Intercultural communication is, ultimately, a two-way street. What does *not* work fairly, is one side going "ok, this is how I see and do things, deal with it". (What *really* doesn't work at all, is both sides doing that.)
What *does* work is each side going "so you know, this is how I do things, but I understand that that is how *you* do things, and I'll try to be understanding and respectful of you ... assuming that, in general, you will do the same to me". Keeping in mind though, that if that assumption *doesn't* pan out? (The "you" isn't respectful or understanding.) Then it's just like the non-working case above, where one side doesn't even try.
In this case:
Raizondetre should turn on the chat filter that turns off the check messages, if it bugs her (or is this person a guy? think I saw a "she" earlier, so ...). It saves her from being annoyed by being checked. It saves everyone else from her reactions. It's a win-win situation and everyone, including Raizondetre herself, should be not only okay with the solution, but *happy* with the solution.
If she chooses not to turn on that filter, then what she sees because of that, and how she reacts because of that, is her own responsibility. Intercultural differences do not make her exempt from her own responsibility. Nor does anything in Japanese culture (specifically, in this case) allow for, much less encourage, being irresponsible for your own actions. As far as I know.
As for party expectations, booting, and so on, that's more of an arguable gray area, and I can understand the conflict of cultural expectations in that case. Having said that, the most sensible option overall is as Uzor said earlier: go with the cultural expectations of the majority of the party.
If it's a primarily JP party, then stick together until the party disbands, even if someone isn't pulling their weight. I don't particularly agree with this mentality (I *am* NA), but I can see it, understand it, and respect it, if I'm in a primarily JP party. In JP parties, I do not find replacements for myself, and I try not to leave until I really have to, because I know the party is probably going to disband when I do. And I put up with a party even if it's not really up to my personal standards.
If it's a primarily NA party, then everyone should pull their own weight, or at least respond when criticized, or risk being removed in favor of someone that would result in the *party* being better off. Because to NAs, if you are perceived to be bad, if you don't respond and improve (or at least explain yourself) upon criticism, then a party leader can come to the conclusion that the party will be better off with someone more useful instead. From an NA perspective, someone who doesn't do their job right and who doesn't listen to advice about doing their job better, is a waste of a party slot, and the party is better off without them.
This mentality isn't arbitrarily "better" than the JP mentality, but it is still quite common among NA parties, and it's important for anyone (NA or JP) to know to expect this of those parties. Just like it's important for anyone (NA or JP) to know what to expect of JP parties.
(It's also important to note: people usually don't get booted for being a little below average. Usually if someone gets booted for being a poor player, they're not just a little below average. They're really bad. *REALLY* bad. So if you get booted from a party, it occasionally means the party leader's an idiot, but it much more often means that you *really* need to work on self-improvement.)
A NA player in a primarily JP party, should not expect the party to weed out poor players, like a NA party would. A JP player in a primarily NA party, should not expect the party to put up with them until disbanding, like a JP party would. In either case, if the player *does* expect that, then they're a fool to force their own expectations on a party, when they are in the minority in that party.
And for either NA or JP, spamming someone with tells from multiple mules for half an hour, is childish, and there is no good and mature reason to do it.
In this case, we have a player who happens to be JP, and who has unreasonable expectations of, and reactions (and overreactions) to, NA parties. The solution in this case is for the JP player in question to be more understanding of the NA culture. The solution is *not* to have NAs everywhere bend over backwards to please this one inflexible JP player.
If the situation were reversed, and it was an inflexible NA player in a JP party, unreasonably bringing NA expectations to that party, then I would criticize the NA player for being inflexible and say they needed to learn more about how JP parties work.
