Absolutely amazin, how much comment this thread has generated... but then again, maybe not. Maybe instead it's just surfaced a problem that desparately needed surfacing.
Endgame play is an order of magnitude more involved than play to that point - it requires larger alliances, sometimes multiple alliances, and often some verysophisticated strategy and organizational skills. Each person's play has to step up too. So yes, it is more involved. But that level of involvement also requires some prioritization and some reality checks. We're gaming. It's supposed to be fun and (hopefully) exciting overall. It's supposed to be challenging (at least, for us it is).
So, those approaching 75 should maybe think about those things when looking at endgame shells. Here are a few things you may want to evaluate before you decide to join an endgame shell, and in deciding which shells you might want to consider.
1. Do you need a break? Getting to 75, especially those last few levels, can be a grind. Maybe you have other things you want to do to round out your character, like going for rank, or fame, or doing those quests you've always wanted to do, or promys (at least the initial ones), or sky (generally required for most endgame linkshells anyway) - or leveling subjobs or alternate jobs, or bcnm'ing, or just plain exploring (which can be a very fun thing to do). If you need a break, you might want to seriously consider taking one and just enjoying your uber bod.
2. What's your purpose in joining an endgame linkshell? Is it abjuration armor? or af2? or other nifty stuff? or learning to play sophisticated alliance or multi-alliance play, or just becoming better at your job? (me, me, ME! ^^), or because the shell has people you like and like to party with? or that its goals are the same as yours? Or some of the above? Answering these questions will help you a lot in finding what you're looking for.
3.. What's out there? Who's looking for what? Do you have what they need? Do THEY have what you need? (see 2 above).
4. A lot of endgame shells are specialized - gods only, dynamis only, other things, all of the above, some of the above, etc. How does that fit?
5. Will their schedule work for you?
6. What kind of time commitments will there be beyond standard scheduled events?
Those are many nuts and bolts questions - assuming all of the previous questions have the right answers, we get to the important stuff.
7. What is their attitude towards you and other recruits? Are you a lowlife who should be so greatful for an invitation that you should not question anything? Or are you a potential friend and member of the family? Or is it somewhere in between?
8. Are you required, either in writing or as a practical matter, to forsake all otehr shells, or activities, or friends, etc?
9. Will some people outside the shell automatically not talk to you if you join that shell? Will you feel any pressure to not talk to them?
10. Do you feel their leadership is cliquish? Do you feel it is trustworthy?
11. Does it feel more like a business deal, or more like joining something rewarding? Are the members friendly and supportive?
12. How well organized is the shell? Do they have their own webpage? Is it used frequently by all members?
13. Do things get communicated well? Are the calendars up to date, and set far enough in advance that you can plan for things?
14. Does leadership address problems in a reasonably mature manner, and in a manner that generates trust?
15. Is the leadership sufficiently robust that 2 or 3 leaders can be absent for an extended period (dealing with rl events), without the shell coming to a standstill?
16. Do they have good strategies? Do you have access to those strategies? How experienced is the leadership?
17. When problems arise, do they work with the problem rather than attack the messenger?
Final questions - Important to many (most common reason for people leaving an endgame shell, rather than being kicked)
18. What is their system for divying up loot or items? Is it equitable? Is it understandable? (Believe it or not, most writings I've seen on this issue assume you already have a lot of information, are nonexistent or are not really very coherent or comprehensible)
19. Is it transparent? Will you always know where you stand?
20. Is it followed? Or do exceptions swallow the rule?
This is all off the top of my head. And of course the answers don't have to all be top line satisfactory - a startup endgame shell would have a hard time meeting a lot of these criteria. Many shells have a probationary period - which is good. What you should realize is that you can be evaluating them at the same time.
I'm in an endgame shell now. I like it a lot. The people are friendly, and supportive. They do not require that I "forsake all others" to be one of them, which is a wonderful thing, as I help lead a non-endgame linkshell and I'm committed to helping others progress in their games. They're well organized and plan things out. And my endgame linkshell and the people in it have helped me to improve my play tremendously.
I'm still paying my dues with regard to participation, showing up, being on time (trying like hell to, anyway), etc. But I've never had and issue with that or seen anyone else have one in this shell. And they're well aware from my application that yeah, I'd love to have all the uber endgame gear, and will work for it, but that the experience and growth are far more important to me. Only things I need to do are to continue improving as a mage ( yah, I'm a whm - one of "them"), and to somehow figure out a way to overcome my "morning person-ness" and stay with em till the wee hours, without getting qwertyface.
Final notes First, leading an endgame shell requires special people - I admire anyone or any group that can lead and perpetuate an engame shell - and I also don't envy them at all. It takes a lot of person or persons to do that.
Second - I know Bustaballs, and I know his lady. They're decent, nice, fun people. They're good players. I can see how what happened would sour anyone to the game. And I truly hope they don't leave, because I've enjoyed their company, and their leaving would be a true loss. Nuff said.
Sincerely,
Firebrand
melees should level RDM, BLM, WHM, SMN, PLD, NIN, or BRD. Melees in general in endgame aren't needed and don't match damage of a SMN and BLM anyways. We all know in end game the only melee that might actually prove their worth are MNK with chi blast, THF for TH even then.. meh. Melee = useless end game for the most part 
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