flowers. When your mind is hurting, people throw rocks.

So true Jezza, so very true.
 
:oops: Thank you Neche and Kat...

And Kat, thanks for your story - you and I were posting at the same time and I, too, read every word. I have been in education for about 5 years..and wow - your sisters story touched me. Thanks so much for sharing. Very inspirational - and maybe just the bump up someone who's feeling a little down may need. Much more effective than putting someone down...
 
People are just jerks Pepsii, don't worry about it. If you worry about your rep. being hurt then don't be. I never judge the person being flamed about. Things happen and people get upset for something they may regret later. I hope that helps.
 
ultraseven said:
just imagine that you're capable of putting your hand thru the monitor and bitch slapping the person on the other side that's pissing you off...

Just go to that website (forgot its name :roll: ) where people who play FFXI post their IRL pictures....maybe that will help :D
 
I haven't wandered into the flameboard for a while, but I might as well toss my two gil into the situation.

A. Pepsii, you're annoying. That's all there is to it. I was on the airship with you and had to turn off emotes. I have lots of friends who are like to talk about sex, and lots of them who cuss a lot. Hell, I'm a fucking sailor. But you, you're just annoying.

B. Suicide and cutting are serious, but on the same hand, they're trendy. Lots of people cut or threaten to attempt suicide because they just want attention. Look at livejournal, or any blog site. It's full of pathetic people who are just whores for attention, and will do anything to get it. Call me a cold-hearted bitch, I'm used to it. But I have no respect for people threaten to attempt suicide, or cut themselves, because they're attention whores with no underlying problem. OR, people who HAVE a problem (i.e. Bipolder disorder, etc. etc.) and refuse to get help. I live with Bipolar, as well as a bakers dozen of other physical, and mental problems. But when I get depressed, I don't cut myself, I don't attempt suicide, I help myself and get through it, if I can't help myself, I get help from my family or my friends.

C. I don't think Cubswoo is insensitive, and I agree with him 100% here.

D. Thank you Jezza, for your wonderful detailed post on mental illnesses.
 
I wonder what the people who jump off buildings think right when they step off....i bet they look at the ledge and wish they had another chance at that instant to get back on. That's a moment of truth right there.


Whoa, Im glad I stopped smoking buds, I would be analyzing that all night in my head. :shock:
 
Every responce was very interesting and I enjoyed reading every part of this thread. It is rather fun to get an inside look as to how people think, and I feel that I have learned alot about you people by reading you responces.

To say something more typical of myself:
I am highly entertained in how this threads starting point lead to this conclusion. :D
 
I'm with Yomi. Pepsii, you're annoying. Hell, first thing you say on the thread is "I so sick of all you poepl ewho are hurtful," and a few posts later you're flinging "I hope some one you love kills themselfs and you think it's for attention so you can feel the guilt that you deserve for that horid comment" at Cubswoo. Well, fuck you. Lots of other people deal with the same illnesses and just as shitty life situations, and you don't get a pass because your life is oh-so-tough-and-clearly-more-important than everyone else's.

People whine so much that they're judged based on the way they act in-game or the posts they make on a board. Well, guess what: this is the only information most of us have about you. You might be visiting old people and reading to blind children and working at a soup kitchen and fostering puppies, but if all you do in game is act like an asshole, people in the game are going to treat you as such. If all you do is make idiotic posts, people in the forum are going to think you're an idiot. This is the "face" you have. No one is going to go research your offline life to see if you might be nicer/smarter/whatever-er than you seem on here.

Goddamn, the boards are getting to me lately.
 
vang said:
I wonder what the people who jump off buildings think right when they step off....i bet they look at the ledge and wish they had another chance at that instant to get back on. That's a moment of truth right there.


Whoa, Im glad I stopped smoking buds, I would be analyzing that all night in my head. :shock:

I would be thinking "I wish I was SpiderMan"


On a more sombre note and to add even more of a that mood to this thread that obviously turned a corner it wasn't planned for...


A couple years ago a friend of mine came on MSN and told me that he had just found out the night before that a close friend of his whom I do not know was found by his mother dead, hanging in the bathroom.

Apparently the kid had gone to a party where he didn't really know anyone after neglecting to go chill with my buddy, and decided to take Ecstacy. As some of you may know already the #2 rule to taking Ecstacy and many other harder drugs is to not do it alone or with people you dont know, place you dont feel comfortable in etc... so this all lead to the guy freaking out and ending up dead.

Moral of the story, follow the #1 Rule... "Don't do those drugs in the first place".
 
In reply to Vang: You are right actually, most people who have been lucky enough to survive a suicide attempt such as jumping off a building and leaving with no permanent damage, almost always say that as they were falling, they realized it was a bad decision and prayed for a second chance.

Jezza: Good points made. But the worst type are those who already have the help and medication but refuse to take it and cry for attention again, which is similar to Cubs' friend. They are hurting others more than themselves, and like Cubs I would try my best to help them but I too would have a limit before I give up, before I am simply hurt when one day someone goes back to their home and finds them in a puddle of their own blood.

Aggh, how can people be so selfish. Suicide is never a solution.
 
anesly said:
You might be visiting old people and reading to blind children and working at a soup kitchen and fostering puppies, but if all you do in game is act like an asshole, people in the game are going to treat you as such. ... This is the "face" you have. No one is going to go research your offline life to see if you might be nicer/smarter/whatever-er than you seem on here.

That's very true.

I don't believe my original flame against Pepsii for her MPK attempt on my party was unjustified. As angry as I was, I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and admitted she might be a great player every other day of the week and was only an asshole this one time... but one time is enough to damage your reputation.

Pepsii, I grudgingly accepted your apology in the other thread. Seeing you paint yourself as a misunderstood martyr makes me uneasy with that decision, but I'll abide by it.
 
Jezza, where to start?.... ooh i know... I love you XD
I know ALOT about psychology, but I can't ever think of the right word, or say the right things, in fact I often do the total oposite, THANK YOU SO MUCH for saying all the right words... and I mean ALL of them lol. I agree with everything you've said. And yes I was going to comment about that giving yourself bi-polar thing >.<
I understand that I need to detach myself (emotionaly) from what is said to me in the game, but it's hard at the moment... having a mixture of my "illnessess" makes it hard to do so and also from this mixture and sertain life events I have been having another nervous breakdown (don't know why it's called "nervous" though... its more pepression and anxiaty... maybe it's the psychosis that come with it... i don't know :P)
And are you a psychology profesor? I read all that and you know ALOT and u said you have been in education for 5 years, so I wondered.
Oh and maybe you (only person EVER) will kindof understand what I go through?... ^^ w/o mentioning MANY life events, I have been diagnosed (not by myself either :P) with: Bi-polar, Anxiaty, Depression, A.D.D., Obsesive Compusive Disorder, (and I guess sense I'm getting money from the state [S.S.I] a "savere personality Disorder", and ones that i DID have but got over through LOTS of hard work ^^ : Body Dismorphic Disorder (not sure if I'm over that of it's less a problem... there's so little known about that one >.<), Agoraphobia, post-tramatic stress disorder (which cause savere panick attacks for 3 years and just magicly went away one day ^^ well I stoped taking my 5 meds around that time... donno), A.D.H.D. I think that's it. Please don't think the doctors where inabling too :P I have researched all of these and KNOW I have/had them.
And about how poeple deal with there "disorders", I do not take medication, I do things every day thought to balense my seritonin intake (that my not be the right word) levels.


To those of you who talked about ppl not getting help, that's not me at all, I have willing been to a "mental hospital" (inpatiant) 13 times sense I was 9 years old, I have also been to countless day treatments and outpatiant therapies, I have been on almost as much medication as there exists for this disorders. I have tried to kill myself many times but not in 3 years ^^ and I didn't have my anial yearly breakdown (lol) in 2 years ^^ but I am having one now, but I am doing SO much better, I'm dealing with it great (with the exeption of my forum rants >.>). I am so prow of me :D (sense no one else will be hehe) and about this "personality disorder" :( I realy didn't know what that meant b4, I thought they where talking about my bi-polar. >.< But it's not like you all tlak about, I AM needy in the fact that I require education about what i have and not just a "fix", if I don't understand what I have I can't fix it and no amount of medication will "fix" what I have, I accualy have to go back and exept my past, frogive ppl and myself, work on how to change my lifestyle to fix thing, etc. Medication is just somthing to get you stable enough to do those things I spoke of. And from what I have been told I do need it as well as those things for the rest of my life, but we'll see about that. ^_~
And what about ppl who have personality disorders (with symptoms like you spoke of) but don't WANT to?... I can't control this, I try SO hard and I am getting better, I am on S.S.I. and am looking for an apartment, and I did move out of parents (aka inablers :P) house for a while but I had good reason to come back (for this temporary time ^^) I don't LIKE being needy, I don't like feeling worthless because I can't do things for myself, please don't judge ppl who have "personalty disorder"s either, it is hard. I have to determine what is and isn't just me wanting attention, I have to determine what attention I NEED and what is too much, though i DO crave attention I very very rarely try and get it, I am accualy quite a pushover and but all my need aside for everyone else... I lost a friend I love dearly because she put me in dangerous situations and after 2 years I FINALY just stoped going over there (and cried for about 2 weeks. lol)
Btw , I understand that I am being very dramitic about everything but that's how I am (at least atm). and I do not disagree with anything that has been said (for those of you who think that). I have an anazing and rare gift :P I see ALL sides every story and agree at least in part with every side. I take bits and pieces of each and say what I believe to be a balance and to be true (yet I understand it is only my opinion and it will be wrong to others. and that is good ^^)
And btw, I am not one of the ppl who cry for attention/pitty (often :P) I don't want pitty, I don't like pitty, it just makes me feel even more worhtless want I want, but will never get (I exepted that long ago :P) is respect. I have gone through SO much, I still do. I have more on my shoulers than most ppl but I still repspect, help, guide, complement, incourage, and even pitty when needed, ppl who have gone through alot themselve. Even those ppl I met in the last hospital I was in, that had there first moment of sadness at like age 35 and freaked out an came to hospital, I helped them too, and comforted, and repsected because, as I always say "Some ppl get raped, beaten, lose a loved one and it hurts SO bad, other break a nail but it hurts just as bad to them" which means, because of your lifestyle you can deal and not deal with setain thing, it's the same with other. I am poor and and have been made fun of my whole life, some one calles me a name I can hadle it, but a rich person that has had ppl telling them how perfect they are there whole lifes gets called a name and they my want to (common topic) kill themselves. They have a good right to do so. That to them is the equivolent of ur abuse.
With all the things I have said, I am sorry if I offended anyone, and even more so if I hurt someone. I tried very hard not to, but I am discovering that it can be hard to controle other ppls feeling (them being offended) hehe thats half a joke btw :P



Kat, I'm sorry those things happened to you and your family. From what you have said (if i knew her irl) I would have loved your sister. I was in special E.D. classe most my life (i have L.D.) and I have had some great teachers that I will never forget. It sound's like she was one of those great ones. :)

Songi_, ^^ u are silly <3

who ever called me annoying, sorry I know it is annoying to flood a screen I just get bored and... this game to me is a healthy escape (when I don't need it I won't play for months at a time :P) and I will try to not do that... alot of ppl get annoyed by it, but at the same time, I have met many nice, fun ppl that way. and you should realy losen up. It's the airship man.... not like u are busy fighting things or anything. I was just faving fun. ^^

Well, I think that is all I can reply to w/o crying more. I am having to ignore most of the things on page 4 of thread >.< sorry I just can't handle it atm. And sorry Jezza, I put all my extra coments in with my response to what u said. >.<
 
Jezza, where to start?.... ooh i know... I love you XD
I know ALOT about psychology, but I can't ever think of the right word, or say the right things, in fact I often do the total oposite, THANK YOU SO MUCH for saying all the right words... and I mean ALL of them lol. I agree with everything you've said. And yes I was going to comment about that giving yourself bi-polar thing >.<
I understand that I need to detach myself (emotionaly) from what is said to me in the game, but it's hard at the moment... having a mixture of my "illnessess" makes it hard to do so and also from this mixture and sertain life events I have been having another nervous breakdown (don't know why it's called "nervous" though... its more pepression and anxiaty... maybe it's the psychosis that come with it... i don't know :P)
And are you a psychology profesor? I read all that and you know ALOT and u said you have been in education for 5 years, so I wondered.
Oh and maybe you (only person EVER) will kindof understand what I go through?... ^^ w/o mentioning MANY life events, I have been diagnosed (not by myself either :P) with: Bi-polar, Anxiaty, Depression, A.D.D., Obsesive Compusive Disorder, (and I guess sense I'm getting money from the state [S.S.I] a "savere personality Disorder", and ones that i DID have but got over through LOTS of hard work ^^ : Body Dismorphic Disorder (not sure if I'm over that of it's less a problem... there's so little known about that one >.<), Agoraphobia, post-tramatic stress disorder (which cause savere panick attacks for 3 years and just magicly went away one day ^^ well I stoped taking my 5 meds around that time... donno), A.D.H.D. I think that's it. Please don't think the doctors where inabling too :P I have researched all of these and KNOW I have/had them.
And about how poeple deal with there "disorders", I do not take medication, I do things every day thought to balense my seritonin intake (that my not be the right word) levels.


To those of you who talked about ppl not getting help, that's not me at all, I have willing been to a "mental hospital" (inpatiant) 13 times sense I was 9 years old, I have also been to countless day treatments and outpatiant therapies, I have been on almost as much medication as there exists for this disorders. I have tried to kill myself many times but not in 3 years ^^ and I didn't have my anial yearly breakdown (lol) in 2 years ^^ but I am having one now, but I am doing SO much better, I'm dealing with it great (with the exeption of my forum rants >.>). I am so prow of me :D (sense no one else will be hehe) and about this "personality disorder" :( I realy didn't know what that meant b4, I thought they where talking about my bi-polar. >.< But it's not like you all tlak about, I AM needy in the fact that I require education about what i have and not just a "fix", if I don't understand what I have I can't fix it and no amount of medication will "fix" what I have, I accualy have to go back and exept my past, frogive ppl and myself, work on how to change my lifestyle to fix thing, etc. Medication is just somthing to get you stable enough to do those things I spoke of. And from what I have been told I do need it as well as those things for the rest of my life, but we'll see about that. ^_~
And what about ppl who have personality disorders (with symptoms like you spoke of) but don't WANT to?... I can't control this, I try SO hard and I am getting better, I am on S.S.I. and am looking for an apartment, and I did move out of parents (aka inablers :P) house for a while but I had good reason to come back (for this temporary time ^^) I don't LIKE being needy, I don't like feeling worthless because I can't do things for myself, please don't judge ppl who have "personalty disorder"s either, it is hard. I have to determine what is and isn't just me wanting attention, I have to determine what attention I NEED and what is too much, though i DO crave attention I very very rarely try and get it, I am accualy quite a pushover and but all my need aside for everyone else... I lost a friend I love dearly because she put me in dangerous situations and after 2 years I FINALY just stoped going over there (and cried for about 2 weeks. lol)
Btw , I understand that I am being very dramitic about everything but that's how I am (at least atm). and I do not disagree with anything that has been said (for those of you who think that). I have an anazing and rare gift :P I see ALL sides every story and agree at least in part with every side. I take bits and pieces of each and say what I believe to be a balance and to be true (yet I understand it is only my opinion and it will be wrong to others. and that is good ^^)
And btw, I am not one of the ppl who cry for attention/pitty (often :P) I don't want pitty, I don't like pitty, it just makes me feel even more worhtless want I want, but will never get (I exepted that long ago :P) is respect. I have gone through SO much, I still do. I have more on my shoulers than most ppl but I still repspect, help, guide, complement, incourage, and even pitty when needed, ppl who have gone through alot themselve. Even those ppl I met in the last hospital I was in, that had there first moment of sadness at like age 35 and freaked out an came to hospital, I helped them too, and comforted, and repsected because, as I always say "Some ppl get raped, beaten, lose a loved one and it hurts SO bad, other break a nail but it hurts just as bad to them" which means, because of your lifestyle you can deal and not deal with setain thing, it's the same with other. I am poor and and have been made fun of my whole life, some one calles me a name I can hadle it, but a rich person that has had ppl telling them how perfect they are there whole lifes gets called a name and they my want to (common topic) kill themselves. They have a good right to do so. That to them is the equivolent of ur abuse.
With all the things I have said, I am sorry if I offended anyone, and even more so if I hurt someone. I tried very hard not to, but I am discovering that it can be hard to controle other ppls feeling (them being offended) hehe thats half a joke btw :P



Kat, I'm sorry those things happened to you and your family. From what you have said (if i knew her irl) I would have loved your sister. I was in special E.D. classe most my life (i have L.D.) and I have had some great teachers that I will never forget. It sound's like she was one of those great ones. :)

Songi_, ^^ u are silly <3

who ever called me annoying, sorry I know it is annoying to flood a screen I just get bored and... this game to me is a healthy escape (when I don't need it I won't play for months at a time :P) and I will try to not do that... alot of ppl get annoyed by it, but at the same time, I have met many nice, fun ppl that way. and you should realy losen up. It's the airship man.... not like u are busy fighting things or anything. I was just faving fun. ^^

Well, I think that is all I can reply to w/o crying more. I am having to ignore most of the things on page 4 of thread >.< sorry I just can't handle it atm. And sorry Jezza, I put all my extra coments in with my response to what u said. >.<
 
Jezza, where to start?.... ooh i know... I love you XD
I know ALOT about psychology, but I can't ever think of the right word, or say the right things, in fact I often do the total oposite, THANK YOU SO MUCH for saying all the right words... and I mean ALL of them lol. I agree with everything you've said. And yes I was going to comment about that giving yourself bi-polar thing >.<
I understand that I need to detach myself (emotionaly) from what is said to me in the game, but it's hard at the moment... having a mixture of my "illnessess" makes it hard to do so and also from this mixture and sertain life events I have been having another nervous breakdown (don't know why it's called "nervous" though... its more pepression and anxiaty... maybe it's the psychosis that come with it... i don't know :P)
And are you a psychology profesor? I read all that and you know ALOT and u said you have been in education for 5 years, so I wondered.
Oh and maybe you (only person EVER) will kindof understand what I go through?... ^^ w/o mentioning MANY life events, I have been diagnosed (not by myself either :P) with: Bi-polar, Anxiaty, Depression, A.D.D., Obsesive Compusive Disorder, (and I guess sense I'm getting money from the state [S.S.I] a "savere personality Disorder", and ones that i DID have but got over through LOTS of hard work ^^ : Body Dismorphic Disorder (not sure if I'm over that of it's less a problem... there's so little known about that one >.<), Agoraphobia, post-tramatic stress disorder (which cause savere panick attacks for 3 years and just magicly went away one day ^^ well I stoped taking my 5 meds around that time... donno), A.D.H.D. I think that's it. Please don't think the doctors where inabling too :P I have researched all of these and KNOW I have/had them.
And about how poeple deal with there "disorders", I do not take medication, I do things every day thought to balense my seritonin intake (that my not be the right word) levels.


To those of you who talked about ppl not getting help, that's not me at all, I have willing been to a "mental hospital" (inpatiant) 13 times sense I was 9 years old, I have also been to countless day treatments and outpatiant therapies, I have been on almost as much medication as there exists for this disorders. I have tried to kill myself many times but not in 3 years ^^ and I didn't have my anial yearly breakdown (lol) in 2 years ^^ but I am having one now, but I am doing SO much better, I'm dealing with it great (with the exeption of my forum rants >.>). I am so prow of me :D (sense no one else will be hehe) and about this "personality disorder" :( I realy didn't know what that meant b4, I thought they where talking about my bi-polar. >.< But it's not like you all tlak about, I AM needy in the fact that I require education about what i have and not just a "fix", if I don't understand what I have I can't fix it and no amount of medication will "fix" what I have, I accualy have to go back and exept my past, frogive ppl and myself, work on how to change my lifestyle to fix thing, etc. Medication is just somthing to get you stable enough to do those things I spoke of. And from what I have been told I do need it as well as those things for the rest of my life, but we'll see about that. ^_~
And what about ppl who have personality disorders (with symptoms like you spoke of) but don't WANT to?... I can't control this, I try SO hard and I am getting better, I am on S.S.I. and am looking for an apartment, and I did move out of parents (aka inablers :P) house for a while but I had good reason to come back (for this temporary time ^^) I don't LIKE being needy, I don't like feeling worthless because I can't do things for myself, please don't judge ppl who have "personalty disorder"s either, it is hard. I have to determine what is and isn't just me wanting attention, I have to determine what attention I NEED and what is too much, though i DO crave attention I very very rarely try and get it, I am accualy quite a pushover and but all my need aside for everyone else... I lost a friend I love dearly because she put me in dangerous situations and after 2 years I FINALY just stoped going over there (and cried for about 2 weeks. lol)
Btw , I understand that I am being very dramitic about everything but that's how I am (at least atm). and I do not disagree with anything that has been said (for those of you who think that). I have an anazing and rare gift :P I see ALL sides every story and agree at least in part with every side. I take bits and pieces of each and say what I believe to be a balance and to be true (yet I understand it is only my opinion and it will be wrong to others. and that is good ^^)
And btw, I am not one of the ppl who cry for attention/pitty (often :P) I don't want pitty, I don't like pitty, it just makes me feel even more worhtless want I want, but will never get (I exepted that long ago :P) is respect. I have gone through SO much, I still do. I have more on my shoulers than most ppl but I still repspect, help, guide, complement, incourage, and even pitty when needed, ppl who have gone through alot themselve. Even those ppl I met in the last hospital I was in, that had there first moment of sadness at like age 35 and freaked out an came to hospital, I helped them too, and comforted, and repsected because, as I always say "Some ppl get raped, beaten, lose a loved one and it hurts SO bad, other break a nail but it hurts just as bad to them" which means, because of your lifestyle you can deal and not deal with setain thing, it's the same with other. I am poor and and have been made fun of my whole life, some one calles me a name I can hadle it, but a rich person that has had ppl telling them how perfect they are there whole lifes gets called a name and they my want to (common topic) kill themselves. They have a good right to do so. That to them is the equivolent of ur abuse.
With all the things I have said, I am sorry if I offended anyone, and even more so if I hurt someone. I tried very hard not to, but I am discovering that it can be hard to controle other ppls feeling (them being offended) hehe thats half a joke btw :P



Kat, I'm sorry those things happened to you and your family. From what you have said (if i knew her irl) I would have loved your sister. I was in special E.D. classe most my life (i have L.D.) and I have had some great teachers that I will never forget. It sound's like she was one of those great ones. :)

Songi_, ^^ u are silly <3

who ever called me annoying, sorry I know it is annoying to flood a screen I just get bored and... this game to me is a healthy escape (when I don't need it I won't play for months at a time :P) and I will try to not do that... alot of ppl get annoyed by it, but at the same time, I have met many nice, fun ppl that way. and you should realy losen up. It's the airship man.... not like u are busy fighting things or anything. I was just faving fun. ^^

Well, I think that is all I can reply to w/o crying more. I am having to ignore most of the things on page 4 of thread >.< sorry I just can't handle it atm. And sorry Jezza, I put all my extra coments in with my response to what u said. >.<
 
SHIT! sorry >.< my comp lagged... i thought it wasnt posting so i stoped and clicked agaian. SORRY >.<
 
k i DID read page 4 of thread >.>

and about the whole changing your mind when u try and die thing... yeah it sucks. I took a bottle of pills (severale years ago), well accualy i di that when i was 13 too, but that was more a cry for help, and I got it ^^ went to a hospital that night and got help, but anyways, I took a bottle of pills and laid down on the bet not realising it put me into a full blown state of psychosis (well i was in one b4 that kinda >.>) and have like the untimate panic attack, I was 17, my bf (whom i lived with) woke up yelled at me because he couldnt find his ciggs and punched a whole in the wall of owr new apt, and it was the last strw for me, he went to work and I stayed up crying listening to music that use to (still does ^^) cheer me up and realized every song on that CD was about fucked up relationships (lol u hear about ppl blaming Marilyn Manson, I blame Sarah McLachlan XD haha j/k) and I was gonna slit my wrists (funny part I'm O.C.D. and for some crazy reason I cleaned the rasor with alchahol b4 i tried that lol) but I reasised I am a wuss and I realy cant inflict pain on myself, so I fould a bottle of pills (searched for them realy >.>) and I took them all with chased with Pepsi™ (lol). and after the pills kicked in... and the panick attack came... and the thought that "OMG, I don't want to die, I want to make my life KICK ASS, not give up on it. It sucks now but I can do better" and not just did I prey but (being that there was no phone in apartment yet) I walked outside at 8am and walked to my sisters house (4 blocks away) but no one was home, it was an old crapy house so i tried to pick the lock so I could call for help (the 3 ppl living there where hard core druggies, they wouldn't have been freaked out if I did that so don't worry :P) but that didn't work so I had no chose but to brave my incredible fear (some more) and flag down a car (oh btw b4 i left the house i made myself throw up a bunch >.<) and the main thing I regret is in the car that picked me up (i love that woman btw :P) it was a mom taking her kid to work, and when she asked "Why do you need to go to the hospital sweety? If you don't mind me asking" (I didn't tell her at first but I didn't want to be rude and not answer) and I told her (keeping it as calm as posible for the kid) "I had some problems with my boyfriend and well....... I tried to kill myself" and she sympothised and we both said things explaning to the (10 y/o i'm guessing) kid, saying how life getrs hard but that doing this was a bad choise, and of course I agreed at that moment lol.

that turning into more of a story than a reply, my bad.
 
Halifirien said:
Pepsii, I grudgingly accepted your apology in the other thread. Seeing you paint yourself as a misunderstood martyr makes me uneasy with that decision, but I'll abide by it.


Would you know a prophet if you saw one? Would you see an angel right in front of your face? Would be one of the ppl who killed Jesus? Would you exept that Jesus wasn't the only martyr just the only Masia(can't spell that)?
I am a martyr because that's what "God" made me. I have tried to change it but ultimatly I find myself still preying to tak one the pian of (for example) a person unconcious, getting the fuck beaten out of them, so much blood on his has they had to say "Does anyone know this man? Do you recognise the tatoos?". I didn't phisicaly do anythign about it because it was security guads and police men doing it. I did yell something along the lines of "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? HE'S A PERSON!!" and them me bf quickly shoo'd me out of the place lol

But, thank you for exepting my opology. That was the fist tim I got blacklisted or even the first time ANYONE has hated me irl or in game. Was shocking. But I guess it has to happen one day, just 20 years of making sure no one hated me down thre drain.

anyway, I am finaly coming to exect that about half the ppl in this game are simple mean,closed minded, criticle assholes, who don't deserve my apologies, but I will still give them out and meen them.
The thing is I AM a person, and YOU are ppl too, and it's ppl like you (those mean ones of u :P) that would make ME criticle and mean like you but, I chose to still be nice, and still try and find a way to work standing up for myself in with that. and on that note (reply how u will, I can't stop you) FUCK YOU!!!
 
Pepsii said:
Halifirien said:
I am a martyr because that's what "God" made me. I have tried to change it but ultimatly I find myself still preying to tak one the pian of (for example) a person unconcious, getting the fuck beaten out of them, so much blood on his has they had to say "Does anyone know this man? Do you recognise the tatoos?".

You are kidding, right? This is why I fall into this category:

No one exists in this world that doesn't have issues, quirks, or battles with mood, even occasionally. We're all so quick to judge others..because we get uncomfortable..or because we've worked hard to get through our own shit, to have what we have, and it's frustrating to see people take an "easy way out." quote]

Just to clarify, here is the text book definition:

mar·tyr (märtr) n.
1) One who chooses to suffer death rather than renounce religious principles.
2) One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.

I fail to see where you fall into either of these categories in order to say that "God" made you a martyr. To compare yourself to Jesus and other prophets is just downright blasphemous.

There is however a sub-definition which you may fit under:

One who makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top