child support

kicamo said:
any man who wont pay child support for his own child is a deadbeat piece of shit, and should be thrown in jail till they buck up.
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How do you propose they "buck up" while sitting in that cell?
 
thats one point im trying to make. how are you going to conform to the state if you cant employ yourself in a job.
on one hand, like someone mentioned earlier, without jail threats, alot of people may not pay. there is almost not a happy medium here.
 
In Kentucky, they have a thing if you owe back child support and you win the lottery they can take your winnings. Example if you owe 10,000$ in back pay... and you win 15000$ then you will only get 5000$ and even less after taxes XD Same thing is true if you owe back taxes.

My mom works for the lottery and its funny watching guys come in and lose their check to childsupport and then say it was their girlfriend's ticket... go out to the car to get their girlfriend to claim it for them... then their girlfriend finds out they have a kid and owe back child support XD Happens all the time in kentucky
 
i also agree with the paying for your child if you made, But i must say my husband has a child out of our marriage way before we met so i dont mind him paying for it what gets me and stresses me out half of the time is he NEVER gets to see his son, the first time he seen him in 2 years was last year when my neice and him were going to the same school. i met with the mother on one occasion and the bitch is really crazy , and im not just saying that b.c its my husband's ex its really really true . At this meeting i had with her she told me her sons thing was bigger than his dads and im like ok wtf is this mother doing looking at her sons tally whacker , then we talked some more and the son told me when he turned 18 he was going to kill my husband and myself if i was around when he killed his dad . Now this is where i think if this child doesnt want anything to do with his father and they want to take his rights away from him then why is he having to pay child support ? Its dumb and all but i for one am pissed about it shes gets over 600 a month for this child and wont let his father see him which i dont know if i want this child in my house after he threatened to kill us . ok im done for now
 
If you're slowly going backrupt, scrouge together all you can and go to mexico/canada.
 
You know what I always thought was fucked up? The pseudo dad liablity for child support. A growing trend for single mothers with dead-beat fathers who aren't paying child support is to get a new husband, and then talk the poor bastard into adopting the child.

Now, alot of guys aren't gonna say no to adopting their new wife's kid, I mean, you just got into marriage. But then the bitch divorces you, and you're on the hook for child support for a kid that isn't yours. And good luck getting custody or even visitation for the kid. I actually know a couple guys who are in this situation, and its pretty messed up.

Never trust a woman who's looking out for her kid, she will do whatever she has to do, regardless of how it affects you, I guess thats nature for you.
 
You can get work priviledges if your DL is pulled
 
I have a 3 year old son. I am not with his father. He was ordered to pay me $400.00/month in child support almost 1 year ago. I have not seen a dime from him yet, though we have reached an agreement, and I should get my first check this month (if not, that is it, and I am taking his ass to court).

My boyfriend (who I live with), has 3 children with his ex. He pays her $888.00 every other week in child support. She "claims" to gross $100.00/month, and is therefore only responsible for 17.5% of the costs for the children. (We are going to court over this, too, because she has misrepresented her earnings and a bunch of other stuff.)

I have a fair amount of experience with Child Support, and I feel it necessary to make a nice long post in response to some of the comments I've read in this thread.

lets say if your out of work, you would think that if you have a legit
reason to why you cant pay, you could have it deferred till you can pay....wrong. your still required to pay.
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When did the needs of the child change based upon the parent's employment status?

If a male can earn enough to support not only himself but 2 others, a female can do the same and shouldn't need the male's income. Of course I think they loose all of it if they get remarried. Of course, this is why mommy just has a live in boyfriend till kid turns 18.
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What a bunch of shit. If either parent enters into a successful relationship, the other parent doesn't have to support the child he/she created? Suddenly the boyfriend/girlfriend has to assume financial responsibility for the child? Pfft... that is ridiculous. If you had sex and got pregnant/got someone pregnant, both parties better be damned good and ready to provide for that child - financially and emotionally. If not, better grow up quick
or sign the fucking rights over to someone who can deal with the responsibility.
What you are saying here is that the female can make as much as the man. First of all, you cannot expect both parties to make equal wages based on education and job/industry experience are most likely different (this does not equate to the man will always make more than the woman; in my case, I make 2x what the father does). Secondly, both parents need to contribute financially to the child. If both parents have equal salaries, they need to
devote equal amounts to the wellfare of the child. Just because one parent gets to see the child more does not mean he/she should bear any more or less of the financial responsibility.

i understand it totally, but the state really isnt looking after the welfare of everyone. they wont care if someone is homeless, hungry, etc...just as long as they get their money, thats all that matters
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If you are proactive about the situation and keep the ex AND the court informed about your financial situation, the court tends to be more lenient. If you just stop paying without explaining why, fuck yeah they assume you've just defaulted. The court does not care about the wellfare of everyone - they care about the wellfare of the child. As long as you are
doing everything in your power to provide what you are legally obligated to and keeping other involved parties in the loop, you shouldn't have all these problems. The key is being proactive and being able to prove that you are doing your best to correct the situation and provide for your child.

If you aren't fully prepared to support your child till age 18, you never should have been fucking in the first place.
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I agree wholeheartedly. You need to be prepared to deal with any consequences to any choice you make, whether that is to do the dirty or anything else.

however, if you look at it, if you go to jail, you still dont pay.
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Granted, I don't live in FL and I'm not familiar with the laws there, but in the 2 states I am familiar with, when you go to jail for defaulting on child support, you have to do a work release program or work directly for the jail. ALL the money you make goes toward child support. I think this is a good solution.

how are you going to conform to the state if you cant employ yourself in a job.
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Will McDonald's not hire you? I think it is ridiculous that you say you can't find a job. Maybe you can't find a job you like, but there is a job out there that will hire you, even if its cleaning toilets or digging ditches or working at McDonald's. You HAVE to support your kid. Even though you may think you are better than those jobs, $5.00/hr is better than $0.00/hr...
 
There are just two things I think should be taken into account for.

1: To be sure the parent recieving child support isn't in any way using the funds for personal benefit.

2. If the courts don't give some custody rights to a parent, there should be a damn good reason. And if the main parent isn't allowing the other to see the child that the court should be quickly and decisively involvied.
 
heh.. my mom should have gotten 41 years worth of child support.. My sister, me, and my other sister.. with all different dads. She never got a penny.

In my case.. I have a child. I don't want to leave my child but I can't stand her mother and need to leave. I want to take my kid but I'm at mom's home and she has lots of friends that will defend her in court while I have no one. Also, she has made some pretty nasty threats. She already lives off the government (SSI, food stamps, etc) so if I leave and can't get my child I'll be forced to pay money to someone who's just going to use it to support their smoking habit they started back up. ... $400-$900 a month O.O... I've never even made more than $400 a month at a job.

If I leave I'll never be able to make a living. I'll just be in jail the rest of my life. Good to know.
 
You know it's really not all that difficult to avoid this situation all together if you're a thinkin' kinda guy before you end up with a kid.


That's about all i have for this thread. The situation itself is a multiple injustice on all involved.
 
I can only speak from my own experiences. My first husband and I were married for 10 years. We have 2 awesome children who are now 13 and 10 years old. As difficult as it was I tried very hard when going through the divorce proceedings to do what was best for MY CHILDREN. I was aware of course of my husband's financial status and agreed (against my lawyer's advice) to take HALF of what I was legally entitled in child support. I did it for one reason and one reason only. My children spend every other weekend at their father's home and I needed to know that when they were staying with him they were somewhere safe. We also agreed that he would pay me directly. I don't know about other states but here in Oregon at the time we had that option. It actually works better for me because I don't have to wait for the state to send me the money. He just gives me a check on the first. He's only been late (and only by a couple of days) once in over 5 years.

If only EVERYONE involved would keep in mind that it's the child(ren) who need to be looked out for we wouldn't be dealing with all this shit. But so many parent...mothers and fathers alike have so much anger towards the other parent that they get mired down in bullshit and the kids suffer. My ex is an asshole...a total prick. He either quit or got laid off from his job and didn't bother to tell me. I found out when I went to pick up my daughter's asthma medicine and had to pay $150 out of pocket because he no longer had insurance. Both of my children will need braces soon and I am now faced with additional stress in trying to figure out how I'll pay for them.
Do I take him back to court for more money? $200 a month is NOTHING (I am talkking total here not per child) and yet if I ask him to chip in extra for sports or clothes for back to school (half the time he doesn't return the clothes I send over with them) he is pissed and starts making comments about how I manage money. I am still struggling with how to deal with this situation even toying with taking him back to court but I do not want a war with him. We still have a long ways to go in raising our children and that is the bottom line.
 
Linhjah said:
I have a 3 year old son. I am not with his father. He was ordered to pay me $400.00/month in child support almost 1 year ago. I have not seen a dime from him yet, though we have reached an agreement, and I should get my first check this month (if not, that is it, and I am taking his ass to court).

My boyfriend (who I live with), has 3 children with his ex. He pays her $888.00 every other week in child support. She "claims" to gross $100.00/month, and is therefore only responsible for 17.5% of the costs for the children. (We are going to court over this, too, because she has misrepresented her earnings and a bunch of other stuff.)

I have a fair amount of experience with Child Support, and I feel it necessary to make a nice long post in response to some of the comments I've read in this thread.


When did the needs of the child change based upon the parent's employment status?


What a bunch of shit. If either parent enters into a successful relationship, the other parent doesn't have to support the child he/she created? Suddenly the boyfriend/girlfriend has to assume financial responsibility for the child? Pfft... that is ridiculous. If you had sex and got pregnant/got someone pregnant, both parties better be damned good and ready to provide for that child - financially and emotionally. If not, better grow up quick
or sign the fucking rights over to someone who can deal with the responsibility.
What you are saying here is that the female can make as much as the man. First of all, you cannot expect both parties to make equal wages based on education and job/industry experience are most likely different (this does not equate to the man will always make more than the woman; in my case, I make 2x what the father does). Secondly, both parents need to contribute financially to the child. If both parents have equal salaries, they need to
devote equal amounts to the wellfare of the child. Just because one parent gets to see the child more does not mean he/she should bear any more or less of the financial responsibility.


If you are proactive about the situation and keep the ex AND the court informed about your financial situation, the court tends to be more lenient. If you just stop paying without explaining why, fuck yeah they assume you've just defaulted. The court does not care about the wellfare of everyone - they care about the wellfare of the child. As long as you are
doing everything in your power to provide what you are legally obligated to and keeping other involved parties in the loop, you shouldn't have all these problems. The key is being proactive and being able to prove that you are doing your best to correct the situation and provide for your child.


I agree wholeheartedly. You need to be prepared to deal with any consequences to any choice you make, whether that is to do the dirty or anything else.


Granted, I don't live in FL and I'm not familiar with the laws there, but in the 2 states I am familiar with, when you go to jail for defaulting on child support, you have to do a work release program or work directly for the jail. ALL the money you make goes toward child support. I think this is a good solution.


Will McDonald's not hire you? I think it is ridiculous that you say you can't find a job. Maybe you can't find a job you like, but there is a job out there that will hire you, even if its cleaning toilets or digging ditches or working at McDonald's. You HAVE to support your kid. Even though you may think you are better than those jobs, $5.00/hr is better than $0.00/hr...
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with that said, it probably changes state to state. in the state of florida, you can tell them that your unemployed at the time till your blue in the face or whatever, they wont work with you.

i have seen my son a total of 4 whole days in the last 6 months. yet, im still required to pay child support. now, i whole heartedly do not have a problem with paying child support, but if im going to be required to pay, im also going to require to see what this money is going towards. IE: my son. i look at it as paying for a service, yet you dont get the service you paid for. now i have to go to court to deal with it to have an order put into place to see my son.

for the "did the needs of the child change" part of the post, you cant squeeze blood from a turnip. if your not getting income, there is no money going out either. obviously what you say is right, but if you have no money, you cant spend money.

and for the last part, you didnt post half of that sentence. the other half explains that if your in jail, you cannot be employed. with that, my answer still stands. being in jail does no good for either party. but, lets say that you work off the money owed for the state. you earn, if you want to call it earning, money that you owe. technically, you dont generate revenue for yourself that you will in turn send to the state. by being imprisoned, you work for the state, the state pays you which you will end up going to them anyhow. so, technicall, the state payed out of their pocket with no outside income. for that, i ask. whats the point. the state wants people to pay the state so the state can pay the custodial parent. but when imprisoned, the state is the only person that pays the custodial parent.
obviously thats really the only thing that can be done for the actual deadbeats, otherwise they will continue on what they are doing. but what about those that may have legitimate issues. there is always a way around an excuse. but i will give an example of what i mean. this is what happened for me...
i was employed for when i originally started paying support. i continually did so for 2 years when me and my ex were seperated. no issues and no big deal.
in december of 04, we decided to attempt to work it out. she at the time was moving from tampa to orlando and for this to work, i was going to have to do the same. so i did. i left my job to move to orlando. so then, im unemployed. after a week or so of being in orlando, i had major car issues(mechanical) and it was cheaper to get rid of it. so now, im without a vehicle. no big issue because my ex has one. well, things werent panning out like they were planned and i was booted out. and yes, i was the one to go since it was her name on the lease. so now, i have no where to live. i had to use ALL money i had to get a cheap apt. (way out in the outskirts or nowhere). so, here i am, starting fresh, no money to my name. but guess what, im still required to pay 256 bucks a month which is understandable. but at the same time, having something to eat is nice too. the state will still knock down your door to get what they want. now, the only good thing they have done for me so far is what most states will do. and that is to add what you owe onto the end of the support. so, if you stop paying on the 18 birthday, whatever you owe will just be tacked onto the end. so you keep paying past the 18th birthday till its paid in full.
now, i am paying support at the time. but this is an example of how people do become down and out. it happens to a majority of people in the world regardless if it has to do with CS or not. but here in florida, they are more concerned with recieving their money regardless. if the payer is out on the street a day from death, they wont care. in their eyes, they still are waiting on a check.
 
oh, and for the signing off part. i cant see how people could sign off their kids just because they dont want to pay support. i personally believe in my own opinion signing off your kids is just a sissy way to get out of it. but hey, to each their own i guess.
the process of this was explained to me by a phone rep at child services. you can sign over the child, but you still pay until that child is adopted. so, if the custodial parent gets remarried, the only way you can sign away the child is if that new guy/girl adopts the child. until then, the biological father is still required to pay.
again, all rules/laws will vary state to state. so, something for me may be different for another.
 
for kiere, they actually accept the fact that he gives you a check directly?
or have you not had a court order for child support?

here in florida, if a person gives the custodial parent a check for x amount of dollars(we will say the amount of the support), its considered a gift and isnt counted toward support. the only way its counted is if it goes to the state then from the state, a check is cut to the parent.
 
Man, this is a can of worms opened up. I was like Kiere and didn't take half of what Heather was entitled to while raising her from the age of 5 to 18. To this day her father still owes her over 2,000 and she's almost 24. When it came to her schooling I paid for everything. I also paid for her health insurance from the time she was 5 years old until she was 18. This including a pregnancy and birth of a child. Her father at that time was supposed to keep a 25,000 life insurance policy on himself with her as beneficiary. He never did. Now, here's the real kicker. He ONLY had to pay $45.00 per week from the time she was 5 til she was 18 and the MF'er couldn't even do that. If that isn't deadbeat, I don't know what is. Also, he was living with a woman with 3 children, (still is to this day and they've never gotten married, but have had a child together), and she got her child support every week, their health insurance was paid for by their dad and he paid for all their schooling.

Needless to say, what you males are forgetting in all this child support grief, is that is your blood also. That child should come first, even before yourself. If you have to go work at friggin' McDonalds to help support YOUR baby, then so be it. Us Moms will, wtf makes you all so holier than though that you can't? That is the difference between and Mother and a Father. A good mother will do anything and everything in her power to make sure her child(ren) are provided for, even above herself. This includes not eating to make sure her children do.

Get off you high horses all of you males who are complaining about the system in your state. It is YOUR responsibility also to help support the child you helped create. Males bitching about stuff like this still makes me sick to this day. You need to quit thinking in terms of the "ex", and start thinking about your child(ren).
 
yes, your right kat. on the other hand, not all people are in the same boat that your in. there are going to be many different scenarios that will differ person to person. not everything is as easy as it sounds. such as the "get a job at mcdonalds". granted, if thats what has to be done, thats what has to be done. BUT, what about those few people that live in the country, maybe without a vehicle and/or other mode of transport. how do u expect them to find employment as easily as it seems to sound? yes, there is walking. but have you walked 10 miles to go to work before? ive walked 20miles one time, and that is the last time i will ever do that again. that was the most horrid walk ive ever done. needless to say that i barely made it there.

its not only the "male" as its put, that has to support the child. there are mothers out there that sit around relying on the support and state support to live. my ex doesnt work. makes you wonder how she lives in a home that costs her about 800 a month not including utilities and/or cost of living.
 
Again Master, you're wondering about the "ex" and talking about her sitting around yada yada. It doesn't matter dude. You still need to do your part in the raising of the child you helped create. If you live in the country, and they don't have bus transportation, and you're being threatened with your DL being revoked, then I suggest you go purchase a used bicycle.

There is NO excuse you can come up with for not helping support your child.
 
Kat said:
Again Master, you're wondering about the "ex" and talking about her sitting around yada yada. It doesn't matter dude. You still need to do your part in the raising of the child you helped create. If you live in the country, and they don't have bus transportation, and you're being threatened with your DL being revoked, then I suggest you go purchase a used bicycle.

There is NO excuse you can come up with for not helping support your child.
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Um I think you might be taking this hypothetical scinereo a bit too seriously. MO says he's always paid and fully believes he should, but that may not always be the case. It varries from state to state.
 
PS. If worse comes to worse, I see people all the time walking down the sides of roads picking up tin cans and taking them to the dump. Here in Illinois you can get $40.00 per lb. I think it is, for just picking up tin cans and it's not taxable income.

So again, I reiterate, there is NO excuse for not helping support your child.
 
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