As the Quetzalcoatl Server turns...

LOL keep them comin Serigala, I also second the motion to sticky this =P
 
Hanow said:
That said, I take everything back. It’s ok to bot fish, to hack, and bot claim Fafnir. After all, the game is dying because, you know, Aion and FFXIV are coming out soon. What’s the point in playing legit anymore, y’know? Amirite? Lulz
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Fucking outstanding.
 
Hanow said:
(7/2/2009) As the Quetzalcoatl Server turns… It’s ok to bot fish, to hack, and bot claim Fafnir. After all, the game is dying because, you know, Aion and FFXIV are coming out soon. What’s the point in playing legit anymore, y’know? Amirite? Lulz
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That has been the mentality since day one. Why work a month for what you can bot for tomorrow? But hey, as long as your e-dick is big and hard, everyone will think you're awesome anyway. Stay classy, Quetzalcoatl.
 
WTB: ??? Hats, will pay 5k, plzplzplzplz

Looking for Storm Zuchetto...
 
Giving it a try....

August 3 2009. To the dismay of all EU dynamis shells < all two of them> SE once again places maintance during their Dynamis blocks. To protest this action a total force of 36 show up at 12:59 pm est to protest the unfair blocking of their dynamis time. SE promptly shuts off the servers never hearing a word. Gwath hates everyone, but can not tell you because there is mainatance. Rather than wait, he goes to the bar to think about how much he hates all of you.

There has been a rash of Moogle houses leaking. The carpenter guild is currently over worked and is seeking aid to help catch up on the repairs. Rusty bucket prices have sky rockets due to adventurers buying them to deal with the leaks. Blackmages have been seeing an increase in party invites, too bad it is not for exp.

JUST IN : Spiders and leeches are now on the endangered species list due to smn burns. If you donate 100k you can help keep these creatures in abundance. Never mind that was just Filmore trying to trick parties into letting him join.

After about two weeks of silence after China bans RMTs, the tells begin again after all rmts jobs were outsourced to russia.
 
Not bad at all. But you forgot the Sheep Fuckers.
 
Looks like Seri changed his name, huh.
 
rofl, I love it :D and fyi this thread was meant for everyone ;; I can only joke so much, before I hit a funny fuse, or an aneurysm
 
Hanow said:
To be continued, please add your own jokes and stories too!
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I can't read, evidently.

Sorry Keryan, I did find your story funny :P
 
Aug 9

This week there has been warning signs posted inKorroloka Tunnel. It seems after Summoner have taken up residence there new players begun to think there was no monsters. Young Ricardo walked from Bastoks entrance to eastern Altep without seeing any monsters. Seeing as there was no monsters he felt save in returning the same way when 200 monsters suddenly appeared and caused him to delevel. Due to this happening every hour GM's felt it nessecary to post warning signs that there are monsters lurking in the dark.

The officals of Selbina are offering a reward for information leading to the arrest of unknown individuals who have been molesting sheep. One of the suspects was described as a male taru who was last seen tryign to hump an elvaan bard's leg. Due to job class profiling beastmasters have petitioned the duke of Jeuno to allow them to sue Selbina.

In other news while Gwath was nagging another player on how to do thier job a monster walked up and sneak attacked Gwath knocking him out. When he was revived there was writing on his forhead. It said "Diduts gnieb pots. An on going investigation into the matter has lead to the possiblity that it was the Goblins. Never fear Gwath still hates everyone.
Officals ask that if any player has information regarding these events to please come forward and report what occured. Rewards pending the arrest and trial of these heinous villains.
 
LOL had to raise a few newbish friends in Korroloka the other day, think I'm gonna camp there for a while just in case this happens again XD
 
Keryan said:
The officals of Selbina are offering a reward for information leading to the arrest of unknown individuals who have been molesting sheep. One of the suspects was described as a male taru who was last seen tryign to hump an elvaan bard's leg. Due to job class profiling beastmasters have petitioned the duke of Jeuno to allow them to sue Selbina.
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LMAO for a good five minutes.
 
Keryan said:
This week there has been warning signs posted inKorroloka Tunnel. It seems after Summoner have taken up residence there new players begun to think there was no monsters. Young Ricardo walked from Bastoks entrance to eastern Altep without seeing any monsters. Seeing as there was no monsters he felt save in returning the same way when 200 monsters suddenly appeared and caused him to delevel. Due to this happening every hour GM's felt it nessecary to post warning signs that there are monsters lurking in the dark.

The officals of Selbina are offering a reward for information leading to the arrest of unknown individuals who have been molesting sheep. One of the suspects was described as a male taru who was last seen tryign to hump an elvaan bard's leg. Due to job class profiling beastmasters have petitioned the duke of Jeuno to allow them to sue Selbina.

In other news while Gwath was nagging another player on how to do thier job a monster walked up and sneak attacked Gwath knocking him out. When he was revived there was writing on his forhead. It said "Diduts gnieb pots. An on going investigation into the matter has lead to the possiblity that it was the Goblins. Never fear Gwath still hates everyone.
Officals ask that if any player has information regarding these events to please come forward and report what occured. Rewards pending the arrest and trial of these heinous villains.
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I had no idea you were this funny lol. Aside from stalking me...
 
aug 26

I am writing this on little sleep....sorry if it is not as funny as it could be. There has not been a lot going on in the game to make fun of. Please keep in mind this is just a joke that deals with the behaviors we hae seen of many players. PLease feel free to post funny stories. This thread should not be allowed to die.

The Daily Digest
Police Beat
After an exaustive invesitigation, sources are saying that there may be multiple sheep molesters. There is some specualtion as to weather or not a Turkey was also abused. The Selbian authorities ask that all adventures please be on the look out for any suspicious people in the areas of the dunes, La theine's, and highlands. The suspect in these heinious crimes was heard shouting in Sandy about his mad sheep skills, but when authorites tried to capture him, he warped away shouting "and I got your Moogle too.

After the brave Elvaan bard came foward about the taru molestation he sufferd, hundreds of people have come foward with stories of Taru taru males who have been humping the legs of adventurers. In most cases they are seen trying to hump the legs of Mithra and female humes. One such victim of dry taru taru humping had this to say. "I was fighting the Mad sheep for my FoV when I barely felt this tugging on my boot. All of a sudden the sheep ran away... I went to chase after it but tripped over this red headed taru....he asked me if it was good...before I could ask what he meant he said that it is more fun with the dead since he can reach higher..." The interview was cut short when Bastokian officals came and took her in for questioning in the disappearance of one Turkey-urkey the cousin of Yoran a windurstian offical.

Bastokian officals ask that all female adventures please keep a Reraise scroll and a tazer with them at all times to deter any more necrophilia. After much concern was raised over the safety of the female citizens of bastok fund were allocated for research into a way to deter unwanted taru taru humping.
Cid is rumored to be working on the new stun gun 3000. It is being modled after a rdm/drk. Once completed it will be able to shock any player non stop for 45 seconds. Please see attached note.

********************************************
WANTED MALE TARUS.
Cid is looking for a few brave tarus who are willing to help foward scientific reasearch. Full medical, expense and life insurance. Pay to be negotiated. Please inquire in Metalworks.
********************************************

Windurst has reported a rise in missing person cases. 95% involve Taru males. The council is recommending that all male tarus be tagged for tracking before they are released into the wilds so they might discover where all the missing tarus are. The Mithrain councils request that all male tarus be neutered before going on adventuring has denied *again*. They even showed a very cute picture that stated Be kind have your tarutaru spayed or neutered. Free neutering program located near the Dhamel farm. To show how innocent and helpful it would be to the environment. Shantoto was seen laughing as she set ablaze all of the posters.

In other news Windurst Library is asking for help in recovery the book 101 ways to skin a taru. It was borrowed by a shifty looking Galka who had also visited the Cooking Guild for any reciepes on how to cook tarutaru... see page A3 for more

A source in the Tenshodo has reported a rise in illegal organ trafficing. Jeuno officals are baffled by this since only the beastmen seem intrested in the organs. Rumor has it they are trying to make elemental obis. Adventurers beware you could be next.

Following the Case of what seems to be a Goblin attack on gwath, a Goblin was seen carrying a bag filled with paper to the Duke of Jeuno. Upon closer examination it was discovered that the ink used was only found made by the alchemy shop in bastok. There is some speculation as to if the goblin could have been a thf in disguise. More to come in this on going case.
Remember if you have any information in any of these cases please notify the local gaurds.
 
Integral passed out 30+ pearls the last couple days to many people, making everyone in their LS a sackholder. After mass recruitment and confusion it was found out that it was not Integral but a shell called Integrai that put a capital "I" in the end to make it look like Integral.

(LMAO funny cause it's true XD)

The new Integral shell mass gathered in Whitegate and took on the old, most infamous of all Aht Urghan HNMs, Extreme Boredom. After nothing happening for several hours many members went out to merit and do other stuff.
 
Sifade said:
Integral passed out 30+ pearls the last couple days to many people, making everyone in their LS a sackholder. After mass recruitment and confusion it was found out that it was not Integral but a shell called Integrai that put a capital "I" in the end to make it look like Integral.

(LMAO funny cause it's true XD)

The new Integral shell mass gathered in Whitegate and took on the old, most infamous of all Aht Urghan HNMs, Extreme Boredom. After nothing happening for several hours many members went out to merit and do other stuff.
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Get the fuck out.

That's hilarious lol.
 
This just in! HappyAngel is scrambling to get someone to Port Bastok to get an LS because they realized it can happen to them too!
 
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